Raj had checked back in with me a few times only to tell me it was a little more complicated than most issues and he would need to keep investigating. I emptied a few more bottles waiting for JK to return. He was either taking a long time, or I was stress drinking. If that's a thing.
I heard a quiet knock on the front door. Finally, JK. Jeez. I got back up off the floor and walked toward the door. I made a quick stop in the kitchen the throw the bottles away.
I opened the door and my nose was hit by a wave of melty cheesy deliciousness. Mmm...
"Hi! I'm sorry I took so long. I guess I didn't realize how slow I had to go once I got the pizza."
"It's like 2 miles from here, it's not that far."
"Correct, it isn't far away. It only took me about 15 minutes to run there, but I decided to go slower on the way back so that I didn't jostle the pizza around."
"You RAN to the pizza place? Why didn't you drive?"
"I enjoy being surrounded by the outdoor world when I go places. I can experience more when I run. Plus I do not have a car or know how to drive."
"JK, are you serious?"
"Yes." He looked confused.
"I believe you. Listen, after we get this whole thing figured out and things settle down I'll teach you how to drive, ok?"
His eyes grew large.
"You would do that, for me?"
"Of course, everyone needs to know how to drive. Plus what if I need you to be the DD for me and JinBot?"
Again I saw a look on confusion on his face.
"DD? What is DD? Did you change Jin's name?"
"Oh JK. I love you." So maybe I shouldn't have drank so many beers so quickly. My humor was lost on him. "DD is designated driver, so like if say we went out downtown and I had a few, but you didn't, you'd be able to drive me home."
"That makes more sense, but why would you have Jin with you? He is an android and does not require food or drink."
"I know. It was a joke. Also, JinBot was just something I said in the moment. It's kind of clever though, right?"
"I suppose."
I love JK, but sometimes I don't understand him. Is he dense or just naive?
"Why is Jin covered with a blanket?"
"Oh yeah. He was watching me and it made me uncomfortable. I'm going to leave him covered until Raj can figure out what's wrong." Huh. He? I guess I could refer to it has he, but I still wasn't going to call him Jin until we could communicate.
"Who is Raj?" Always with the questions.
"Yes, hello, this is Raj. I am still working to try to fix your problem. Please continue to hold. Thank you."
"Um...that's Raj. He's with LoveStyle technical support and he's working on figure out what's up with the LoveDoll."
"Ok. I hope he can help."
"Me too buddy, me too."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had been on the phone with Raj for about an hour and 20 minutes. I was starting to lose hope. I had contemplated hanging up more than a few times, but we'd all already invested this much time into figure out what was up with my LoveDoll so I decided to keep holding.
A few more minutes went by when I finally heard Raj's voice again.
"Hello ma'am. Thank you for being so patient. I have spoken with several different departments within the company and we have finally figured out the problem."
"Oh Raj! You are a genius! If you were here I would kiss you!" Well that's it, no more alcohol for me tonight.
"I appreciate that ma'am, but that is not necessary. I am just doing my job."
"That you are and you are a master!" Seriously, time to sew my own lips shut.
"Thank you."
"So what happened?" Hey, I'm back to normal!
"It appears there was a mix-up in our shipping department. Your friend's JinBot was mistakenly sent to Korea and you received someone else's JinBot, seemingly from Korea."
"How would something like that even happen?"
"The order, customizations, and features are exactly the same. The only difference is his language card."
"That doesn't even make sense! The LoveDolls are so customizable that there's NO WAY that someone chose the EXACT same things as her. Aren't there like 1000 different combinations?"
"Actually there are 1,298,650 different combinations. With those odds I would suggest buying a lottery ticket."
That's astronomical. No freakin' way.
"Thanks, Raj. I'll take that under advisement." Ha! I'd always wanted to say that.
"There seem to be many similar JinBots, but only those two are 100% physically identical. I did a little side research while I was waiting to hear back from a few departments. I did not know who BTS was before today, but I can see why there has been an influx in LoveDoll purchases lately. If I had to choose a bias based on what I saw, I would have to choose Jimin. He's a very pretty man. Jin is a very good choice though."
Raj wasn't making sense. Yes, I had named my LoveDoll Jin, but that was after searching through baby names. What the hell is BTS and who is Jimin?
"Excuse me Raj, but you've lost me. I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Your friend didn't customize her LoveDoll to look like Jin from BTS?"
"I've never heard of BTS or Jin. Yes, LoveDoll is named Jin, but that was chosen after looking up baby name meanings. He's not named after somebody...I mean my friend chose that name after we looked up names."
"Ok ma'am." There was just a hint of disbelief...or was it judgement in Raj's voice?
I'll just pretend I didn't slip up and he didn't notice. I would look up BTS later, but that wasn't important right now. I just wanted to know how to fix the damn thing. Also, I needed to go buy a lottery ticket.
"Anyway, if you could just tell me how to fix it, that'd be great."
"Yes ma'am. I apologize for delay. There are three options to make it right. The first option is deactivating your JinBot, placing him back in the shipping crate with all of the attachments, accessories, and paperwork, and shipping him back to LoveStyle. We would remove his Korean language chip and replace it with an English chip, but leave everything else as is. Right now you're looking at getting the JinBot back in 2 to 3 months, depending on weather."
That would require turning him off, which I wasn't going to do, but I could get JK to do it. That part wasn't too bad, but having to repackage and lug him back downstairs, pay to ship internationally, and then wait 2-3 months sounded pretty crappy.
"I don't think that option would work very well for her. What else?"
"Yes ma'am. The next option would be reprogram JinBot's language chip remotely."
"That sounds way better! How long would that take?"
"It takes approximately two weeks. It is a very complicated process. You would have to leave him turned on for the entirety of the process. Also you would need to leave a four foot radius around him clear during the entirety as well."
That sounded easier, but two weeks of creepy gibberish-speaking JinBot watching my every move. The four foot radius wouldn't be a problem, but that would mean I'd have to leave him uncovered. I just couldn't have those eyes follow me for TWO WEEKS. Please, let the third option be better.
"Ok. What's the third option?"
"All LoveDolls are equipped with a learn ability."
"I saw that as an option, but I didn't choose to pay the extra $500."
"That's ok. It is actually still possible to turn on the learn function. Due to the advanced nature of the electronics within our LoveDolls we can do many things remotely, as I mentioned before. Every processor has the learn chip installed. This would need to be turned on remotely, and I could do that for you."
"Ok, so you flip a switch. That's it?"
"No ma'am, not quite. You would need to leave JinBot turned on, again with a four foot radius, for 24 hours. After that the remote will be finished. However, he will still speak Korean at this point. You would then need to spend time teaching him English. Not only is he capable of learning a language, but he is also capable or learning your wants, needs, and desires."
"Ok, Raj. We're getting a little ahead of ourselves. Once I taught him English, couldn't you just then remote back in and turn off the learn function?"
"Unfortunately ma'am, that's not possible. If I turned the learn function off after JinBot learned English it would then also erase everything he had learned and he would revert back to Korean language only."
"Well shit. Fine. How long would it take to teach him English? I wanted a LoveDoll, not a giant toddler. My friend wanted, I mean."
"Yes, of course ma'am. Depending on how much you interact with JinBot he could pick up a language in three days. It really all depends on how intensive you want to be."
"Great. You've given us a lot to think about. Can I talk it over with my friend and get back to you?"
"Yes ma'am. I will give you my extension and you can call me directly when she's made a decision."
"That sounds great! Thanks for all of your help, Raj!"
"It has been my pleasure. My extension is 669. Thank you for calling LoveStyle. What's your LoveStyle?"
The phone went dead.