"Hey, are you okay?" is the first thing Reece asked as I trudged into the hallway. I was surprised to see him considering it was lunch and he always seemed so busy with his job.
"I'm okay," I lied, forcing a fake smile so he couldn't see through me. He did though.
"No, you're not. Is everything okay? Was it Ben?" The panic in his tone increased as his sentence went on.
I shook my head. "No." I went to walk around him, but he grabbed my wrist, preventing me from walking any further. What was up with everyone grabbing my wrist?
"You're obviously not fine."
I exasperatedly sighed and turned to meet his eyes. "Okay, fine! It's Dean. We broke up. Happy?" I shook my arm out of grip and walked away from his shell-shocked face. He definitely didn't expect that. I was a little surprised that Dean didn't tell him.
My friends were chirpy when I reached the table. "Hey, Bells! Where's the boyfriend?" Dylan teased, slinging an arm around my shoulder.
My heart panged. I genuinely couldn't believe it was over. After all we went through, it was done.
It didn't feel real, but the pain in my heart certainly was.
I still couldn't comprehend how fast the night turned. I thought we would have a petty argument, he'd convince me to forgive him, and we'd cuddle all night. Maybe even give each other apologetic kisses. How wrong I was.
"I don't know," I responded when I noticed all eyes on me.
Emma snorted. "Well he's definitely here, so maybe he'll show. Although, he looked a little depressed in class today..." She had a thoughtful expression.
"Bella, is everything okay?" Jaz asked, reaching across the table. I slid my hand under the table, away from her reach. Her frown only deepened. "What's wrong?"
"Dean and I broke up," I said for the second time today. A small part of me believed that not acknowledging it would make it not real. But it was real and I couldn't ignore it.
There was a moment of collective silence.
"After school, we're going out. I'll meet you by your car," Dylan said in a serious tone. His change in demeanor scared me a little.
I numbly nodded. I didn't have the energy to argue right now. Company could be a good thing. Anything to keep my mind off of him.
Jasmine looked like she was fit to kill. Dylan felt tense under me too. Suddenly, I feared for Dean's safety.
Eh, he's an (ex) gang leader. He can handle himself. Screw him and his pretty face.
I drowned out the rest of lunch. My friends tried to include me in their conversations, but I really couldn't care less. I'd give curt responses. They eventually figured that I didn't care and stopped including me.
But as soon as the bell dismissed us from lunch, I found myself yearning for our gross cafeteria. The uncomfortable wooden tables seemed more appealing than being trapped in a class with Dean. At least I had Jaz and Will.
Ugh, Will. He was just another bullet on my list of problems.
When we got to our government class, I found relief in seeing Dean's chair occupied by someone else. He was sitting at the opposite end of the classroom. I avoided looking at him as I walked past and took a seat at my usual desk.
Class began but I couldn't find myself paying attention. Why was this happening? It was only weeks ago that we sat in my kitchen. Dean was giving me a cheesy line and we established everything was the same. We redeclared our love or whatever. Then why the sudden shift?
I knew why. It had to do with a certain redhead. Everyone warned me about her. Hell, I had warning bells ringing in my mind. I knew he wouldn't cheat, but that didn't mean he wouldn't go back to her. He probably still had feelings for her, like she did for him.
Everything was moving so fast. I had just gotten Dean back and I lost him again. It felt like time was never on our side. As soon as we were happy, something had to come and mess it up. Even if we were on a break, I couldn't trust this wouldn't happen again. How could I be sure he wouldn't leave me again? It seemed to be an easy task for him.
Maybe he didn't love me as much as I loved him.
Someone occupied the chair next to me but I didn't pay attention until they obnoxiously dragged their desk closer. The teacher sent a glare in our direction but continued the lesson.
"So, what're you planning for me?" Ben whispered, annoyingly close.
Right. I told him I would try harder to get his forgiveness.
"Shut it, asshole. I'm not in the mood," I hissed, never facing his gray eyes.
"And here I was thinking you were nice," he quietly chuckled beside me. "I'm glad though, I was starting to think you were sick."
I rolled my eyes to show my annoyance but kept my gaze locked on the whiteboard. It didn't matter though, because I couldn't focus on anything.
