Nine months. Nine stinking months since my wish had pulled Annalise and I into this alternate universe. Only three months since Eleanor and I had had our little talk and Annalise had come back to the hotel room with dried tears. I never did find out about what had happened between her and Liam that made her cry, but whatever it was hadn't managed to get between them. They were still madly in love with each other and I was still left to watch like some creep who wished to be in Liam's place. God, I needed to get a life or something because I was still enamored by Annalise and it couldn't possibly be healthy. I mean, I read something once that said that if you fancy someone for longer than four months than you're in love with them; if that's true then I am fucked.
The boys and I had been doing well; we did the small gigs at our schools and they went really well. Liam actually talked to Henna Studios about my whole YouTube idea, and they surprisingly agreed that it would be a good way to help more people see us. So, we had posted videos of us singing some songs (I had recommended all of the songs we did for X-Factor back in the real reality). The responses to the videos were amazing, and we had become very popular within the last two months. Granted, our fan base was still made up of hormonal teenage girls, but I wouldn't change that for the world.
My mum had called multiple times to praise me on my success, and it was nice to hear from her and my sisters. I had told her about my predicament with Annalise, and she offered me her sympathy. Of course, she stressed the fact that she wanted to properly meet Annalise as soon as she could in order to determine whether or not she was worthy of me. I had assured her that Annalise was more than worthy, and-if anything-I might not be worthy of her.
It was June, and the dreary weather had made another appearance. It had been raining on and off throughout the whole week. In result of that, the air outside was cold during the day, and downright bitter during the night. London was deciding to be difficult for us, because we had originally planned on having a few days to relax and go places that required walking around the city. However, none of the boys really wanted to go around the city when it was almost always rainy and cold. So, they stayed inside with their respective girlfriends and I was left to stare at the TV until Annalise was back from her dates with Liam.
Today, I refused to sit around all day and just act like a zombie. The extra sleep was nice these days, but I was sick and tired of just sitting in bed all day and staring at a screen. There wasn't anything good to watch anyway. So, I had grabbed my coat after Annalise and Liam left for another one of their dates, and I walked down the streets of London until I reached a store that looked interesting. Sure, I didn't buy anything from them, but I was having fun browsing the different things until I heard loud giggles coming from behind me.
When I looked behind me, there was a group of teenage girls huddled nearby a display case. They were looking towards me, and when they saw me looking their way they all let out a collective squeal. It wasn't an annoying sound; actually, I had missed all of the screaming, squealing, and giggling of our fans from the other reality. So, a smile made its way onto my lips, and when they saw it they must have gained the confidence to make their way towards me. "Hi," the first one greeted me with a shy smile while the other three girls were still huddled behind her. She was a tall girl with jet black hair and bright blue eyes. Freckles dotted her cheeks and a few were reaching her nose, but they weren't nearly as extensive as Annalise's freckles.
"Hello, love," I replied with a wide and friendly smile. I almost forgot about how elating it was to greet fans. There was just something about the way that they smiled at you; they had a glimmer in their eyes that made you feel like you had just handed them the world on a silver platter. It was fun to see that glimmer in their eyes. These girls practically went weak in the knees when I used the word 'love.'
"You're Louis Tomlinson, right?" one of the other girls, a brunette, asked.
I nodded and added a, "I am. What are your names?"
"Addy," the brunette supplied with a wave of her hand.
"Judith," the girl who had said hi to me told me, and then she motioned towards the other two girls who hadn't spoken yet. They looked too nervous to even open their mouths, though. "They're Gloria and Lavern."
"It's very nice to meet all of you girls," I smiled, and Gloria and Lavern seemed to be close to swooning. I was hoping that they wouldn't faint; they looked like they could at any moment.
"We were wondering if we could all get a picture with you and maybe some autographs," Judith proposed the idea, and I immediately nodded. They weren't the first fans to approach me and ask for pictures or autographs, but I found these girls a little refreshing in some way. They weren't obnoxiously excited (the two girls who were close to fainting were quiet about their excitement), and they seemed like very nice girls. Plus, they didn't seem like they were trying to be flirtatious or anything; they were all wearing modest clothing and they weren't making any provocative comments (trust me, I had already had a few girls try these tactics).
