Daniel
"I want my mom!" Rose cried, her head was resting on my shoulder and there was absolutely fuck all that I could do about it and that hurt, I was supposed to be her security guard, her eyes. I should have been on the lookout for threats but after such a long time of being together we became friends. I became complacent!
"I know Rosey-'' She cried louder, kicking my stomach as I lifted her up into my arms and towards one of the bedrooms in the safehouse. I was not leaving her side, I had already allowed for momma bear's life to be severely endangered because of my complacency, the same was not going to happen to her.
I placed her on the bed and she rolled and fussed, I couldn't blame the poor kid but she needed to sleep. My phone buzzed with a call, Rose looked over at me expectantly, I picked it up.
"She's fine." Alex breathed, his voice slightly muffled by the mask that he was presumably wearing in the hospital.
I swallowed back tears of relief. "That's great to hear, are you staying there or-" I left it open for him to respond, we were in a safehouse. Rose didn't know that, she thought that this was my house.
"I've got to leave. They won't let me stay because of Covid, so I'm heading over there now. Is Rose okay?" He asked and I sighed, looking at the bloodshot and bleary eyes of the young girl.
"She wants her mom. She'd probably feel better if she spoke to you."
Alex mumbled a 'yes' and I put the phone on speaker and let Alex speak to Rose, attempting to calm her until he got here.
👑★👑
The door screeched open, reminding me of the eerie sound of the chalk on the chalkboard as the teachers at my childhood sunday school tried to teach us about God and why he would be so disappointed and angry if we didn't follow a hetronormative agenda. Obviously not worded so fruitfully and more of a'if you are gay you will go to hell' kinda thing and a 'have children with your partner who was assigned the opposite sex at birth and have children to please our lord and savour' despite in theory that God being worshiped by most monotheistic religions.
"Daniel." Alex called and I left Rose's side and walked down the stairs to find Alex crumpled on the sofa, blood staining his clothes and his hair a mess. His eyes resemble that of his daughters and I am more than sure my own. It's rather hard to remain stoic when you love that which you are protecting. "I know who did it."
"Who?" I asked, impatient and enraged.
Alex kneaded his temples, the fatigue playing on his face. "The Italians."
"But you signed a contract with them."
A long exhale left Alex as he groaned, "No that was the Sicilians, once upon a time they were united but now they're not. The Sicilians have more influence but the Italians have more man power.The Italians can do whatever the fuck they want to us and we can do whatever the fuck we want to them."
I paused, trying to think this through but my brain was all over the place and being able to form any sort of organised train of thought was thrown out of the window several hours ago.
"Do you know who to attack?" Alex nodded.
His eyes met my own, he didn't want any of this, he was tense. His mouth had formed a hardened line before he spat out, "Diego Lombardi."
I sighed, running a hand through my too-long hair. "You need a break Alex, I'm sorry if I am speaking out of place but you look like shit. You need to see your daughter and get some sleep."
Alex groaned, the tension on his face growing. "I don't! I need revenge. They should know better than to hurt what is mine, Fleurie was mine to protect and I failed her."
"No she isn't." I glanced over my shoulder where I spotted a pink and brown figure moving. I waited for Rose to approach her father.
"Daddy." Rose spoke, her voice small and tired. Alex looked at her for a moment before he stood and swept her up in his arms, checking her for any injuries and generally making sure that she was okay.
"Rose, princess." He spoke. The tension breaking and the emotions beginning to break free from their steel enclosure. "You should be asleep, baby." He told her and she shook her head.
"I can't. Where is mommy?" She asked and like that the steel snapped in two. His face softened and his eyes filled with tears.
"She's in the hospital.C'mon baby, let's get you to bed." He spoke before carrying her upstairs. I laid back on the sofa, running my hands over my face.
Please God, pull through momma bear I thought, if anything happened to her I would not be able to cope. I could not watch Rose go through that. She was like family to me, as was Fleurie. She had to be okay.
👑★👑
Momma bear had been in the hospital for three weeks and it was getting harder to calm Rose, because of Covid, visits were few and far between but thankfully she was coming home. We'd since moved back into Alex's home and Rose had started attending a preschool. Alex would take her every morning, call the hospital for information, call me with the information and then go to work. I would then pick Rose up from school whilst Alex handled the other side of business and would be back for dinner, see Rose off to bed and then head out to collect shipments and then be back at his home at eleven. He was running himself ragged. Hopefully with momma bear coming home, everything would calm down and he would take a break because my God was he grouchy when he was tired.
"Precious cargo coming through." I heard Alex's voice ring out and I sprinted out of the kitchen and towards the front door. Fleurie was in a wheelchair, her brown locks tied back tightly in a bun. Her skin had lost it's norml glow and it had been replaced with a dry and dim one. Her eyes were blank and dark.
"Momma bear!" I cried, rushing to her side. She smiled, it was fake, it held no emotion, damned Aquarius always holding their emotions away from everyone else but always willing to listen to everyone else's problems. I hugged her, she rested her head on my shoulder for a moment before I pulled away and then said, "You and I are having a chat later, but Alexander over here hasn't slept properly in three weeks so maybe convince him to do that." Fleurie nodded before Alex continued through the house with her.
She was hiding from her pain, hiding from her fear. That was not going to be the case, it was all going to come out some way or another and the sooner the better.
If anyone would be able to talk her through her trauma from this it would be me, at this point I'm collecting different types of trauma and psychological issues the way that people collect titles.
Daniel Isiah Hawthorne, RT (Religious trauma), CT (Childhood Trauma), AI (Abandonment issues), PT (Parental Trauma) etcetera.
This was hard, it was far from something that she was going to bounce back from quickly, it wasn't something that would be healed quickly. It would take time, a lot of talking and revisiting it, a hell of a lot of ice cream to eat whilst talking through it.
👑★👑
"Daniel, she's ready to see you." Alex spoke, he was in his pajamas, a tired smile resting on his lips.
I almost sprinted up to their room, Fleurie was curled up on the bed, her hand brushing over where the bullet tore through her skin. I didn't knock, since she was expecting me. Her gaze flickered over to me, nothing more than a sad frown resting on her lips.
"Momma bear." I spoke and she turned towards me, I watched as the light from the window illuminated the tears that were running down her face and before I could even process that I was embracing her in a tight hug. She had been there for me through every break up in France, through every nightmare, through every down moment and now I had to be here for her.
"Danny." She whispered, still curled up tightly. "I lost it." I stilled, giving her a moment. "I lost my baby."
I pulled her closer, brushing her hair back from her face,
"I'm sorry, I am more than sure that you are sick of hearing it but I mean it from the bottom of my heart momma bear, I am so so sorry."
"Dan, I-I." I sat up, pulling her up with me. "I'm scared. I'm so scared and I don't want to let Alex know because he did all of this for me and Rose but-"
Her sobs cut her off. They were awful soul wrenching sobs that tore my heart out of my chest.
"Fleurie, look at me." I said and she directed her teary gaze up to me, "In and out, one breath at a time." She followed my instructions and slowly worked herself into a rhythm of breathing. "You need to speak to Alex, he will understand. You were shot in your garden, one you have been in hundreds of times, with your daughter, with him, with me. Stuff like this doesn't go away easily and you need to have this conversation with him. Especially if you two are getting married anytime soon."
Fleurie nodded, her head low. "I understand. Thanks Danny."
I smiled at her, "Now it is time to make you laugh. Did I ever tell you the story of when I emailed a philosophy and theology professor to spite my Sunday school teacher when I was twelve?"
She shook her head,
"Well it is about time that told you."