Did something actually happen between him and Skylar? Is that why he broke up with me? It would explain why he'd been avoiding me. He said nothing happened... but he could've been lying. Just like how he lied when he said he was in it for the long run.
A pencil hit the side of my head and I glared at an unapologetic Ben. "What's wrong with you?" he asked.
"None of your business." I moved my gaze away from his curious face. I was very aware I was messing up the mission, but I seriously wasn't in the mood to be pestered by him.
He scoffed quite loudly, attracting attention. He waited for the lingering eyes to carry back to the board before speaking. "Well, you promised to make it up to me. You better think of something."
"What do you want from me," I sighed in defeat.
He cocked his head in amusement. "You're giving me the power to choose? I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into."
Crap. I think I just made the wrong move.
"Well, we can start with your name," he smirked. "I'm Ben, by the way."
Oh, I know.
"Bella." I grimaced, not wanting to give him the impression that I like him.
"Bella," he repeated. "Is that short for something?"
"Yeah, nunya."
His brows furrowed in confusion. "I'm sorry, I don't understand." If I wasn't so pissed and sad and heartbroken right now, I would've laughed at his adorable expression.
"Nunya business," I continued. He cocked his head in confusion. I groaned and smacked my forehead. Of course he didn't understand. He was a freaking alien from another planet. "None of your business," I reiterated.
Realization dawned on him and he chuckled in amusement. "Nunya business. That's a good one. I'll have to write that down."
"I'm glad you enjoyed that," I replied, my voice dripping in sarcasm.
"I did."
Right, I almost forgot the world of Ben Stark doesn't consist of sarcasm.
"Don't worry Bella, I'll think of a suitable apology," he smirked, patting my head. I swatted his hand away and fixed my hair.
What did I just get myself into?
He moved his desk back to its original spot, earning another glare from the teacher. Ben only snickered, enjoying the negative attention. He was weird. I couldn't really figure him out. One moment he was moody and dark, and the next he was annoying and teasing.
Ugh, sounded like someone else I know.
But Ben Stark was a mystery waiting to be uncovered. And I was determined to uncover the layers beneath his Burberry coat and Gucci belt.
~~~
"Bella, thanks for meeting us," Reece grinned, pulling me into a short hug. It felt more comforting than our usual hugs. I wondered if Dean had spoken to him about the breakup yet.
I walked past him into the familiar office space. Much to my dismay, Skylar was sitting on the desk, her legs elegantly crossed. Her bright lips curled into a smirk. "Sorry to hear about the breakup, sweetie."
Her condescending tone only fueled the fire in my heart. I didn't respond, knowing damn well I had nothing nice to say.
I should've let her have it though. She and her smug self deserved it.
Reece sighed and sat on the office chair, staring at me. Both of their intense gazes forced me to look at my shoes.
He finally spoke, sighing again before he did. "Look, I understand that you're no longer going to be part of our mission, but–"
"I'm still doing it," I stated before I could stop myself.
Skylar arched her shaped brow. "Why? You aren't together anymore."
Gee, thanks for reminding me.
"So? I still love him. Even if we're not talking, I still want to help him," I scoffed, looking into her poison-filled eyes.
Her mouth formed an 'o' shape. It was Reece who had an issue though. "Bella, I don't know if that's the best idea."
"Why not? Doesn't it make things better? Now Ben will have no idea I knew Dean," I challenged.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, but you're hurt and I don't want something bad to happen."
"He's right, sweetie. Without Dean protecting you, it could be dangerous," Skylar added. She talked to me like a child. I hated it.
Why did she have the right to act so condescending? I never did anything to her. Sure, she was jealous about Dean and I's relationship, but it was over now! Nothing was stopping her from being the shoulder he cried on.
In fact, I'm sure she was.
I gave her a sickly sweet smile. "I'm fine, okay? I've committed to this. Besides, it's more than Dean. I have my personal reasons."
Ben Stark was one privileged son of a bitch. There's no way his only motive for being here was my ex-boyfriend. From the looks of it, he had the money. Why did he need to be in a gang? He might've had his reasons, like Dean, but none of that mattered.