"Of course," I agreed even as I nodded and they wasted no time in crowding around me and finding someone to take a picture of all of us. Then, I surprised them by asking for the person to take a picture of us all on my phone as well. By the time they had scuttled away from me with their pictures and autographs, all of us were smiling like idiots. Boy was I glad that I had chosen to get out of the hotel tonight.
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I pulled off my jacket as I approached the door to Annalise and I's hotel room and slid the room key into its slot. I was humming all of the while because I was still running on the left over happiness from earlier. When I shut the door and turned around, though, I froze in my spot and sort of just looked at what was in front of me. "Annalise..." I trailed off as I walked towards her to see if my eyes were deceiving me. They weren't. Tear trails littered her cheeks and were made painfully visible by her runny and smudge mascara. The red dress she had left in was now ruffled up as if she had slept in it. The only thing that was normal about what I was seeing were her heels which had been haphazardly dropped on the hotel room floor. "Annalise, what happened?"
Her expression, which had been one of a deer caught in the headlights of a car, now pulled into a false smile. "Nothing, I'm fine," she lied, and I just shook my head at her before walking back towards the bathroom. I grabbed a wash cloth, wet it under the faucet, and then walked back out to sit on her bed beside where she stood. The smile fell from her face when the need to sniffle became too much, and she sighed while saying, "not fooled?"
"You've got mascara all over your cheeks, Annalise," I told her to answer her question. My hand found hers, and I tugged on her arm so that she would sit down next to me. Once she was seated, I wiped her cheeks clean even though she made faces at me when I scrubbed a little too hard. "So, was it Liam?" I wondered once her face was clear of the streaks.
"Why do you always think that it's Liam?" she cross examined, and I shrugged in response even though it should've been obvious. She came back in a similar state that one night, and maybe whatever had happened then had happened again.
"Was it your mum?" she sighed heavily at that one and I knew that I had guessed correctly. My shoulders slumped a little; I was preparing myself for the worst. Maybe her mum had called and said some nasty things to her... "What about her?"
"I got a call from the Doncaster police station," she whispered sadly, and my brows furrowed in confusion until she went on, "apparently, they've been trying to contact me all day...They found my mother in our home when they were investigating a missing persons report for her, and she had hung herself in her bedroom." I sucked in a breath of surprise just as she started to choke up. By the time she had finished explaining, her voice broke, and a small sob left her mouth even though she tried to stop herself from crying. I pulled her into my arms carefully, and I let her soak the shoulder of my shirt with tears. One of my hands brushed through her hair, and the other rubbed her back soothingly. For a while, I didn't say anything; I just let her cry. "It's all my fault, Louis," she cried, and her words managed to halt every single muscle in my body.
When I finally could speak, I was quick to deny the statement. "Don't you dare blame yourself for this, Annalise, not after everything she did to you."
"But Louis," she was at that point in crying where you run out of air and find yourself trying to gasp in more even though you're a blubbering mess. I didn't like to see her cry; it was a heart breaking thing to watch. "If I had just sucked it up and taken her to the mental hospital then she would've been taken care of properly," I almost couldn't understand what she was saying because she was stuttering so much.
"No, Annalise," I insisted before kissing the top of her head and resuming the comforting motions that I had been doing before, "you don't know that. She still could've done this. It's not your fault; you didn't make her do this." My words appeared to put her at ease, because she began to settle down while mumbling a 'thanks, Lou,' under her breath. When she had managed to stop crying and turn to sniffling softly, I asked, "is there anything I can do?"
She pulled away from my embrace in order to look up at me, "You've done a lot by being here, Louis."
"I'm always going to be here if you need me," I assured her, wiping away some of the stray tears on her cheeks. She gave me a small smile before I spoke again, "what do you want to do? Cuddle?" I didn't really care if she wanted me to jump over the moon in order to make her feel better; I was just hoping that she didn't say that she wanted Liam.
She thought about my question for a moment before answering, "I want to forget. I want it to all go away, even if it's only for a moment; I want to forget all of this shit."
"There's a pub just down the street," I proposed when I remembered walking past the small little pub today. She nodded, grabbing my hand and urging me to stand from the bed and follow her. "Wait," I halted her before heading to my dresser, picking out one of my white and black t-shirt, and grabbing my wallet. I was past the point of being too uncomfortable to do certain things around Annalise; we had been friends for almost a year now, after all. So, I pulled off the shirt I had been wearing and put on the tank top instead before grabbing a jacket. Once she saw that I was done, she grabbed my hand again and led me to the door so that we could leave.
