Even if it wasn't completely dark inside the apartment yet, it was dark enough to make Felix extremely uneasy. He absolutely hated darkness. It made him feel isolated and alone; like he was cut off from society, -from the world. It made him feel like his innermost thoughts were on full display, and that's what he despised the most. He hated the darkness because it felt like it was closing in on him. He felt it was suffocating him, like it was able to somehow sneak it's way into his lungs in place of oxygen. His insides were dark enough already, so he certainly didn't need to feel as if his lungs were being inflated by blackened, tainted air.
"This is a disaster," the younger boy sighed, running a frustrated hand through his blonde strands, "why does it have to be today that the power goes out?"
"Maybe they'll have it back on soon," Changbin said hopefully, doing his very best to lighten the younger boy's mood.
The older boy didn't like seeing Felix in a state of hopelessness. He was the last person that should ever feel that way in Changbin's eyes. To the raven haired boy, the Australian was like a beacon of hope in the darkest of times, even if the younger boy didn't quite understand that yet. Felix would get it eventually, but until then, Changbin didn't have a problem staying by the blonde's side. He enjoyed Felix's company, even if the younger boy was awkward, easily flustered, and sometimes extremely hard to comprehend.
"I doubt it," Felix sighed, "and even if they do, it'll be hard to finish everything on time."
"You know, I think they'll live if you don't have their exact numbers. It's not like you got any help with any of this, after all. Plus, you're the one who did the decorating, the planning, and practically everything else. They don't have the right to say anything after all the shit they've been making you do," Changbin pointed out.
"I'm class president, though. This is my job. It's what I signed up for," Felix replied.
"No, you signed up to lead things, not to do everything by yourself. So if anyone says anything tomorrow, call me and I'll beat them up for you," Changbin joked, attempting to lighten the mood.
Much to his happiness, the younger boy's lips curled upward slightly as his eyes sparked up a little bit. Changbin had noticed the light behind them dimming when they entered the apartment, so to see that spark returning, even if just a little, because of something he said...It made the older boy feel like he'd finally done something worthy.
"You couldn't beat anyone up," Felix joked, bumping the older boy's shoulder with his own, "you'd lose in ten seconds tops."
"Is that a challenge?" Changbin questioned.
"Nope," the younger boy answered, shaking his head, "it's the truth."
"I think it was a challenge," the older boy stated.
"Nope, it was just facts," Felix replied.
"It was definitely a challenge," Changbin repeated again.
The Australian laughed a bit, causing the older boy to break into a happy smile.
"I'm gonna go and grab a towel for you," he stated, and he pulled his phone from his pocket so that he could use the flashlight on the device to make his way through the darker end of the apartment.
The darkness isn't so bad when he's around, Felix realized, and he smiled to himself as he plucked a towel from the closet in the hall.
"Here you go," he said, holding it out to Changbin once he made his way back into the living room.
"Thanks," the older boy smiled, gently taking the white towel from the hand of the younger.
And just as Felix turned his back to venture into the kitchen for a bottle of water (that was probably room temperature by that point instead of ice cold) the older boy spoke up again.
"Oh, and Felix."
The Australian spun on his heels to face the older boy, only to have his back pushed against the wall and his hands pinned above his head. Smirking, the raven haired boy seemed satisfied with the reaction.
"I think that was less than ten seconds," he commented, "I win."
If he moves his face any closer to mine, the blonde gulped, his lips are going to touch mine.
But, just like it had happened so quickly, Changbin was sure to not tease the younger boy for too long. He released his grip on the taller boy's wrists and stepped away from him, allowing Felix to peel himself off the wall.
Why do those actions seem so. . . Familiar to me? Felix asked himself.
The Australian's eyes lingered on Changbin for a few seconds too long for it to be considered normal. The raven haired boy noticed, but he didn't say anything about it. Mostly because he didn't mind the younger boy's gaze. In a way, he liked it. It made him feel like Felix's undivided attention was all on him, and he relished in it.
Maybe he's remembering something, Changbin hoped, mentally crossing his fingers for a yes to that.
"I-I think we should light some candles," Felix stated, finally ripping his eyes off the older boy.
"That's a good idea," Changbin nodded.
It seemed to be getting darker by the minute, and that made Felix feel increasingly uncomfortable despite Changbin's presence. Darkness didn't necessarily scare him, at least, not in a traditional way. It wasn't the darkness in itself that scared him, but the feelings that it placed in his chest. The feelings of loneliness and isolation; like nobody would ever care if he were to simply disappear. He didn't like those feelings, and the darkness always reminded him of them, so he did his very best to avoid it. He liked to stay in the light because it reminded him that there truly was hope out there on the horizon. He wasn't alone...People would miss him if he were gone...The light simply snuffed out all the bad thoughts that the darkness instilled within him, and he felt safe within the light in ways he'd never feel in the darkness.
