- James Madison's P.O.V. -
- Modern -
Gentle patters echoed on the rooftop, my eyes landing on the ceiling of my old home. The bed that laid under me was my childhood bedroom's bed, untouched from when I was here last for Christmas. My mom had kept it tidy for me, not touching anything other than to keep it clean and make sure everything was always washed. She always loved keeping things the same, never changing much of the decor without my dad's approval. For example, when they needed a new couch, they practically collected the entire family and we all went shopping for the new couch.
I sat up and rubbed my tear-stained face, trying to rid of the sadness that kept me in the bed. I slipped from under the covers, standing and stretching. I ignored the itchiness of my eyes, traveling to the bathroom and brushing my teeth. I stayed in my pajamas, traveling downstairs to where my younger brother, William, was flipping pancakes. My sister, Sarah, was sitting at the table with her head in her hands, shaking shoulders indicating her cries continued from the night before. My other siblings were buried in the ground, the funeral for my mother being today along with the burial.
I placed a gentle on my sister's shoulder, her eyes meeting mine. She spun in her chair after catching my eyes, hugging my waist and buried her head into my chest. I pressed a gentle hand to her back, rubbing it softly to comfort her. I looked over at my brother as he flipped another pancake, sniffling as he did. I carefully peeled from my sister, letting her spin back to sit normally. I walked over to my brother, pressing a hand to his shoulder before taking over the cooking, letting him go sit down.
I flipped a pancake as another set of footsteps entered the room, my eyes meeting my non-blood-cousin, Hercules Mulligan. He and his family was close with mine, always visiting and calling all of us cousins. We thought of him as family, so he was here for moral support. He smiled weakly at me, letting me do the same back. He sat down beside Sarah, rubbing her back softly as he did so. I flipped the last pancake onto a plate, bringing it to the table where all my family sat. I placed it down before grabbing more plates and silverware. I placed down all the necessities before sitting myself. I forced my siblings to grab food, grabbing some myself before Hercules grabbed some for himself.
After eating, we gathered all the plates and Sarah took the dishes (much to the protest of all of us). We all readied for the funeral; I slipped on black pants, the same I always wore for every funeral I've been to. I slipped on a black button-up, black shoes placed on my feet with grey socks. I didn't mess with my hair that was slicked with water from the shower I took. I ignored the water that dripped from my hair, staring at myself in the mirror. I wrapped my arms around myself, closing my eyes and imagining the person I love wrapping their own arms around mine, pulling me to his chest for comfort.
"James, it's time to go," I heard a call, breaking me from my imagination. With one last glance at the mirror, I slipped my wallet in my pocket along with my phone. I traveled to where Sarah called, Hercules and William standing there in all black with my sister, also in a black outfit. I nodded to them, traveling to the car Hercules was going to drive us in. I sat in the back with my brother, Sarah taking passenger and Hercules driving. After securing the buckles, we traveled to where we were meeting with friends of our mother.
He parked the car in the parking lot. We all tore out of the vehicle, feeling the weight of this funeral resting on our shoulders. I slumped slightly forward, wanting to run back to the bed I was laying in this morning. Gently, William pressed a hand on my back and helped me grow the confidence to follow them into the funeral home. We noticed mom's friend, Janette, standing at the door. When she saw us, pity was gathered in her eyes and it made me want to leave instantly.
"It's good to see you again, Janette," I greeted politely, letting my siblings gather in the door with ease.
"You, too, dear," she smiled weakly. "I'm sorry for your loss."
"Thank you," I bowed slightly.
I was quick to leave that awkward air, following my siblings into the building. They were already in tears as we gathered in the room with the casket. My mother's gentle features were as beautiful as when we last saw her barely a few days ago. The poke dotted dress Sarah and I chose matched her clear skin, slight makeup adorning her face. Sarah practically fell onto the casket, making me wrap my arms around her as she sobbed out. William was close to crumbling, tears falling down his face, as well. I kept myself strong for my younger siblings, gathering both of them into my arms and hugging them tightly. I knew they were heartbroken from this, and I knew this sorrow will not leave for a little while.
The day continued as I placed them in chairs, letting them cry as I took the onslaught of friends apologizing for our loss. I gently thanked them, letting them move on with the satisfaction of knowing they did all they could for comfort. Hercules was supporting us, handing my siblings a water to sip on. I disregarded the water handed to me, thanking him for the gesture. I kept myself tough with slight tears only falling slowly, knowing that I will no longer see my mother in the kitchen, scooping up ice cream for dessert before dinner.
