1: Sleepless Nights

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Whiskey POV

Sweat dripped down my back, my ears rang, and images seared in my brain. Placing my feet on the icy floor, running my fingers through my hair, there is no way I could go back to sleep now. Getting up, I got in the shower to wash everything away, wanting to forget. The ringing in my ear never stopped, and I knew today would be a long day.

Early morning sunlight filled the clubhouse as I headed to the kitchen. Most of the guys were out on a run, a run I should be on, but I was told to stay behind to watch the old ladies and clubhouse.

The kitchen light was on. Finding Kaitlyn slumped over on the kitchen island, with Dakota at her feet. They both looked asleep, so I quietly took a coffee mug from the cupboard, risking my life if I woke Tiger up without coffee in hand. Turning around, I walked out to the bar to make coffee, but a low, gravely voice stopped me.

"That cup better be for me." Kaitlyn sleepily stared at me, or rather, the empty mug in my hands.

"Did you get any sleep, Tiger?" I asked, knowing the answer. Kaitlyn struggled when her brother or Ace left, but when both leave she never sleeps, and she's barely holding on.

Ace's room is next to mine and every night I and everyone else can hear the nightmares that wake her. As her friend and confidant, I want to make sure she is alright, but I can't. She isn't mine. Dakota helps with her nightmares and anxiety, but it didn't make it easier to hear her muffled cries into Dakota's fur. I understood firsthand the pain she goes through, and Kaitlyn deserved better.

"Are you going to make me coffee, or are you just going to keep staring at me because I look like shit?" she asked, pulling me from my thoughts, and proceeded to make coffee.

My feelings towards Kaitlyn remained hidden, and I didn't plan on telling her. Since her engagement three months ago, she has been happy, and she is happiest with him, and that's all that matters to me.

"Here," I handed her a cup and creamer, "you want to talk about it?"

"Not much to talk about..." she said, defeated.

Her dark and puffy eyes told me everything I needed to know. As much as Ace and Killer kept me here to watch the clubhouse, I was here for Kaitlyn. She doesn't trust easily and I am one of the few people she lets in. Making how I felt about her even harder to hide from her and the others.

"You forgot to take your meds again last night," I remarked. "I'll go get them. You know, if I didn't know any better, I think you want your brother to kill me when he gets home." I laughed, walking upstairs, waiting for a snarky response from her.

Throwing the middle finger and a small smile towards me, I went upstairs for her medications.

There's my Tiger. The one who struggles just like me, but fights every day.

*****

I headed for the bar, leaving Kaitlyn with a hormonal and pregnant Ginger. Friday nights bring in the rowdy crowd. We are the only bar in the area where confidentiality and discretion are of importance. The Phoenix Riders do not condone affairs or non-consensual sex within their relationships. But we do not interfere, usually, in the affairs of the club's sweetbutts. However, we looked out for women, Rider or not, and others will not take advantage of or feel unsafe while on our turf.

Later in the evening Tiger and some of the other old ladies came by, killing the time until their men came back. Around one a.m. a customer tried to force himself onto the women, making them feel uncomfortable.

Tiger's hands formed into fists as she pushed Ginger behind her, ready to live up to her name. This is why I stayed back. To ensure Tiger doesn't have to put people in their place, becoming the enforcer herself. That's my job.

Other Riders moved the women behind them, safely out of reach, leaving Tiger and our unwanted guest standing at odds. The others waited for me to separate them, knowing I'm the only one who can and live to see tomorrow.

"You've overstayed your welcome, bud. It's time for you to leave," I growled out. The room fell silent as he measured himself up against me, wondering how many punches he could get in. The answer; none. Ace is the enforcer, but I deal with drunk assholes most nights. 

He will throw sloppy punches, lose his balance, leaving wide open shots for me to take. First to the ribs, then a right-hook to the face, and finally a shot to his head. Leaving him disarmed and disoriented.

Or that's what would have happened, but he muttered under his breath, sending Tiger over the edge. She was quick, throwing her knee into his dick and a fist to his eye, but not quick enough. His fist caught her chin, while the other headed for her side, probably breaking a rib.

I quickly grabbed his arm, twisting until I heard a pop and a cry, and he went rigid. Leaning into his ear, ensuring he heard me, I said, "Leave. Now. Or you'll answer to Ace."

Ace's reputation precedes him, and everyone knows if you cross him, or his old lady, the Hellhound will come for them. Realization kicked in and a smirk crossed Tiger's face as blood trickled from her lips. The guy flailed against me as I dragged him out of the bar. His elbow landed right above my ear and the dull ringing I had before was full throttle now.

Reaching the end of my patience, I shoved him against the brick wall, pounding his face until he slumped forward, unconscious. Whipping the blood from my hands, I tried to focus on anything but the ringing in my ear. I quickly sent a text to the others, telling them to meet me out back. Ace and Killer will want to "talk" with this guy, and so will I.

I looked up and found Kaitlyn standing in the doorway, looking between me and the guy on the floor. Shit.

"Tiger-"

She silenced me, saying something, but I couldn't hear her. Not with the relentless ringing in my ear. When I didn't respond, she knew what was happening. Tiger asked me if I was ok through sign language and I shook my head no.

Bear and a prospect came out from the bar asking questions, which Tiger answered. They began working as Tiger and I headed back inside. She found the others, telling them we were heading back to the clubhouse.

Dakota greeted us at the door, going straight to Kaitlyn's side. She smiled, greeting the dog, and nodded towards the kitchen, silently telling me where to go. I sat at the island, trying to keep my wits about me, unsure of how it all happened.

Tiger came back with the first aid kit and she piled supplies next to me. Tapping my shoulder she signed, "Shower first, then I'll patch you up."

Standing up, I grabbed frozen veggies from the freezer and tossed them to her. "Ice your face while I shower, please? Ace is going to kill me and I don't need the bruise taking over half your face." Kaitlyn laughed, taking the veggies and placing them on her face before playing with Dakota.

*****

The scalding water burned into my skin as I reflected on my life. This is not where I wanted to be. Thirty-two, single, in love with someone I couldn't have, and the head of the Phoenix Riders' operations and logistics. I never thought I'd have a family, with brothers who look out for one another, ever again.

Brotherhood...my past. Making promises I couldn't keep. Promising to keep them safe and I couldn't...I tried to...

I finished my shower, refusing to go down that path, and went downstairs where Kaitlyn cleaned up the few scrapes I had. As the bruise on her face grew, so did her nerves for Ace to come home. But it wasn't her fault. It was the idiot at the bar and mine.

Reaching out, I took her hand in mine. "Don't worry, Princess. This isn't your fault. You know Ace would never be mad at you," I said. But my reassurance wasn't helping.

"I'm not worried about me...I'm worried about you. I'm not stupid, and I know why my brother and Ace asked you to stay. You did your job. It's not your fault, either," Kaitlyn reassured me.

Arguing with her was pointless, and I know better than to try right now. "Go get some sleep and if you need anything, you know where I am," I whispered, cleaning up the small mess and putting it away.

Small arms snaked around my stomach, not allowing me to move. "Thanks Whiskey. Try to get some sleep too," she whispered. Tiger called for Dakota and they headed upstairs together.

I won't sleep until you do...goodnight Princess.

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