Chapter 57: A Celebration

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Tsukishima kept his eyes focused on his girlfriend's father, even as he felt his mind beginning to race.  Was that too much?  Declaring that I want to be with Nakano forever?  I mean, we just did talk about the fact that at some point, Nakano and I will be physically intimate with each other, he thought, so having me say I want to be with her forever ought to be a good thing.  Right?  Of course, I'm all of sixteen, and Nakano is still fifteen for a couple more weeks.  What do we know about forever?  He suddenly realized how this all must seem to this man, this grown adult with two teenage daughters, one of whom was almost an adult herself.  I must look like such a lovestruck little boy, Kei realized, a teenaged fool prattling on about love and forever like I know what those words mean.  He once again felt his cheeks growing hot with embarrassment, and he looked down into his lap.  But I'm not, he chided himself, I'm not an idiot.  I know we're young, but what Nakano and I feel for each other is not the dopey, puppy-dog kind of schoolyard crush that so many of our peers feel.  That's not what we are.  But will he believe me if I tell him that?  How can I convince him?

Tanjiro watched the boy, trying hard to keep his face impassive.  Ah, youth, Tanjiro thought.  So full of pride and passion, so dramatic.  He's a young man of strong emotions, but he tries to control them, to keep them inside.  And now he's beginning to let them all out in front of me, and it's making him self-conscious.  Right now, love is all strange feelings in your chest, and dramatic confessions, and deep meaningful declarations of undying devotion.  And those do have their place, he acknowledged, remembering a few impassioned speeches of his own when he was young.  But real love, love that goes on for a lifetime, is both much more and much less than that.  It's compromises and arguments and tears in the middle of the night.  It's going to the store for ice cream because you made her cry over something stupid.  It's wondering if you're really ready to be a husband, really ready to be a father, but knowing you have to be because she's counting on you to make it all right.  As Kei looked down, Tanjiro couldn't help the sympathetic smile that drew itself over his lips.  But you're too young, you won't understand any of this yet.  You're a good young man, and I believe you mean what you say Tsukishima Kei.  But you've no idea where this leads yet.

When Kei looked up, his face was set.  "Sir, I know you're probably thinking we're too young to understand what it means to really be in love."  Tanjiro's eyes widened a little at the accuracy of that statement, and Kei plunged on.  "I know that this whole thing sounds like...like we just love the drama of 'being in love.'  But that's not it.  At least, that's not all it is.  I...I don't know how to explain this very well.  I know that real love is about, well, small things.  Dramatic over-the-top gestures are great, but I know that real life is not all about those.  When my mom talks about my dad, she never says that she misses him bringing her flowers, or singing her love songs, or romantic things like that.  She misses his snoring.  She misses the way the house used to feel when he was still in it.  She misses his love of putting wasabi on pretty much everything, even though she hates wasabi.  I think that's what love really is, sir.  It's feeling weird when I have to walk home from volleyball alone because Nakano has a doctor's appointment.  It's when I find it hard to get to sleep because I don't feel her weight on the bed.  It's missing her scent because she hasn't been in my room for a while and it's faded away.  I know that at sixteen I really don't understand very much of what life is all about yet.  But I want you to understand that what I feel for Nakano runs much deeper than just a typical high school crush, I think.  I hope this makes some kind of sense, sir.  I'm sorry if it doesn't."  Kei sort of rambled his way to a stop, hoping that he'd not just made things worse.

Tanjiro stared at the boy across from him with an expression of mingled shock and happiness on his face.  I'll be damned, he thought, he just might understand more than I gave him credit for.  "Don't worry, young man, you made perfect sense.  I think my daughter is very lucky to have found you, Kei.  And before you say it, I know you feel the same way about her," the man said hastily as Kei opened his mouth to protest.  "I'm glad I saved that last bit of sake," Tanjiro said with a chuckle, "because your relationship with Nakano is definitely worthy of a celebration."  He chuckled again as he could see Kei's body visibly relax, and a relieved smile burst onto the boy's face.  "I hope you don't feel that I was too hard on you.  I promised my Little Warrior that I wouldn't overwhelm you."

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