Requested by : MonikaTRASH (Was once one of my backup OG ideas, I thank you friendo for requesting this prompt and letting me write it :D)
ATTENTION: Please watch the video above first, this is mainly inspired by it, but not exactly the same of course. Well, you could just listen to it, it's a song and the one that will be in this oneshot. Just to get some ideas in your heads about what the tune and emotion is like >3 Thank you, danke.
Damn, y'all really love your angst huh? Lmao XDXD This literally SWAMPED the other two
(Skip to the bottom to save time from author's ranting)
I don't have much experience with writing it(that's why it's crap ;-;) but I too LOVE READING IT AND KILLING MYSELF SLOWLY FROM THE INSIDE :')))
Ehehehe most of this is written late at night, where my brain is barely awake so please forgive the mistakes and 'funny areas'(cringe worthy areas). I just came home from a overseas trip with ma fam, it was really fun. So this is kinda rushed to met the deadline I set for myself >< (Didn't write at all during the trip like i was SUPPOSED to).
Also Merry Christmas Eve everyone🎅🎄🎄🎉🎁🎁!! I hope everyone is in the good christmas cheer, and ready to have a good time!! Food, presents, fun with friends and family, plenty more!! Present opening begins in a few hours for me ahhh!! XD
I mean, if you want to, this could be considered my Christmas gift(special) to everyone? But it's not good I apologise ;-; But here, a story on the 24th of December, do it as y'all wish XDXD
YESss, I love this song so much, its so beautiful I wished someone could sing this to me I would CRY legit I almost did when I first heard it ><'. It's calming, it's sweet, it's got the right amount of sadness for our teenage angstiness to love, all in all a 100/10 song in my books. If any one dares insult German I will immediately point them to this very song and SLAP THEM don't insult me or ma friends you cyka >:(
Sorry for the smol rant I lose my train of thought oops ^^' Point is, listen to the song up there, I'm sorry for the pathetic quality of writing that is this mess of an angst, Merry Christmas Eve >3, I LOVE this song play it at my funeral, and Let's start reading shall we?
Youtube video by Li Chan :)))
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Russia stirred groggily from his deep sleep, shifting his body slightly from its stiff sleeping position. His chest felt cold, like a warm spot was moved away from it. He opened his eyes blearily, adjusting them to the soft moon-lit room.
He heard a small sound, and blinked a few times, trying to chase away his tiredness. It must have been what awoken him earlier. He looked around, trying to find the source. He was in the bedroom sprawled out in bed, the curtains were in their positions where he tugged them earlier in the night before climbing into the bed and spooning Germany from behind. Wait..Germany...
He lifted his head from his pillow, there was the sound again. His ushanka, along with Germany's glasses was still on their table, so he mustn't have left. Looking around for his lover, he spotted him a few centimeters away from him, curled up with the blanket strewn around him. Russia relaxed slightly, at least he wasn't lost like he though, Germany must have just moved away from him while he was sleeping.
The sound, a soft whimper, reached his ears again, and he turned back worried. Germany was shivering, visibling shaking as he curled around himself tighter. Russia sat up on the bed, worried and called out to him. "Германия(1)?" He whispered, looking at his shaking back. He could hear him mumbling something inaudible, continued with another cry of agony.
"Германия?!" Russia said louder, putting a hand on his shoulder, he could feel the harsh vibrations coming from the smaller country. Germany whimpered again, moving slightly away from his touch. Even more concerned than before, Russia pulled back his hand, he had to do something.
Reaching out both hands, he turned him over to face him, holding on to the slender shoulders. Germany was tightly frozen in a fetal position, his face scrunched up tightly with his clenched hands held close by, as if to protect himself. More whimpers escaped his mouth, along with fast and incoherent muttering in a mix of German and English.
"Germany, Германия, baby, you have to wake up." Russia said troublingly, cupping his boyfriend's cheek with his hand and holding him tighter. Germany only tensed and quieted, clenching his teeth as he fought his mind, his legs curled further into his body. Tears began to form between his tightly shut eyelids, and he cried out softly again.
Russia began running one hand up and down his spine soothingly, his other one still remaining at his cheek to wipe away the drops of clear liquid that were slowly trickling down. "Shhh...it's ok любовь(2). You're here, it's not real. Wake up." He coaxed gently, trying to get him to wake up from his nightmare and see that he was safe.
Germany turned to curl up against him, burying his face into the firm muscle of his stomach and gripping on to Russia's sleep shirt tightly. His eyes were clenched tight in his dream, flickering underneath his eyelids as he panicked. Russia continued whispering calming words into his ear, leaning down on his elbow and holding him securely in his arms and pressing gentle kisses on his forehead.
