Chapter 46 – All I Need Is You
Ever since I met you
My heart recognized that All It needs Is You
Ever Since I Fell In Live with You
My heart knew that to beat with sanity, All It Needs is You
Everytime I Hurt Us, I knew that my wounds only needed You
Even when I pushed you away, I knew that All I needed was you
Even as you walked out of my Life, my heart knew that to become one again , All it needed was You
And as I meet You today with My heart in my hands ready to surrender to you once again..All I need is You.
It's a inevitable truth that I have learnt to Live with – All I Ever needed was You, that All I ever Need is You, and all I will ever need is also – You.
................
Zoya didn't know what to do about this sudden onslaught of a zillion emotions, as she felt Asad move his lips over hers, in passionate kisses over and over again, he wouldn't break away and nor would he let her, which her mind desperately wanted to do, but her heart was just refusing to listen, as it basked in the happiness of what it was feeling, but this made no sense to her head, she had to break away, she had to get him to stop, but how could she when her body was on a reflex mode, it seemed to have a mind of its own as she found herself giving in, and responding to Asad in every way he would have wanted her too, in every way her heart wanted her too, for it seemed to have gone on another tangent right now.
She felt him pull her closer into him, as his hands clutched her hair into a fist, before he broke away for a brief second, and looked into her eyes, and she could see the sea of overwhelming emotions flowing in his eyes, but before she could gather her senses to say something or to break away, he kissed her again, and again on reflex she felt her own arms wrap around him, as she pulled him close, and started to respond to him again.
This was insane.
This was crazy.
She had to be on the run from this man right??
She had been on a constant worry, that what if she couldn't stop herself from running into his arms the moment she saw him, but she hadn't, she hadn't even in her dreams thought that running into his arms wouldn't be the issue, the issue would be to stop clinging onto him, as if her Life depended onto it, and just like that - that moment of truth struck her mind,the truth that she had so deeply tucked in her heart ever since she had parted from him – that Asad had been the center of her world, not just then , but even now, he was very much still in that center of her being. And just like that in the next moment, the reality of everything she had been through to get to the point she was now, also came back crashing into her mind, and she finally gathered all her strength and broke away from the heated embrace and pushed him back with a jerk towards his seat, and she spoke with anger in her voice, the anger that she was feeling towards herself, for behaving in such a stupid manner – " what the hell Asad?? Just who do you think you are to just suddenly do what you were doing huh??", and she picked up her bag and her crutch and started to get out of the car.
..........
Asad felt her push him away from her with a strong jerk and he instructed himself to come back to his senses, for the shock and confusion and anger was very much evident on Zoya's face, and he was pretty sure that she wasn't only angry at him for acting on reflex like he had kissing her mindlesslessly, she was probably more angry at herself for letting her guard off and responding to him in the way she had, and the façade that she had put up in front of him for all these months had come crashing down, and now he was sure that everything that Abir had told them was indeed true, she had really forgiven him long time ago, and she was doing this because her mind had made her do so because she thought he would be better off without her.
He saw her glare at him angrily as she spoke, the anger and the confusion evident in her voice -" what the hell Asad?? Just who do you think you are to just suddenly do what you were doing huh??", and she started to get out of the car.
Asad composed himself, as he held her hand and pulled her back and with the other hand he bent forward and shut the door she had opened,and he immediately put the seatbelt and tucked her and he spoke in a curt voice – " honestly, I know I should apologize for my misbehavior, but I wont...because after what seems like ages, I finally did what I wanted too"
Zoya gaped at him in shock, as she opened tried to get the seatbelt off her as she spoke – " oh yes ofcourse I had forgotten how obnoxious Mr Khan can be..but I am not going anywhere with you, and don't think that you have a chance because you caught me off guard, I lost my mind for a second..."
Asad raised his eyebrow as he asked – " a second..?? it was much longer than that Zoya.."
Zoya gaped at him in fury, but she knew he was right, and she looked away and stared through the front window as she calmed herself and she spoke in a curt voice – " I will not say that you are wrong, Mr.Khan, but what exactly do you want to achieve by doing what you just did??"
