"Let go of me Harry!" i cry out struggling against him. He just tightens his grip, his nails digging into my skin despite how short they are. It cause me to drop my notebook. Harry kicks it off behind him and slams me against the lockers. The door handle of one of them jams itself between my shoulder blades and my head connects with the hard metal on impact. I try not to whimper or cry out in pain. It'll only fuel him. "Can you let me go?" I demand trying to shove him away from me.
"Can you stop bitching for two seconds?" I stop fighting him and let him pin my wrists to the lockers. "You are a pain in my ass." He says lowly. Harry doesn't usually talk to me. He usually hurts me and walks away, usually laughing.
"How? I've never done anything to you." I spit out angrily. I'm a pain in his ass? How is that even possible! He's the one who stole my best friend, terrorized, verbally and physically abused me and he thinks I'm a pain in his ass?
"You took my best friend." He growled. My face scrunched up in confusion and disgust.
"That was just three months ago! What about the last four years! Why do you hate me! Why must you take everything I have!" Harry just stares at me after I scream at him which is unusual. When I talk back he usually hits me over the head or pushes me down and kicks me. This time he does nothing but stare back at me with those dark green eyes of his.
"I haven't taken everything." He says slowly. I scoff.
"My best friend, my sanity, my sense of security, any self esteem I might have, my.." He cuts me off.
"But you haven't lost that big mouth of yours or your courage." He snaps shoving me back and releasing his grip on me before turning around and running his hands through his curly hair.
"You think I have courage?" Is this a compliment? Is Harry Styles complimenting me?
"Enough to stand up to me even after all the shit I put you through. Why can't you just back the fuck down?" He wants me to back down and just let him a use me? Who gave him the right?
"You're an ass." He whips around to glare at me but I'm not going to stop now. "You think I'm just going to sit down and let you walk all over me! Never again! I had enough to deal with before getting into this shitty school and meeting you and your fucked up friends! I don't need this from you especially since I got enough of it from my..." I stop. My best kept secret and I almost told Harry.
"From who? How could your life be so fuckin unbearable! If you were in my shoes you wouldn't last a day!" That infuriates me more because I know what his life is like, Zayn has told me even though he probably shouldn't have but now I have something to throw back at him.
"If I was in your shoes I'd still have the same life!" I scream at him my voice echoing down the hallway. He stares at me angry and a little confused. "You think you're the only one with daddy problems?! You think your the only one whose dad is a fucking dick!" I should stop talking I should really stop talking but I'm too pissed off not to spill my guts. "My dad would beat my mom everyday. He wasn't even drunk! He did it for fun." I spit out glaring at him. "And if I got in the way, if I tried to stop him, he would beat me too." To say that Harry looked surprised would be a lie. If anything he seemed pissed off that our dad's were the same person to some degree. "So if you're fucked up because your dad fucked you over. Then that's your own god damn fault! I'm never, never going to let my dad affect who I am. I won't let him have that much control over me."
I begin to walk away my footsteps echoing down the hall when I hear Harry race after me. I prepare for a fight. I've never actually punched Harry or Louis or Zayn despite how much I've always wanted too. That just wasn't in me but I might just hit him now if he tries to hurt me again. Instead he skids to a stop in front of me and hands me my drawing book. I'd forgotten it in my rage. Scowling I take it back but he doesn't move out of my way. "How the hell do you know about my dad?" He demands.
"Zayn might have mentioned it." I grumble. Harry starts laughing and shakes his head.
"I'm going to kill him!" He cries out this sick smile on his face. I shove him away from me.
"Fuck you Harry." His eyes narrow and I think he's going to yell at me but he doesn't.
"I never thought I was the only one with daddy issues bitch. I just knew that nobody would understand." The way he says bitch this time sound more friendly then condescending if that makes any sense.
"Except someone else with daddy issues." I reply with a roll of my eyes trying to walk around him. He sidesteps me and gets in my way again.
"What happened to your dad?" He asks. I scoff. "
Why the hell would I tell you? Why the fuck does it matter?" I demand of I him. Harry smirks.
"Have you told Zayn about any of this?" I glare at him.
"Yes." I lie. Harry starts to laugh.
"You're a shit liar you know that?" Fuck everything.
"Fine. I haven't so what?" I grumble crossing my arms over my notebook and pinning it to my chest.
"So what happened to your dad?" He repeats taking a step closer. Sighing and grinding my teeth I answer him.
"I don't give a damn about what happened to him. We got a restraining order freshman year. We had cops watching our damn neighborhood for almost a year. He hasn't come back. He hasn't shown up. He disappeared and I really hope he's dead but we'll never know." Harry doesn't reply he just stands their quietly.
"My dad's dead." Zayn didn't tell me this. I blink multiple times in confusion and stare up at Harry who seems more docile now and less I'm going to fuckin kill you.
"Okay so?" I draw out confused as to why he's telling me this.
"So my dad's dead and I still live in fear that he might just show up and beat the crap out of me or my mom. Though I could probably take him on now." He muses lightly running a hand through his dark hair and shoving the other into his pants pockets.
"Okay your point to tell me this is..?" Harry rolls his eyes.
"So my dad's dead and I'm still fucked up. Your dad may still be fuckin walking around and you're not fucked up, how does that make any sense?" He demands stepping closer so that I now have to crane my neck up to look at him.