"That's quite the collection of scented candles," Changbin noted as Felix opened up a cabinet that was specifically used for the housing of all of his aunt's scented candles.
Anything from chocolate, to apples and cinnamon, to sugar cookie dough, to melon.
"My aunt is kind of obsessed with them," Felix stated.
"I understand why," Changbin noted as he grabbed the cinnamon bun scented candle off the top shelf, "this smells like heaven."
"I'll leave the scents up to you then," Felix laughed, watching as the raven haired boy plucked candle after candle out of the cabinet and gave a review of every last one of their scents.
"This one is really good. It smells like lemons," Changbin noted.
"It's labeled as lemon meringue, so I guess they hit the nail on the head with that one," Felix replied.
"Definitely," the raven haired boy nodded before continuing on.
"This one smells really sweet," he stated, "but this says it's watermelon. I swear, I don't think I've ever had a watermelon that smelled like straight up sugar."
"Do either of those things really have a distinct scent?" Felix inquired.
"Don't question my nose, blondie," Changbin joked, placing the watermelon candle to the side.
"Sorry, sorry, it totally slipped my mind that you're the resident scented candle expert around here," Felix joked.
The younger boy put his hands up in surrender, watching as the older moved onto the next candle.
"This one is disgusting," the raven haired boy stated, scrunching up his nose.
"Is that the lavender one?" Felix asked, noting the light purple color of the candle wax.
Changbin turned the object around in his hand to look at the label.
"Yeah," he nodded, "and I breathed it in really hard, and now my mouth tastes like air freshener."
Felix laughed at the older boy, and Changbin smiled sweetly.
"This is what I bet your cupcakes tasted like on your birthday," he noted, pointing to the candle in his hand.
"Nope, that's completely wrong," Felix shook his head, giggling at the older boy's words.
"The cupcakes were delicious."
"This black cherry one is where it's at," Changbin stated, pointing to a different candle on the counter.
"Are you gonna smell them all? Just pick out a few," Felix requested, but Changbin shook his head.
"I can't do that," the older boy stated, making it seem like the younger had just asked him to commit some heinous crime against humanity.
"That's like choosing a wedding cake without tasting it. You just don't do it," the raven haired boy stated.
"Are you seriously comparing choosing scented candles to picking out a wedding cake?" Felix asked, raising one eyebrow as he looked at Changbin.
"Yep, that's exactly what I'm doing," the shorter boy answered instantly.
"Well, nobody's getting married around here, and there's no wedding cakes. So just pick a few candles and let's go," the Australian laughed.
"This one is scented like a wedding cake," Changbin replied.
Felix blinked twice.
"How does that even make sense? Wedding cakes aren't all the same," the blonde commented.
"I dunno, the label just says "traditional wedding cake"," Changbin replied with a shrug.
Felix gawked for another few seconds, but then grabbed the two candles that the older boy had already picked out and went to light them in the living room.
"Aren't you gonna stay to hear the rest of my candle reviews?" Changbin questioned.
"Nope."
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
An hour passed, then two, then three, and just like that, the minutes seemed to tick by faster and faster. Felix and Changbin had retreated to the younger boy's room because it was the warmest one in the apartment. With only the light of a singular cinnamon bun scented candle lighting up the room, the two of them laughed as they sat side by side on the Australian's bed.
"How does that even happen?" Felix wheezed out through his fit of giggles.
"Honestly, I'm the one who did it, and I still don't know. All I'm sure of is that I was making ramen noodles, I turned around to grab the seasoning packet off the counter and when I turned back around, the ramen was on the floor and the banana was on fire."
Felix was laughing so hard that he could hardly get a breath in edgewise.
Changbin smiled at the younger boy as he laughed, noting the way that his eyes crinkled at the sides and his smiled got brighter. Even in the darkness, Felix shined in Changbin's eyes.
You look cutest when you laugh, Felix, the older boy noted, taking a snapshot in his mind of the moment.
After he calmed himself down, the Australian glanced out the window. It was still raining extremely hard, and he only knew because he could hear the beating rain, as it was also pitch black outside.
"I think it's way past eight o'clock," Felix noted, glancing back over at the older boy, "are you going to get in trouble for this?"
Changbin shook his head in reply.
"Nah. The power is probably out all over the city, so chances are the office doesn't have power either. But, even if it does, I'll just say that I was sick but I couldn't call in because of the outage."
"Okay," Felix nodded, feeling relieved that Changbin wasn't going to get in trouble because of him.
He felt responsible for bringing Changbin all the way back to his aunt's apartment to help him with something they weren't able to work on at all. Not to mention the fact that they had to walk all that way in the rain.
"I just don't want you to get in any trouble because of me," the Australian mumbled, fiddling with his fingers as he stared down at his hands.
"Don't worry about stuff like that," Changbin gave him a light smile as the older boy reached over to lace his fingers with the younger boy.
