I furrow my eyebrows angrily. I always try to understand the other person. But now I just don't. What the heck is wrong with him?
"It wasn't your place," Bakugou says with an angry face. He's always angry or pissed at something but now I won't just brush it off.
"Whose place was it then?"
"No one's! I fought against him, not you."
"And I fucking let you!" I say enraged. I already feel dumb enough that I let him fight alone against a villain. But he was literally begging and I knew he was just gonna block me if I intervene and this would just help him less in defending himself against the villain. But I will never do that again. And I won't let him win today.
"No, you didn't." He stands up and points his finger at me, "If you did I-"
"You would be in the hospital, right." I interrupt him because everything that would've left his mouth would've been stupid.
"I don't fucking care! It wasn-"
"I care, you egoistic moron, I care! Do you really expect me to just let that huge ass building fall on you? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
He must be suicidal. How much pride does a human being need to rather get hurt than just simply get help from their partner?
"Oh, but it can fall on you?"
"Can you harden yourself? No. I was just helping you."
"I don't need your motherfucking help. Are you saying you're stronger than me now? I'm still-"
"I didn't say shit, Bakugou. I know that you have a fantastic quirk but in some situations, it can't help you either, that's why we're partners. Why are we partners anyways if you're gonna act like a bitch every time I try to help?"
It's starting to get frustrating. Bakugou always had too much pride. It doesn't matter what the situation is he would rather die than receive any help.
"Just listen to me then. It's not that hard."
"Why won't you listen to me? I'm not your fucking dog, Bakugou."
Bakugou rolls his eyes and starts cursing under his breath.
"I don't want to work with you anymore. You turn every shit into an argument. You're worse than my mother." He says and turns around to leave the living room.
"Fuck you. You're the problem here. I thought we were friends but apparently, you just chose me because you thought I was gonna let you do whatever you want." I say and follow him.
"You should. I didn't ask for a wife the last time I checked."
"Thank the Lord. I would feel bad for her for having a husband who doesn't care one bit about his life."
He stops in the hallway and I see how he clenches his fists. I roll my eyes. If he tries to fight me today I won't let him win that easily. I can't with his bullshit anymore.
"That's right I don't, so you shouldn't too. There's just one thing in my life that fulfils me but you can't give me even that."
He is suicidal.
"Bakugou-"
"No! Shut the fuck up. I was not gonna die, so leave me alone."
"I'm just allowed to do something if you're nearly dying? A building falling on you is not close enough, huh?"
He gets on my nerves. He never thinks about how his life can influence other people. I would be devastated if something happened to Bakugou, especially if I could've done something against it.
"I fucking hate you. Just do as you're told for once."
"For once?! I always let you do your thing. And today I didn't intervene. You act like I defeated the villain, I just came to your rescue because of the building."
"I had a plan. With my new technique."
"What technique? You don't tell me shit. You have to show me your new moves so that I know what you can do and cannot." I run my fingers through my hair. I don't understand why he's like that.
"I don't need to tell you anything. I'm totally fine enough to defend myself."
I shake my head hopelessly, "I'm not..." I sigh. I don't know what to do.
"I'm not saying you can't. I'm just saying... I thought we were a team. Don't you trust me enough to fight by your side?"
"Tch. I'm gonna go, don't wait up for me."
"Where are you going?"
"None of your fucking business, shut up."
I flinch because he suddenly raised his voice. He opens the door and shuts it loudly behind him.
I sigh loudly.
Fuck him. Because of him I always feel like shit. We fight all the time. If he's not angry he's really funny and calm actually but the majority of the time we fight over the same thing. He tries to talk to me every time we fight but if it's about hero work he never tries to understand my side.
I don't care how angry he is I would've done it again. He really thinks I'm there for decoration or something.
Bakugou's pov
"Yeah, one strawberry cake with ice cream" I grumble at the cashier and put some dollars on the counter.