What mattered was his attitude. I've known him for a short amount of time, but I could already sense he thought he was at the top of the world. In his mind, everyone else was scum.
In my own sick, twisted way, I wanted to be the one who knocked him down. He was a big ball of ego who was in a dire need of a reality check. What, did he think he could get away with anything he wanted? He was dead wrong.
Besides, this was the perfect distraction.
"I don't think you can handle someone like Ben," she sneered, sending me a piercing look. "I mean, how well did your relationship with Dean go? He slipped right through your fingers. Who's to say the same won't happen again?"
I clenched my fists even though I was ready to bruise that pretty face of hers. The mischievous glint in her eyes told me she knew exactly what she was doing.
"Ladies, please," Reece interjected, but our glaring match continued. "Skylar, I think Bella is well equipped to handle Ben, so leave it, okay?"
She gave me a final look before backing down. I mentally thanked Reece for sticking up for me.
"Will you be okay?" he asked, much quieter so Skylar wouldn't hear. I nervously bit my lip and nodded. "And you'll still keep me updated, right?"
"Of course," I responded.
He let out a breath of relief. "Good. I need you to be careful around him. We have no idea what he's capable of."
"I've got it handled, okay?"
He gave me a worried look and lightly grabbed my upper arm. "Bella, I don't want you going anywhere alone with him without letting me know."
"I won't," I lied. Of course, I would. If I really wanted to bring Ben down, I needed to slowly itch my way into his bubble and that would take a lot of alone time. I wasn't going to bother Reece about it. If anything, he'd get in my way.
He released his grip and gave me a smile. "Okay."
Good. I had him convinced. Now all I had to do was slither my way into Ben Stark's life.
And talk to Dylan and Emma. And Will.
Oh crap.
As I walked to the student lot, I wondered where this sudden desire to ruin Ben came from. As far as I was concerned, I was only doing this mission for Dean's sake, so why did I have a new wave of motivation?
But then Ben's words echoed in my ear.
"You wanted me to accept your apology because you have this need to be liked by everyone."
He was rude. He assumed he knew everything about everyone. He was a closed-off jerk who needed a taste of his own medicine.
And I'd be the one spoon-feeding him.
I had the motivation to hurt him, Dean-related or not. I didn't need an explanation behind my actions, I had plenty of proof he was an inconsiderate ass.
This was personal.
A tug on my shoulder pulled me out of my maniacal thoughts. "Gee Bella, I've been calling you for the past five minutes," Dylan huffed. "What's gotten into you?"
"Just lost in my thoughts." I flashed him an apologetic smile. Before I processed it, he was pulling me in the direction of his car. "Uh, what're we doing?"
"I told you we're going out today, at lunch. Remember?" He laughed, opening the passenger door of his car. I ducked in without protest. Knowing him, he'd force me in anyways.
Throughout the ride, I kept quiet and gazed outside the window. Dylan sent me concerned looks from time to time.
We pulled into a Starbucks and I internally sighed. Dean and I went to the same Starbucks when we skipped class a while ago. It felt like years, but it was only days ago.
Was this what it was like? Would I feel my heart break every time I visited a place we went to together?
"Come on," Dylan said, poking my side. I hadn't even realized we'd been stalling for a couple of minutes.
We entered the coffee shop and I numbly ordered my drink. Dylan got his coffee and paid even though I tried to pull out my card. I couldn't put up much of a fight. We settled into a corner table, away from the general population. I kept my gaze on my beverage while his gaze burned a hole in my head.
After minutes of silence, he finally talked. "What happened, Bells?" His voice was laced with sympathy.
I hated it.
I dealt with this the only way I knew how: with nonchalance. "He said he wanted to take a break," I said like I was reading the weather.
"But why? What prompted this?"
"Probably the fact that he has feelings for his ex," I bitterly spat, never meeting his eye. My hands twisted in my lap and I could feel how sweaty my palms were.
"Did he say that?"
"No, but it's obvious. Why else would he wanna split as soon as she came back?" My eyes finally met his. I quickly changed the topic before he lectured me about making assumptions. I didn't wanna talk about this anymore. The more I avoided it, the less it hurt. "So you have to explain what's going on between you and Emma."
