18: Church Meetings

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Kayla POV

Whiskey offered me his room, and I was too tired to refuse. Crawling into his bed, I let my mind wander down the dark path of no return. Letting the darkness consume me and creep into my bones. Tonight was my fault. It's always my fault.

I wasn't good enough to save my brother, and I'm not good enough to help the Riders now, either. Watching Tiger suffer, knowing it was my fault, was heart wrenching. Whiskey deserves someone who doesn't put those he loves in danger or hides from their truth.

The truth is, reality fucking sucks. People like me hide in their room to escape and have a few moments of true peace. A time where you can block the world out and stop drowning in the noise and lives of everyone else. And one day, the noise will stop and life will go on without you.

*****

The following day was quiet. Ace and Tiger stayed in their room, Killer looked distraught the few moments I saw him, and Whiskey was MIA. He buried himself in his work, trying to find out who had attacked us, leaving me alone in his room.

I spent the next two days in his room, only coming out to eat, but headed straight back in after. Whiskey could tell something was bothering me, but he didn't know what to do. No one did. No one understands what it's like to be responsible for things you wish you could take back. Each Rider has a past, a story to tell, but most aren't responsible for the pain of others.

Shouting woke me up. Downstairs, Whiskey and Killer were going at it about the night at the cabin. Killer silenced him and yelled "church" to those standing around watching. Looking up at the railing, he pointed at me and I panicked.

"You too."

Shit. Shit. Shit. I'm so fucked.

Everyone gathered in a large meeting room as Killer took his place at the head of the table, his face red with anger. Blade sat on his right and Ace and Tiger on his left. I wasn't sure where to go or the best place for me to stand, so I stood by the door with a few others I didn't know; observing.

"Someone better tell me exactly what the fuck happened that night. You said your cabin was safe! How the fuck did they find you!?" Killer roared at Whiskey, who sat there saying nothing.

It wasn't his fault! That's what I wanted to yell at him, but I knew better. I am a guest here. Killer made that perfectly clear.

"It was secure. I don't know how they found us, but I take full responsibility. I'll work with Hawk and figure out what happened," Whiskey dryly stated.

"Did any of you recognize any of them? We ran everyone through our database and came up empty. We're going in blind here," Killer asked those of us at the cabin.

No one said anything. They didn't know. That night, everyone was covered from head-to-toe. But even if they had shown their skin, there wouldn't be any tattoos. That much I know for sure.

How can I stand here and say nothing? They have taken me in, giving me no reason to not trust them, and I owe them an explanation. I can do this. I can trust them. They aren't like others.

"I, uh, I think I can help," I stuttered out. All eyes went to me and my stomach was in my throat in an instant.

"Talk. Now." Killer demanded.

"I recognized one of them. I don't know his name, but I know what motorcycle club he's a part of. If that's helpful," I offered.

Killer nodded as I stepped up to the other end of the long table. "Um, a few years ago, the Devil's Disciples MC came through the town I lived in. They made themselves known to everyone in town and the guy that I-"

My eyes glassed over, but I pushed the tears and thoughts aside. Looking up, warm brown eyes encouraged me to go on, so I did.

"He, along with others, was in the town I lived in. That's why I recognize him," I admitted.

Silence fell in the room, and I thought I had said something wrong. Everyone looked around one another, as if they knew something I didn't. Apparently neither did Tiger, as she looked around and noticed the exchanged looks, too.

"Kayla, are you sure it's the Devil's Disciples MC? Maybe it was another MC? They didn't have the Disciples logo tattooed on them," Blade asked, filling the silence.

"I'm positive. Back home, not all the members had their signature reaper tattoo on their neck or arm. At least not their newest members. The president at the time was Slasher," I rambled on, trying to convince them.

"I believe her," Whiskey called out. His eyes burned into me, silently asking how I knew this information. Most people who meet Slasher, or anyone from the Disciples MC, don't live to tell the tale. Guess I am the exception, and it's biting me in the ass.

"What aren't you saying?" Tiger asked. "My wedding is in a month, Killer. We're supposed to be on a fucking plane in three weeks. If it will not happen, I need to know now. I can't wait until the last minute."

"Tiger-" Ace's voice was soft, but it didn't matter...Tiger knew.

"I understand," she said, her voice not wavering. In an instant Kaitlyn became detached, and a Tiger who could have cared less what happened next.

I know better than to make promises I can't keep, but I also knew that I would do whatever it takes to ensure that Tiger and Ace had their wedding. Even if it means I'm not there.

"Tiger...you, Ace, and your brother have given me everything since I've been here. I've talked little about my past, but being here has given me life again. Seeing what you all have, and the family you have created, I would give anything to have that. So, whatever it takes, whatever you need from me, I will do it to ensure you get the wedding you deserve," I choked out, keeping my tears at bay.

Tiger got up and pulled me into a hug. Grabbing my hand, she led me out of the meeting room and into the kitchen. She walked out and came back with bourbon for me and mimosa for herself. We both sat on the floor and drank in silence.

Warmth spread through my body as the bourbon went down and I like it. I don't enjoy being drunk, but the feeling alcohol gives me I enjoy far more than I should.

"Stop me if I overstep a boundary," Tiger spoke up. "But Kayla, I want you to stay and be happy. And when you're with Whiskey, that's when you're happiest. He doesn't let people in easily, and neither do you, for good reason. I've seen you grow immeasurably since being here. Most people would run after the other night; you stayed. I understand you don't trust others easily, but this is a family. Your family; if you want it to be," she assured me.

This is Kaitlyn, talking to me. The girl who has overcome more than life itself and she sees me for who I once was and am becoming again.

Kaitlyn finished her drink and headed for the bar again. She brought a second glass, set it on the floor next to me, and left. I looked back at the doorway, confused, but Whiskey appeared and I understood.

Whiskey sat next to me, taking the second glass, and filled it halfway. He slung it back effortlessly, grabbed both our glasses, and set them down on the counter above us. His brown eyes bore into me, wanting to ask me the one question everyone wanted to ask, but couldn't.

"Ask me," I said, not looking at him.

"Kayla, I don't want to overstep and push you away. You mean too much to me to do that," he confessed, grabbing my hand.

"Please, Whiskey. Ask me," I said, determined to do my part for the Riders.

"How do you know Slasher and the Disciples?" he cautiously asked.

You asked for this, Kayla. Now is the time to tell your story. It's time to talk about it. 

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