His Warrior Queen: A Haikyuu!! Novel (Tsukishima x OC)

Chapter 38: Weak (TW)

(TW: Discussion of drug addiction)

Nakano gave Kei's hand a squeeze, and took a very deep breath.  She released it slowly, turning to face out over the water.  Kei watched her, keeping her hand in his, still rubbing small circles on the back of it with his thumb as he waited for her to find the words she needed.

"Kei, I told you about how, when I first came home from the hospital after my accident, my family tried to get me to accept my condition...to learn to live with being in a wheelchair for the rest of my life," she began.

"Mhmmm," he hummed as he nodded, "but you came to the conclusion that you couldn't do that."

"Yes," she whispered, "but I didn't really tell you how I got to that conclusion.  That's...that part of the story is what I think I need to share with you today."

"Roses," he began, his voice soft, "you don't have to share anything you're not..."

"I know Kei," she turned to face him, the wind off the ocean blowing her hair back, "but...I feel like I need to tell you.  I'm just...this is something I've never shared with anyone before.  My family has guessed parts of it...and of course some of my doctors have to know parts of it...but no one knows all of it except me.  And now I need to tell you.  Because you need to know...to decide if...if someone like me..."

Kei knew that nothing he said in response to the way she was thinking would help.  He simply gave the girl's hand a squeeze and smiled a soft smile at her, letting her know he was ready to hear anything she wanted to tell him.

Another deep breath of the crisp, salt sea air filled Nakano.  As she released it, she began, turning once again to face the ocean.  "So, after my accident, I was completely unconscious for a full week, at least, from what I can tell."

Kei flinched.  He'd had no idea it had been that bad.  When she'd told Oikawa she was lying in a hospital half-dead, he'd thought that was hyperbole.  Apparently, the accident had come a lot closer to taking her life than he'd thought...and that knowledge made him want to hold her close to him at once.  He took a deep breath too, trying to stay calm.  

"Once I was awake, I spent another five weeks in the hospital.  I don't remember the surgery I'd had at all.  The very first thing I remember is waking up and seeing Mom and Dad staring at me, crying.  I had been, all things considered, pretty lucky.  My legs took the brunt of the impact.  From what the doctors said, the driver must have slammed on the brakes just before impact, and the front end of the car caught me square on the legs.  My body hit the hood and windshield of the car as a secondary impact, leaving me pretty battered and bruised, but my legs had been broken to bits.  If I worked at it, I might be able to remember all the broken bones and the torn tendons and ligaments, and whatever else they said, but I don't think you want to hear about that.  Suffice to say that, at that time, my legs were basically useless.  They'd done what needed to be done so that I could eventually get into a wheelchair, but nothing more."

Kei knew that she would have had no trouble listing off the exact injuries if he'd asked her to.  She knew them all, he was quite certain.  But he had no need to hear the list, nor did he wish to make her relive it.  Her voice had flattened into something cold, almost detached, as she spoke of her state following the accident.  She had become preternaturally calm, while he was becoming more agitated by the second as his mind conjured up images to match the words coming from her.  He found himself squeezing her hand very tightly; he willed himself to relax, knowing that at some point, she would likely need to rely on him to provide her with the strength to continue.

"The doctors said there was some damage to the nerves in my legs, but for the most part, they were okay.  This turned out to be a blessing and a curse.  A blessing, because eventually, it would make the recovery I've achieved possible.  A curse, because once I was conscious, I began to feel the pain."