Chapter 37

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Peyton

I just made it to Kentucky. I sped all the way here so it only took about 5 in a half hours.

The whole care ride I was just thinking about my dad. I was trying to imagine life without him and I couldn't. If he dies I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. It's gonna ruin everything. I'll have to move home, start school in Kentucky, and most likely break things off with Luke. Just thinking about all of that makes me sick.

I pulled into to the hospital parking lot. I parked as close as possible and sprinted into the emergency room.

"Can you please tell me where Nicholas Becker is?"

"I'm sorry. Only family members are aloud in his room"

"IM HIS-"

"Peyton.."

I turned around to see my brother standing in the doorway to the emergency room.

"Seth!" I said while running over to him. He pulled me into a hug. He looked awful. His whole face was red and his eyes were flooded with tears.

"It's bad pey.. It's bad"

Just hearing those words made my heart drop. I can't lose my dad.

I let in a deep breath and released myself from the hug.

"I wanna see him"

"Are you sure? He's not-"

"Please just take me to him"

He gave me a reassuring look. Seth knew not to make me change my mind. Especially in these kind of situations.

He walked me to my dads room. I stopped in the doorway and looked at my mom. She was sitting beside my dads bed holding his hand while he laid there looking helpless. It reminded me of Luke and I. And that was all it took for me to break down. I haven't shed one tear until now.

I should've let Luke come. I can't do this on my own. I know I have my family which means the world to me but, Lukes hugs just make everything better for me. Even just the sound of his voice.

"Peyton it's gonna be alright" Seth said while pulling me into his arms again. I sobbed into his chest. The tears just wouldn't stop. This all feels like a never ending nightmare.

"I can't do this" I pushed Seth off me and ran down the hallway. I ran until Seths voice calling my name was just a muffled sound. I slid down the wall and tried to catch my breath.

Why why why

Once I could finally breath normally I called Luke.

"Hey baby, how is he? Are you okay?"

"No I'm not. I can't take seeing him like that Luke. That's my dad. He's supposed to be my big strong tough dad and he's lying in a bed helpless." I sobbed. I never let anything make me cry. Ever. But this is all just too much.

"Peyton please... Calm down."

"I'm not gonna calm down Luke! My dad is gonna die! How can I calm down? My best friend is going to die...." More sobbing, screams, and not being able to breath, "I need my dad Luke.."

"Stop saying he's gonna die. I get that you're upset but you need to think positive. I get it, nothing is positive about this but you just gotta leave it all to God baby. He's gonna help you through this. You're not alone"

"I don't want to lose him Luke.. I can't lose him"

"I know baby, I know. But if you do lose him then you're gonna regret not seeing him. I know good and well that you're not sitting beside him and talking to me. Go see him Peyton. Talk to him, scream at him, whatever you have to do. You did it to me and I woke up. I'm good as new because I had you by my side. He doesn't want to leave you either. He's just as scared as you are so go talk to him. I love you baby and I want to talk to you more than anything right now but you need to see your dad"

I just sat there for a minute. Luke always knows a way to make me feel better. I don't know how he does it.

"Okay... I'm gonna go see him.. Don't stop praying, I love you"

"I haven't stopped since you left baby, call me later when you're dad is fine" he said and hung up. Goodness I love him. I'm so lucky.

I wiped my tears on my sweater sleeve and stood up. I took a deep breath and slowly walked back to my dads room. My mom and brother weren't in here. This is probably all too much for my mom and her seeing me crying probably didn't make it any better.

I sat in the spot my mom was sitting in and grabbed my dads hand. It was still warm which means he isn't dead. His heart is still beating.

His heart is still beating.

"Hey daddy. I know you've probably been hearing this all morning but please stay with us. We need you more than you know. I know that I don't say it enough but I love you so much daddy. You can't leave me, not now. You need to be here for when I graduate, get settled and find a job, get married, have kids, and most importantly you need to meet someone who I love very dearly. He hasn't met mom yet, he actually hasn't met anyone yet. No one even knows about him. You're the first person I'm telling because that's how we are. We tell each other everything. You're my best friend dad and you're not aloud to leave me. You didn't even say goodbye. Please don't leave your little girl"

I watched him still continue to lie there. I wish I could go back to the times when I still lived at home and my dad would fall asleep on the couch while watching football. I'd draw on his face every time. He never learned. Thinking about that made me smile.

"Shame on you for making me cry. You know I never cry." I said.

"You know he can't hear you right?" Seth said while standing in the doorway with his arms crossed.

"Yes he can. He's not dead, he can hear me."

He sighed and sat on the edge of the chair I was sitting in. "I talked to him last night. He was so excited for thanksgiving so he could see you and me and so our family could be together again. He said he was watching home videos the other night and got emotional because his kids are grown up and didn't need him anymore. I just- he said that last night. He was stressed, sad, overwhelmed, and this morning he's on the ground having a heart attack."

"He's gonna be okay Sethy. He's not gonna leave without saying goodbye."

He cracked a smile and put his arm around me and squeezed my shoulder. "I hope your right sis. I hope your right."

Luke

It really sucks that Peyton didn't let me go with her. All I want is to be there for her and it always seems like she pushes me away. It was hard enough for me to even get to talk to her, now I guess I have to find a way for her to let me in on things. She and I both know that she can't go through this alone. It's not her choice anymore. She's dating me and if I want to be there for my girlfriend then hell I'm gonna be there. I asked Carter for his truck a little bit after Peyton left. I'm almost to Kentucky as of right now. She called me a little bit ago and I thought she would know that I was in a car but she was too busy sobbing. That's when I knew that my decision to come was a good one.
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A/N

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