The days are going dreadfully slow.
I'm sitting, drawing, minding my own business when Sawyer decides to bother me.
"How long have you been sitting there for?" Sawyer questions.
I debate being petty but just shrug. I've been out here all morning and it's almost three. Drawing is a long process especially if you want to make it look realistic.
"We're all going out to eat, but if you're hungry now I can make you something." Sawyer says and I nod. He's still keeping his lost bet, cooking for me. "Just let me know." He says and I nod, again not paying much attention. Nodding every time he talks. But then everything I actually want to say to him pops into mind and I can't stop it.
"You're good at that." I say.
"What?" He says.
"Making people believe they are more important to you than they actually are." I finish one last stroke before I look up at him.
He peers down at me through his swaying curls. He clears his throat, takes a few steps back but still lingers at the edge of my space.
Thunder cracks in the distance, startling both of us. Sawyer whips his head around to look for the storm.
He smiles lazily and turns to look at me,
"That's a load of bull." He snorts. I smack my pencil down on the bench I'm sitting on. Angry. The sun is slightly hidden behind graying clouds making it look darker.
I crease my eyebrows and I feel my blood boiling. He made me believe I was someone special, and now that I know about Jospeh he seems like he doesn't care.
I open my mouth to argue back but Jospeh pops his head out.
"There you are. I've been looking for you everywhere. Are you coming out to eat? I think Evan chose a fancy restaurant." Jospeh says excitedly. My first instinct is to immediately decline but seeing how thrilled he is makes me nod. His smile widens,
"You can ride with us." And he points to somewhere inside, assuming he wants me to ride with him and Avery.
I accidentally look to Sawyer who seems slightly irritated that Jospeh interrupted. From my point of view Sawyer is shaking his head, signaling for me to decline which makes me angrier. Joseph can't see Sawyers annoyance, his back to Sawyer.
"Sure." I smile not wanting to be stuck in the same car as Sawyer.
He turns to Sawyer with a suspicious look,
"Leave her alone." Jospeh playfully says as he smacks his brothers chest.
Sawyer fake smiles at his brother and as soon as Jospeh leaves Sawyers smile drops.
I ignore Sawyer and go back to drawing.
"You should get ready then." Sawyer awkwardly says, and I nod.
I know I got under his skin with all my nodding when he angrily opens the back porch sliding door a little too hard. I try not to laugh but smile behind my drawing book.
I notice something moving from the corner of my eye and when I turn to see what it is I freeze. It's a large black spider and it's crawling closer to me. I try ignoring it hoping it will just crawl away but it stops right above me. I continue to draw my eyes landing on the spider every few seconds.
The spider uses its web to start slowly lowering itself and it's right in front of me. My mouth is dry as I try to scream. It's swaying back and forth because of the wind and I try making myself flat against the wall.
"Sawyer!" I scream and I shake my head, disappointed I called his name. "Jospeh!" I shout louder hoping he'll hear me instead of Sawyer from somewhere in the house.
"What happened? Are you okay?" Sawyer quickly appears at the door way, out of breath. Jospeh isn't that far behind, he's holding a pair of scissors.
I'm flat against the wall just staring at the spider making sure it doesn't get closer to me. The spider crawls up it's one web string and suddenly falls closer to me and I squeal.
"You're scared of spiders?" Sawyer points out the obvious. He seems amused, "you don't seem like you would be." He says more to himself. I glare at him,
"Just kill it. Somebody." I look over at Jospeh who also seems to be holding in his laugh.
Sawyer grabs the spiders web and my eyes widen. He sways it at me with a mischievous smile.
"It's harmless." Sawyer teases, rolling his eyes. What I don't think he expects happens. The spider lands on me when he sways it a little closer. I scream and jump off the bench.
"Get it off me. Get it off." I squeal, shaking everywhere and pat myself off. I don't know if it's still on me but I run, and I shiver feeling like the spider is crawling somewhere on me. It could be in my hair and I wouldn't know.
I run as far as I can and I feel Sawyer calling my name.
"Opal!" I hear him from the distance. He's getting close.
"Opal!" His voice is right behind me. He grabs hold of my arm but I push him away, his grips slips from me and I walking faster.
"Opal, stop." Sawyer grabs me again, this time pulling me toward him. He pulls me into a hug. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen."
"You're an asshole." I say through gritted teeth.
I've been really emotional because of everything so I just cry. I cry into his chest. This causes Sawyer to hug me tighter.
"I'm sorry." He says and I pull away.
"It's not the spider, Sawyer. It's Jospeh. I don't want him to..." and I sob even harder. Sawyer nods understanding that I don't want to say the word, he frowns and pulls me in closer.
When I realize I'm crying and being comforted by Sawyer I pull away.
"We should head back." I wipe the tears and fix my wrinkled shirt.
"Jospeh killed the spider." Sawyer says, trying to lighten up the mood. But all I can do is nod.
When I see Jospeh I run to him with a smile.
"Thank you. I think I over panicked." I sheepishly laugh. Jospeh pulls me in for hug.
