never had a silence been this painful and hard to bare. yet even when junhui wasn't quite able to throw a glance at the opened door, he noticed minghao's presence right away. words were left unspoken, but junhui was still aware of the tears in minghao's eyes and the look of agony expressed on his face.
"jun?" a quiver was heard in minghao's voice once the younger finally decided to break the overwhelming silence.
"hao, please lay with me for a moment." junhui wished he was still able to make a hand gesture for minghao to come over, or to at least pat the bed. the only option he had left however was to use his words, like how he had taught and helped minghao to do.
and just like that another silence dawned upon them. one where minghao squeezed himself in the small space he had to share with junhui, curling up against the elder's numbed body. as gentle as he was, minghao sneaked his hand up junhui's chest and rested it a few inches under his collarbones, burying his nose in the crook of junhui's neck and wetting his exposed skin with his tears.
"i-is it true?" minghao sniffled, wishing for junhui to lie once more. even if it was just to reassure him that he wouldn't go no where. however, this time he knew he couldn't make junhui do that. but with his heart aching and his chest in physical pain minghao saw no other option but to plead for what he wished to hear one last time.
even if it was just to extend junhui's time being here, minghao couldn't let go of what they had.
"it is.." junhui sighed, managing to bend his neck the slightest as he pressed a kiss against minghao's forehead. "..i'm sorry hao."
"no. no. no. you can't go." minghao choked out, clawing his fingers in the fabric of junhui's shirt as if he tried to stop him from going. though he knew a little too well that it would be of no use, as junhui's body could hardly move and he would be dragged out by doctors in about an hour anyhow. it was completely out of minghao's power.
"i don't think i have a choice." junhui forced out a chuckle, being followed by a series of coughs. "i would stay if i could."
"i don't want you to go.." minghao broke down in heartbreaking sobbing, his cries of agony echoing against the wooden walls. "if you go th-that means i.. i won't ever see you a-again.. i can't l-lose you.."
tears started brimming in the corners of junhui's eyes the more minghao spoke, the rising lump in his throat forcing a sob out as well. with his heart clenching inside his chest junhui looked down at the pained minghao, wishing he could touch and calm him like how he always used to.
"w-what about.. your apartment.. and the fr-fridge.. or the little magnet we b-bought.. didn't we plan on buying way m-more.. and we only took a-a few photo's..." minghao continued, having junhui crying at this point as well. "where s..should i go if i can't come h-home with you.."
"there's plenty of places hao.. i just wish things were different.." junhui managed to bring out through his difficulties of speaking and the lump that blocked his throat. "we should have met under different circumstances."
"b..but i don't regret meeting you at all.." minghao sobbed, holding onto junhui's fragile body now the realization dawned upon him that there was nothing he could do about junhui's departure.
"i don't regret meeting you either, hao. and i don't think i ever will. meeting you has been the best thing that has ever happened to me." junhui silently sobbed out, finding it hard to keep talking in his current physical state. "you've always been by my side, even when i asked you for nothing. my own parents never even contacted me through all this misery.. i bet they're way too busy with their company back in china. heck, i don't think they know their son is dying."
never had minghao heard a word about junhui's parents before. thus finally he seemed to understand why. they've abandoned him and left junhui with no reason to mention them at all. his undying optimism had all been based off his amazing friends and his need to comfort those around him, rather than himself.
"t..they don't know about you being here..?" minghao carefully asked, wanting to reassure junhui once more.
"i haven't spoken to them in years." junhui admitted. "i don't think they know.. i don't even think they have it in them to care about it.."
junhui never asked for much, yet it was the first time minghao saw some sense of weakness within the boy. he didn't ask for reassurance nor wished for minghao to do something about his mental and physical pain. however, minghao tried giving him all of him now it was the last time they were together.
"i'm sorry to hear that jun.." minghao breathed out, littering a couple small kisses over junhui's cheek.
"you shouldn't apologize for them hao." with all the strength he had left junhui chuckled, pressing another kiss against minghao's forehead as far as his body allowed him to. "it's like i said.. i found you, didn't i?"
"but you promised you wouldn't leave.." minghao pleaded, starting to sob in unison with junhui all over again.
"i know.. and i'm sorry for making all those empty promises." junhui whispered. "just know that i have never regret a thing of all the things we've done together."
"i don't regret a thing either." minghao choked out.
"let me make one last promise hao." junhui said, wanting to give minghao one last sense of hope. "i promise that one day we'll be dancing together again. just you wait."
no more words were spoken beside the sweet little nothings they always used to say to each other, reveling in each other's company for the last time. their last hour was without a doubt the most intimate moment they had ever spend together.
and their last as well.
