Chapter 16
Published: 12/25/2020
Merry Christmas!
Draco watched Harry's eyes lower, and he shook his head. "I'm not brave anymore. I'm afraid to eat in the lunchroom... I'm afraid to leave my house... I'm even afraid of telling Ron and Hermione what happened. To see the looks of pity on their faces. I can't stand it. I... covered up what happened, Draco. Broke the law to do it, and lied to anyone for five years! I can't even...."
"Harry!" Draco growled, and he stopped crying. "You are brave. You still come here, every day, don't you?"
Harry's mouth popped open slightly and he nodded.
"Just because you're afraid, doesn't make you a coward. You're facing your fears every day to come help people, including convicted ex-Death Eaters. You do it for nothing, just to help them heal. Tell me, Potter. Why did you agree to take me as your patient?"
"Well, I didn't know it was you. I didn't look at the name... I saw your scan. I just wanted to take away your pain."
"That didn't change even after you knew it was me."
"Yeah... I knew how much pain you were in. That you couldn't walk, your muscles... your arms and legs. I couldn't leave you like that. I knew I could heal you, and I had to."
"And you did, Harry. Even after everything I've done to you and your friends. You still healed me. You smiled at me. Asked for permission to touch me every time. You treated me like a person, not the scum I am."
"You're not scum!"
"Your friend, Natalie, seemed to disagree."
"She changed her mind."
"My p-parole officers?"
"They're dicks."
Draco gave him a look. "Your mates?"
"I can't talk about you... to them. They only brought it up because of the parole office thing and I swear I didn't talk about anything else, Draco!" Harry said in a rush, trembling.
Draco's eyes narrowed. What did he mean? Was Harry protecting me that much... and was scared about my response? he thought. Shit. Stupid martyr for cause Gryffindor. He sighed. Harry had worked himself up into a frenzy about this and was now looking guilty about it. Salazar-only-knows how many panic attacks he held over this issue.
"Harry, I give you permission to talk about my medical information to Weasley and Granger."
Harry jerked his head up. "Draco, you don't have to do that."
"You're upset, Harry. I don't want you to be hurt over this. It's giving you anxiety."
"That's not a valid reason to get that kind of permission!"
"I gave it, Harry. Do with it, what you will."
"I don't want to betray you, Draco. That's more important to me than the healer's code. I didn't want anyone to know what I've been through."
Draco sighed, again. Gryffindors are way too literal. "Harry... surely you don't have to tell them everything. I'm sure a basic rundown of my injuries would suffice."
"Oh... yeah... right."
"They can guess the other stuff. You three do-gooders aren't exactly the sort to rub my face in it... maybe Weasley."
"No... Ron's... supportive. He gave me your file..." Harry began and then clapped his hand over his mouth. "Shit."
His file. His Ministry file. Harry was looking him up. The Chosen One was predictable. He obsessed. He saw evil and injustice, and he would fight it with all that he had.
"You're going after Azkaban, aren't you?" Draco murmured.
Harry swallowed nervously. "I-I didn't tell them what happened. J-Just to... look."
Draco stared at him and grimaced. He looked to the wall.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," Harry pleaded. "I just... couldn't... ignore it. I know I don't have the right, not without your permission. But... it's not just you, is it? Your dad... died in there. I mean, he was a bastard, but still. I'm sorry, if I...betrayed your trust."
Draco took a deep breath. Harry loved the guilt, didn't he? "It's fine, Harry. I'm not mad. I'm a criminal, after all."
"Don't... no one even deserves a second of that," Harry mumbled, picking at his blanket.
"Harry... look at me," he ordered and he did. "There's no proof. There are no eyewitnesses, and no one is going to care. No one but you. Let it go. It's not worth fighting for."
"It is, Draco!"
"Harry...."
"No. They shouldn't have done what they did. It was beyond cruel. It was torture! You can tell me not to reveal your information, but I can still investigate it."
"First... you aren't an Auror. Second... it's a little lofty to try to convict my attackers, when you..." he stopped before he completed the sentence, but Harry understood it.
He blushed. "Maybe. But he's locked up. He's in prison."
"Do you feel any better?" Draco asked.
Harry looked at him and nodded. "A little. I can live with myself. That no one else has to go through that pain and humiliation."
Draco thought about it, and that would make sense to a Gryffindor. He had been thinking of his peace of mind. "Okay. But we're still back to the original point I made. There's no proof, and no one cares about what happens to Death Eaters serving life."
Harry looked at him and said, "I do. I wouldn't want you or your father to go through this. I know people in there. That guy who hurt me is in there."
"And you wouldn't want him to suffer?" Draco asked. He sure as hell was glad the guards did torture him. He knew that they did.