Memories flooded as I got to sit beside Hercules, our closest friend of the family, Erin, stepping forward. She spoke of how my mother would love how we gathered here together, our hearts set out to make her comforted. Gently, she spoke of memories that many could remember, laughing at the comical parts and frowning at the sad parts. We all listened intently, nodding with every methodical word she spoke of the caring person. With a wipe of the eyes, Erin glanced at the person in the casket.
"We will miss you dearly, Nelly. Rest easy, my dear friend."
With that, the people around us stood to go to the graveyard. I stayed in my seat, letting my siblings say a final goodbye in private. Erin stayed as well, those who needed to collect the casket for transport waiting outside with her command. Everyone left the building but the five of us, my siblings standing and traveling to the open casket. Gentle hands rested on my mother's arm, tears cascading down the faces of my siblings.
"I love you, Mom," Sarah whispered, caressing the smooth skin of Mom. "We will forever love you."
"Please, take care of our siblings while you're there with them," William wiped his tears with his arms, trying to hold back a hiccup.
I watched the two of them step away, letting me step forward. With no words coming from my throat, I softly pressed my hand to her face. I didn't need to speak, pressing my fingertips to her forehead. The loving touch I left was enough, making me step back from her. Erin stepped to me, pressing a hand to my shoulder for comfort. I nodded to her, letting her call in those who are transporting her.
We found our way to the graveyard, the grave already placed with the hole the size of the casket. We got there as they were able to position everything, stopping for tissues at a dollar store. We got out of the car, going over to where everyone was already gathered. The grave said many words I couldn't read without wanting to break down in tears, a gentle hand pressed into mine. Sarah stood next to me, William on my other side. I took William's hand, squeezing it for comfort.
More words from Erin were spoken before the lowering of the casket. I could feel the burning of tears flooding my eyes, letting them fall silently as my siblings fell apart next to me. I let them cry, watching as the casket was placed fully in the hole. I would not see another glimpse of my living mother, her gentle brown eyes always sparkling with positivity and playfulness. With that in my mind, I separated the hands of my siblings, gathering both of them in my arms and pulling them to my chest. Both cried softly in my arms, clinging to me for the support an older brother should give.
-
A blanket draped over my shoulder as I shoved the Mac and cheese into my mouth with a fork. I stared absentmindedly at the screen that played some show I didn't care about. The food resting in the bowl was steaming as I ate it, not caring how it burned my mouth as I ate. My anxiety pills sat in front of me, not being touched since before the funeral. I knew it was bad I wasn't taking it, but I was already feeling down from all this emotion that has been clouding my mind. I took this week off, the funeral only being three days prior. I had to return home, Erin preparing my childhood house for selling.
I ignored that thought, shoving another fork-full into my mouth. The door swung open and I didn't face it to know it was my lovely boyfriend, slipping off his shoes and dropping his briefcase at the door.
"Jemmy, how is it going?" His voice was soft from it's usual perkiness, probably scared of breaking an already broken person.
"Fine," I replied without looking, eating another fork-full of the Mac and cheese. "How was work?"
"Ugh," he groans and travels to the bedroom to change. "Awful! Hamilton was talking away like he owned the place, like usual. He kept saying how shit I am at being a lawyer, but then I would always say how he quit just to return so I practically won that battle. He kept trying to come back at me, but I ignored his rambling and talked to Washington about some online work."
"Cool," I replied lamely, placing the half finished bowl on the coffee table, no longer hungry.
"What do you think of working on some paperwork for next week, hm?" He traveled from the bedroom with his laptop resting in his arms along with a sweatshirt. "I talked to Washington about this week, so he decided to give you another week and just let you work on some paperwork instead for next week. Does that sound okay?"
"Sure," I shrugged, not caring.
He glanced at the anxiety pills before his eyes landed on the half-eaten meal. Without a word, he placed the laptop on the coffee table and gathered me into his arms, pulling me to his chest. I tried to tear from his grasp, but he pulled me to him and wouldn't let me go. "Jemmy, what's wrong? Do you need more time? I can ask Washington for more time off of work."
"N-No, I'm fine," I tried to tear away again, but his long arms trapped me further, making me spin to face him. "Tommy, let me go."
"No," he furrows his eyebrows. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing! Let me go," I huffed, resting my head on his chest.
He pressed a kiss to my head, burying his head into my hair. "James, let me know how you feel. I will support you however I can, but you have to tell me. I promise that whatever you tell me, it will stay between us and we will work together to help you."
I took a shaky breath, finally giving in to his embrace. He loosely had his arms around me, letting the silence between us rest as I gathered my thoughts. I felt a choke come from my throat, closing my eyes and burying my head into his chest. I knew tears fell down my face as I hid in his chest, letting the emotion from the funeral finally hit me in the face. I tried to speak, but inaudible words fell as I sobbed into my boyfriend's chest. He cooed into my ear, gentle words bringing me comfort as I cried.
