Just one more pill 5sos fanfic Luke Hemmings, Ashton Irwin ( #wattys2015 )

Chapter 24.

I didn't know what to think when Ashton pulled me a side to talk. Was he mad? Did he care? Was he going to hurt me?

"Alex, you know I love you right. I told you I did before and I wasn't lying. I'm just not sure how I love you yet and it's really fucking confusing. I'm protective over you, but I leave when you need me to go and make out with your best friend. I like you a lot Alex. Im confused is all. The truth is I honestly have no idea how to feel right now."

I didn't know what I expected from him, but it definitely was not an apology.

We sat in silence.

"Well if your not sure how to feel about me, I'll stay away..." I said "I'll let you think, I'm not going to waste my time for you to figure this out, until you do, please just get away from me. I can't loose another person I care about Ashton." I was almost crying

"Wait Alex, who have you lost" Ashton said

"Just leave it, it really doesn't matter, I'll be fine I'm always fine and when I'm not I'm invisible" I said "I can't get hurt again, I literally can't handle it " I said laughing at the last part, cleaning off a tear.

"Wait Alex I can live with out you" Ashton said with a pause "I just don't want to"

I was puzzled.

"I'll give you some time to think Ashton, just while your doing it, stay away from me. I can avoid the boys so you guys can hang out but I just need to know...how you feel so I don't end up falling for someone who never cared"I said leaving and heading into the bathroom.

I sat there for 30 more minutes, half of the time crying, the other half was spent trying to make it look like I didn't cry.

When I stepped out everyone was still there having fun, except Luke. He stayed while I was in there, but didn't want to interrupt me in case I didn't want to be bothered.

When he saw me he pulled me into a hug.

"Is Ashton still here?" I asked

"Shockingly yes" Luke said "come on let's go be loners in the other bedroom"

He pulled me into the same room I was in with Ashton, then shut the door and fell to the ground. I fell to the ground nuzzleing into his chest. Before I knew it I was crying again.

"God why do I have to be so....annoying" I thought.

"Hey its okay, do you wanna talk about it?" Luke said.

You could tell he was a great listener. I decided to tell him.

Let's hope this wasn't a mistake.

"Some time last year my boyfriend cheated on me with one of my other best friends, who I no longer talk to, he tried to make it okay but in a odd way. He said we could be in a secret relationship because of his social standard. He said he didn't want his friends to know about me. But he said he loved me and he treated me well and we had a great time together. He told me i was the only giro i his life. He told me he lived me. And i got along great with his little sister, and she loved me. Even there fucking dog loved me Then he cheated again. And again, and I kept forgiving him until I didn't. But the thing I'm going to have to face sometime is that he never truly loved me. But I still think he did in my mind even when I now I'm wrong." I said "He died the next day, the day after I wouldn't forgive him. It was my fault."

Luke seemed shocked

"So that's why I'm here, because my parents didn't know what to do with there depressed teenage daughter. I wouldn't eat, or sleep and I stopped going to school until just recently, and I met you guys. But I still get flashbacks. And they hurt. And Ashton doesn't really make sense."

"Do they know how he died?" Luke asked

"That's the strange thing, there were never any reports about it. You think something like that would be on the news in a little town like mine was."

"That's definitely odd, but will worry about it later" he said pulling me closer and planting a kiss on the top of my head.

The great thing about Luke is he asks appropriate questions. The ones he knows I can handle. Most people can't or wont do that. They insist to know everything once you start talking about something personal. He was definitely special.