"i have given dorothy a lecture so minghao is in good hands, please don't worry too much about his well-being. now junhui, could you explain what exactly has happened between you and minghao."
it was unlike junhui to lose all sense of optimism. yet here he was, sitting in front of a steaming cup of hot coco as the clock was nearing midnight. the room was only poorly lit in a yellow hue from the light bulb above the dining table. meanwhile, junhui stared blankly at the wooden surface, occasionally swallowing away the rising lump in his throat and putting in all his effort to not burst out into tears.
"we kissed." a wavering was heard in junhui's voice, not daring to look up at doc in front of him. even when doc radiated his usual friendliness, junhui seemed to be intimidated by his presence, making it hard for him to speak free. "it all happened so fast.."
a silence dawned upon the two occupants around the table, the other male doctor who didn't seem as grumpy as usual overhearing their conversation from the other side of the room. "take your time, junhui. we have all night to discuss about this and i won't judge you for whatever has happened earlier."
junhui swallowed again, finding the courage to speak. "minghao visits my room more often because it's nice to have a conversation without anyone around to interfere. and i think it was because we had such an amazing day today that he asked me to cuddle.."
"it was all perfect and he seemed to be so comfortable. i'd almost say he initiated the kiss by himself since he was the one to lean up and come near my face. but i want to take all responsibility for this situation because i've been the one to kiss him without asking for his consent." with those words a stray tear escaped his eye. even if it was just a singular one, doc was able to tell how much pain the situation had caused to junhui as he wasn't one to lose his optimism.
"all i had to do was just ask if i was allowed to.. it wouldn't have happened this way." junhui put the full blame on himself, staring up at the ceiling with his jaw tightened, scared to drop any more tears. showing his vulnerable side had always been difficult to him since he preferred to be his bubbly self around others, yet he couldn't help but to feel sorry for the situation he had created.
"and then he just pushed me out of a sudden and fell off the bed. all i can remember is how my entire body went numb because of the look his eyes held. he seemed to be so.. scared of me. while he was constantly calling out my name. i don't think he was able to recognize me.." junhui sighed, harshly wiping away the few other tears that had rolled down his cheeks, giving doc a sad smile. "that's what happened from my experience."
for a moment they remained silent, doc returning his gaze with a sad smile. yet junhui was glad the adult remained neutral and hadn't shown any sense of compassion, as it would only make junhui feel worse.
"i think neither of you is to blame for what happened just now. i don't think you're one to force minghao to do something against his own will, and minghao can't help his sudden blackouts and panic attacks. if it really was that case, minghao indeed isn't able to recognize anything around him." doc sighs, resting a hand on his balding scalp. "i personally think you're the one who knows him better than anyone."
"and that's why i regret forgetting to ask for his permission.." junhui took a sip from his hot chocolate, allowing the hot substance to wash away the lump in his throat.
"junhui?" without hesitance junhui put his mug back down, averting his gaze to the staircase where he had heard a familiar voice.
minghao had come downstairs, trailed by the two doctors who must've had another session with him just now. his cheeks were red and his eye bags were swollen, figuring he had cried quite a lot after their little incident. yet even when he had seemed so panicked just a short twenty minutes ago, minghao didn't waste any time to rush over to junhui.
in his hurry to get up, junhui almost threw back his chair as he captured minghao in his vulnerable state right inside his arms, holding him tightly up against his chest. "hey, it's okay now.. junhui's here.." junhui purposely said his own name, remembering how minghao had said that it gave him a certain affirmation and a sense of safety.
"they told me about what happened." minghao whispered, inaudible for the doctors to hear. it was their little moment in the middle of the living room, therefore none of the adults their business. "sorry jun.."
"there's nothing to be sorry about haohao." junhui gave him a reassuring chuckle, refusing to release his grip when minghao seemed to tighten his arms around his torso. "i think i should apologize for not asking for your permission."
"i don't want you to apologize." minghao whispered, nuzzling his nose closer in the crook of junhui's neck. as if he tried to tell that it really wasn't any of junhui's fault, and he was okay with it.
it was minghao who leaned back from the hug first, remaining close to junhui and staring up at him with a small yet genuine smile. it was also minghao who brought both his hands up to cup junhui's cheeks, noticing junhui's look of sadness and wanting to give him the same reassurance he had been giving minghao all along.
for a mere second they got lost in each other's eyes, forgetting the existence of the doctors that surrounded them, being far too caught up in their own little world to even care. growing impatient of the close proximity, minghao tiptoed and pressed his lips against junhui's, closing the distance and feeling relieve and safety washing over him.
unlike earlier, he was able to focus on junhui and he remained calm. the moment didn't last long when minghao stood with his feet flat on the ground again, unlocking their lips and fluttering his lashes open, finding junhui with a blush and a genuine smile spread across his face.
minghao refused to let go of junhui's cheeks, especially once junhui gently wrapped his fingers around his left wrist and pressed a small kiss against his palm, leaving their eyes locked. "i feel really happy right now." junhui said, relieved that it had turned out better than he expected it to be in the end.
"i do too, hui. i do too."
