"Wait, so what's up with you two?" Apollo queried when we were finally left alone by Chase who went to his own third class.
It's only Thursday, and it's been pretty hard trying to keep a straight face every hour.
We both agreed on keeping it low for a while and although it worried me, I'm reminded by the fact that this is all new. So I agreed.
"Nothing, we're just...in good terms, " I lied despite already feeling guilty about the other lies I've thrown at him. Thankfully though, Chase didn't mind me hanging out with him, but he made it clear he gets frustrated when I'm with someone else.
"Oh, really?" He questioned, and I frowned.
"Yes, really. Not everyone has to be bad, "
His eyes widened at my contradiction, "You are talking about THE Chase Michaels. If one person can stay bad forever, it will be him, "
I feel a sting as I realized that his insult hurts me too. It wouldn't make sense that after a month of calling Chase a monster that suddenly, I am defending him. I've seen him, the good parts, and I wish he would show it to more people so I wouldn't have to listen to everyone calling him all these things.
"He really isn't, I found that out, " I admit as we enter the auditorium. He scoffs in disbelief, followed by a chuckle.
"Dang, he really put a spell on ya, huh?" The irate in me only grew by the second.
"No, he didn't, " I argued, only to realize that I'm giving myself away.
We sat down and his eyes fixated on me, dumbfounded. "Ok, jokes aside, I'm starting to worry now, "
"Can we not talk about this? " I groaned, knowing that if he doesn't stop, I might be the one exploding.
"Grace, I'm just saying. I warned you-"
"Everyone has warned me Apollo and honestly, maybe I just want to give him a second chance." I snapped, having had enough of his words. It's not such a marvellous idea defending the devil himself like this, but I can't help it.
We have a good thing going on for the past few days and I sure as hell wouldn't want anything to come between that. He's being candid about things and trying his best.
Apollo stays silent after my words, and I couldn't be any more relieved. If he continued to speak like that, I surely would have given him a piece of my mind.
Chase isn't perfect, he's not even an inch close to being one, but he's different. I know that Julia didn't approve of whatever it is going on with us, but she never questioned it and I'm thankful for that. Everyone knows Chase is bad news, and I knew it too, but when he told me the story of his tattoo about second chances, I can't help but admire him. I see him in a unique light now, and I still have doubts and I'm sure everyone else would too, but they don't see him the way I do.
None of them sees the way he smiles or the way he squints his eyes when he gets annoyed, or how he gets easily irritated by the smallest of things but in such an adorable way. It's too early, too quick for me to think about him this way, but every second with him makes whatever I feel grow, to a point of no return.
• •
The day finally ended so quickly and relief washes over me. Luckily for me, Apollo had left the Chase situation alone.
"Any plans for today?" He asked as we made our way out of the building.
"Nope, probably just prepare for my work tomorrow. We've got two artists in." I smiled.
"Lucky, our studio has been a bit dry lately."
I laughed at his statement, but just as I was about to take another step down, I see the last person I wanted to.
I freeze, my breath getting right out of me at the sight of my father, making his way towards me. His face looked nothing welcoming nor did it look apologetic, it's just emotionless.
"Grace, can I have a word?" He asked when he finally got close enough. I feel my heart stop at the sight of him, and my blood slowing down. The feeling I haven't felt since his divorce.
I look over to Apollo, hopeful to find a way out, but judging by his shocked expression, I doubt I'd get anything from him.
"Can we talk somewhere else?" I asked him shakily. His eyes telling me nothing, that by itself makes me feel uneasy. He was tense and looked guilty, but the criminal kind. The one that wears a fake smile for a living.
"This can't wait, " he faintly smiled at Apollo as if to just acknowledge his existence.
He looks at me, making sure that I agreed. Having no other choice, I nod at him, letting him know that I'll be all right. Apollo gives me a sympathetic smile with a questioning look before peacefully walking away, leaving me all alone.
I don't think I've ever felt more uneasy and anxious around my dad ever since the divorce. However, after everything that had happened between the nightmares and Chase, I see him differently-almost as if I never knew him. Just the thought of it makes me wanna cry.
"How're things?" He started leading us down the stairs and I cringed.
"Just get to the point, " I said harshly, and we stopped by some pine trees, comforting me that there are others around. Somehow my gut tells me he had more strength than just to scream at me.
"Grace, I do apologize for everything that happened. It was wrong for me to come into your life like that, but you have to understand. I brought you here to give you a chance to have a father. I'm still that. Sure, I have a new family; that doesn't change anything." He started and I shake my head at every word he said.
"I'm still the same old dad you loved." He smiled, "and like your mom, all I want is the very best for you. That's all the reason why I was so concerned with you being with Michaels. He might be a bright student, but he...he causes trouble."
Unbelievable. Here I thought he finally had the ability to apologise, but like every other time, I'm only left with disappointment. The way he carried himself with his chin held up high in confidence and his neatly groomed hair like he never worried makes it so much worse. I can't believe this is still what he's doing, after all this time.
"Seriously, you came all the way here to check if I did what you told me to do?" I laughed as I stare right at him with burning hate. He frowns at me. And blood only boiled.
"Well, did you?"
"Yeah, sure I did. But not for you, I won't do anything for you." I lied, feeling a lump in my throat rise as he scowled, ate response.
"Grace, your mom would've agreed with me, "
"Of course she would, but unlike you, she cares and isn't just driven by some...some stupid guilt!" I snapped, tears now brimming my eyes, and his widened.
He opened his mouth to say something gut I caught him decide against it.
"Well, whatever it is you think, you keep that. But I do care, " he said as he started backing away, clutching his laptop bag tightly. "The kids would really like to see you again in...better terms." He said as, with that, he walked away, leaving me alone.
