"Who are you?"
That was the very first thing Can heard from Ley as soon as he went to their dining table.
"What?" Can was confused.
"Mom!" Ley called their mother who was cooking in the kitchen. "P'Can is acting weird!"
Their mother came from the kitchen with trays of food. She looked at his son who frowned at Ley.
"What do you mean I am weird?" Can asked his sister.
"You're... calm?" Ley do not know how to describe him. "Why are you quiet, you annoying brother?"
"I am always calm!" Can defended as he pouted. "So shut up, okay?"
"That!" Ley pointed at his brother with a huge grin. "That's my brother!"
He rolled his eyes because can't a person just be quiet for once? It's not like he talks like a machine gun everyday. Right?
Their morning was filled with loud chatter from both siblings and their usual banter about almost everything.
"Where did you sleep the other day?" Ms. Kirakorn asked.
"I ---" Can stopped himself from spilling everything to his mom about being in the Medthanan beach resort. "I told you that I slept at Ai'Ae and Ai'Pond's dorm room."
"Were you watching porn?" Ley asked.
"We weren't!"
Both girls in Can's family laughed when they saw him being defensive.
It was a calming breakfast for Can. Although most of the time he argues with his family about the smallest of things, these moments are one of the reasons he is able to smile.
That is why thinking of Tin makes him worried. Tin does not have anyone to lean in his own house which is the very opposite of Can's.
I hope Phupha can be with Tin to cheer him up.
As both siblings get ready for school after eating breakfast, Ms. Kirakorn called his son.
"Can?"
Can turned to look at his mother.
"Are you okay?"
The question made Can want to cry. He has been so heartbroken with his decision and still he continues to worry about Tin despite his request to fix himself.
"No," Can answered in a quiet whisper. "I'm not okay, ma."
Ms. Kirakorn was quite surprised his son was able to open up easily. Despite being very talkative, Can does not usually speak when it comes to important and serious matters.
"But don't worry, I will be fine."
-
Tin was back to square one.
"I am making you choose because for once I want to be chosen. I want to be chosen this time, Can. And I want it to be you who chooses me."
But Can did not choose him.
He understands every fear and doubt Can had about what other people think.
Tin himself got afraid of what other people think about him. Until now, he always takes note of what other people say about him --- about being the undeserving Medthanan heir.
It took him years to cope up with all the insults and judgement of other people and yet he is still greatly affected by it.
Despite being ignored and unloved by his own family, there is still a part of him that craves to be called worthy as a Medthanan.
Without his prominent family name, he is nothing.
Even Tin is just a name that they never really thought of. They just named him Tin because it is similar to Tul.
Maybe his obssession of being accepted despite the cold treatment and constant reminder that he is inferior is because he wants to show his family that they all thought wrong about his potential.
True, everyone around the elite circle of society thinks he is inferior to the point that Tin believed that he is.
"You're perfect, Tin. You're all that I could ask for."
Can was the only person in the world that validated his existence.
Tin held his moon necklace as he thought about what Can feels.
He understood the suffocation Can said when bottling up all the emotions you have inside swallows your whole being.
But even then, can't Can fix himself with Tin by his side?
Can't they fight the fear together?
Can't they be each other's strength in times of doubt?
Can't they be their own clarity when everything around them is a blur of stranger's faces that judges them?
Can't they just be together as they fix their own self?
Am I not worth fighting for?
Is Tin not worth fighting for against what all the people thinks against their relationship?
If Can won't fight for their relationship, then Tin will. He needs to fight for them. After what they've been through and experienced, he won't give up.
He already knows what it is like to give up. He wanted to know what it feels like not to give up this time.
"At the end of the day, your relationship will always be worth fighting for."
-
"You're back."
Can bowed his head as he said, "I am sorry for not attending practice two days in a row, P."
"It's fine. Tin told me," Type said.
He looked up at his senior. "He what?"
"I was the one who told Tin to talk with you somewhere you can't run away."
Can thought that Tin took him to the beach resort on impulse. But he did not know that Tin actually asked permission from his seniors.
