Just one more pill 5sos fanfic Luke Hemmings, Ashton Irwin ( #wattys2015 )

Chapter 30. Gymnopédie

The girl above is Alex. But if you thought she looked different feel free to keep imagining!

I found my self walking down the shallowly lit pathway. It was a perfect combination. A combination of pain, guilt, and shaking everything. The thing I had to leave, the thing I had to put behind was sadly the most dramatic part of my life. It was the moment I remembered everything, the moment I realize I was crazy.

I had the typical childhood. I played my friends and family, occasionally talked about boys. It was wonderful. But now that I'm older now, I realize I that had been in a battle with myself. And I had won. It couldn't have been that easy. There had to be more.

I didn't know I why I was walking. Probably because I thought I needed fresh air.

I shuffled back to my car after a quite stressful night.

It was 3:00 in the morning. I wasn't going to school. I texted my therapist, letting her know I was stopping by "after" school.

Kate and Sophia were probably mad. Probably extremely angry.

I was an idiot. I was emotional. I didn't realize I had a great guy. A great guy who cared about me. I had a guy named Luke. I didn't need Ashton. Even though I still needed to talk to him.

God even being away from Kate and Sophia for a little bit made me feel slightly uncomfortable and scared.

It felt amazing seeing who I have become, and who I was still be the same person. It's a rather confusing process, I like to call it "your twin" you see twins are Identical in a psychological way, but not mental. Old Alex, was one twin. New Alex, is the other. But one had to be born first. Twins are similar, but not exactly the same. As you can tell I've spent a lot of time thinking about the whole idea.

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*later in therapist office*

"Alex! It's been so long since you have been here! Hope you have been well!" My therapist said in an overly happy voice.

Her room reminded me of what I thought some rich kids house would look like. There were toys and stuffed animals everywhere. There were countless numbers of card decks, multiple t.vs, and a huge green beanbag. Very childish, but that's part of the reason I felt comfortable in there.

Even though her room seemed fit for a two year old, it was a lot more fun when you were older.

He room had a kinda Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory vibe. My therapist was an average hight. She wore huge glasses and one of the half mermaid skirts, that had huge ruffles on the back and was black. She was wearing a button up white shirt that was tucked into the skirt. And her hair was in a messy bun. Her shoes were black slipons with a little bow on the top.

We sat down and she began to ask me the clear questions. How are you? Is everything okay? Who do you want to do the improve this?

Then I told her about last night.

Her response was a mix of surprised and confused. Good confused.

"What do you mean sweetheart" she smiled anxiously.

"I mean that I know my stupid boyfriend didn't die" I said loud and ignorant.

"Discribe"she forced

"There's really not a lot to it, he didn't die, I was crazy, he's still a walking breathing perosn. Is that clear enough? " I said leaning back in my chair.

"When did you come to this conclusion" she pressed on.

"Last night" I said "but why did I forget it? And I really psycho? "

She was writing something on her notepad. I always worried when she did that.

"Your not crazy" she said looking up for a second before returning to her ever so important notepad.

"Then why did I do it" I said. I could tell I was getting angry.

She got up stretched a bit before heading to the door.

"Sometimes our minds put of things until where ready to deal with them, it's a form of self defense, a way that your mind trys to trick it's self. There are so many ideas behind it. But until next time Alex, I have another appointment right after this. Hope you have a great day" she said exiting the room and heading into the room where they kept all the information. I could tell she felt very, extremely educated.