Listen to I look to you by Whitney Houston
Mia
To hear an unexpected bad news,
Most times, I would see them coming. I'd have this gnawing feeling that wouldn't leave when something bad was bound to happen. This time, I didn't even suspect it. It was as if I'd been made numb to that feeling.
The news was like having a paralysis in a sleep. One, I couldn't do anything about no matter how much I tried.
I didn't have time to reminisce to my past. I didn't have that energy to focus and trace how every single one of my family had to suffer some ordeal at one point in their life. As Papa and I rode to the hospital, dizziness, nausea and hyperventilation washed over me like waves. I knew my nightmares were not over but I didn't also expect a storm like this.
Please let him be alright. Those were my mantra the entire ride to the hospital. I hadn't even focused on Papa to see how he was feeling but I knew he was in great distress just as I was.
As soon as the cab pulled in front of the hospital, I ran in high speed to the insides of the hospital. I was deranged. I was still in my pajamas. Simply put, I was anything but presentable and I didn't care about that. I rummaged the entire hospital looking for Amber. I figured she was the only one to feed me on what was really going on. My head was hurting. My heartbeat raced with every taken step. Overthinking bristled in me. I felt my fears crash into me like a cannonball.
"Amber." I called to her. She was in a hurry but I managed to have crashed into her just in time. I gave a her a vacant stare, trying so hard not to let her see the tears that were building up in my eyes.
"Mia." She hugged me, her lips quivering at a frantic beat. Her actions made my heart sink, as I was beginning to fear the worst. I pushed her off and held her at arm's length.
"Where's Jay. How's he?"
She took a deep breath and partially opened her lips. "There's not much I can say. He's undergoing surgery at the moment."
"Will he fine Amber?" I ran my hands through my disheveled hair. Frustration and stress enveloped my entire being. I began to shiver incredulously.
"It's only the doctor who can say. Let's pray for the best. I have to go. I'm needed at another ward." She cupped my cheeks and sped off.
I paced up and down the hallway like a crazy person. To the point of three nurses speaking to me to get seated, but I wouldn't. No matter how I tried to calm down, my nerves wouldn't. It was like I was on fire and the only way to cool me down was the news that Jay was going to be fine.
At that moment, I had even forgotten I'd left Papa alone in the cab. I had to hear something good before I went to him. No news would break his heart more, especially since we were in the hospital.
"Mia." A voice broke through my thoughts. As I threw my head up thinking it was Amber, a soft light crept in me at the sight of Jane.
"Jane." She pulled me into a hug and I held tightly on her.
"I'm so sorry, Mia. Have you heard anything?"
I shook my head as I took my seat.
"I feel like I'm about to lose my mind Jane. He's in surgery right now. Amber couldn't tell me anything positive."
"What about the man responsible for this?"
"I haven't seen him. I swear to God if Jay doesn't make it through, I'll make sure who ever is responsible for this would rot in hell."
Jane's hand crawled up my back and placed gentle strokes there.
An hour later, a doctor came from the theatre. At his sight, I hauled towards him.
"Doctor, how's he?"
He gave me a weak smile and told me to follow him to the office. I glanced at Jane who gave me anything but an encouraging smile. She was trying to be strong for me but I didn't blame her if she couldn't.
"Doctor how's he now?" I choked on tears as I refused to sit down when he asked me to.
"He's stable. Though after the surgery, he's still comatose."
"Was the injury severe?"
"Yes, internal bleeding. Had to perform the surgery to stop it. A few broken bones. But I can't say anything for now Mrs North. I'm really sorry. Right now we have to keep our fingers crossed. If he comes out of the coma, that will be an indication of little hope."
With nothing to say and no emotion to express, I left the office. Jane was standing by the door.
"What did he say?"
"He's comatose." My voice broke just saying that. Grief over took my instincts and splashed over me.
"He'll come through Jane. Jay is a strong kid. He'll sail through this."
"Can you tell Papa? I need to go to the chapel for a few minutes." I had to send her. I would break down before I told Papa. After I had told him, he'd also break down. And I didn't have the stamina to be the strong one.
I pushed the chapel door quietly behind me. Relieved it was empty. I took silent steps and fell at the feet of the altar. There was a statue of Jesus and I decided to pray. Everytime I opened my mouth, nothing spluttered out. I just hoped and believed he could sense my pain through my tears. In my heart.
I came out of the room. A lot more fuller than when I entered in empty. I saw Amber crossing the hallway but halted when she saw me. Her gaze announced she had been searching for me.
"Mia, hey. The man wants to see you now."
I shot her an angry look. I was wigging out about Jay's comatose and the man who ushered him into that state wanted to see me.
"Mia, Alaric's here." Jane came from no where, surprise scribbling on her face.
"Yes. That's him. You know him? He brought in Jay. He was the one who knocked him down." Amber said. Jane jawdropped. My skin bunched around my eyes.
This better be a mistake. "Where's he?"
"Down at the main hall." Amber answered and skipped past her.
As soon as I saw him, my fist clenched and my teeth seethed. He was pacing up and down. With every passing second, he would ran his hands through his hair. He was frustrated, he made it obvious but what I felt was far from his.
I paved my way until I was right in front of him. The way he stared back at me was priceless. If this had been a different place, a different occasion, I would have laughed at his face.
"You! You ran into Jay." I breathed out and before I could stop myself, my palm was simmering heat after I connected it to his cheek. His skin glowed visibly red from the imprints of my palm. I'd never hit anyone in my life. I always believed I was a pro at controlling my temper. But since it was Alaric, he only brought the worst in me.