"Alright, take a seat and will bring it to you in a matter of minutes."
I nod and search for a place in the back of the café.
I sit down and look out the window. It started snowing yesterday. I wanted to build a snowman with Kirishima when we have enough snow in the backyard. To my surprise, he doesn't really like snow. It's not that he dislikes it but he's more of a summer person. That's why I wanted to do a bunch of things with him to make him like winter more.
But right now he gets on my nerves. I literally hate my life. Hero work is the only thing that excites me. It's the only thing where I'm sure that I will feel something inside of me. But other things like friends, family and random hobbies of mine don't make me always happy. They often irk me actually. Just like Kirishima right now. I totally understand where he's coming from. We fought a villain today and the villain destroyed some buildings around us and one of them was nearly falling on me, so he tried to help me, I would've done the same. But I specifically told him to leave this to my own and he agreed, so he better keep his promise. He was just supposed to help the citizens. I wanted it to seem like it was falling on me but I had a backup plan which would've helped me to distract the idiotic villain. He didn't know that of course but he should trust me. I'm no fucking baby.
I have always had this bent-up energy in me that I need to release and I can just feel it if I win or genuinely help someone with something important to that person.
"Your cake." A servant appears and places the plate in front of me.
"Thanks."
I look at my cake and sigh. I'll buy another one on my way back home for him.
That bitch.
I hate him.
Even though I'm angry at him he always succeeds to make me soft. I'm not fucking soft.
As I'm in motion to take a bite out of my cake, I get a message.
It's Kirishima.
From: Kiki
To: Me
"You better be home before midnight."
From: Me
To: Kiki
"Fuck you."
I still look at the time though. I curse under my breath. 11:14 pm. I could start a rebellion and just stay outside but he's gonna search me and find me. Besides that, he will call my phone as if to tell me the world is being destroyed.
From: Kiki
To: Me
"How, if you're not here?"
I roll my eyes and eat my cake. He's a fucking idiot.
I always have to wait weeks for a somewhat challenging villain. The others aren't even villains, just little disturbances. How am I supposed to leave this energy out? Kirishima never properly fights back and when I try to fight Deku everyone thinks I want to kill him and jumps in. My life is so uneventful. Or more like my brain is a little fuck that gets excited at nearly nothing. I don't even notice that I like things or persons I just feel suddenly empty when it's gone and I even needed some years to understand that feeling. Like now. I feel it again and now I know at least why. Some years ago I would've thought that I was just not feeling hungry and that's why the cake makes me feel weird. But the feeling in my stomach is because of him of course. I don't even know why he succeeds in making me feel so quickly. That's actually why I wanted to partner up with him. Yeah, he's strong but I don't care what simp would be my partner if they evoke some emotions in me as Kirishima does.
I take my phone again and call him.
"Yes?" He answers the phone rather immediately. He's worried. I don't like when he worries. Just because of that he always tries to minimise my fun.
When I don't respond, he continues talking, "Come back, alright? We don't have to talk right now. But we will. I don't care anymore. I need to understand why you act like your life has no value to anyone. But for now, you can come home and I won't say anything about it. You know I can't sleep when y'all ain't home." He says softly. But what I like when he worries is, that he's really caring. I like that. His voice feels like a safety blanket.
"You suck, because of you he went home." Denki literally lives in another city but Kirishima still wants him to tell him if he's home yet or not.
"No, I didn't. Just because he was with his friends today I didn't say anything but he came home rather early and sounded really tired."
I furrow my eyebrows slightly. Did something happen? He'll tell us tomorrow.
"Hm, ok."
"From where do you know he went home?"
"He wrote me good night."
"Hm. You know who should also say good night?"
I roll my eyes at his words but still ask, "Who?"
"You. Come back." I knew he would say that.
"Tch. Bye. Do you want something?"
"Yes."
"What?"
"You."
"Fuck, shut the fuck up. I got it." I groan.
"That's good, see you later."