"I killed it." Jospeh laughs. "I think Sawyer should leave the spider killing to me." Jospeh gives Sawyer a pointed look.
Sawyer looks apologetically at me but I look away, still angry.
"All that adrenaline has made me hungry. I'm going to go change." I look down, feeling awkward. I don't wait for Jospeh to nod I just maneuver pass him and head for my room.
When I put on a red floral dress and white Keds I hear a knock at my door.
"Avery, I don't know..." I stop when I realize I opened the door to Sawyer. "Oh, it's you." I mutter.
Sawyer ignores my rude tone, "You left this outside. Its a little wet." He says as he hands me my drawing book and pencils.
I take them from him and stare at him. I'm not going to thank him if that's what he's waiting for.
"Hey, Opal. Are you ready?" Avery walks up to my door, completely ignoring Sawyer. She winks at me and I try to hold in my smile.
"Yes I'm ready." I pull her in and close the door.
"The tension." She says laughing and I roll my eyes. "You're welcome. It looked like he wanted to say something. Did you see the look on his face when I interrupted? Priceless. Pissing off Sawyer is fun." She says.
"Thank you." I tell her.
"That's what he gets for being a jack ass." She shrugs. "You want your hair into a braid, right?" She asks and I nod.
She starts doing a braid and a few of my curls fall to the front of my face. It's a cute messy braid.
"All done. Hey you're riding with us right?"
I actually look presentable today. Avery snaps me out of my thoughts,
"Oh, right. Yes." I tell her and she smiles.
"Well, they're in the car. We're all just waiting for you."
"Really? Why didn't you say something?" I nervously laugh and she pulls me to follow her.
The restaurant isn't that far. Jospeh parks his car. I'm still confused as to why we all took separate cars.
I take my time to get out of the car. Avery follows Evan around like a puppy. I'm sure Sawyer is already inside. Jospeh is waiting for me out side of the car.
"Hey, you've been quiet the whole car ride." Jospeh points out. We walk arm in arm to the restaurant.
"Avery was venting, I didn't want to interrupt." I say.
"No. That's not it. Somethings bothering you." He looks at me. I narrow my eyes,
"Really? What is?" I playfully question.
"I'll figure it out. I'm no Sawyer but I'll know, just give me time."
"How does Sawyer do that?" I question, curious.
Jospeh shrugs, "I think he learned from your uncle at a young age. Sawyer was always into Sherlock Holmes the great detective. I guess so much so that he kind of became him. Minus trying to find murderers." Jospeh laughs.
"Why this obsession?" I question.
"Sawyer hates not knowing what people are thinking. So he became a mind reader." Jospeh shrugs again, almost making fun of his brothers tactics. "He gets irritated not knowing. He picks up clues and habits from people within seconds and he usually gets their life story spot on. It's creepy." He looks at me, waiting to see my reaction.
I think it's fascinating, but a little odd. I want to learn. I don't say anything but nod.
"Oh, I forgot to mention..." Jospeh says as he opens the door to the restaurant, "Sawyer invited a few people."
My smile falls as I turn to see Julie. The girl who is all over Sawyer at the moment.
They're sitting beside one another. Everyone is already sitting down, chatting.
The only spots open are right across of Julie and Sawyer. I sit down in front of Sawyer, who doesn't look at me.
Everyone's talking to one another, and I feel a little left out.
"I still haven't forgiven you, Sawyer." Jospeh says, laughing. He takes a drink.
"When?" Sawyer laughs.
"That one time I was sick with a chest cold." He laughs, "Do you remember?" He questions, narrowing his eyes playfully.
Sawyer laughs, leaning back into his seat. He seems so relaxed as he wraps his arm around Julie. "No. Remind me?" He looks up feigning a thoughtful look.
"I was super sick. Our mother had a vaporizer machine running in our room. Our parents went out for the evening and while I was sleeping, this little shit..." Jospeh points to his brother Sawyer, shaking his head in disappointment. "decides to piss in the vaporizer while I was asleep."
Sawyer laughs, "Naturally." He shrugs.
"When our parents came home they came to check on me. They were greeted with a fog cloud made of urine. Don't worry, I'm fine. My clothes smelled for weeks though." Jospeh laughs.
Everyone else bursts into laughter and I can't help but look at Sawyer whose face is red from laughing so hard. I can't believe he did that.
I try laughing, but the constant thought of Jospeh is lingering. How can Sawyer be sitting there laughing? When he knows what's going to happen.
Julie leans into him, she eyes me with almost a mocking smile. I look away.
"Evan do you remember that time?" Sawyer asks, eyeing Evan with a knowing look. Evan chuckles placing his napkin and fork down to hear the story.
"That one I'll never forgive you for. I broke my arm because of you." Jospeh says and my eyes widen.
"Oh I was there. I remember." Avery laughs.
Julie looks to Sawyer, "I want to know, tell it." She urges Sawyer and he smiles at her.
"Evan and I covered an upside down wheelbarrow with a pile of leaves. We talked Jospeh into jumping into the pile of leaves. He dived head fist flipping into the barrow. I don't know how the fuck he broke his arm. But the pure look of surprise and betrayal on his face was worth it. Don't worry I've apologized to him many times during the years." Sawyer looks at Jospeh laughing at the memory.
