-Julia-
When was the last time I felt so overwhelmingly happy that I just wanted to scream and shout and let the entire world know just how incredibly happy I was?
I couldn't remember that... Had I ever felt like this?
Jordan had been out of his room twice now! Twice! He'd been in my study two times! I was almost unable to not cry in happiness from dusk till dawn. Every time I even thought about my baby boy, the emotions took over.
It was so close... He was so close! I could already see us having dinner, going out as a family, and live. Our family had not been living in years... Not the way I always pictured while expecting each of our children.
Every time the negative emotions and my guilt tried to start eating me up, I thought about Blake. My saving angel. That blessed boy who had changed this family... That wonderful man who had brought our family back to life...
I was not letting anyone take him away from me. Blake belonged with us. Once we found his biological family, and if they were good people... I was maybe able to let him go with them. Yes, I was aware of my own insanity every time I refused to even think about letting Blake go with his family, but he belonged with us. He belonged with Jordan.
I had nothing to worry about, of course. The way Blake looked at my son reassured me that he was not going anywhere. He loved Jordan. Nothing could keep him away from my boy, and it was my duty nothing could take him away. Especially the cops.
Blake was not going to prison. I would do whatever it took to fight for his freedom. Blake was innocent! He had no one to turn to! This society had failed him. No one had done anything to get him out of the streets. No one. No one had the right to put him in jail because he was only trying to survive.
Waiting for the test results was nerve-wracking. I became more and more nervous after each passing day because it was taking so long. Why was it taking so long...? I'd tried to ask my lawyer what to expect and when to expect, but he couldn't say much, and asked me to be patient.
Thankfully, I finally got something else to think about.
After getting off from work, I headed straight to that one bakery I had always wanted to visit, but never had the money for, and bought the most beautiful cake they had. I was so excited I felt like I was about to burst!
My company had finally landed a big deal with a big electronics company! The deal was so huge I'd have to hire at least two more people! If they were happy with our work, it would take the stress of finding enough clients to keep the firm running for as long as they wanted us to clean their offices!
My employees' income was finally secured...
That was also thanks to Blake. It wasn't just because his help with paperwork had given me more time to focus on other tasks. He had given me hope and energy and strength to push forward, and taken a lot of stress off my shoulders too. I'd been finally able to do so much more than just the bare minimum, and my company was finally growing.
Once I arrived at home and parked my car next to John's, I hurried in with the massive cake and went to put it down in the kitchen table. I stared at it with a wide smile on my face, just bubbling in my great emotions before I realized how quiet it was in the house.
"Is anyone home?" I called out, but no one replied. "John?"
"I'm here..." I heard his not-so-enthusiastic reply, so I followed his voice into the living room.
"What are you doing?" I asked when I spotted him sitting on the couch with a big box on his lap. I immediately recognized it as the one I stored Jordan's clocks in.
John was holding one of the clocks with a sad expression on his face. "Just... thinking," he muttered.
"About?"
"Jordan," he breathed out. "We never should've left for that trip... It ruined our family... Do you remember? You didn't want us to leave."
I let out a breath and went to sit down next to him. I took Jordan's alarm clock from the box, wiping some dust off it.
"The reason why I didn't want you to go was that I knew I'd miss you both terribly, but I wanted you to have a fun trip with your son," I told him, leaving out the fact that I had cursed him over and over again for wanting to go for years. "None of us knew what was going to happen, and there is no point in dwelling in the past anymore. Jordan is healing. He is finally returning to us."
"Not thanks to me..." he mumbled.
"John... It's time to look forward. There's nothing we can do to change the past. We can only learn from it. I have learned a lot. How about you?"
John looked at me for a good while. Then, he breathed out, and nodded. "I have learned to trust your instincts. And I have learned that our children's happiness must always come first."
"Does that mean you have accepted the fact that your son is in a loving relationship with another man and you are offering your full support?" I asked, trying to keep voice neutral, but I was still a bit upset with his behavior.
"I never had anything against gay people," he said with a bit of a scolding tone. I wasn't convinced, but since he finally seemed to accept it, I didn't push it. Instead, I let him continue.
"I just... didn't know what to think about the whole thing. Blake is a criminal."
"A criminal who had no other choice," I said sternly. "He is a sweet young man."