I hang up and call a waiter. They come and I tell them I want my cake wrapped up and want to buy another one to go. I wait for them, pay and then leave.
When I get outside I sigh. It's actually not that cold today but still enough for me to want a scarf.
He better really not talk about it. I'm tired. I don't wanna talk about it all the time. We fight over the same thing and I know that because of me it's being pulled into length but I just want him to understand. To be honest, even though we're friends, I don't see why he even cares about me like that. It's not like as if I'm nice to him. I can be but my temperament gets in the way kinda often.
I look in front of me to not walk into a bunch of strangers. I look at some groups and I just don't understand it. How are they all happy or at least faking to be happy? If I'm not, I just ain't. Kirishima literally eats ice cream to feel better and I tried it but I don't see what the big deal is. Of course, it's tasty but that's all.
I turn into our street and when I arrive at our door, I take my keys out and quietly open the door. The lights are out, he already went to his room. I put the slices of cake in the freezer.
I get into my room and change my clothes and overall just get ready for bed. When I am, I go to Kirishima's room. I knock on the door and open it seconds after, "I'm home."
"I know." He mumbles. Just his night lamp is on but he is already wrapped in his blankets.
"Can I come in?"
"...yes."
I close the door behind me and lie down behind him. I wrap my arms around him and place my chin on his shoulder, "I'm sorry" I mumble.
"I said we don't gotta talk about it."
"I know but I want to now."
He doesn't say anything further. He probably wants to hear what I have to say.
"I don't think we should be partners anymore."
"Oh, fuck off." He says agitated and tries to distance himself from me.
"Wait, listen... I trust you to fight by my side but that's not why I wanted to be partners. I just want you near because you're the only person that evokes so many emotions in me. I love you, I think."
"You- what? Bakugou...I don't. What do you mean by love? You know that I like Denki, don't you?"
I furrow my eyebrows confused, "Yeah, so?"
"I don't feel the same for you. I feel flattered but you'll find your significant other, alright?"
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I distance myself now from him. He turns back with a pitiful expression.
"I'm not the one for you. You're an amazing friend but I don't like you like that."
"Like me like what?"
"Like a lover."
Does he mean boyfriends and shit?
"Eij, I'm not even gay."
"Are you bi or something else? No matter what I support you."
"That's sweet but that's not what I meant. I love you as my friend, idiot."
He furrows his eyebrows also confused now but then exhales loudly, "You idiot! Oh my god. I was so scared. I hope I never have to turn someone down in my life." He looks at the ceiling with his hand on his heart.
I just wait for him to calm down.
He turns his head to me eventually, "What do you mean with "I love you, I think"? I thought we were best friends, you should already with all your heart."
"I think I do. I don't know what love feels like. I just know that you're the only person that I like."
"What about Denki?"
"Yeah, I guess I like him but I wouldn't say I love him. I could say that to my dad though."
"Katsuki! What about your mom?" He says shocked.
"I love her, how you love every family member but I don't know if I really like her." I sigh.
"So, your father and I are the only persons you like and love?"
I nod.
"Damn, I feel actually appreciated. But I feel bad for your mom, I didn't expect that. You don't even seem like you feel so strongly about your father."
I just shrug my shoulders. I don't wanna talk about my parents. They just remind me how bad of a son I am.
"Anyways, I love you too." He opens his arms for me. I lie my head on his chest so he can play with my hair like he often does.
"So don't you wanna be partners anymore?"
"Why did you intervene?"
"Bakugou, I was afraid. I don't wanna lose you."
"You weren't going to. Even if you did, it wouldn't matter. I would die doing my duty."
"No, you would die being dumb because you always want to do everything on your own."
"I don't care."
He pushes me off him and sits up.
"I don't like it if you talk like that" he mumbles and looks down at me.
"It's just how I feel."
"That's selfish."
"How? I literally tell you to not fight so that you don't get hurt."