Oh my God, Felix's heart skipped a beat, he's holding my hand. Why is he holding my hand?
The raven haired boy was only doing it to calm the younger boy's nerves, but now Felix's mind was spinning and he was completely drawing a blank as he stared down at their hands. The Australian didn't exactly mind the gesture, not really anyway, but he felt nervous beyond belief now. And yet, despite that, Felix made no attempt to move away or pull his hand away. He did the exact opposite however, and he squeezed the hand of the older boy, much to Changbin's surprise, and to Felix's own as well.
"It is pretty late though," Changbin stated, pulling his hand away from Felix's, "maybe I should head back to my own apartment."
"But it's raining," the blonde stated quickly, because he surely didn't want Changbin to leave him alone in complete darkness and silence.
That was like his worst nightmare. Darkness and silence were two things that made his bad thoughts creep inward on him, and mixing them together was absolutely toxic, and Felix didn't want to do that. But, he thought that maybe if Changbin was there with him, he'd be able to calm himself and not have to worry about those types of things. If he could just feel the warmth of another person beside him in the darkness, letting the warmth split through the silence and speak comforting words to him, maybe everything would feel better.
"It's not that far of a walk," Changbin replied.
The older boy didn't want to impose upon the younger, and he felt it would be wrong of him to spend the night with Felix. After all, the Australian was already flustered enough around him, and Changbin didn't want to give him anymore reasons to feel that way. Plus, he thought he'd be making the blonde uncomfortable.
"B-But the rain is coming down really hard. You could get sick," Felix stuttered slightly.
I don't want you to leave me alone right now, the blonde pleaded inside his mind, hoping that the message would reach Changbin somehow without him having to actually say those words out loud, because they sounded desperate and slightly pathetic.
"You don't have to worry about that," Changbin stated, "I've got a pretty good immune system."
"We live in a city," Felix reminded the older boy, "it's dangerous at night; especially on nights like this."
The raven haired boy just assumed that Felix was trying to be kind and considerate of him. He didn't quite understand that the younger boy was desperate to not be alone that night.
"Really, it's okay, Felix. I'll be fine. My apartment isn't that far away. You don't need to worry," Changbin assured.
How do I say it in the right way to make him understand? Felix asked himself. It'll sound clingy, and needy, and like I'm begging him to stay with me. That'll freak him out...How do I say it right?
Changbin slipped out from under the covers on Felix's bed, letting his feet hit the carpeted ground.
"If you want, I can put you to sleep before I leave," the raven haired boy offered.
"...alright," Felix replied, as he slowly laid back on the bed and rested his head on the pillow.
"My phone is dead, so I can't read tonight, but the cuddling option is always on the table," Changbin joked.
"...not tonight," Felix mumbled, pulling the blanket up to his chin.
"Then, how about I sing to you? Or, I could tell you about the two hour lecture I had this morning about dreams and their symbolism's," Changbin laughed.
"Song please," Felix requested, gently closing his eyes.
But he knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep without somebody else in the apartment; especially not in the darkness. And he certainly wouldn't be able to fall asleep knowing that Changbin was going to leave as soon as he fell into dreamland.
"Wait, I'm wrong...Should have done better than this. Please, I'll be strong,
I'm finding it hard to resist. So show me what I'm looking for," Changbin sang lightly to the younger boy, and Felix could feel his heart racing at the older boy's voice.
He's an amazing singer, Felix noted, his voice is like honey.
"Save me, I'm lost. Oh lord, I've been waiting for you. I'll pay any cost...Save me from being confused. Show me what I'm looking for. Show me what I'm looking for, oh lord."
Felix got lost in every word the raven haired boy sang, and he tried to focus on that instead of Changbin's impending departure.
"Don't let go. I've wanted this far too long. Mistakes become regrets. I've learned to love abuse. Please show me what I'm looking for."
Before Felix knew it, the song was over, and he peeled his eyes open, but only a tiny bit. Changbin probably wouldn't have been able to tell in the darkness that his eyes were open, though. In the glow of the candlelight, Felix watched as the older boy stood up and glanced back at him. And as Changbin began to walk towards the door to leave, Felix reached his hand outward and locked his fingers around the raven haired boy's wrist. It startled the older boy, who believed that Felix was asleep, and he jumped a bit in surprise when the younger boy's hand came into contact with his skin.
". . .do you want me to sing another song?" Changbin asked quietly.
The blonde shook his head, gently pulling on the raven haired boy's wrist.
". . .what would you do if I asked you not to leave?" Felix whispered.
Changbin blinked a few times in surprise as he allowed his brain to process the words that the Australian had just spoken.
"Is this a hypothetical question?" Changbin asked in return.
Felix shook his head.
"No," he answered, "I want you to stay with me tonight."
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
🌙word count: 3,040
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