I gasped for air as I sat up on the bed and opened my eyes. I was breathing heavily and my heart was racing, like she was going to break any moment with each beat.
It took me a couple of seconds to understand where I was. The hotel room. I blinked a few times and looked to my left.
And there he was.
Sitting on his bed across from me, his elbows resting on his knees and hands folded, eyes staring at me intensively. He was wearing black skinny jeans and a white tee. I gulped and felt the fear rosing inside me again, my throat was hoarse and it hurt me when I was swallowing.
“Rebecca—”
“Don't.” I cut him off, raising my hand. “Don't say my name.”
He furrowed his brows. “I know you're upset—“
“Upset?” I huffed and felt my lower lip trembling. “I-I'm not upset.”
“Then what? Scared? Mad?” he tilted his head to the side.
“Both.” I answered, my voice low.
He took a deep breath and furrowed his brows, as if thinking of my answer. He swallowed and ran a hand through his hair before glancing from his shoulder at the balcony.
I followed his eyes and saw the table with food placed between the couches. Wait...he wanted me to eat dinner with him?
“I asked to bring the food here so we could eat at the balcony..” he murmured.
I tightened my grip on the covers and hugged my knees to my chest. I took a deep shaky breath to stop my uncontrolable breathing and restwd my forehead against my knees.
“I'm not hungry.” I mumbled.
“No. I'm not going to accept that one. You'll eat.” he demanded and I pressed my lips in a tight line.
“I don't want to.” I argued, my voice was shakey.
“Rebecca!” he yelled and I clenched my jaw.
I was too angry with him. I couldn't stand it anymore. I felt my weak body shaking under the covers with fear and fury, one of the worst mixes that could take over me.
Using enough power, I pulled back all the covers and stood up, my feet hitting hard the cold floor. I noticed I was wearing a black tank top and black shorts, butI didn't care at all.
“You want me to eat?” I growled at him as he stood on his feet too and walked past him.
I walked in a quick pace and stepped out on the balcony. Staring at the table full of food, my eyes landed on the two glasses of wine, wich reminded me only of one thing; blood.
The painful memory of Zayn's body lying on the floor with one eye missing and the blood covering his face flashed behind my eyes and I felt the anger taking over me.
Walking over the table, I looked at Harry staring at me in the doorway of the glass doors. I gave him a glare and grabbed the table, pulling it up and throwing it down, all the foods and drinks lying on the floor and creating a loud noise.
He looked at me surprised and raised his brows as he stared at the food before he stared up at me and gave me an emotionless expression.
“You happy now?!” I yelled and rested my hands on my hips.
He didn't respond, he kept staring at me blankly. He digged his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heel, giving me a challenging stare.
“I don't want anything anymore!” I exclaimed and he furrowed his brows.
“I do.” he said calmly with his deep voice.
“What? What do you want?” I asked with angry voice.
“Something only you can give me.”
“And what is that? Huh? What else could I possibly have that you still didn't steal from me?!” I said exasperatedly and took a step forward.
“Stop challenging me. You know you're not going to win.” he smirked.
“Win?” I let a humorless laugh. “I have nothing to win, right?”
He didn't respond but he looked very serious. Droplets of rain fell on my face but I didn't care if was going to rain, I was too angry to think about it.
“Because just like you said, I don't have rights, isn't this right, Harry?” I said with sarcasm in my voice.
“Where are you taking it?” he murmured and narrowed his black eyes at me.
“Stop giving me all the blame, Harry!” I yelled and felt new unwelcomed tears burning my eyes.
“I'm not.” he murmured.
“You're not?” I huffed and ran a hand through my messy wet hair. “You are always punishing me for literally no reason!”
“Why are you saying that?”
“Because whatever I do annoys you!” I threw my hands in the air desperately.
“You're wrong.” he stated.
“No, actually I'm not.” I argued and wiped the first tear that fell from my eye with the back of my hand.
“When I stay silent, you are mad. When I cry you are angry. When I talk you are upset. What the hell do you want me to do?!” I said counting on my fingers.
He smiled a little but that only made me feel frustrated because he seemed as if he was amused by my situation.
“Do you think that's how I want it to be? Do you think I want you to always cry like that?” he threw his hand towards me.
“Yes? Since you're always the reason I cry, your actions, your words, everything you do.” I sighed heavily and ran another hand through my hair.
“It's not how you see it..” he murmured and I raised my brows.
“Oh yeah? And how is it then?” I crossed my arms.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his eyes looking anywhere but me. It was the first time I saw him that stressed.
“I'm not the one who does that.” he mumbled and I let a huff.
“Oh right, I'm the one that always takes the blame on the shoulders.” I rolled my eyes.
“No, you're not.” he snapped. I knew it was a matter of time before he would lose his temper. “I'm the one that lost almost everything! The only thing I still have is—“ he stopped himself and pressed his lips in a tight line.
“What? What's left? Because I want to know that at least one of us has still something since I lost everything I had.” I raised slightly my shoulders and let them fall again. We were both completely soaked now as the rain got harder.
“I-I can't say it..” he murmured and looked down.
“Yes, yes you can! I want to hear it!” I yelled and he clenched his jaw.
“Don't press me, Rebecca!” he shouted back, turned on his heel and walked back into the suite.
“No! Tell me right now what's left, Harry! Because I'm sick of always lowering myself!” I followed him inside and glared the back of his head.
“No, no, no! I can't say it!” he shook his head and turned to glare at me.
I wasn't going to stop. I was too angry with him. He took everything from me and killed my best friend only a couple of hours ago. It was too much pressure to my heart wich was stabbed with countless painful memories. My soul couldn't take it.