But Harry looked at him and Draco could read his eyes and mind without difficulty. He was as honest as anyone could be. "No. I wouldn't."
Draco considered that and nodded. "That's why you're the hero and I have this, I suppose," he murmured as he held up his faded mark.
"No, you got that because a half-dead lunatic wanted to take over the world. I know you didn't take it willingly."
Draco's head jerked up. "How do you know that?"
"I was there... at the Tower. Invisible and frozen. I heard you talk to Dumbledore. I heard you say that Voldemort was going to kill you and your parents. I saw you lower your wand, Draco."
Draco's mouth opened slightly, and he shut it and looked to the wall. It was safe. He hadn't counted on that. "I was... punishment for my father's screw up at the Ministry. I was supposed to fail and die for it. I knew it, and my mum knew it. The Dark Lord said as much as he tortured me and branded me like a steer. But I didn't fail."
"And you still didn't kill Dumbledore."
Draco's eyes watered.
"Cause you're not a killer... or a Death Eater. And you didn't deserve any of this. I should have fought harder for you."
"Don't, Potter. You fought harder than anyone would. Don't blame yourself. It was my fault Dumbledore died."
"He was already dying."
"I remember you said that, in the Great Hall... and in court. But Harry... setting up someone to be killed prematurely, is still murder. Or an accessory to murder. I still committed that crime when I was of age. I almost killed Weasley and Bell. I used the Imperius and Cruciatus curses. Harry, you can't sugar-coat that. I earned my years in prison."
"Not this, though. Not that torture," Harry whispered. "Please... let me do this. Let me stop the abuse. Stop them from getting away from it."
"I'm not testifying. I can barely talk to you. If they're there..." Draco whispered and tightened up. His eyes watered, and he was losing the fight in his mind. Control it, he thought and beat back the agony in his mind. He met Harry's soft, beautiful eyes.
"I won't let them hurt you, again," Harry vowed. His voice was strong, just like at the battle, when he stood up against pure evil.
Draco looked into his eyes and found the courage to nod. "Okay."
"Okay?" Harry said, unsure.
"You can go after them."
"Are you sure? I can't guarantee... that people won't find out, what they did."
"I hardly think that my reputation could get worse."
"People can be cruel."
Draco looked at him, and Harry wouldn't meet his eyes. He met one of those people. "I know. You have my blessings. If you really need it."
Harry nodded. "Thank you. I should go. I can't sleep here, again. If people find out... I could lose my healer license, and you'd be sent over to Mental Health."
Draco glowered. He liked cuddling with Harry. He was as innocent and loving as they come. He was warm... and tender. Forbidden fruit, though. He'll at least get Harry's hands.
"Well let's get your potions to you." He brought them over and handed them to him.
Draco drank them, obediently, and kind of enjoying the numbing of the pain potion.
"I'll be back in the morning," Harry said, and Draco, maybe loosened up by the potions, called out to him. Harry turned back. "Yeah?"
"Harry... you should tell Granger and Weasley... what happened to you."
Harry looked horrified and shook his head.
"You can do it, Harry. I know they're your family, and you need them to help you feel comfortable, not trigger you with random comments that they don't see an issue with."
"But... I don't want them to know. They'll look at me with pity."
"For a while, sure. I'm sure they look at you with pity now. I can even tell you drink too much. But they'll also support you. I can't be your only person. What if something happens to me?"
"Like what?" Harry said, almost inaudibly.
"I could get locked in my head, Harry. That's how I survive," Draco responded and looked at the wall.
Harry made some noises and sniffled, and Draco glanced back at him. His head was bowed down, and he was looking shattered. He needed help, comfort and, most importantly, his friends. He hoped Harry would let them in. Draco wasn't exactly stable either. Harry couldn't get better with just him.
"Harry... I'll be here when you come tomorrow, get some rest."
"You, too, Draco," Harry said, quietly and walked out the door.
Nights were always difficult. Harry's telly helped. It was something to distract from the memories. Watching the muggle news was entertaining and their mini thirty-second shows. He saw a government warning against fly-tipping and was very confused about why muggles would do that to their neighborhood.
It was nearly midnight, and the bed check came. The warden poked her head in. He looked at the wall. He never knew who would be mad about eye contact, though he understood it was conditioned into him by his guards at Azkaban. Habits are hard to break.
She came over. She was the only one who checked on him. Cass, she called herself. The other wardens wanted nothing to do with him. He heard plenty of them complain about his presence before he was transferred to Harry. He didn't dare to make even glance at her. He cinched his arms to his chest, grateful for that comfort, at least.