Asad looked at her taut side face and he could see that she was fighting her very being by doing what she was and he felt a sudden rush of love and he spoke softly – " only trying to get what I want..."
Zoya didn't look his way as she asked softly –" and what is that??"
Asad spoke gently – " You..."
And right then she looked at him, and her eyes completely gave her away, as tears fell off them on their own accord, and she wiped them away as she spoke – " don't, asad, I beg you...please don't go there..."
Asad looked straight as he started the engine, thank god that Abir had entered the location on the Gps, the location he had suggested would be the best place to take Zoya too and have the talk that had been long due, and he started to drive, as he saw Zoya look out her window, but those tears had given her away, they had spoken everything she had been trying to hide all this while.
.......................
Zoya composed herself,but she didn't look his way, and she continued to let the scenery distract her, and she had also figured where they were going, abir had probably told him about the lakeside she had been visiting , everytime she needed to clear her thoughts, damm him, she felt her anger rise at Abir, how could he do this to her, how could he tell Asad, and right then the fear that what if Abir had told him the real reason behind her actions, gripped her, but she brushed the thought away, No abir wouldn't do that.
Right then Asad pulled the car in the parking lot, and he got out immediately, and came to her side, and opened her door, and he held out his hand to her, and she picked up her crutch ,and started to get out on her own ignoring his hand as she spoke – " I can help myself...",and she watched him step aside, as she stepped out ,and balanced herself, and closed the door, and she tried to read his face, which had suddenly gone blank and his eyes looked exhausted, and she took a deep breathe as she asked – " why are we here??"
Asad looked at her as he spoke curtly – " I got to know that this is the place you have been coming too, everytime you need time out with yourself..."
Zoya rolled her eyes as she asked – " I have no idea what you bribed my friend with...anyways why are you here?? If you want to discuss anything apart from Abir and Yana, then all you are going to get is my silence, Asad..."
Asad took a step closer into her as he spoke – " I know, and maybe that's what I want..."
Zoya looked at him confused – "huh??", and before she could say anything, he picked her up in his arms, taking her by shock and surprise,as she held her crutch in one hand, and beat his arm with the other,as she spoke – " put me down, now, Asad...I said now...", but he wouldn't budge, and he only tightened his grip on her, as he walked over to a secluded corned by the lake side and placed her gently on the ground as he spoke softly looking into her eyes – " I know you can help yourself, but I was only checking what I had assumed or what everyone else had assumed, you really have lost a lot of weight, which isn't a good thing.."
Zoya felt her frustration rise as she limped her way towards him and she asked, distress evident in her voice – " why?? Why are you doing this huh??
Those emotions in her eyes, made him loose his mind again, as he pulled her by the waist gently closer into him, and sealed her lips with another kiss, but this time, she didn't let him win, as she fought back immediately and broke away, and before he knew it she had planted a harsh slap across his face taking him by surprise as she spoke furious – " touch me one more time, and I will forget that you are Khushi's brother...",and she stepped back a little shocked by what her mind had just made her do in her defence, and she spoke curtly – " im leaving...now...and I want you to leave immediately I don't want to see you again, you understand, I will handle Yana and abir by myself, I don't need your dam help, I don't need you around me even for a second..."
Asad held her hand,as he spoke curtly – " I didn't come here so that I could leave again...Zoya...",and he paused and he asked softly – " will you slap me again??please??"
Zoya turned back in shock as she looked at him – "have you lost your marbles??"
Asad took advantage of her shock, and he held her shoulders and made her sit on the bench and he kneeled down in front of her as he spoke – "one slap isn't enough Zoya, you should have slapped me when I asked you to sign those annulment papers, you should have slapped me when I let you leave, you should have slapped me when I fell for the façade you put up, you should have slapped me when I couldn't see behind the mask you put in front of me, slap me Zoya, for letting you down, for letting our love down..."
Zoya felt a zillion emotions run through her, as she tried to comprehend what he was saying with so much emotion and love on his face, as he sat kneeling by her as she asked sure her voice was shaking – " what do you mean?? What are you talking about, I have no clue whats on your mind asad, let me go..."