Five drinks later at the nearest bar, and Annalise was in a fit of giggles next to me. I had only had one quick drink; I didn't want to get drunk and end up telling her something that I would regret. Even if she probably wouldn't remember it, I didn't want to take the chance. She was saying lots of things, though, in her drunken state which threw discretion to the wind. "So, how are you and Liam doing?" I asked. There were less and less people in the pub, so I think that it was getting close to closing.
"We're great," she slurred out with a wide smile, "well, besides the fights and everything. You know, he's sweet and stuff." The words didn't make me happy like I thought that they would. So, I nodded in response and let her go back to her somewhat pointless babbling and giggling. When she went to grab what was left of my drink, I swatted her hand away and she gave me a pout.
"No more, you've already had a lot," as I said the words her pout intensified, and I had to look away from her in order to resist the urge to give in, "no, I don't want to have to take you to the Emergency Room for Alcohol Poisoning."
"You suck," she groaned in reply when I let go of her wrist.
"I'd prefer not to," I joked, and she snorted while giving my chest a playful push. The quiet music stopped and a voice called over the small chattering in the pub to tell everyone left that they would be closing soon. Annalise's smile fell when she heard the words, and a long sigh left her lips like the small whisper of a child's prayer.
"I guess we should be getting back to the hotel."
"Why?" I wondered, not wanting to go back just yet. I had never seen this side of Annalise before; she was being so honest right now and she wasn't annoyed by me at all. If anything, she was acting like me. "Why do we have to go back? Let's just go around town, have some fun." Her smile grew with each of my words, and she was practically shaking with excitement when I had finished.
"Then, let's go slow poke!" she exclaimed in excitement while dragging me towards the door. I chuckled and let her pull me along into the cold night air. She had no problem in hailing a taxi, and climbed inside.
"Where to?" the cabby questioned, slightly annoyed by the fact that she was obviously drunk. Hopefully we wouldn't bother him too much; I would make sure to give him a large tip in the end.
"Somewhere beautiful," she told him with a wide smile. Even though that wasn't much to go on, he seemed to find a destination in his mind because he started to drive. He turned up his radio, and I guessed that it was so that he could drown us out, but it sort of back fired on him. Annalise began to sing along obnoxiously to the tunes. Quickly, I covered her mouth and let out a boisterous laugh for myself. She laughed as well, but I guess that leaning my weight on her wasn't the best idea. When the cab turned the corner, I threw her off balance and we both fell over to her side.
"Sh, you're being loud, Annalise," I chuckled and she giggled below me as we were sprawled across the seats.
"Louis! You're heavy!" she squealed with a giggle.
I placed a hand on my heart, holding myself above her with my elbow so that I wasn't crushing her, gasping as if I was hurt. "Are you saying I'm fat?" I questioned with fake hurt.
"Yes, now get off of me you big lard!" she laughed loudly when I began to tickle her. I looked to the driver who now seemed amused by Annalise and I's little fight.
"Take it back!" I demanded while tickling her even more.
"Never!" she protested through laughter.
"Take it back!" I insisted.
"Fine! You're not fat!" she relinquished.
"And?" I paused with my tickles for just a moment, waiting for her to continue. She seemed lost until a light bulb appeared to go off in her mind.
"Louis Tomlinson is a smexy man with a huge heart," she burst out with the words before I could continue tickling her, and I felt a smile rise onto my lips. I was surprised that she had remembered that... I looked down at Annalise; all those times when I had desperately wanted to kiss her were rearing their heads again. Without me wanting them to, my eyes looked down to her lips as she let out breathless giggles. I don't know how I would have snapped out of my trance if it hadn't been for the stopping of the cab.
"We're here," the cabby called, and I rose up from the seat to look outside. We were at what looked like a pier. It was still dark outside, but the water beyond the land shimmered with the reflection of the slowly falling full moon. I asked the cabby what the fair was, and then paid him double for putting up with us. Helping Annalise out, she tripped slightly while we walked away from the cab. We were a short walk out from town, so we would easily hail another cab after a short walk. For now, though, we just made our way down the pier and to the farthest railing.
