But to love is to live. (Criminal Minds)

XXXIII. Morning Sickness

Emily and JJ woke up to the sound of someone throwing up down the hall. The mothers quickly stood up going to the source of the noise. There sat Grace her had in the porcelain toilet while Declan held her hair back. JJ and Emily shared a worried look. Grace hadn't thrown up in several minutes. When Grace stood Declan spun her around making her lean onto the bathroom sink. "Dee stop, I'm fine." Grace wined

"Roselyn Grace do not fight," JJ said sternly.

The mothers stood anxious as their son looked over Grace. Declan said "It could be stress or it could be... uhm... she could be-"

"Out with it Declan." Emily snapped

"She could be pregnant."

Grace quickly paled, turning the toilet she vomited again. JJ and Emily looked at one another pale-faced. JJ stuttered "No. When they did the rape kit-"

"I know Mom. These things do happen... let's just have her take a test."

Emily left coming back with a box of pregnancy tests. JJ eyed them. Emily shot her a look that said 'I will tell you later.' JJ pushed every scenario that would lead to her very not pregnant wife having a pregnancy test. Emily slipped one out placing it on the counter. Grace eyed it terrified. JJ put her hand on Grace's back "Do you want one of us to stay?"

Grace shook her head letting out a barely audible "No."

The three stepped out of the room. Leaning against the wall. Each of them unsure of what to say. Four painful minutes passed and Grace had yet to reappear. JJ went and knocked on the door. When she got no response she generally opened it. Grace was standing in the middle of the bathroom staring down at the pregnancy test. JJ swallowed the emotions in her best she could "What does it say?"

Grace looked at her, tears in her eyes "I dont know. I'm too scared to look."

JJ walked over to her daughter gently holding her hand out. "Let me."

Grace handed it over. JJ slowly turned it over letting out a huge sigh she pulled Grace into her arms "It's negative." She kissed Grace's head, repeating "It's negative."

Emily and Declan both felt a flood of relief joining in on the hug.

That night Emily walked down the hall looking into her daughter's room she saw Grace standing in nothing but a sweatshirt and underwear looking at the "M" carved in her hip. Emily knew that look, she had been there before. In paris she often found herself looking at her branding. Even now as she watched her daughter, her hand couldn't help but move up to the scar on the left side of her chest. She walked up unbuttoning the top part of her shirt. She walked behind Grace so Grace could see her in the mirror. Emily showed her scar saying "This makes you strong. These scars tell us where we have been, not where we are going. Scars tell our story, our triumphs."

Grace nodded with tears in her eyes "Why does it still hurt?"

"Baby I can raddle on and on about the psychology of it but it boils down to the pain in your heart translating to your scar."

Grace said "Can I do this tomorrow? The trial."

Emily grabbed her daughter's shoulders leading her to the bed. "Sit."

Grace sat as Emily came and laid beside her pulling her down. "You are the strongest, most beautiful, badass chick I have ever met. You are going to do fine and if you aren't you have me, Mom, and the whole team ready to back you up."

"Is Granny going to be there?"

"She is."

"What about-?'

"No angel. They won't."

"Are they still mad at me Mama?"

"No baby bird. They are just processing."

"Promise."

"Always."

Fifteen minutes later JJ walked upstairs to see her daughter sleeping safely in her wife's strong arms. JJ smiled watching them. For one of the first times in a long time, Grace looked at peace. She knew that would likely change but she basked in the fact that right then, at that moment she was at peace. JJ walked around the bed grabbing the blanket at the end of the bed and threw it across the two. She looked up the smile leaving her pips when she saw her daughter's trial dress. Tomorrow was going to suck.

JJ was laying in bed when the door slowly opened. Emily slowly walked in rubbing her eyes. Stripping off her pants, shirt, and bra she walked over putting on an oversized t-shirt before crawling into bed. JJ put her book down saying "Care to tell me why you had a pregnancy test?"

Emily turned to her "I keep them in stock."

"Why? I can't exactly do that to you."

Emily laughed "Oh baby I know but we do have younger friends and I like to have them that way if they are ever needed we have them. And I thought Abigail was pregnant a few months ago so I picked a few up. She's not by the way!"

JJ kissed her wife "I love you."

When they pulled apart there was a knock on the door "Come in."

Grace peeked her head in. "Could I maybe-"

JJ and Emily scooted over. JJ patted the mattress "Come on baby."

Grace walked up crawling from the end up the middle. Once she was under the covers her Moms moved closer. JJ ran her hand through Grace's hair as she drifted off to sleep.

Emily looked down at her daughter. "You remember in Pairs when she would sleep between the two of us."

"She was so small."

"So small, so perfect."

"Now she's big and perfect."

"Gah, she's so big now. What are we going to do when she graduates next year?"

JJ groaned "Emily please don't mention that."

Sorry baby."

"It's okay."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight my love.