Finally, I felt everything I needed to feel for sorrow, forgiving my mother for leaving too soon. I knew she was growing too weak to continue, but the sorrow I felt of her leaving me and my siblings alone hurt more than it should. I had only two siblings left, those two being my only family of blood. I choked out another sob and gripped onto Thomas' shirt tightly. He pressed gentle kisses to wherever he could reach, trying to comfort me in any way possible.
Crying lasted only five minutes, but it felt like hours as I finally pulled away, realizing how wet his shirt got from my tears. "I-I'm sorry, a-about your shirt."
"Oh, Jemmy, don't worry about it," he smiles sweetly, kissing my forehead and pulling me back down. "Are you feeling better now?"
"Yeah," I yawned, letting him pull me down. He laid down on the couch and placed me on top of him, my head resting against his shoulder, nose buried into his neck. "'M tired, though."
"Get some rest, Beautiful," he cooed, rubbing his hand on my back. "I'll be right here when you wake up."
-
"Tommy, where are we going?" I questioned my fiancé, his eyes on the road as he had his free hand in mine, the other on the steering wheel. "I want to know!"
"You'll see when we get there, Jems," he squeezed my hand. "Just keep your eyes closed until we get there!"
"Can't I peek?" I whimpered playfully.
"No!" He remarks with a laugh. "Just hang on, we're almost there."
I rolled my eyes under my eyelids, accepting that he won that argument. We rolled to a stop, Thomas parking the car. I heard a door open, then close. Then my door opened and I was led out of the car by gentle hands. After a little bit of walking, Tommy said, "Okay, open them."
I practically fell as I stared at the childhood house, the for sale sign gone and the porch filled with furniture. I looked over at Thomas, his smile wide as he watched me. "You didn't!"
"I did. Go inside!" He pushed me towards the door.
I ran inside and swung the door open, revealing Hercules, Aaron, Sarah, and William there, smiling brightly at me. "We bought the house," Sarah points out with a smile. "Well, Thomas bought it, but William and I will be staying here for a while until you and Thomas gather your crap from your apartment and move it here!"
"You knew about this?" I gaped at Aaron, who smiled innocently.
"Of course, he did," Thomas appears behind me, wrapping an arm around me with a smile. "We kept it secret for a whole month."
"You are shitting me," I swore, a gasp echoing through the room.
"James Madison!" Hercules scolded playfully. "No swearing!"
"Don't mom me, Hercules," I pointed a finger at him playfully, making him laugh. "Okay, so who brought the ice cream? I'm really feeling some ice cream."
"We knew you would want some," Sarah giggles, traveling to the kitchen. "Come on. I even bought cones to go with it."
"Yes!" William celebrated, bouncing off to the kitchen with a bright smile.
-
"Hi, Mom," I sat down in front of her grave, the flower pot I was holding ready to be planted. "I want you to meet my husband, Thomas. I knew you liked him when we were kids, but now he's going to be with me forever. I hope you love him as much as I do."
Thomas sat down beside me, politely smiling at the grave. "I miss seeing you, Miss Madison. I'm glad that you let us move into your home, and we will live with your memory beside us. I hope to have many kids with your son, and hopefully a dog or two."
I flushed red at the mention of kids, placing the pot down on the grass to not drop it.
"I will forever love your son, and I promise never to hurt him. He means the world to me, and I know that you will be watching over not only him, but William and Sarah, too," he spoke softly, smiling sweetly at me. "James brings happiness into my life, and I know that he deserves so much better than me, but I won't let him go as long as he stays beside me."
"Thomas," I practically cried, gently grabbing his hand and squeezing it.
"I love you, James," he whispered, kissing my cheek before turning back to the grave. "Oh, right, he brought flowers. I'll plant them for you."
Thomas took the potted flower from the grass, digging up a hole in front of the grave and planting it gently. After securing it in the dirt, he stepped back over to me and smiled softly. I stood up and dusted my pants off, smiling at the grave. "I love you, Mom. See you soon."
"It's nice seeing you again, Miss Madison," Thomas bowed politely, gathering his gardening tools before walking with me to the car.
"You know, she would definitely diss you for being too polite," I giggled.
Scoffing, he threw his tools into the trunk before shutting it. "Whatever, Jemmy. Your mom is super sweet. She would probably diss you for having such an awesome boyfriend."
I giggled at his failed words, kissing his cheek before taking the passenger seat, ignoring his sudden rambling of fixing his words, trying to fit the words into a more accurate statement.
- - -
Slight angst, slight fluff. :)
Published: 11-9-20