Asad looked down dejected as he spoke – " I have no clue in how many ways have I let you down Zoya, but I must have surely, for I could make you feel no comfort at all, for your mind won and let you belittle our love in the worst possible way...you couldn't trust me maybe because I didn't make you feel you could, I shouldn't have let you leave, I should have seen long ago that this wasn't about forgiveness, you forgave me long ago didn't you for the annulment and everything else too...am I right Zoya??"
Zoya looked at him shock, how could be saying such things, Did Abir really break her confidence and tell him everything, she tried to read Asad, or maybe he was just throwing an arrow in the air hoping to hit its target, but the dejected look on his face spoke volumes and she composed herself as she spoke curtly – " forgive you?? When did I do that?? I can never forgive you for what you did Asad, we are over, why don't you get it...",and she looked away.
Asad looked at her, and the emotion she was fighting was on her face and he cupped her face as he made her look at him and he spoke – " look at me when you say that Zoya..."
Zoya looked in his eyes, and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get those words to come out, and she looked away again as she spoke – "let me go..."
Asad made her look at him again – "I did before, and it was the biggest blunder of my life, even a bigger blunder than the annulment, but I will never let you go again..."
Zoya spat back in anger – " oh and how are you going to make me stay by your side forcefully?? Id like to see you try..."
Asad looked at her as he got up and sat next to her on the bench and he held her hand as he spoke – " aren't you tired?? Tired of putting up this mask?? Im asking because im exhausted by just watching you do so, so I can only imagine how taxing it must be both emotionally and physically to hold onto such misery inside, and I know so because clearly your efforts don't match your progress, I want to know why are you punishing yourself like this, aren't you exhausted of the banishment you have sentenced us both with...",and she was about to say something but he kept his hand over her mouth as he spoke – " shhh, youv spoken enough, and now I need you to listen to me, I told you even before you left, that you wont be able to get rid off anything, off the marks of love and pain, you wont be able to let go, just like I haven't been able too, all I need is you Zoya, all I ever needed was you, and all you need is me...it's a simple truth, the sooner you accept it the better....i know you forgave me a long time ago, I know you have overlooked my blunder long time ago, and I know what this is about, I know you think I am better off without you, for you feel that you aren't the same Zoya I fell in love with, and that you feel that you cannot give me the family I dreamed off, and that is the only reason you are running away from me....."
Zoya fought her tears, so Abir had indeed told him everything,but she couldn't just admit it so she spoke curtly – " bullshit, who do you think you are making such claims?? I have no idea who gave you such a stupid piece of information, we are apart because you annulled our marriage..."
Asad raised his eyebrow – "exactly its such a stupid piece of information that I couldn't really believe it in the first place when Abir told us everything...."
Zoya gaped at him in shock – "whatttttt????? What do you mean us???"
Asad – " us as in me, khushi and Arnav..."
Zoya – " what bullshit, he's making things up on his own whims and fancies ok...don't get your hopes up, don't be delusional that I love you so much that I would do a thing like this ok...and I'm leaving, I do not wish to talk further, I have wasted too much time already..."
Asad didn't stop her this time, and he watched her walk away a little as he asked from behind – " that's exactly what I want to know, why do you love me so much Zoya?? Why do you love me in the way that is letting you belittle what we shared and destroy us both in the process...why Zoya..why?????
She stood frozen in her spot as he asked this off her, and all of a sudden she couldn't take it in anymore, and she broke down into sobs as she fell onto the floor, dejected as she cried, and cried and howled the pain her heart had been feeling, and she heard him ask softly as he came and touched her head gently and hugged her from the side – " if the situations had been reversed, and I had been in your place and you in mine, would you have let me succeed in pushing you away, like you pushed me?? Answer me, will you please???"
Zoya couldn't say anything, as the sobbing got heavier and she wept and wept, and she hated it, because he was watching her intently, he wasn't leaving, he wasn't consoling her, he was just letting her cry it out, and waiting for her to answer him, but she couldn't get any words out, she could only sob as she mustered – " please...stop..don't..."
