haikyuu x reader oneshots

✶ 15: kuroo - white ferrari

"i can't remember the last time we kissed." kuroo tells you, his voice quiet, as if he regret even saying anything at all.

he stands by your front door, sweat falling from his forehead and you sigh, figuring he must've walked, maybe ran, all the way from his house to yours.

it was 9 in the evening, your household almost having gone to bed if it wasn't for the incessant knocking on the door — you opened it, and you wished you hadn't.

you weren't really expecting visitors tonight, especially your ex-boyfriend, but it was cold, and he looked worried, and you never did have the heart to ever say no to him.

you look at him, frowning, "come inside."

when kuroo thinks of you, he doesn't think of the bad things. he doesn't think of the arguments, the jealousy, the heartbreak, no, he doesn't think of any of that, instead, when he thinks of you, he thinks of young love.

the two of you were never perfect, far from it actually, but even then, there was still warmth, and he understood that mattered more than anything else.

your relationship was real, it had ups and downs, fights and yelling, and so much disagreement. it completely contrasted the idea of high school sweethearts, but, in a way, kuroo knows, and so do you, that it was still young love.

kuroo stands by your door frame, grateful that you asked him inside, and he keeps his glance fixed on you as you tried everything but to look at him.

"are you okay?" you ask him, quick with your words.

he nods, gazing, and he tries his best to keep his voice calm, "i'm sorry for coming here, but i just can't sleep, and — and i can't remember,"

"the last time we kissed," you finish his sentence for him, glancing as he gives you a weak smile, and you sigh, "i heard."

kuroo sees you think, hesitate, wonder how you should reply or tell him off. he knows you want to kick him out, but he's happy you don't.

your relationship with kuroo wasn't perfect. it was realistic. it had so much mistakes, and with it just as much love.

he thinks, the way he always does when he can't bring himself to sleep, that if he was given a chance to try again, he would be so much kinder with you— so much gentler.

the relationship he thinks of isn't the one filled with arguments and tears, instead he thinks of the times you picked him up in his letterman and the two of you made out on the hood of his car, he thinks of slow dancing in the dark of his room as you insisted on celebrating the littlest bit of rain, he thinks of your smile, and your love, and how it never failed to make him happy.

he thinks of the kindness the two of you invented together— he loved you completely, and you loved him the same.

it just wasn't enough.

and now he's stuck banging at your door, trying so hard just to remember when he last kissed you. really, it made him sick to his stomach. this all felt so wrong — so unfair.

you smile, "why don't you remember?" joking.

he's happy you say that in the tone that you did, clearing few parts of the air so thick that it hurt to breathe. he smiles - almost laughs.

he's honest with you, "i didn't think it'd be the last."

he kissed you casually, like it was part of his day. something he didn't have to constantly remember seeing that he'd always have more of it.

he kissed you like a habit, so used to it, so accustomed to the idea of getting to have you around to kiss, to hold, to be with, for more than forever.

he kissed you like he'd always have the chance to kiss you.

you look at him finally, lips threatening to fall in a frown, but you try your best to stop it, it wasn't the time to be carried away with your emotions.

you say, voice quiet, "go home, tetsurou."

he doesn't want to. he wants to apologize, ask for another chance — beg, grovel, anything as long as he could have you back — but he knows better, and he hates that he does, so he doesn't.

"i miss you." he tells you, the last things he say as he turns to walk away. he hears you open your mouth to say something and he wishes to everything he's ever believed in that you would.

but you don't. you don't tell him you miss him back, and you don't ask him to stay.

kuroo knows you better than anyone, he was your best friend and you were his. he was your soulmate, your one, the single person you'd give an arm and a leg to — and he knows, he knows what it would mean if you tell him to stay, he knows that if you gave him another chance out of the wrong reasons, it'd just worsen the relationship you already had now.

and you wouldn't do that, you wouldn't be so selfish to ruin him and his idea of you more than you already had by agreeing to date him in the first place.

he takes your silence with a grain of salt, forcing down the bitter pill to swallow, and he knows — he hates that he does — that this way young love too.

maybe it's best he doesn't remember.