"He didn't speak to me for a month." Evan says, taking sip of his drink.
"I refuse to acknowledge that day and what happened." Jospeh flips them both off.
I laugh trying to picture them young, small, and troublesome. I feel so left out, but glad they're sharing these memories. They're actually funny.
When dinner is over, everyone seems quiet. We're the first ones home. I'm not sure where Evan went. But I know Sawyer is with Julie.
"That was such a great dinner. I feel like we eat pasta way too much." I laugh as I lie down on the couch.
"It's Evans favorite." Avery laughs and I give her a knowing look. She blushes slightly and walks off.
"Hey, I'll be back. I'm going to drop something off." Jospeh says, looking at the time. "Shit, I have ten minutes. Whatever you do don't tell Sawyer." He says and I nod, trying to understand what the hell is happening. He's holding a huge envelope and he runs out the door.
I sit there bewildered and go back to drawing.
Not even five minutes later Sawyer walks in through the front door.
"Where is Jospeh going?" He asks, and I shrug. "Opal." He says, more sternly.
"What?" I question, looking up. His green eyes are angrily piercing mine.
"I know you know where he went. Cut the bull."
"What makes you think that?" I counter and he rolls his eyes.
I might have a clue.
"As soon as he saw me he ran to his car and zoomed off." He stares at me waiting for me to answer. "It's a little suspicious..." he narrows his eyes at me.
I get up from the couch, "I'm thirsty." I say out loud and walk to the kitchen.
He unfortunately follows me to the kitchen. I get a glass and stand in front of the refrigerator letting my glass fill up with water.
"I'm waiting." He stands by the door, arms crossed.
"How do you do it?" I question, he raises an eyebrow and switches his weight to his other foot.
"Do what?" He questions and I take a gulp of water.
"Pretend you are okay?" I wipe my water mustache.
"I'm not pretending." He counters.
"Yes you are, every single day. And it breaks my heart." I frown and walk closer to him. "How can you not see that?" I question. He looks down at me unmoving. Expressionless as always whenever I confront him.
"I'm back. I got the ice cream you wanted." Jospeh shouts from the entrance. Sawyer narrows his eyes.
"Where were you?" Sawyer asks Jospeh, he's completely ignoring me.
"She wanted ice cream." Jospeh looks between us, almost scared to face Sawyer and his wrath. Jospeh hands me the ice cream pint and I take it. Sawyer catches my shaking hands and I hide the ice cream behind me.
"I know when you're lying Jospeh. Just tell me." Sawyer asks, his angry voice calming down.
Jospeh turns to me, is that worry? Regret? When I'm about to open my mouth to try and get him out of this, Jospeh sighs.
"The post office. I turned in my application." He says and once those words come out of his mouth I feel nauseous.
He didn't think this through. He didn't even take my warning into account.
Sawyers eyes darken at those words.
"It's happening then." Sawyer says, cold and detached and I get angry.
"You can't go." I turn Jospeh to face me. He grabs my hands.
"You guys are paranoid. I'll be fine. It's just training. I might not even get in." He reassures me. He kisses me on the cheek, "Good night Opal." He whispers leaving no room for me to argue.
When he's gone I let go of my breath I didn't realize I was holding.
I glare at Sawyer who stands there doing nothing.
"Well?" I snap.
"Opal, now isn't the time." He puts his hand up, so I won't talk.
"Fine. Watch your brother die." I bite back, in a low voice.
"I have. Many times." He bitterly bites back. "He's my brother. I know what I'm doing. Your anger isn't coming just from him dying. No, it's something else." His eyes travel all around my face and I glare.
"No shit Sherlock." I scoff and saunter off. I don't want him to read into my feelings.
"You're going to stand there and tell me you actually want to be with me in the future?" Sawyer says and I pause. I take my time to turn around and look at him. "I know that this is what your stupid anger is about." He continues.
"What the hell do you want to hear Sawyer?" I find my voice rising. I instantly question what I'm doing. Am I about to confess how I feel? "Thanks for saving my life countless of times? What a hero." I tell him, not exactly confessing. "Or do you want to hear that I'm sorry that I saw what I saw? Sorry your future sucks? Sorry it isn't what you planned?" His face hardens, but I can't stop myself from digging a deeper hole. "I didn't ask for any of this. I didn't ask for you to save me. To be here. To see that." My voice finally gives up. I'm pushing him further and further away. I can't even bring myself to look at his stupid face.
He doesn't say anything, he just continues to eye me. His arms crossed, his jaw tight.
"So that's it." I pause, slightly shrugging. "I'm just some stupid girl who means nothing to you?" His green eyes snap to mine.
"Yes." He swallows thickly as if the word is like sandpaper scrapping his tongue. "You mean nothing to me, you never did."
I know he's lying, but it doesn't make it hurt any less, we've gotten close, bonded over a few things. And even if I try with all my heart to hate him, I don't think I ever fully will.
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