"We told the coach that you weren't feeling well," Champ said.
"Type told us that you need to talk to Tin about something important." Techno smiled. "I hope everything is okay?"
Is everything okay?
"Um..."
There was a sudden knock on their door and their coach came in.
"Let's get to practice! Don't waste time chattering!"
"Yes, coach!" everyone shouted, hurrying up to change into their football uniform.
Can purposely avoided the eyes of his three seniors and was secretly thankful for their coach to arrive at the perfect time.
For some reason, he wants to think about things by himself.
He knows he isn't good at thinking but he wants to be by himself in this matter.
He always seeked advice from his senior, Type, and he is really grateful for it. He also received advices from Ae who spoke from his very own experience.
He is thankful for their help and he knows they are all looking out for him.
Although he is in doubt about being by himself and all the decisions he might make, he decided to at least trust himself just a little.
"I trust you, Can."
He pinched his own wrist. "Focus, Ai'Can."
He is always controlled by his emotions to the point that his short-temper always flares before.
But right now, he grew to take notice of his surroundings and that the world is not as simple as he once thought.
As he tried his hardest to focus on football practice, he can't help but glance at the bleachers hoping that a certain IC student might be sitting and reading a book or taking a video of him.
He's not here.
During their practice break, there was no water bottle with a sticky note waiting for him in the bench.
Can remembered all the simple things and gestures that spoke the loudest about Tin's presence.
"Here you go."
Good had his hand outstretched, offering him a bottle of water.
"Thank you," he said, accepting the bottle.
He drank the cold water hoping it would wake him up from the feeling of being alone which was his very own choice.
His throat was dry not from being very talkative like he usually is but because of the emotions trying to choke him up all at once. It was as if he was screaming at himself mentally, like he can't breathe.
Can tried to smile wide at Good. "That was a hard practice na? Coach is making us practice like slaves."
Good looked at his bestfriend who was trying hard to be like his usual self when he knows something is wrong. "I agree."
Can was at a loss for words.
He was never like this before.
What do I talk about before?
He can't find anything to talk about with Good or anyone else. He never had problems about blurting whatever comes out of his mouth without thinking.
He wants to go back to the old and talkative and hyperactive Can but he knows for now he can't.
I can't.
-
Can looked at his phone to see no message from Tin.
He was reminded of the first time he rejected him.
It was pure loneliness.
But the situation this time is worse. Much, much worse.
Before, Can never knew his feelings and all he wanted is to have his friend back after all the confusing emotions he felt for the first time whenever he is with Tin.
This time --- this time is different.
Can understood everything from what he felt to what is Tin for him. He was never a friend to Tin but a person who he trusted the most that he was able to see all the flaws of Tin that were never really flaws for him.
And Can knew that a friend is not the kind of relationship he wants to have with Tin.
"This is just the first day," Can whispered in the darkness of his own room.
Just the first day of not being with Tin and Can cannot imagine what it feels like for the next days or weeks or months.
"This is your decision, Ai'Can."
He constantly reminded himself that it was his decision --- entirely his own.
"Just because I let you go does not mean I wanted to," Tin muttered in a soft voice.
Hidden by the darkness and overwhelmed by his emotions in his room made Can cry his heart out alone.
"Just because I let you go does not mean I wanted to."
★★★★★
Dear Reader,
Guess who is back to being a student this week? Me (╯‵□′)╯︵┴─┴
Anywaaaaays, here is another chapter!
I don't know if you all read chapter titles but making a chapter title is hard so I ended up using Kpop songs as titles after Day 1-29 😂
The chapter title and chapter itself isn't somewhat related, i think lol me dead
If you can recommend me any song then please do lmaoooo
→ Inkitt is one chapter ahead as usual! ✊
Thank you so much for the wonderful journey with 30-Day Plan! I'm eternally grateful for the support, MVPs! 💚💙💚💙💚💙
P.S. are Mean and Saint in the new TharnType series as Tin and Pete? Or was I wrong? 🤔 where did this pic come from? only saw this on twitter 😆
~N ♡