"He does seem to have a good heart, yes. I have learned that, too," John said, looking at the clocks. "He has done an amazing job with Jordan..."
"He has," I smiled. "He wouldn't call it a job, though."
"No, I guess not," he spoke absentmindedly. "I still can't believe he has come out of his room..."
"Twice now," I said, placing my hand on his, squeezing his fingers in excitement. "He's getting better so fast it almost scares me."
"Me too," he said, and smiled lightly. "Maybe... Maybe he can have a normal life after all."
"I know he will," I said with no doubt in my mind. "He will have everything he's ever wanted."
"I can't wait to see that," John smiled.
-Jordan-
There were so many things I wanted to do that day. I wanted to make progress. I was so eager to get out of my room again, go see my mom's study and even walk past it to see the other rooms... The need to push my limits was almost like an addiction, and I couldn't wait to get my next fix.
But there was something much more important I wanted to focus on first.
It was clear Blake was running out of strength again, so when he woke up, and his smile wasn't as bright as usual, I decided to push my own needs aside and make this day all about him. Day or a week, I'd give him as much time as he needed to regain his strength. After all, my healing process meant nothing if his beautiful smile was gone.
He'd kept saying he wasn't worried over the DNA test results, but it was obvious the long wait was stressing him out, so I wanted to give him something else to think about.
We started the day by staying in bed for a long time. We didn't talk much, and he kept nodding off a few times, so I knew he had to be tired. Making out did cheer him up, so I hoped that if I showered him with attention, it would reduce his stress. The fact that our making out didn't lead into sex made me a bit concerned, but when we finally got out of bed, he seemed to be in good spirits, nonetheless.
"So, what do you want to do today?" Blake asked once we had finished our breakfast.
I gave him a smirk and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pecking his lips. "Anything you want," I purred.
His smile grew warmer. "I'm fine with what you want to do."
"Nope, today is your day, my king," I murmured, pressing myself tightly against him when he wrapped his arms around my waist.
"That is bad for my ego," he joked.
"Your ego deserves a little boost every now and then," I winked. "So? What is it going to be? Movies? Art? Yoga...?"
He chuckled lightly and looked around for a bit, before biting his lip like there was something he wanted to do but wasn't sure if he should ask.
"What?" I encouraged him.
"Well... I kind of like doing stuff with clay..." he spoke carefully.
"You want to make dicks," I guessed, and he laughed, looking somewhere away from me.
"Maybe," he said slowly with a boyish grin.
"All right," I smiled back at him, taking his hand in mine. "Clay dicks it is."
We set up my crafting table in the corner where I usually painted. I got us a big chunk of clay and gave Blake half of it, telling him to do whatever he wanted, even if I'd end up with a room full of dicks. He did make one, chuckling at his own creation like a child, but he surprised me by starting to make something completely else after that. It had four legs, so I guessed he was making an animal, but what kind of... I was embarrassed to say I couldn't tell.
"It's looking good," I praised him while warming up another piece of clay for myself.
"It's going to be my masterpiece!" he grinned, and seeing him having fun made me happy.
"Of course! You are the grand master of clay dicks, after all," I chuckled.
I wanted to ask him what kind of animal it was, but I feared it would take away his confidence, so I decided to wait and see until it was finished.
"Does this look like a dog?" he suddenly asked, showing it to me.
"Yes, of course," I lied with a smile. "It's a lovely dog."
"It's supposed to be a cat," he chuckled.
I bit my lips together for a short second. "It's... Ah! Of course, it's a cat!"
He just laughed and looked at his masterpiece. His smile faded away a little, and I feared I had done the thing I was trying to avoid and now his mood was ruined because of it.
"I like cats," he spoke quietly, touching the clay animal's head with his finger. "Dogs are great too, but I've had to run away from them too many times."
I realized his mood didn't drop because of me, but because of all the things he had missed out on in life.
"I like cats too," I said quietly.
"They're great, right?" he asked with his eyes suddenly sparkling. "So calm and composed and elegant."
"Yeah," I smiled at him. "And they can be funny too."
"Yeah," he said, still staring at his clay statue. "I... always wanted a cat..."
