19: First Time for Everything

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Whiskey POV

Kayla pleaded with me to push her, but I didn't want to push her too far. Over the last two days, I had hardly seen her. Partly because of me working my ass off with Hawk to figure everything out, and partly due to Kayla. Every time I saw her, she looked lost and like she was living in her head and I couldn't help but to overthink what happened at the cabin.

Did she regret what she did at the cabin? Did I make a mistake? I've never kissed someone and not known where they were at...until that night. She said she wanted it, but I could feel her holding back from me.

I removed our glasses of bourbon from our reach, not wanting Kayla to regret anything she was about to tell me. It has to be on her terms, not the alcohol.

The question tumbled out of my mouth and for a moment I didn't think she would answer. But she did, and I was not expecting her answer.

"Like I said earlier, two years ago, the Devil's Disciples were in my hometown. We had never had an MC in town before, but they quickly made it clear who they were and why they were there. Crime rates went up, women disappeared, and fear crept into the downtown area, which they controlled," Kayla confirmed.

"One night, before things got bad, I went out with some friends and we ran into the Disciples. They insisted on buying us drinks at the bar we were about to head into, but we didn't feel comfortable with it and tried to walk away. But they aren't the type to let people go. Thankfully, the police patrolling the area saw what happened, and the Disciples walked away, not wanting to start a war with the police," Kayla explained, letting out the breath she had been holding. Finding her hand, I gave it a gentle squeeze, reassuring her I'm not leaving.

"I'm sorry you had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting them, but I'm glad you are safe now. Thank you for telling me. Can I ask you a personal question?" I ventured, praying she would answer me.

"You can always ask, but I may not always answer," she replied, nodding at me to go on.

"Do you regret what you did in the cabin? Shooting them, kissing me, everything?"

Her eyes widened slightly, but never strayed from mine as she processed my loaded question. I need to know. To know how badly I fucked up and how I can fix it.

"No," Kayla answered with confidence. "I would do it all over again. I've learned from you to not regret anything because if I did, then I wouldn't be living. And I want to live," she said, smiling at me. But the way her smile didn't quite reach the corners of her face said it all.

Not wanting to have regrets myself, I asked, "What else, Kayla? What are you scared to say?"

Kayla let out a small laugh as she leaned against the cabinets behind her. I could see her mind racing, and it took everything in me to not pull her into me and kiss her fears away.

"That night at the cabin...that kiss...it was my first," she whispered.

"You were my first kiss."

What. The. Fuck.

Shock covered my face, and I quickly tried to hide it, but failed miserably. Kayla's face drained of color.

Her first kiss was me. What the fuck! I thought for sure someone like Kayla would have had a boyfriend, or at the very least, her pick of them. I mean, she is fucking beautiful. Her intelligence and grace is astounding to me. Did she actually want her first kiss to be with me?

"I'm sorry, I should have-"

Kayla quickly cut me off. "If I didn't want you to kiss me, I would have stopped you, and I'd like to think you know that about me," she assured me, and she was right.

Before I could reply, her hands found my face, running them along my scruff and through my hair, causing me to forget whatever I wanted to say. Kayla's touch gave me peace. A peace I have been searching for since I left the Army.

Pulling her into me, I placed a gentle kiss against her lips. Kayla leaned further into me and I couldn't help but smile against her lips. A beautiful laugh escaped her mouth, and I knew there was no one else for me. I hope she wants me too.

Standing up, I helped Kayla up off of the floor and walked towards the living room. As much as I wanted to keep Kayla to myself in the kitchen, I knew I had work to do with Hawk and Killer. As Kayla and I stepped out, we were met with silence, as all eyes were on us.

Tiger sat at the bar, beaming at us. "So...did you ask her to be your date at the wedding or do I have to do that for you too?" Tiger said, smirking.

Kayla stiffened next to me and I rolled my eyes at Tiger. "You know, some of us want to take our time getting things right. We're not all as lucky as you now, are we?" I said, hoping to take the attention off of Kayla.

"Ya, ya, whatever. I expect you two to be together...as dates...by my wedding," Tiger said, pointing between the two of us and headed to Killer's office. "Whenever that is..." she mumbled under her breath.

Everyone returned to their previous conversations, ignoring us now. Turning to Kayla, her cheeks were bright red and I couldn't help but stare at how beautiful she looked. Even when embarrassed.

Whispering in her ear, "You're cute when you're embarrassed." I didn't think her cheeks could redden any more, but I was wrong. Kissing her head, I walked to Killer's office, leaving a stunned Kayla.

*****

"What do you mean you can't find him? How hard is it to track the dot on the phone, Hawk?!" Killer practically yelled.

Blade and Shotgun stood against the far wall, not wanting to be involved. Ace stood behind Tiger, who seemed to become one with the chair as the stress ate away at her. Hawk sat behind a computer, while Killer stood over him, staring at something at the computer.

"I love you dude, but you do not know tech," Tiger piped up. "Hawk, give us a minute," she said. Hawk jumped out of his seat and ran out of the room, past me as fast as he could. Tiger pinned Killer with her green eyes, annoyed.

Killer took a seat, grunting. "I know. I'm sorry. You know I hate the unknown, because if I don't know, then I cannot protect you."

"Don't apologize to me, go apologize to Hawk," Tiger huffed.

Blade pushed off the wall, grabbing Killer's shoulder. "We will figure it out brother, it'll just take more time than we thought," he assured him and walked out of the office with Shotgun following behind.

Tiger turned to me, ready for answers. "Did Kayla tell you anything that would help us? I know you don't want to break that trust you're building with her, but we need something," she sighed.

Did she? No, not really. She had a run in with them, but nothing that warranted them to break into the cabin guns blazing. It seems personal, but no one knows why. Considering Kayla just got here, I doubt it is her.

I shook my head no, confident Kayla would have told me if she knew.

Tiger simply turned to her brother, staring at him, waiting for him to explain everything. Killer doesn't want to stress Kaitlyn out more, especially with the family fast approaching. Ace and Killer shared a look, knowing Tiger wouldn't leave until she had the answers she wanted.

Killer's walls dropped, and the look of defeat appeared as he told Tiger the basics of what had been going on between us and the Devil's Disciples MC. 

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