A gasp escaped from the crowd but I didn't pay heed to them. He deserved this chagrin.
A tall built man came from behind and at first glance, I discovered it was one of his minions ready to pounce on me. Alaric held up his hands, one that made him pause.
"Don't you dare take another step towards me, you lap dog!" I hissed. That was enough for him to growl lowly but step back. Now back to the pathetic human being infront of me whom I wouldn't hesistate to slap again.
"He's your brother?" He asked stupidly. He stood ever so tall and unwavering even after that bitter humiliation. It was either he was pretending not to be affected or wasn't at all. That only made me want to smack him even harder. "Mia, I'm-"
"Shut your dirty mouth Alaric!" I was being harsh but at that moment I didn't give a damn. I was enraged and that fact that he caused this entire incidence was overbearing. "Your useless apology can't and won't do anything for me." My voice broke from the tears that were fighting to eke out. I took a step back, swallowed a huge gulp of air. "You better pray to whatever mighty force out there that my brother wakes up. Because if he doesn't, I swear on my life, you'll face the same carnage and worse."
"Mia!" Papa's voice called out to me. I turned to him and his eyes begged me to stop.
"Papa, please." I held my hand to him with due respect then turned to Alaric. "You know something Alaric. I'm not surprised you did this. Afterall that's what you do. You always mess things up. You destroy lives. That's your specialty. You create a mess and expect others to clean it out for you. You're nothing but a schlemiel." I snarled on gritted teeth, making sure my eyes never left his. He had to see the intensity of my rage and hatred for him. "And at this very moment too, you're an interloper. Now leave this hospital. You're not needed."
And maybe for the first time and even possibly a lifetime of power and control, I saw a twinge of fear and remorse in his wicked soul.
"Mia." Papa's voice rang in my ears again.
"Get out of here Alaric! Leave!" I gave him one last final stare and stalked off in a pointless huff. The tears I tried so hard to hold in, came rushing down like waterfall.
I found myself in Jay's ward as I sank my body down and drowned in the surging emotions that purged out.
"Please Jay, you can do this. You're strong. You've always been strong. Please come back to us. Please." I buried my face in his shoulders. He was heavily bandaged. His head, his left hand and leg.
As I sobbed quietly into the cotton sheet, I heard soft whispers behind me.
"Mia, I think we should go home. Amber said she'll alert us in the course of any changes." Jane said.
I sniffed back the tears and stayed put for a few minutes then straightened up.
"I'll stay. Maybe you should take Papa to your place." I said and knelt before him. "Papa, you need to rest. I'll stay here with Jay in case anything happens. Please go home with Jane."
"Mia, Jay will be fine. He's strong. He'll come through. You need to rest too. You can't stay here all night."
I gazed at the clock and it was now 12 midnight. "Don't worry Papa. If I get too tired, I'll rest on the chair. But I want to be with Jay."
After a long period of failing to convince me, Papa and Jane were out of the hospital. Jane texted me when they arrived in her house.
For the rest of the night, I stood watch on Jay. Wishing for a slight movement of any part of his body. I had turned paranoid and it wasn't going away until Jay woke up from this undead slumber.
The early chirping of the birds woke me up as I rubbed my eyes. Reality dawned on me that Jay was still motionless. My back ached from my seated position. I checked the time, and it was seven.
I needed to call Mrs Cooper, inform her I wouldn't make it to work today. My state of mind wouldn't permit me. But I didn't have her number. I cursed in my head, realizing I had to go to the supermarket and officially seek permission now.
I pecked Jay on the cheek, and texted Amber to call me if there are any changes. I was going to return right from the supermarket. I texted Jane too but she didn't reply instantly so I locked my phone back in my pocket.
I got to the supermarket after running a long distance, forgetting I was still in pajamas, and that I was a complete mess.
"Mia." Mrs Cooper said the moment I entered the supermarket. She had a puzzled look on her. She was also sober and looked really bright like the morning sky.
"Mrs Cooper. I'm so sorry I had to show up like this. I was just coming to seek your permission. I wouldn't be able to come in today."
"Why?" She gave me a puzzled look, and looked at me over the rim of the coffee cup she held in her hands.
"My brother was involved in an accident. A car ran into him." I said, rushing the words like a legato.
"Oh my God. How's he?" She put the cup down and pulled me in a light hug.
"He's incapacity. I'll come to work as soon as possible. But today_"
"Don't worry. Please do what you need to do. Life matters. You come to work whenever."
"Thank you." I muttered and left the supermarket.
My phone vibrated and my heart started to beat faster. I calmed down when it was Alan.
"Hey." I said, my voice dour.
"Mia, I'm so sorry. Alaric told me what happened. Is Jay alright now?"
"Why would he tell you?" I asked, my tone picking up a bit.
"Because for this first time in his life, he feels regret and remorseful for his own actions." Alan let out, like that was an achievement. I could tell it came as a big surprise to him.
"Jay's still comatose. I'm losing it Alan."
"I understand. But he'll be fine. I know that. God I wish I was there with you right now."
"Thank you." I breathed out.
How's Papa. He must___
Another call came through, interrupting in on Alan. It was Amber. I hadn't saved the number but I recognized it. My heart began to replay its former wave of frenzy.
"Alan, umm the nurse is calling. Can I call you back?"
"Sure. Take care princess. Be strong for me."
I nodded as if he could see me and picked up on Amber's call.
"Amber."
"Mia. Mia. Jay's awake." Her voice burst with joy.
A big wave of relief swept over me as I fell to my knees and held my hands high in mirth.