"I'm here Ger...I'm right here..." Germany let out a quiet sob, and hid his face deeper into his body. Russia sighed, this had to be some really bad memory. Stroking his thumb slowly over his tear stained cheekbone, Russia started to hum a small tune, slow and almost mournful in a manner.
Germany froze, his trembling stopping slowly. His death grip on Russia's black t-shirt loosed somewhat, and Russia could feel his breath hitch on his skin, the warm air stopping momentarily. He paused his humming for a second, tracing small circles on his back to help him relax. Germany exhaled slowly, whimpering softly again at the lost of the music.
The song was a lullaby, a German one that the country had 'owned' it had sung to him before, in almost the same conditions as now. Russia continued humming, the words of the song coming back to him slowly. It was in German of course, but he wanted to try, he needed to try for him. He took in a deep breath, and slowly began to sing in a soft voice.
(Bracketed words are the literal translation, for non German speakers, so y'all can understand it and cry along with the rest of us XD)
"Schlaf' ein, Schlaf' ein,Schlaf' ein"(Go to sleep x 3 XD Im lazy)
"Du gähnst schon, komm' kuschel' dich ein"(You are yawning, come cuddle up) Russia's German pronunciation wasn't exactly the best, and in no way was it was made better with his thick Russian accent. But he kept going, holding his boyfriend properly in his arms and hoisting him up to lay on his chest, tucking in his legs on his lap so he could cuddle the smaller country comfortably while sitting.
"Ich sing' dir noch ein Lied," (I'll sing another song to you)
"Ich freu' mich so, dass es dich gibt."(I'm so happy that you exist)
Germany tucked his head under his chin, his cold nose hidden in the crook of his neck. A muffled whimper escaped into the air, and he reattached his grip onto the collar of Russia's shirt, clenching it tightly. Russia cooed sadly, placing his own hand over Germany's and rubbing the back of it with his thumb gently, willing it to loosen.
He wriggling his fingers under his palm, clasping it tightly and pulling it gently away from his collar. Germany sniffled, holding onto the warm hand as firmly as possible, not wanting it to let go and leave him alone. Russia nuzzled him comfortingly, giving him another warm kiss on his temple before continuing singing softly.
"Ich wünsch' dir eine gute Nacht"(I wish you a good night)
"Wir seh'n uns wenn wieder die Sonne lacht." (See you when the sun shines again)
"Schlaf' ein, schlaf' ein, schlaf' ein," (Go to sleep x 3)
"Wir lieben dich schlaf jetzt ein." (We love you now go to sleep) Russia sang slowly, rubbing his thumb soothingly over Germany's white knuckles, and gently guided their intertwined hands to rest on his chest, letting him feel his heartbeat. He leaned back slowly to not frighten Germany, so his back was resting against the headboard of their big bed, letting the small country lay more comfortably on his chest while supporting himself as well.
"Wir lieben dich schlaf jetzt ein..." (We love you now go to sleep)
Taking a deep breath, he sighed softly, letting Germany feel his calm breathing and hopeful replicate it on his own. Caressing his back comfortingly with up and down strokes, Russia held on to his hand tightly, holding it up to his lips delicately. Germany let out a soft breath, a tear slipping out from his eye and trailing down his pale cheek, leaving behind a glistening path.
"It's alright Германия..." Russia mumbled, resting his forehead on Germany's, and taking his hand he placed it gently on his wet cheek, and covered it with his own. Germany's breath hitched, and he leaned into the touch, breathing slightly raggedly. " Es...es tut mir Leid(3)..." He whispered, so softly Russia barely caught it as it left his rawly-bitten lips.
"...Vater(4)..." Russia looked down at him, the small country was crying heavily, silent but devastating. "Oh Ger..." He whispered, and hugged him, wrapping both arms around him firmly. Germany sobbed into his chest, his hand that Russia had placed on his cheek falling down to regrip on his shirt. "Shhh..."
"Es tut mir Leid..., I'm sorry I couldn't do more..." He cried, his tears soaking through his boyfriend's shirt. Russia pressed his lips to his forehead, rocking them both back and forward, letting the distressed country cry everything out. "I'm sorry, I couldn't...*sniff* be what you wanted me to be..."
"..." Russia listened to him speak, keeping quiet but stroking his back and face comfortingly. He wasn't a stranger to a nightmare that involved either one of their parents. But at least they had each other to stand by each other's side. Germany had his quite often, and it was usually bad. Many times they had been woken up by each other crying, or frozen in a cold sweat(him) with the screams and gunshots still echoing in their minds.