"If you die, I'll be hurt."
"That's why you should stay away."
"Not physically but mentally. It's selfish because you just want to leave me here. Even if you don't care, I care about your life, a lot, Katsuki."
"...why?"
"Because you're my best friend, my partner, if you would die something would be missing in my life. You're so young, why do you wanna die?" He asks softly and takes one hand of mine in his.
"I don't want to, it's just that I wouldn't care if I did."
"Because of that shit, I can't leave you alone. This means that you could die any time because you're not being responsible"
I look down at his hand that is on my stomach. It seems like he swipes just back and forth over my belly.
I take his hand away and slowly bring it to my face. He doesn't say anything and he doesn't do anything he just lets me do. I just play with his fingers. They're soft. At least soft for someone who does physical hero work all the time. His nails are also really clean. But he takes manicures and pedicures once a month. I don't know how but one time he succeeded that I come with him and over go his whole procedure.
I give him a kiss on the palm and directly back away when he says my name surprised.
"So-sorry." I mumble and let go of his hand.
"It's fine. I was just surprised. You never do this." He says calmly and gives me a kiss on my cheek. He's right, he kisses me from time to time but not I.
When I stay silent he jokingly says, "Are you now getting feelings for me?"
"I don't know. I feel like I want to kiss you."
"...on my lips?"
I think about it and then shake my head lightly.
"Oh ok. That's fine, you can, I kiss you too, right?"
"No" I stand up, "It feels wrong."
He quickly stands up too and holds me back.
"Bakugou." He says and cups my face between his hands, "I know what you feel. You want to hug me, right?"
I nod slightly with rosy cheeks.
He grins cheekily, "That's fine. That's why I randomly hug you so often. In some moments I feel like I need to."
"But isn't it weird for us to be so close?"
"Why?"
"Because we're guys."
"Just boys who aren't confident about themselves have these thoughts. I'm not saying that every guy should cuddle with each other but if you feel like it why would it be wrong? And we're friends anyways, for me it's normal. And we were just cuddling. Where's the difference?"
"I don't know." I guess it's the same.
"Anyways you can kiss me tomorrow, I'm tired."
He laughs pretty much afterwards and then I notice that I'm pouting.
"You're so soft sometimes. You can sleep here if you want."
"...uh-uh. Maybe later. I feel weird. Good night" I mumble. I step forward but then I step back again. I make these weird hand movements just to drop my arms again.
Kirishima laughs softly and cups my face in his hands again. He gives me a kiss on the cheek and then turns his head slightly for me to do the same.
I purse my lips slightly and press my lips against his cheek. I feel how I blush again and then pull back.
He gives me a hug and also wishes me a good night after saying, "We should talk more often like that. I don't like fighting with you."
"Me neither. It makes me sad." I mumble with my arms wrapped around him and my face buried in his shoulder.
"It does? Aww, you're so sweet. Let's not fight anymore, alright?"
"Yes. I'm sorry that I always get so angry. Can you..."
"Can I what?"
"Can we talk tomorrow about something?"
"Yeah, sure. Is everything fine?" He looks at me.
"Yeah. I'm gonna go. Good night."
"Alright, sleep well." He says and presses a kiss on my cheek again. I like when he does that. I bury my head in his shoulder again and exhale exasperated.
"Bakugou, what's up?" He chuckles when I don't let go of him after he tried to leave.
"I feel sad."
"Why?" He hugs me tightly.
"I don't know. I just do."
"Just stay with me. I'm gonna take care of you. We can talk and cuddle. Don't you want that?"
I unwrap my arms around his waist and put them around his shoulders.
Kirishima laughs softly and lays his hands on my back, caressing it softly.
"I love you."
When he says that my chest gets warmer and feels tighter. I don't know if I like the feeling.
"Stop saying that."
"Why?"
"I feel weird."
He chuckles, "I want you to feel weird. Let's go to bed." He says and pulls me to his bed.