"I don't know. That's your problem." I mutter.
"What's your mum like?" He asks suddenly.
"I don't know she's my mother..?" I reply arching an eyebrow at his question.
"Is she too nice for her own good?" He demands. I shrug.
"Yeah. Obnoxiously smothering and too caring for someone whose been through as much shit as she has." Harry nods slowly and back up.
"Sounds like my mother." He grumbles.
"What is your point?" I ask sighing and rubbing my temple.
"I still don't understand how you ended up like that and I ended up like this. How does that work out?" I stare at him and sigh.
"Two different outcomes to the same situation. You chose to go down the same path as your father and I decided to be better than him." I push past him and begin walking away but he grabs my wrist and stops me.
"You think you're better than me?" He doesn't sound angry. It sounds like he's looking for confirmation.
"I don't think I'm better than you. I know I am." With that I yank my arm back and walk away.
-x-
Four months. Officially it has been four months. I walk up to my girlfriends house that Friday morning with four things she loves. Flowers, chocolate, one of my drawings, and me. I told Liam that I would pick her up and take her home today and that it was a surprise so when she opened the door and saw me standing there the expression on her face was priceless. "Oh my god Zayn what the hell or you doing here!" She cries out throwing her arms around my neck in a hug. I have to hold out my arms before she has a chance to crush the flowers or anything else but it's ok if she crushes me to death.
"Four months." She starts laughing and pulls back long enough to kiss me, tugging lightly on the strands of my hair.
"Yeah I know. I've checked multiple times. Just to make sure." She says pulling back and sighing a little dropping her arms to her sides.
"You weren't sure if it had been four months?" I ask slowly.
"No I was. I just had to make sure." Emma replied with a shrug. She takes the flowers from my hand and smiles. "I'll put these in water and be right back." She kisses me lightly and steps inside. I can see her just inside the kitchen reaching under the sink for a vase. She pours I some water and removes the plastic around it. She places the flowers inside the vase and then puts it on the dining rom table. She grabs up her backpack and heads for the door again. "We're eating this now." She says unwrapping the king sized Hershey's bar.
"Chocolate for breakfast?" I ask.
"Chocolate for every meal." She replied breaking off a bar.
"You're cute." I reply as she hands me a piece.
"Even when I stuff my face with chocolate very unladylike?" I start laughing and kiss her cheek.
"Even then yes." We step inside my truck and she sits down before leaning over and kissing me again. "You're very touchy." I point out as I start up the engine.
"Don't you want to know what my present is for you? Or do you want a surprise?" She counters. I purse my lips and glance at her as I pull away from the curb.
"I have a choice?" I reply. She nods and smiles.
"So would you like to know?" I purse my lips before nodding.
"Ya tell me I wanna know." I say shifting my hands on the wheel.
"We're going to get you a new tattoo." I almost hit the brakes.
"Wait you're serious?" I demand glancing at her.
"Yeah why? You don't want it." Her face falls and I grab her hand.
"No I'm just surprised. Whose going to do it." She shrugs.
"Who else does your tattoos?" She replies.
"You talked to Ed?" I almost shout. The tattoo parlor I go to is on the wrong side of town and run by one of the nicest wort people you could ever meet. He's leader of some gang but a wicked tattoo artist.
"Don't worry I was with Liam." She says rolling her eyes and taking my hand in hers. "He agreed to do the tattoo, for free I might add, if I did something for him." This time I do step on the brakes, while the car behind me honks in protest.
"What?" I demand glaring at her.
"Nothing bad. Jesus Zayn let me get through the story!" She complains motioning for me to keep driving. Breathing heavily and grinding my teeth I keep heading down the street. "He agreed to do it for free if I also got a tattoo and.." She pauses and I don't know what's worse the anticipation of what she might say next or the fact that she's getting a needle pressed to her skin for a four month anniversary present for me. "If I flashed him." Thank god I had just pulled in to a parking spot at school otherwise I would've slammed down on the brakes again and risk damaging them.
"What!" I shout at her.
"Zayn calm down.." She says slowly touching my arm.
"You flashed him!" I continue. She sighs and shakes her head.
"I told him I would do it with you there." That doesn't make it any better, but at the same time... "I said it would be weird if I flashed him and haven't down it to you so are you going to be mad or are you going to get a tattoo with me after I show you my boobs?" Well when she puts it that way...
"Why did you go through all that trouble and why would you flash him for this but not for me any other time and why aren't you being anal about it?" I ask all at once.
"It's been four months Zayn. It was going to happen eventually and I don't know a free tattoo, Zayn that's fuckin awesome, and I get one too! Although I don't know what I want." She says tapping her chin. And furrowing her eyebrows.
"God I love you." I reply putting my hand on her cheek and kissing her. She leans into me but seems a little startled. She pulls back.
"You love me?" She questions. Oh fuck! Did I really say that?
"Shit I didn't... It was in context and I..." I pause and just stare at her. I don't know what to say.
"It's okay." She stutters out before opening the door of the truck and getting out. I follow her slamming the door shut.
"Wait we're okay? We're cool? You're not goingto freak out or run to Niall and ask for his opinion?" She scoffs.
"I don't run to Niall and it's fine. It's... Okay." She shrugs and continues to walk changing the subject, but I have a feeling it's not okay.