"No, you don't need me! You just want to use me!" I argued, shoving his chest back with my palms.
Harry shook his head and took a deep breath, nostrils flaring. He was too livid to control himself, but I was on the edge with everything unravelling around me that I couldn't stay silent.
"For fuck sake, Rebecca, I don't use you!" he spat, throwing his hands in the air.
I raised a brow. "Oh yeah? So that's why I have no rights? That's why I'm still your hostage?" I shot, glaring straight into his green eyes.
"You know it's not my fault!" he snapped, glaring back at me.
"Stop blaming Louis all the time because you're the one that controls this body!" I spit, poking his chest with my finger.
"No, I don't!" he scowled. "He fucking has control, okay? That's why I do all these stuff, and don't act like you don't know whilst I told you what happened only 20 fucking minutes ago."
"I really don't know, Harry," I crossed my arms. "How's that even possible? Yes, his soul was somehow connected with that damn house but you? How can he control you?" I looked at him with disbelief.
"Just like he's in your fucking head right now, Rebecca!" he yelled.
I blinked and took a step back. He was right. I was too angry, too brudal those minutes against Harry. I could see nothing but darkness around him, and maybe that's what Louis wanted me to say. He was inffluensing my brain and thoughts, and he was having a lot of fun with us fighting, I was so sure.
"Okay, I'm sorry for doubting you," I sighed heavily. "But I'm still hurt and angry with you. You just-you just murdered another person, Harry! That doesn't make you human, that makes you a murderer. Is that what you want to be forever? A murderer?" I asked, furrowing my brows.
"I told you I'm not human." he said reluctantly.
"But you are, Harry." I said, placing my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat beneath his tee and skin against my palm. His breath hitched at my sudden movement. "I know you are. But by doing all that stuff...you're just pushing away your humanity,"
"But I don't have any humanity left in me," he argued, his voice low.
"No, Harry, by lying to yourself you'll always be alone. Inhuman and alone." I said, unwillingly feeling bad for Harry.
"Rebecca.." he sighed, reaching for my hand.
I moved away from him and I saw hurt in his eyes, as a sad expression appeared on his features, green piercing eyes asking me for permission I couldn't allow.
I shook my head slowly, taking some steps backwards to put enough distance between us. I knew that by one soft touch of Harry's and I'm done. He would break me again, I would be weak enough for him to make me give in to him.
"You said you would try.." he mumbled, his hand falling down on his side again.
My breath hitched. "I-I know.."
"Then why don't you?" he said with hope in his eyes.
I whimpered and swallowed hard. How could I explain now? It was so hard for me to say it, but I knew that even if I find the right words to explain to him, he wouldn't understand. Because he simply doesn't want to understand.
"Harry..you know I can't do it anymore.." I raised my shoulders lightly and let them fall back down.
"It's even harder for me to keep my temper and you know it," he claimed, taking a step closer to me. "Don't do this. Don't give up so easily."
"I don't want to." I said honestly, since I've been trying so hard to bring back Harry's good side and now that he's finally opening himself it wasn't the right for me to give up. But go against Louis? A supernatural being that literally threatened to drown me in blood? It was way too much than I could handle.
"Then don't, Rebecca." he took another step. I took one back, seeing the hurt in his eyes flashing again before quickly being covered. "Don't be afraid of me."
"I want to trust you Harry, I really do but...you just killed another person..It's not that easy." I muttered, wiping the tears with my fingers.
"I know it's not easy, but we could try?" he suggested more than pleaded, but I couldn't say that it annoyed me that much since his voice was so soft that made my heart sink.
I swallowed again. That was so hard for me. I just watched another horrific scene of a murder in front of my eyes and the worst thing was that Harry was holding the knife.
"Trust me." he said, holding out his hand for me to take it.
Oh shit.
That was it, those two words wrecked the new wall I was building to keep away all the emotions. I knew I had to trust him so everything I fought for all those weeks would be worth it, but it was so difficult. Trust the devil? Trust the murderer?
