Plus Size Queen

The Journey

I went back to my dorm room disappointed in myself. I should have not went to make sure he was ok. Then Jamie head suddenly had to pop up making me feel even stupider. If I was Jamie I would slap me. He was worried about me and James. He was right to worry about us. He took my freaking virginity. Ugh . I am a a bad girl. I grabbed two pieces of bread and put it over my ears and silently whispered I am an idiot sandwhich. When I hear a knock on the door I threw the bread and went to the door. Jamie stood at the door with a large collection of roses.

"I am sorry Jamie for the way I got mad at you because I was jealous. I really love you and I was scared that you didn't love me and James kept bragging about how you said you love him and you NEVER said it to me. Sorry." He looked at me with this adorable pouty face. I couldn't be mad him. He should be made at me.

"I have to tell you something to.." I said stuttering. I gave him a hug before he came in to sit down. He sat down on my bed as I put the flowers in the vase he brought me last week.

"But first let me tell you I told my family I will stay with you and watch you perform." He gabbed my hands and looked me in the eyes. The only thing I could do was look down. "I'm going to watch you be amazing." Every time he open his mouth the more my mind tell me to forget the situation in the prop room.

"Aw that's not necessary." I looked down drowned in guilt. I tried to hide my guilt with a big smile.

"It is. Jamie I love you, I want to see the different sides of you." He kissed my hand and my heart pounded.

"Thanks babe. You should see your family though. Family is important. I wish I could see mine but it's not safe for me. Go." I kissed his forehead and held back the truth. He got on his two feet and hugged me tightly.

"Ok I'll go. So what did you want to tell me?" I defiantly should tell him. My lips should be flapping like a bird. But it didn't.

"That I love you. I am sorry for all the wrong I did. I don't deserve you, but you still here." I kissed his cheek. He grabbed me and attacked my lips. He looked me in the eyes and gave me a kind heart. My heart felt like someone was squeezing it.

"I love you to." He whispered. A knock at the door interrupted us. It was Keith. The director of the play.

"Hi!" He greeted.

"Hi. What's up?"

"We are leaving in an hour so be ready. Make sure to bring night clothes, Comfy clothes and your costume. You'll be sharing a room with Kennedy and Julie. " He had a clip board and written something. Being who he is, he probably wrote told her so. He would write that in case we have a fight about something he would remember he told us. He likes being right.

"Ok thanks. Want to meet Jamie?" I said pointing to my boyfriend so he know I wasn't talking about myself.

"Sure." He shrugged.

"Jamie, this is the director Keith. Keith, this is my boyfriend Jamie." I introduced. They shook hands and Keith left. I grabbed my suitcase and check to make sure I had everything.

"Please be safe." I kissed his forehead and zipped my book bag up.

"I will. Make sure to be good." I pinched his cheeks and let him leave. Thank God he left. I felt like the insane man in the Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe. I can't take it. I wasn't sure I could do this no more. I sat for 45 minutes thinking hard. I grabbed my suitcase and started to go to the bus.

"Hi Jamie!" James said happily. He grabbed and squeezed me tightly. We all gather in the bus and I got a seat next to James.

"Hi." I mumbled back. The whole bus ride I didn't know what to say so I kept quiet. James didn't get the hint so he kept talking. I fell asleep on him after ten minutes

"Go to your rooms and put on your costumes. First performance in thirty minutes. We're late." Keith rushed us into the room and thankful we made it on time. We set up in twenty minutes. It was the students last day in school so we have to catch their attention before they start texting.

The play is about a teenager who feel like she have to bundle in her feelings so her family won't hate her. Her therapist have a hard dealing with her idgaf attitude. I among playing the girl that is bottling in her feeling. I had to exploded in a minute. I guess all that pressure didn't turn the rock into a diamond.

"EVERY SINGLE DAY WE GO THROUGH THE SAME THING. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS. MY MOM DONT CARE MY SISTER DON'T CARE IF MY DAD KNEW ME, HE WOULDN'T CARE. SO STOP WITH YOUR BS. DON'T TRY AND MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I'M IMPORTANT. BECAUSE I'M NOT. YOU WOULDN'T KNOW HOW I FEEL. EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE IS A FREAKING STRUGGLE... I know that every time people look at me they are disgusted... Even you. admit it. You hate me coming in here every day and wasting your time. Well... I'm done with life. I'm tired of trying. I will never be worth something." I slammed the fake door and went off stage. The therapist sat there shocked and confused. Her lips started to quiver like she was about to cry. She went to the phone shaking and called my mom. She explained the situation and then she call the police. By time they found me I was died. I cut my throat over the bathroom sink. When my mom found me she cried over my dead body. She grabbed the bloody knife and almost killed herself but the therapist saved her. It ended with a funeral. The mom stood to the microphone and made a speech.

"I wanted her to die. She ruined my life. Me and Jacob would have been happy if that fat piece of crap wasn't born." She drunk the rest of the bottle and slammed it down. That was the end. No happy ever after or anything. Many was confused and clapped loudly. I don't understand why they'd loved it. We bowed down on the stage and took in the applause. I was still dripping in fake blood that freak some people out. We went back stage and congratulate each other.

"Jamie." I turned around to se my Jamie. I smiled and gave him a big hug.

"What you doing here?" I heard James say behind me. He was angry and I didn't know what to do. I look in between the two and try to find out who to go to.