"So, he's not here, tonight? But don't worry, love. I watch out for him and you. The others don't see it, but he's coming back to life. He was getting bad, too. He would walk in the front door every day, avoid everyone and hide in his office, until you came along. So, take care of him. Don't think he's invincible. I don't think he can survive another hit," she said, quietly, not expecting a response and left him alone.
He slowly cleared his mind, which took an abnormally long time, and went to sleep, or just the edge of his dream state. He didn't need to wake up screaming. He floated in and out of consciousness, until he heard the door open and turned to see Harry beaming at him. It was a great way to start the day.
***
"Good morning! How are you?" he said, and Draco didn't say anything until the door closed. He didn't talk when Joel or Natalie might come in.
"Okay... stiff."
"Right... I've been neglecting my massages the last two nights. My apologies. How about a nice massage during our morning session?"
"Well, you don't have to ask me. Please, Pottah... a massage."
Harry smirked and gave his arms, shoulders and neck a thorough rundown. Draco was groaning and moaning the whole time.
"Fucking hell, Potter. You are doing this every week for the rest of my life," Draco growled.
"Standing appointment, every Friday morning?"
"Yes."
"I'll hold you to that," Harry said, as Natalie came in with the morning potions.
"Doing okay today?" she asked.
"Are you asking Draco or me?" Harry asked as Draco was already staring at the wall.
"Well, you, I guess, about him," she said, laughing. "Leave the potions?"
"Yeah. Tell Joel I'll be out in twenty."
"Okay. What are you going to do when he's gone? Am I going to have to manage your cases, now?"
"Umm..." Harry started. "You think that they'll give me another trainee?"
"I'm sure Healer Pratt might, if he thinks it will annoy you."
"Huh... but I don't know if I'll trust anyone else like I trust Joel," Harry said, grimacing.
"Yeah, I know I'll miss him being here. He's a nice kid, but I'll tell him for you."
"He is," Harry agreed
He finished Draco's massage and gave him the potions. Then Harry headed to finish his appointments with Joel. Near lunch, they went into Harry's office.
"I think I have an answer... about the muscle damage?"
"Go ahead," Harry said, sitting down.
"None of the other scans I took showed that kind of damage, even some with muscle decay. But I found a book about... curse damage. I f-found the same markings on those scans."
"Yes?"
"The Cruciatus Curse?"
Harry nodded. "I'm afraid it's difficult to prove exactly when it happened, but there is significant healing around those marks. Older ones go back over ten years and recent damage within the year."
"Ten years? He would have been fifteen."
"I said over ten years. I'd say thirteen when it started. So, unless Slytherin House was more brutal than I thought... I'd say it happened in his home."
Joel looked at Harry. "His father?"
"Was a bastard. But you see the unique damage the curse leaves? Make sure you know how to recognize this spell, especially that one. That book you found should be able to help narrow the other curses they did to him down."
"Other curses?"
"The scan shows a lot, Joel. The more you understand, the better healer you will be."
Joel nodded. "I will continue reading it... and learning more. Thank you."
"Thank you for caring enough to listen. To want to get better."
"Harry, it's my last day."
"I know. You've been a tremendous help. I don't think I can handle eating out in the public eye today, but can I buy you lunch, at least? We can eat it here."
"That'd be great, Harry, thank you."
Natalie joined them in his office and, after Harry's afternoon appointments, he made his way back to Draco. He had moved on to Draco's hip flexor connections to his spine. He had just rolled Draco back when Joel knocked on the door.
"All done for the day?"
"Yeah. Well... you're leaving then? Thank you for everything, Joel."
"Thanks, but Harry? I was wondering... could I scan you? For training purposes...."
Harry looked at him and then made eye contact with Draco, as though needing his reassurance. He nodded. Harry sighed. No more hiding. He gave a nod to Joel, who will soon see his secrets coded onto a parchment. Joel was quick and did the scan.
"I'm sure I don't have to explain not to leave that lying around?" Harry said.
"I won't even put your name on it. Thank you for everything, Harry. I took what you taught me to heart, and I'll try to make you proud."
"You already did that Joel, good luck," Harry said and shook his hand.
"Bye, Draco. I might stop in and see you, if I get time off."
Draco's eyes flashed to Joel, briefly and nodded. Joel smiled widely at that acknowledgment. He then handed Harry a roll of parchment and said, "Here's your appointments for the next two weeks and a brief of what is wrong."
Harry smiled and shook his head. "You didn't have to do that."
"It was my honor, Healer Potter. Thank you, and I'll stop by whenever I can to help you out."
"You're welcome, Joel. Good luck... and don't worry about me. Finish your training and find what makes you happy."