"Germany..." He began, but the words fell flat on his tongue, he didn't know what to say to make him feel better. "I..." He was stopped by a sudden inhale of air, and looked down to see that the country in his lap had opened his eyes. They were red from crying, and still filled to the brim with clear tears. "Hey, hey you're here. You're safe малютка(5)." Russia said, raising both his hands to gather Germany's sweet, tearful face in his palms, lifting it up gently to met his gaze.
Germany sat on Russia's lap, staring into his eyes. "R-r-russland-d...." He breathed out, and broke down crying, using both hands to grip onto his shirt to put him closer. Russia used one hand to hug him again, the other remaining cupped at his cheek. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Мне жаль(6), I-i-i thought you were m-my father *sniff* But you're not I'm--"
"Why are you crying?" Russia hushed him, holding the back of his neck and pressing his face down on his shoulder. "It's okay, nothing's wrong, I understand--"
"I-It's n-not.." He sniffled in his shoulder, blinking his eyes fast as the tears kept on flowing down and down. "You're not him, he's gone and--" "Look," Germany felt his chin being held by two strong fingers, lifting him out of the darkness on his boyfriend's shoulder and looking blurily at his face again.
"It's ok, if you miss your dad. I... miss mine too, even though they've done so many horrible things. But they're still our parents, and we...love...them." He hesitated, he never really was good with words, he wished he could say something more to comfort Germany, with his utterly devastated and tearful gaze.
The smaller country sniffled, leaning his head down to lay his ear on Russia's chest to listen to his steady heartbeat. "I miss him..." Russia clasped their hands together in their laps. "...I know."
"I wish I could have done more, he...he had such high hopes for me. All I wanted was to make him proud...of me..." Germany sniffled, peeking up at Russia. "Did...you feel that too...with your father..?" "...yeah...that was what I wanted too." He whispered, swallowing hard and squeezing Germany's hand. Germany squeezed back, and bit his lip before speaking softly again.
"But now...they're gone. The world's better now, but...I miss my father...is that wrong..?" His words faded into the still air of the room. Germany closing his eyes as he waited for the answer. "...No. It's not wrong at all."
Russia lifted his chin again with his fingers, and they met each other's glance. "Can..can I kiss you Германия?" He mumbled, licking his lips slightly and looking down at Germany's red ones. The smaller immediately sat up on his lap, and tilted his head to attach their lips together, melting comfortably into the other. Russia hummed and closed his eyes, kissing passionately back.
Germany let go of the kiss first, opening his eyes and breathing softly. His hands were on Russia's chest, pressed against his warm pecs. Their faces were still barely a few inches apart, breathing each other's warm air. Russia sighed, peeking down at the still tear stained face of his lover.
Raising up his hand, he used his thumb to gently wipe away the tears, stroking the soft skin and taking away any trace of the salty trails. Germany leaned into his touch, resting his cheek on his palm. "Я...Я люблю тебя, Russland(7)," He said in a somewhat slurred Russian accent, looking into his lover's eyes. "Thank you for singing to me, it...means a lot to me."
Russia cracked a small smile, and lean down for another soft kiss. It was just a bare touch of their lips, but it was as meaningful as a thousand kisses to them. "Everything for you возлюбленная(8), now, schlaf ein." He said playfully and quietly, and laid back down on the bed, letting Germany remain curled up on top of him. He wasn't very heavy, so it was fine.
Germany sighed contently, and snuggled up on his warm chest, lulled to peaceful sleep again by soft singing, Russia caressing his back soothingly as he watched his eyes droop and close again. He wasn't afraid of the nightmares that haunted him, not when he had his lover by his side for tonight. Russia bent his head, and pressed a kiss on his forehead gently.
"Wir lieben dich schlaf jetzt ein..." (We love you now go to sleep...)
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Third Reich blinked quickly and sat upright on his office chair, readjusting his grip on his pen. He must have nodded off on his study table while filling out all these paperwork. Tiredly, he rubbed his face with his hand, peeking at the clock hanging on the office wall. 2 am.
His ears perked as something attracted his attention. Nazi looked up again at the direction of his door, alerted by the soft sound that was coming in through the hard wood. Slowly, he stood up, walking as quietly as possible in his boots to the door and opening it. Another sound, clearer and louder now made him turn his head down the hallway. A soft sniffle came after it, Reich slowly turned his heel and started down the carpeted hallway.
Rooms, the house's living quarters lined both sides of the walls, but only two were occupied. Nazi heard the sound again, some cloth rustling and more sniffling coming from the room down the end of the hall. He slowly walked towards it, letting his nerves relax a little that it wasn't an intruder.