"Bella, don't ignore this," he scolded. When I didn't bring up the Dean subject again, he dropped it. "Fine. I don't know what's going on between us."
"Are there feelings involved?"
"What? Fuck no," he denied. "Look, it's just casual sex, okay?"
"Does Emma know this?"
Emma was used to the whole casual sex thing with Dylan but I feared since her relationship, things might've changed.
"Yeah, of course. She's still upset with Will and I think it's her fucked up way of getting revenge. It's a win-win deal really. I get sex and she gets internal satisfaction," he winked.
"Dylan, be serious!" I groaned. "So you're betraying one friend for another? Does your relationship with Will mean nothing?"
"Will won't fuck me."
"Dylan," I warned.
He put his hands up in surrender. "Look, all I'm saying is that there are no strings attached. Emma is a big girl, she knows what she's doing."
But I worried that she was putting her anger over everything else. If she wanted revenge that badly, Will must've done something truly fucked up.
"Besides, we haven't fucked since the night you caught us."
My brows raised in surprise. "Really?"
He flashed me a sheepish smile and took a sip of coffee to prolong his explanation. "Yeah. We both felt guilty and you were already not talking to me. I didn't want to add fuel to the fire."
Aww. "Dylan? You have feelings?" I gasped, playfully smacking his arm.
He rolled his eyes. "Shut up."
"You're cute," I grinned, drinking my coffee. "I appreciate it, really."
"Does that mean we can continue having sex now?"
My face fell. "No."
"Bella," he whined. "Why not?" If we were standing, I'm sure he would've stomped his foot like a child throwing a tantrum.
"You're right, you're both adults," I said, earning an eager smile from him. "But let me talk to her first. I think she's really gone off the rails if she's doing it with you."
"Yeah, she's really exhausted all of her other options," he admitted, laughing. Good to see he could joke about his sex life.
He said it, not me.
"Exactly," I agreed, earning a flat look from him. "Anyway, please refrain from... intercourse until I talk to her."
"Yes ma'am," he mock-saluted.
We sat in silence for a little as we finished our drinks. Dylan knew how much I loved the sounds of coffee shops. For some reason, it just brought me peace. I could sit here for hours and listen to the whistle of the milk steamer or blender making fraps.
"Where do you go when you skip out on study hall?" he finally asked. "I always assumed you were skipping with Dean, but then you skipped today and it obviously didn't involve him if you two aren't together."
Dean.
For a minute, I forgot about him. Just hearing his name was sparking some unpleasant emotions.
"Yeah, I was hanging out with Reece," I admitted a little guiltily.
He playfully rolled his eyes. "Can't believe you'd choose him over us," he joked.
I absentmindedly played with my straw, swirling around the leftover ice from my drink. "It's the only time I really hang out with him."
"So things are good between you two?"
I furrowed my brows and stopped messing with my straw. "What do you mean?"
"Oh, well I just figured that since he's in love with you..." he trailed with a teasing smile.
I rolled my eyes and smacked him again. "Leave it alone, okay?"
"I'm just saying! How come everyone falls in love with you? Jeez, save some men for the others."
Even though he was teasing, I totally agreed with him. I didn't understand where all these guys were coming from. I was pretty ordinary.
Maybe it was the money. Yeah... they all wanted sugar mamas.
"You didn't," I pointed out.
His lips twisted into a mischievous smirk. "Do you want me to? Because I'll drop everything for you."
"Dad would love that."
He leaned back in his chair and eyed me skeptically. "But would you?"
I instinctively scrunched my nose in disgust. "We couldn't even kiss each other without barfing. How could we possibly date?"
"We could practice." He suggestively wiggled his brows. I laughed and tossed my empty cup at him. He skillfully caught it before it fell. "Violent."
"Only for you." And Taylor. And Skylar. Maybe for Dean, too.
"Way to make a guy feel special," he lazily smiled.
"Thanks," I said. For making me laugh even though I was hurting.
He understood the deeper meaning behind my words. "Always."
~
Sorry if there are typos. I have an exam today and this is my way of procrastinating.