But to love is to live. (Criminal Minds)

XXV. Suffocation

A/N: ⚠️Sexual Assult, Eating Disorder, Rape⚠️

Grace was sitting on the couch, her knees drawn close. She was in sweatpants and a shirt. Her hair was up in a bun, large dark circles were under her eyes showing her lack of sleep and the prevalence of constant nightmares. Grace was two days out of the hospital one of her Moms was always against her something she craved and loved. Right now JJ was beside her racking her nails up and down her daughter's spine. Grace shifted onto her Mothers chest as the two laid down on the couch. She winced a little as she tried to get comfortable. Grace was healing but  JJ kissed the top of Grace's head "Sleep."

Something that used to be so easy for the young girl now seems like her biggest challenge of all. Every time she closed her eyes she was plagued with nightmares. Grace focused on her Mom's heartbeat and breathing as sleep took over. She woke up an hour later to loud laughing Grace groggily let her eyes open seeing Tara, Garcia, Emily, and JJ. Girls night how could she forget? It was her favorite day of the week. She sleepily looked around before burying her head further into JJ. JJ laughed gently working out the knots in her daughter's hair "Well hello my baby bird."

Grace grunted before slowly lifting her head. They all smiled back at her. She offered her own gentle smile saying "Im going to go shower."

JJ nodded "Okay babe."

They all watched as she left the the room Garcia turned to the Moms "How is she?"

JJ ran her hands down her face and thighs. "She's doing as well as what's expected she's terrified, she doesn't sleep, barely eats."

Tara and Garcia looked at her with sad eyes Tara said "Well if she's anything like her Mom's she will be back in no time."

Garcia said, "She is exactly like her Moms!"

After a while, the conversation continued but Emily and JJ kept exchanging looks. Their daughter should be back. Emily and JJ stood saying "We are going to go check on her." The two nodded as the mothers quickly stood walking toward the stairs.

When they got upstairs the door was closed but the shower wasn't on. Emily knocked. No response. She knocked harder. No response. "Grace."

"Grace it's Mom and Mama."

"Grace!"

Emily looked over at JJ. JJ nodded shortly giving Emily permission to do anything she needed to do to get in. When Emily opened the door they saw Grace shaking on the bathroom floor naked in the middle of an intense panic attack. JJ and Emily slowly and carefully moved towards her. JJ reached out to touch her daughter but Grace just screamed. Tears formed in JJ and Emily's eyes as they sat helplessly. Grace started clawing at her neck where the bruised handprints are trying to remove the hands that were no longer there. Grace was declining fast Emily and JJ had to work fast or Grace would pass out. Emily sat beside her daughter. "Grace. Grace, can you hear me?"

Grace looked at her Mama terrified Emily said "I'm going to pull you into my lap."

Emily delicately pulled her daughter into her lap stroking her head, not caring she was getting soaked. "Grace five things you can see."

Grace looked at her in wonder. 

Emily said, "Grace name me five things you can see."

"Uhm you, Mom, the toilet, my towel, the soap."

"Good baby girl. Four things you can touch.'

Grace reached up "You, the rug, the cabinets, and the tiles."

Emily smiled gently, "Three things you can hear."

Grace cuddled into her Mama "Your heartbeat, the water in the pumps, the music in the living room."

Emily kissed the top of her head "Two things you can smell."

"You and Mom."

"And one thing you can taste."

Grace closed her eyes, smiling softly "tacos."

Emily smiled "Do you want tacos for dinner?"

Grace looked up at Emily with those sweet blue doe eyes. Emily laughed gently, kissing her head. "Of course."

Emily and Grace made no effort to move. Grace just cuddled into her Mama not caring that she was completely naked. Emily didn't care that she was wet. All she cared about was the weight of her daughter leaning into her. Eventually, Grace's breath evened out. Emily rose to her feet keeping Grace in her arms. Emily and JJ moved into the master room JJ went and grabbed some clothes for Grace. The two worked as a team to dress her without waking her. Once she was tucked in and sleeping soundly they made their way downstairs. Garcia and Tara looked at the two with sad eyes Emily and JJ sat on the couch cuddling into each other needing comfort. The group started talking JJ and Emily engaging but not really listening. At one point Emily leaned down whispering "She's going to be okay."

JJ looked up at her with sad eyes "Will she?"

Emily kissed her head "I promise."

Emily prayed and prayed and prayed this wouldn't be the promise she broke. Twenty minutes later Grace groggily walked down the stairs going towards the couch she climbed up wrapping her arms around JJs torso putting her legs on Emily's lap falling back asleep. The other four women in the room looked down at the girl laughing gently.

A/N: How are you guys feeling about this? The last chapter isn't doing as well as some of my others so I just want to gauge how you guys are feeling. It's definitely going to get good so please stay!