And Then He Smiled (Logicality)

Chapter 77 - A Long Overdue Explaination

Trigger warning: Mention of sucide, mention of bullying, mention of homophobic acts

"I owe all of you an explaination," Logan sat across from his family as Roman and Remus sat beside him.

It had been precisely one night since he had come back, Roman had slept over, stealing the space between Logan and Patton in their bed. He claimed it was payment for throwing him off of the sofa the other night. Roman had taken it as an invite to sleep with the two. Not like they minded anyways, their friend deserves a good place to sleep. However they didn't feel that way when they woke up with Roman drapped across both of them, one finger tickling the inside of Patton's cheek and his foot resting under Logan's face. Let's just say Roman wouldn't be welcomed as a guest for multiple nights.

Remus however would be welcomed back with open arms for the pure fact he wasn't in their bed and because he had to walk to their house because Roman hadn't told him that he was at Logan's and Patton's apartment.

The 3 on the sofa across from Logan all nodded, unsure if they should even say anything in the first place. Either way, they all stayed silent, waiting paitently ror the next thing that Logan would say to them.

"When we all went to Emile's house, he mentioned....a name," Logan began, treading carefully, "A name that I hadn't heard in years, one that I hadn't spoken in years," he continued, "In fear that what happened would become...real," He paused looking back up at his family. "There's even a picture of him up in the hallway with myself, a picture that Yvette pointed out a while back. His name was Virgil Haywood," He sighed, "And he...he was my best friend and he's dead. And he has been dead for a while now," Logan rambled slightly.

Across from him, the other three listened in silence, encourging him to continue speaking, "Patton had brought up his name the day after Emile had mentioned him, he was worried, rightfully so. But I ran out because... because I was scared," Logan stated. "Scared of the truth I suppose, scared of myself in some way,"

"Why of yourself?" Janus asked Logan, leaning his chin on his hands.

"Because I couldn't stop him," Logan admitted, "I knew about the problems that he experienced, I even went through a lot of them with him. Kids were cruel and they made him dangerous to himself," He nodded to himself, remembering his childhood, "Even if I saw him happy, I knew those thoughts lay domant in his mind, eventually they came real, well, real to everyone else apart from him," He told them, "I remeber attending his funeral and all of them were there, mourning the person they knew," Logan paused for a moment, "Then there was me, mourning the person that he really was, knowing the reason he was 6ft below us, knowing why those kids bullied him to death,"

Interwining his fingers together, Logan smiled mournfully, "I remember seeing Aaron, Xander, Diego and Victor all trying to keep it together, but I knew if they knew why he died, they would be contributing to it too," Logan admitted, "I couldn't exactly feel sorry for them," Logan sighed, "So when Patton said his name it reminded me of all of that, they still try and keep in touch as well yet their predejustices still haven't changed, and I wasn't going to let them make my life bad,"

Sitting up, Patton looked towards Logan, guilt clear as day upon his face, "Why did they do that to him?" Patton asked, knowing the answer already.

"Because he was gay," Logan answered, "And the only reason they knew is because I came out and then Virgil came out to me. Some people spread it around, and of course the wrong kind of people found out,"

"What does gay mean?" Yvette genuinely asked Logan. Four pairs of eyebrows were raised at the question before they all turned to Logan again so he could answer.

Smiling kindly, Logan began his explaination, "Being gay is liking people of your own gender. But some people hate gay people for their own narrowminded opinions which negatively impact people's lives, this is called being homophobic," Logan explained, "Another word for gay is homosexuality or homosexuals. For example, me and your dad are gay,"

Nodding, Yvette pondered that for a moment before looking back at Logan.

"That's essentially what happened along with a lot of oversharing," Logan ended his little explaination, as he gazed over towards Patton with those sad eyes he had on the whole time, he raised an eyebrow as soon as he saw the expression that was stamped on Patton's face to the point you could almost see right through him. Looking around, Logan thought about what to say, a boardgame from the corner of his eye caught his attention, "Who wants to play Cluedo?" Logan asked awkwardly as he stood up.

~~~

After a few hours of repeatedly playing Cluedo and having a good laugh after that serious talk, they decided to order some food and then go to bed. Roman had decided to stay another night but had been kicked out of bed and was now sleeping on a sofa along with Remus.

Beside one another, Logan and Patton just laid in bed together, neither one spoke, they only looked at each other with a thousand words. Beaming quietly, Patton had a million things to say, yet didn't know quite how to say them. Rehearshing the thoughts in his mind, Patton continued to gaze at his finacè.

"Something on your mind mi amour?" Logan asked, shuffling slightly to look at Patton better. Swirls of the sea fell like the tide at noon all centered around Patton's pupil, he often didn't see Patton's eyes closely. He'd forgotten how much he enjoyed gazing into them.

Watching Logan, Patton smiled gently, "There is," He told him, leaning on his palm as he sat up slightly, his eyes playing dot to dot with Logan's poly shaded freckles that were patterned upon his face.

Indictacting for Patton to speak, Logan nodded before saying, "I'm all ears". Reassuringly Logan placed his hand on the arm that Patton was holding himself up with.

Humming in response, Patton sat back down, lying on his arm and Logan's hand, "I was thinking about what you said earlier and there's something that's been bothering me ever since," Patton began, the whistling of Logan's nose breathed in his face.

"Which part?" Logan asked, the smell of dinner mixed with toothpaste made Patton cringe slightly at the smell.

Sighing, Patton tugged the duvet over his shoulder. "I remember, before we both met, I was like those kids. The ones that.... you know," Patton paused mid sentence, "Did that to you and Virgil," He ended. "But now I'm thinking about it, the things I've said to some people, people I barely knew, they were horrible things," Patton admitted.

"Do you know their names?" Logan questioned, as he moved onto his side.

Shrugging, Patton shook his head, "I don't remember," He stated, "That just makes me feel worse to be honest," he groaned quietly, chuckling with an awkward smile yet his eyes shivered with droopy eyes and tired brows.

Placing his palm on Patton's cheek, Logan rubbed it softly, "At the very least you've improved, and I'm sure if you ever run into them again, they'll be glad," Scoffing with an appricative grin, Patton leaned into the touch. "Nobody is perfect, we've all made mistakes,"

"I know," Patton agreed gently as he seemed to nod off to sleep.

Slipping Patton's hand into his own, Logan took his hand off of his cheek and got comfortable. "Good night mi amour, I love you,"

End Of Chapter. 1313 Words.