The oak-wood door was as usual, cracked open just a little to make sure monsters wouldn't stay in there, because monsters are scared of the dark and the light from the hallway will make sure they will run away. But not opened too wide, or else it would be too bright and you wouldn't be able to fall asleep.
Gently, he pushed opened the door, the hinges as silent as air. Light creeped into the dim room, casting small shadows over the little desk where some colourful drawings were laying about, and onto the little bed furthest away from the wardrobe. A little lump was hidden under the cream beige blankets, moving ever so slightly with every faint breath.
Nazi smiled softly, treading carefully over to the bed. More little sniffles and whimpers escaped from under the thick blanket, and his heart softed a bit more. He sat slowly at the side of the bed, to not jar the small person curled up tightly on it. "Deutschland(9)?" He whispered softly, resting his palm on the top of the lump. The whimpers stopped, but the sniffling kept going. Nazi rubbed his hand comfortingly over, where he assumed was a small curled up back.
"Shhhh...." He shushed gently, picking the bundle up into his arms and holding the small body huddled inside close, stroking the warm back. Setting it down on his lap, he pulled away the blanket slightly that was hiding him from the little child tucked inside. Nazi sighed gently, finally seeing a red, round, tear stained face peek out of the thick blanket, the little button nose red from sniffling. A small, half clenched hand rose up from the blanket to rub at the teary eyes that flickered up and down to met the ruler's own.
"...papa..." A tiny voice cried softly. Nazi gathered his son up in his arms again, rocking them both back and forward as the tiny child country sobbed into his chest, gripping a fistful of his uniform tightly in his little hand. Nazi gently shushed him in a soothing voice, continuing to stroke his back and wipe away his tears with his thumb.
"It's alright, mein Sohn(10). Everything is alright, Papa's here..." He murmured, holding him as close as possible to his chest. He could feel the gentle warmth from the tiny body, the physical contact of his young child spreading to him as well, fueling him on and giving him strengthen.
"...papa..." The little country whimpered again, pressing his cheek to his father's firm chest and readjusting him hold on the uniform. He curled up tighter in the warm embrace, feeling a little better than before, when he was all alone in a dark cold place, where he cried for his papa, but no-one came. With that horrible thought in mind, he pressed closer, wanting to make sure his papa was actually here. Sniffling again, he rubbed away his tears that were flowing down his cheeks.
"Deutschland..." Nazi hummed softly, helping him gently wipe away the tears wetting his cheeks. How he wished those tears never had to grace those red cheeks. "Would you like me to sing, son?" He asked gently, cradling the small boy comfortably in his embrace. He received a nod immediately, and smiled. His son loved his singing somehow, it was nothing special, but it made him happy, so he keeped going with it. There was one song, that only he could sing that calmed him down every time without fail.
He cleared his throat, and holding him close to his chest, started to sing softly.
'Schlaf' ein, schlaf' ein, schlaf' ein...'
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Oof this is trash why did it turn out not the way I wanted it to be...well I only have myself to blame I guess :P And it kinda turned into a small vent im sorry--
It's really crummy, touché. I like it and I hate it, cuz the high hopes I had for it did not come through as I was writing it. All the material for angst just slipped outta my brain ^^'
Ahhhhh this isn't even the original plot I had in mindddd....I need help-- :'((
oh and can someone give me some other synonyms for 'gently'? I feel so frustrated in myself cuz I kept on using that SAME WORD augghhh I've searched it on Google believe me but NOTHING WORKS BETTER TO DESCRIBE GENTLY THAN GENTLY BUT I DON't WANNA KEEP REPeatING MA SELF T_T so if anyone has any idea on another word please tell me. You will be the saviour of my writing sanity. Thanks a million >3
Please tell me what you think of this. Some feedback, good or bad would be nice. Be blunt and criticize me. Just comment here please. Really appreciate it y'all thanks for taking some time :)
Translations:
(1) Germany
(2) love
(3) I'm sorry
(4) Father
(5) baby
(6) I'm sorry
(7) I love you, Russia
(8) Sweetheart, or beloved ><
(9) Germany?
(10) My son
A more proper English version of it is here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TD2a-19-WkY (The link's not working idk why so ye gotta copy n paste it Im afraid :P)
I really want to learn how to write angst better, so far I haven't done much to up my game in writing, I really wanna but can't seem to find time... TvT
People who get to enjoy a white Christmas : Enjoy it double for me please :D - An Asian gurl who has never seen snow before and is very jealous of you
Accept this lil kitten from me:
Byee everyone, have a nice Christmas!! :D