“Why?! What's wrong, Harry? You're weak?” I snapped and he fisted his palms.
“Don't call me like that.” he said through gritted teeth.
“But you are. Just like I am. I'm your toy! I'm nothing! You took everything I wished that could be safe! You killed Zayn! My best friend! And you didn't even care about me!" I threw my hands in the air and cried.
“I know, Rebecca! You don't have to say it all the time!” he roared, the vains popping on his neck.
“Of course I have! You should be ashamed! You should be embarassed you're still standing in front of me and trying to get on top!” I screamed and felt my throat hurting me like knifes.
“Fine! You wanna know what's left?” he said and I sighed heavily.
“Yes, finally!”
“You! You're all that's left of me!” he shouted and I sucked in a breath.
I blinked at him, taking some steps backwards. I wasn't expecting that kind of answer. I'm all that's left of him?
“You m-mean I'm your toy..I'm a part of a plan..” I stammered and he shook his head, his features showing sadness.
“No, Rebecca. That's just—“
“Stop lying, Harry!” I cried and he tugged his lower lip between his teeth.
“That's why I'm still alive, isn't it? Because you want to use me for something! First it was that damn key, what's next, Harry? Me stealing a car?!” I walked past him.
“Yes, you are a part of a plan and since the plan is succeeded and I don't need you anymore.” he spit and I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, not even daring to turn around and look at him.
“But you still have me kept as a hostage..” I said through sobs.
“It's not my desicion.” he said, his voice cracking.
I frowned. The way his voice said those words...something wasn't right...Slowly and hesitentaly, I turned around to find him only a few feet away from me, in his hand a knife.
I gasped at the sight of it and felt my heart racing. I gulped and fisted my palms on my sides, not that I was going to punch him, I was just too scared.
“W-what are you doing, Harry?” I stammered and he pressed his lips in a tight line.
“If I don't do it he will..” he murmured and I furrowed my brows.
“Who?” I asked quietly.
He took a deep breath and a step closer to me. “He's gonna torture you again..and he won't show mercy..”
“What are you talking about, Harry? Who else's gonna hurt me?” I asked confused.
He took another step closer. “He never liked you. That's why he wanted to keep you away from me, and there's only one way to do that.”
I immidiately understood what he meant. “You're going to kill me...” I whispered with fear.
He nodded and took another step closer to me. I took three steps back and hit my back against the wall. Oh shit. I couldn't escape.
“I always saved you by giving you my blood but he was always mad at me.” he said in a low voice and came and stood in front of me like a flash.
I let a small scream and covered my mouth with my hands, my watery eyes locked with his. This was it. I could see determination in those dark eyes. He wanted to kill me, and he would gladly do it.
“But all this time you let me live...why can't you do it again..?” my voice was muffled by my hands that I pulled away after I finished.
“Because he's going to hurt you Rebecca!” he shouted in my face and I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds.
I didn't know why I was so scared to die. I was so close to death so many times, I felt even worse than someone who was about to die. The pain Harry brought to my soul was horrific and I couldn't do anything to heal my wounds in my heart.
He broke me.
He made me live with fear and anxiety and he took away my rights. He also murdered my friends, in front of my eyes. He killed innocent people, he forced me to steal a key from a house, he used me for his plan, he took pleasure of me by hurting me physically but he didn't care if the real wounds was from the inside. He made me feel guilty for not being able to protect my friends, he made me feel guilty for not being able to say the truth to the others, that the real source of pain was him and only him.
Really, what's the point of keep living when I don't have anything to live for? Why stay alive and live a life full of fear, pain, tears, no rights and unease? Why stay alive when all of my friends are dead and I don't even have my family to be here for me? Why stay alive when I don't have anything to fight for? Life didn't have a meaning to me and I understood that at that moment when Harry was standing in front of me with the knife in his hand.
“Kill me.”
His eyes widened and he gasped. He wasn't expecting me to say that but I was determined to go through this too. Because I knew that by being dead, I wouldn't have to go through all this pain again. It was too much for me, I was already broken to stand any more of this.
“What?” he whispered and I felt the tears soaking my shirt.
“Kill me. There's nothing left for me to fight for. Just...do it.” I said, my voice cracking at the end.
“You want me to kill you?” he asked shocked and I saw pain and worry in his eyes.
“That's what you want too, right? That's what you wanted to do from the start! You almost drowned me! You stabbed me! You liked it and you reminded me that you had my life in your hands everyday so what stops you now?!” My voice was escalating and my heart was beating like crazy.
“Rebecca—“
“Don't! Stop it, Harry! You want to kill me and I want to die because I'm too broken to stand it anymore! Just dig the knife straight into my heart!” I cut him off, the salty tears connecting with my swollen lips.
He looked like he was reconsidering it. I could see an inner battle through his head and I saw how scared he was for a minute. I couldn't wait anymore because with each second he stood frozen I started to have doubts if I really wanted to die or not.
“Go on, Harry! Kill me!” I shouted and he closed his eyes shut as he raised the knife.
“Kill me!” I screamed and my voice echoed in the air around us, creating an intense aura.
His hand that was holding the knife was shaking and the vains popped on his forearms. I felt like I was betraying myself and my dead friends but I didn't care, I wanted to dissapear.
He suddenly dropped the knife and I sucked in a breath as it landed on the floor between us. I stared at him shocked as he lowered his hand and shook his head. He snapped his eyes open and locked them with mine.
“I'm not going to kill you, Becca.” he said and took my face between his hands, crashing his lips against mine.
(A/N: Give me some of your craziest comments haha!! Thank you for 6K reads, you guys rock :) xx)