"Don't fail me again." I said, raising my index finger in the air in a demanding gesture.
"I won't." he said firmly, bringing his hand closer to me.
Staring at his large hand, I couldn't stop but think how many lifes did those hands take away. Blinking my tears away, I took his hand and felt the same bolt of electrecity and overwhelming feeling through me, making the butterflies in my stomach dance.
"Thank you." he breathed and pulled me in for a tight embrace, my face hidden in his chest.
I cried silently in his chest, trying to be as quiet as possible so he won't hear my sobs, even though he saw me crying countless times. Feeling my heart aching, I squeezed Harry's hand, as if trying to sooth the pain, wich actually worked. I tried to understand how's that even possible, touching Harry and forgetting pain when he's the one that brings it in my body and soul.
"Don't kill anyone else, Harry, please.." I begged, a sob leaving past my lips in the middle of the sentensce.
Harry's chest rose and fall under my face, wich meant he took a deep breath. He rested his chin on the top of my head, strong arms hugging me tightly.
"I'll try my best, Rebecca." he muttered.
A knock on the door made Harry groan and me pull away a little to take a glance at the door. I looked up at Harry the same time he looked down at me, our eyes emmidiately locking and making my stomach twist. I saw worry and distress in his eyes, since I knew he was still not sure about the whole thing of me trusting him and him not killing someone.
Sighing, he pulled away and glared at the door. I gulped and quickly walked towards the door to answer it, since Harry was too angry to talk to someone else that wasn't me.
I opened the door to be greeted by a brunette girl with stunning green eyes staring at me blankly. I gave her a weird look and she looked past me, her eyes landing on Harry.
"Shit," Harry grumbled and I glanced at him over my shoulder.
He walked lazily through the room and came to stood next to me, his eyes staring directly to the brunette. I couldn't help the small wave of envy that washed through me, but at least I managed to ignore it.
"Everything okay?" Harry demanded, crossing his arms.
"Everything's been just like you ordered, sir." the girl said flatly, making me want to laugh.
"Nobody noticed?" Harry asked, leaning in a little.
"Nobody, sir."
I let a snort and Harry gave me a weird look. I shook my head and looked away, biting my lip in order to keep back the laugh. Someone calling Harry 'sir' was so funny to me.
"Good. Now forget everything and get back to what you were doing." Harry compelt her, moving his hand.
The brunette girl nodded and walked away, wich only meant she had already forgot everything. Curiousity took the best of me as I closed the door, leaned my back against it and asked Harry:
"What did you compel her to do?"
Harry rolled his eyes and rubbed his temples, already annoyed and tired of my multiple questions. Holding back the laughter, I crossed my arms and waited for his answer.
"She uh, she cleaned the mess and got rid of the body," he blurbed, making me widen my eyes.
"Even though that really annoyed me, I'm gonna walk past it and hope it's the last time you're compeling someone to clean your mess," I said reluctantly.
"Are you judging me, Rebecca?" he tried to hide the smirk but failed.
"No, sir." I teased, causing him to chuckle, dimples digging into his cheek, making him look like an angel, even though he was the worst angel someone could ever imagine.
...
"I seriously don't know anything about history," I laugh lightly, shaking my head, my hand playing with the fork on my plate.
"Really? Like, nothing at all?" Harry questions, seeming a little unconvinced.
"Harry, I'm honest. I never liked history-or maths, God I hate maths!" I admited, causing him to laugh louder.
Having lunch with Harry on the balcony and a conversation about our school lifes brought us to this state: laughing about what a failer I am with history and maths.
"I never liked maths either," Harry agreed, taking a bite of his meatball.
"They're just so complicated-so not my thing actually." I said before eating a fried potato.
"I know." Harry said, a lazy grin plastered on his face.
"So, did you get yourself a phone?" I changed the subject, sitting straight.
He shook his head and furrowed his brows. "No, not yet."