As he disappeared into the crowds of students, I feel my stomach turn as the same images of my grammy fighting with him flashed through my head. The sensation of everything spinning along with it, making it worse. Then it was followed by my shallow breath as I desperately try to ground myself.
Panic attack.
I frantically search for a point of focus, anything.
Give me a brighter light, a cold gust of wind, anything to stop me from falling to the floor, numb and inanimate. This is it again. In my head, a countdown starts. For what? I wouldn't want to stick around to find out. I haven't had it this bad for as long as I can remember and have it here, with someone every two feet doesn't make it any easier. I know I'm moving; I see myself moving, but I don't feel it. Nothing.
"Oh hey, girl!"
Half-way. Everything stopped moving. But my heart still races a million miles. The feel of the hard ground beneath my soles begin to return and the warmth of my body fills the cold of my skin.
Finally, being able to focus, I find Xavier, Courtney, Jess and-Chase. Him standing so close to Courtney with a frown on his face as I see a flash of worry in it.
"Julia's party was a-ma-zing, wasn't it?" She laughed, but my eyes were only on Chase. The realization of what I was seeing hits me just as I thought I felt safe. I nod at her, feeling my throat dry.
"Damn, I'm still upset I wasn't invited, " Xavier commented receiving a nod from Jess as they laughed. But I didn't care. All I cared about now, not even my father, but Chase still hanging out with this girl. He said he would deal with her, didn't he?
"Anyway, there's a party tonight. A Halloween markdown. I know, it's like a week away, but we have a different party on that day. Would you come? Chase will be there, and so will everyone else. " her adenoidal voice sending me into another spiral added with the new information.
I see Chase's jaw lock and my heart sinks. So, he's still hanging out with her?
"She won't come." He bluntly stated, speaking for me and keeping a straight face; my jaw drops. Why does everyone love to decide for me?
"Oh, shut up. Let her talk, " Jess turns to me, "So? It would be so fun...there will be guys you'll LOVE. They'll be like you?" She cringed and I feel rather offended, but seeing Chase get a little bit more uncomfortable and annoyed was worth it. If he gets to hang out with everyone without my input then surely I can do it too, right?
"Yeah, I'll come, " I let out, still trying to call my nerves and Chase gives me a chilling glare.
"What?" He raised and Courtney smirks, the kind that tells me she had something in mind.
"Shut up, Chase. Her choice." Xavier defended, winking my way. I watched as Chase's hands clenched so tightly.
"Thanks, " I said, looking at Chase with a sarcastic smile.
"EEEH! yay! You will LOVE the party, we'll see you tonight, " Courtney assured me with the same old smirk she had, flipping her long blonde locks to the side, but all I can see were the furious eyes of the devil himself.
"I don't think you'll enjoy that stupid place anyway, " Chase grumbled and I blink at him.
"Maybe let me judge that for myself, " I smile again. The vengeful kind.
Maybe this will show him that he can't always have his way. Or, perhaps he'll think about Courtney, though judging by the fact that she wasn't all over him, maybe they spoke? I just don't understand. If they had nothing to do with each other, then why would they need to talk?
More questions filled my head until I reached my car and as I buckled down. If it wasn't for the genuine fury in his eyes or the worried expression he had; so subtle, I would cry and shouting at him. Now, I have hope for him, because I saw it in his eyes.
Three loud knocks on my passenger window startle me just as I stepped on the pedal and right there was a very furious Chase, flames in his eyes.
'Wave, open the fucking door, " he seethed and I shiver at the sight. Oh, he is mad all right. I contemplated for a moment, scared of what he might do, but as he pounded on my window, I was more scared for my car, so I groaned and I clicked the door open.
He sat down, immediately slamming his hand down on the dashboard, and leaned back in frustration. I flinched and my eyes widened at his outburst. How dare he?
"Excuse me?" I gasped, and he turns to me with a frustrated laugh.
"What the fuck were you doing? I told you not to come and you are?" He snapped his tone very much the scary kind. The urge of running away only grew from there. Here we go again.
"You can't make those choices for me!"
"Well, then fucking listen! You wouldn't like it there, people will be drinking, smoking, snorting fucking drugs and you wouldn't want that!" He yelled, now fully facing me and my blood boiled.
"Just admit it, you don't want me to go because you'll be with her through the night!" I seethed, and the blaze in his eyes only grew.
"So you think just because I hang out with a friend I'm hooking up with her?" He said as if I was so obnoxious and I felt small again. Like I was the one to blame.
"Well, I don't know you! I don't know what you might do and to be frank, I can't trust you so much yet. Not like this." Tears pricked my eyes at the feeling of defeat and I watched as his eyes slowly softened, but not fully.
He stays silent, and I said my final thoughts.
"I'm going, whether you like to or not." I gripped my wheel tighter.
"No, your not."
"Chase-"
"If you don't go, then we can go to the shitty dinner tomorrow, " he cuts me off and I gape at him in disbelief.
Is he really using that as his leverage?
"You can't be serious?"
He rolls his head with a sigh, frustration clear on his face. And I didn't know what I felt anymore. Exhausted, maybe.
"I am. Just-" he stopped fishing something from his pockets. He brings out his apartment keys and grabbed one of my hands, placing them there. "-trust me, I'll be back before midnight, as there I won't do stupid things. I won't even drink. Wait for me at my place, I'll prove it." He assured, now looking at me softly.
Say no, just fight it. My subconscious argued, but a deeper part of me wants to trust him, I want to know his intent. Plus, he said he'd go to that dinner.
"Promise?" I stupidly ask as I see the relief wash over his troubled features.
"I promise, " he whispered. With that, he plants his soft, cold lips to my nose before stepping back out of the car.
And I can't help the feeling that this psychotic boy had created a stupid girl out of me.