My heart broke for him all over again. He always said he had loved his life as a homeless criminal, but it was moments like these when I had to wonder if he'd been only lying to himself. I was sure he really had enjoyed some aspects of his free life, but in the end, he never had any other choice.
"I can see myself adopting a cat," I told him truthfully, earning a bright smile from him – that same smile I had missed this morning.
"How about you?"
"I've always wanted a big fish tank," I said with a timid smile – I had never allowed myself to even dream about having pets. "I was too afraid to get one, though..."
"Oh! I once saw this massive fish tank in a house I... uhm..."
"Broke into?" I finished his sentence.
His smile turned awkward. "Yeah..." he muttered, rubbing his head. "The tank they had was awesome..."
"Can you picture us having one?" I asked, changing the subject.
"A fish tank? Yes! And... a kitten?" He looked timid when he spoke the last word.
"Yes," I said, feeling happy and bubbly inside. "Look at us, planning our home already..."
"The tank will be so big it'll cover the entire wall," he smiled widely, pointing somewhere in front of us like we were already standing in that house. He placed another hand on my back as he continued, "We'll get all the fish you want."
"And kittens," I smiled at him.
"And kittens," he smirked, and kissed me.
*****
We spent a few hours playing with clay and talking about our future home. We jokingly talked about indoor pools and a collection of motorcycles, and everything else a human could possibly want. In our fantasies, the house was a mansion and we'd be the richest people on earth. It was fun, but what I enjoyed more was the talks about an actual home, a simple little house in a peaceful area.
I enjoyed it more because it was realistic, something I could actually have. What we both could have. I felt warm and fuzzy long after we changed the subject. A little home for the two of us... I couldn't wait. Even the thought of it nearly drove me to rush out the door and push past all the limits I had just so I could have that as soon as possible, but the day was not yet over.
The day of my king.
"I have something special for you," I informed Blake after stepping out of the bathroom, where I had spent several moments cleaning the bathtub.
I had never used it because of my fear of drowning, but now it was about time someone used it. The warm water was already running, and I had a bottle of bubble bath I once got as a gift but never used waiting for him.
"Hmm?" Blake lifted his eyes off his finished clay kitten he had painted black before putting it into the oven.
"Come," I smiled, gesturing at him to take my hand.
When he did, I led him into the bathroom, where he stopped to stare at my bathtub.
"What's this?" he chuckled.
"A warm bath for you to relax in," I purred.
"You're spoiling me too much," he said.
"You deserve it," I muttered truthfully.
He had a warm smile on his lips as he stared at me for a moment. Then, he glanced at the bathtub, and the smile started to fade.
"You've never used it," he said quietly.
I shook my head slowly. "It's... I'm afraid of it."
"Is this all right? I don't want you to be uncomfortable..." he said – of course he'd be worried about me.
"I'm not uncomfortable," I said reassuringly. "It's not triggering me if you use it."
"Well... if you're sure..." he mumbled, and his smile was returning. "I've never been in a bath before."
"Really?" I frowned.
"Never had the opportunity," he shrugged, taking his shirt off.
"Well, now you do," I smiled, my eyes traveling down on his body.
I didn't look away when he started undressing his pants. When he was completely naked, I touched his chest, letting my hand slide down on his body, trying not to turn things sexual. He placed his hand on mine, and when I looked up at him, he kissed the back of my palm, then my lips.
"I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too," I replied. "The bath is ready."
He seemed reluctant to let go of me when he climbed into the bath. I kneeled next to it, leaning against the edge while he found a comfortable spot for himself.
"How is it?" I asked after he let out a content sigh.
"I can see myself getting used to this," he chuckled.
"Good," I smiled. "I feel so bad for not using it..."
"Don't," he said gently. "You can't help it."
"Yeah..." I murmured, touching the surface of the warm water. "I want to try it, but not today. This day all about you," I told him with a smile.
"You know don't have to give special days or anything," he said, but I could tell he was secretly pleased. "You need special days too."
"These are special days for me," I said reassuringly, my fingers tracing over his collarbone. "My head stays silent when I focus on taking care of you, you see. It's like having a day off from all the constant nagging and need to push myself. And this is fun."
"Is that so," he smiled gently, placing his hand on mine.
"And I need my king in full strength," I smirked, leaning in to give him a kiss.
Because without his strength, I wouldn't be able to carry on.