"So you are buying a phone." I said, pointing at him with my fork.
"Guess so, yeah," he shrugged, locking eyes with me for a couple of seconds before staring back at hia food.
"Mhmm, and who are we actually going to call?" I asked, a hint of sarcasm in my voice.
He shrugged again. "Don't know."
"Oh great, we're going to have phones but for no use." I sarcastically said.
Harry raised a brow and looked up at me. "Who would you like to call?"
I swallowed my food, looking away nervously. Shit, how was I supposed to answer now? Will my answer upset him? Probably.
"I-I missed Niall, to be honest.." I mumbled, looking down at my plate.
"Hmm." he hummed, bringing the unease back to the pit of my stomach. "And tell him what?"
Really, tell him what? I didn't know the answer to this question too, since I didn't want to lie to Niall but I couldn't tell him the truth either. And the thought of him asking me about the other guys...and Zayn...it hurt.
"I..I don't know..We would find something to talk about. I mean, he's Niall," I chuckled lightly. "He always seems to have something to say."
Silence fills the air between us, making me feel a little nervous. Trying to ignore it, I played with my food as I felt Harry's gaze on me. I seriously felt my stomach closing, I knew I couldn't swallow anything down.
"You care a lot about him, don't you?" he broke the silence, his voice sending chills down my spine.
I nodded, not meeting his gaze. I felt my cheeks flush and a lump appeared in my throat. I sighed and looked up at the dark sky, the stars seeming like beautiful diamonds that decorate the sky.
"Harry?" I asked confidently, but my voice was still a little scared.
"Hmm?"
"What are we doing?" I finally looked at him.
He ran a hand through his hair and dumbed his fork on his plate loudly before lazily leaning back on the couch, hands resting on his lap. I kept staring at him and how beautiful he looked with the night creating a shadow covering half of his sharp features.
"Trying to...build trust?" he said, unsure if it was right or wrong.
I sighed out of frustration. That was not what I wanted to hear him say. Trying to build trust? Like duh, we've been trying for over a month now.
A month.
Wow, a month of freedom's been already taken away from me so fast.
"Harry, we've been trying this since the night you brought me to the city." I said flatly, a little annoyed by his answer.
"Really?" he asked surprised, surprising me too.
I raised my eyebrows. "You didn't realize?" I asked, my stomach tightening even more.
"No?" he said in a way as if I was stupid.
My heart fell down to my chest. Another proof. Yes, that was another proof that he has no clue about my feelings and how much I try about him.
"Aha," I said emotionlessly. I left the fork on my plate and crossed my arms over my chest, looking away from him.
I couldn't believe he had no clue. Like, I know I didn't have a chance than being around him either way, but I really tried so hard to show to him that I trust him. How many times did I let him take my hand, touch my skin, kiss me? Wasn't that clear to him?
"Aren't you going to eat?" he asked frustrated.
"I'm done," I spit reluctantly, standing up and walking back inside the room.
"Rebecca," he said and I came to a halt but didn't turn to look at him. I just took a glance at him from my shoulder. "You're mad at me now?"
I felt a wave of rejection washing through me. I tried my best to keep my face as emotionless as I could before shrugging lightly.
"No Harry, I'm not mad at you." I said and walked towards my bed, leaving him on the balcony.
I brushed my teeth a little faster than necessary, since I just wanted to go to bed and sleep, forget about what happened today by dreaming and living in another life.
I couldn't help but feel frustrated and angry. Mad wasn't the right word. All this time, all those days of trying to make Harry feel, to make him unserstand that he can be normal and I was so close to my succeed but then bam, Harry just conffesed me he had no clue that I was trying for not only him, but us.
Hiding my face in the pillow and pulling the blanket up to my chest, I did not cry, but whispered quietly to myself:
I'm not mad at you Harry, I'm done with you.
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A/N: Rebecca's made a desicion..Hmm, let me know what you think about what's gonna happen next? Thanks for reading! Love you ❤