The mist from the body of water was bitterly cold and it made the night air seem a little bit nippier. After glancing at Annalise and noticing that she had less clothing on than I did, I took of my jacket and draped it over her shoulders. "Thanks, Lou," she mumbled through a yawn as she rested her head on my shoulder.
"It's no problem," I assured her.
"How bad of a hangover do you think I'm going to have tomorrow?" she asked with a small smile.
I laughed, "bad enough that I wont hear the end of it."
"I guess I should say sorry in advance, then," she said.
"Nah," I replied, looking down at her, "I don't mind, Annalise."
"You know," she started as she lifted her head up to look at me, "you could call me Anna; everyone else does."
"I'm not everyone else," I shrugged, "besides, I like your name the way it is. It's too beautiful to shorten into something as generic as Anna. That doesn't even suit you; you're much more than a plain 'ole 'Anna'."
Even though it was hard to say for sure, I thought I saw her blush at those words. "Thank you, Louis," she smiled up at me, "you can be really sweet when you're not joking around."
I gave a playful smile, "sh, wouldn't want anyone to know my secret."
"And there you go again," she shook her head with a giggle, "you're so confusing sometimes."
"Only for you, babe," for a moment, a comfortable silence fell over us.
"Louis," she called after the moon started to quicken its pace to outrun the sun. With her words, some of the first lights of morning made their appearance.
"Yeah?"
"Do you ever kind of think about how different things would be if one thing hadn't happened?" she wondered, and I looked down at her with furrowed brows. What was she trying to get at here?
"What do you mean?" I questioned in order to try and clarify what she meant.
"I was thinking that, sometimes, you just look at someone and realize just how pointless your life would be without them. Like, if they never existed in the first place then you would have missed this amazing opportunity to love them. The part of your life where they came in and made themselves known would instead just be filled with nothing, and this unfathomable amount of happiness that you've experienced would be gone so easily. Just with the existence of one person," she let her words hang in the air after they were said, and I contemplated them for a while. I could think of a lot of people who had made my life completely different. The boys, for one, and then Annalise had been the new addition to the list.
"What made you think about all of that?"
"You," she replied and the one word managed to make my heart do things that hearts shouldn't do. I could feel it thudding in my chest, and I didn't exactly know why the one word had affected me so much. Then, Annalise looked up at me with a look in her eyes that she had never directed towards me before. It was something that she reserved for when she would talk to Liam or for when she was focusing on something she really liked. If my heart had been beating fast before, than it must have been in hyper drive after that. She was leaning towards me, not having to get on her tip toes because she was wearing her heels. Her small hands, which just a second ago were rubbing her arms underneath my jacket, settled on my chest lightly. Cautiously, she looked into my eyes for a sign to continue or to stop, but I couldn't do anything. This is what I'd wanted for so long; this is what I was secretly hoping for-
"Stop," I heard myself say quickly, and her movements came to a halt. Her hands receded from my chest just like the moon receding from the sky. I couldn't tell if she was disappointed or not. "I'm sorry, Annalise, I-I can't," my words were somewhat jumbled, and I was cursing myself in my head. Why couldn't I just have let her? Why couldn't I have just forgotten about Liam and everything else for just one second and let her kiss me? It would've been worth it; it would've been so damn worth it.
"I'm sorry," she started, that disappointed look starting to make an appearance.
"No," I interrupted her quickly, not wanting her to blame herself, "no, it's not your fault; you probably won't even remember this." She looked like she was about to protest further, but I placed my hands on her shoulders to steady her and keep her looking at me. "I want to kiss you-I really, really want to-but I can't. I can't do that to you; I can't do that to Liam." I let out a sigh and looked away from her because I couldn't stand to look into her sad eyes any longer. She was making this so hard for me...but I couldn't do anything; it would be wrong, not only because of my promise to Liam but because she was completely inebriated. I couldn't just take advantage of her like that. "Let's get back to the hotel, okay? We can watch a movie together and try to get to sleep so that you won't have a very massive headache in the morning." She nodded hesitantly, and I pulled her towards the main roads while I thought about what it could've been like if I had just let her continue. I could only dream.
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Wow, this is a long chapter! I hope you guys enjoyed this, and i wish that i could talk longer down here, but i really need to shove off to bed so that i can wake up tomorrow for a garage sale; how fun! See you guys soon (maybe tomorrow night), hopefully! Love you all, :)
-cow_queen