Asad sat next to her on the ground, and he folded his hands over his knees dejected, as he watched her pour out the pain she had been holding inside for what seemed like decades, and he didn't stop her, for it was important for her to misery out, before she could finally give him the answers he seeked. He looked ahead, into nowhere, and he spoke softly knowing that she would be listening to him – " I knew it even when you were leaving that something was a miss, I felt it deep down in my heart, but maybe at the time, I couldn't see beyond the guilt I was feeling for both the past and what had happened to you, and the time we were apart I speculated a lot of times, that what if you had spotted that guilt in my eyes too, I had been feeling sympathy too, but not just for you, but for us, for we ended up hurting each other in the worst possible ways, and we lost the most precious thing our love created – our child.All these feelings kind off made me feel that maybe to give you some time part would be what was needed, maybe it was what I needed, to sort myself out, deal with my guilt and pain, and that's what iv been doing all the whilst in the banishment Zoya, only so that when you look my way this time around you see the Asad you loved in the past, and not the man who is shadowed and burdened with baggage of guilt, and I was able to work things out within, I was able to give myself another chance and now im just waiting for you to give me another chance, give yourself another chance, give our love another chance to recreate what used to be...", he paused taking a deep breathe, as he realized that her sobs had been controlled, but tears still fell off her eyes, as she looked to the ground, into nowhere, and so he took another deep breathe as he continued – "I love you Zoya, our destiny lies together, our lives joint with each other, and even though you ran away miles apart, I am sure, you found the shadows and marks of the love that used to be..because I did too..honestly you might think im crazy but to tell you the truth, this distance only heightened what I felt for you, because I realized how much I need you in my life, and only you..and iv held you close to myself in m y heart Zoya, I have never let you go..and just when look at you today, and just seeing you in front of me today is like a blast of fresh air that I very much needed to breathe, and im even more sure that even though you changed our paths, you couldn't really change our destination which was meant to be, you cant blame me Zoya, for seeing you , feeling you in my being wherever I went, the shadow of the marks you left with me off your love run so deep that I couldn't really run away, and I never wanted too, you have no idea Zoya how I have been suffering without you, every minute, every second, every hour , a little bit more every day, the hollow ache in my heart would never go away even for a second, and its funny though, one look at you today, has finally got my heartbeats to start beating sanely....", and he paused taking a deep breathe letting his feeling out, he spoke again – " and now that I know the truth about why you did what you did, I have just been trying to understand things from your point of view...iv been trying to figure out just how did your mind come up with a thing like this...im trying to understand..."
Zoya heard everything,and just like that in the moment he was baring his heart out to her, she knew that he would never ever move on.He couldn't, just like she couldn't.And her mind went blank, she couldn't come up with any logic to fight his emotion right now, and so she found the wors leave her lips softly on their own accord – " do you understand?? Are you able to understand..why I did what I did, and why I must be apart from you, im not good enough for you anymore Asad, im not the same Zoya you feel in love with, I am not your perfect Zoya anymore, I cannot burden you with my misery, when I cannot even fulfill your dreams...fine I will not lie anymore, I will tell you the truth, you know the truth, and if you ever loved me you have to understand why its important for you to be apart from me Asad, I cannot live with the fact that im a burden on you.."
Asad looked at her for a second, completely heartbroken, he couldn't believe what he was listening, and he spoke softly looking away – " just for a second lets erase all the misunderstandings Zoya all the pain, go back in time before all the shit happened, we were happy weren't we, so much in love, are you able to go back to that time in your mind, or is it that those memories have been hazed..."
Zoya looked at the ground as she spoke honestly– " ofcourse I remember every bit of it, those memories are all I have, all iv lived with being apart.."
Asad spoke softly – " then don't you think by thinking what you are, you have belittled the very love we had nurtured with our hearts?? How could you think that my love is so shallow that it would look at you differently??",and he paused as he admitted – "or maybe my mistakes later on were so grave that you lost all your faith on me??"
Zoya paused as she answered honestly – " you only reacted to the pain I gave you, so to be honest, it really isn't your fault alone, its mine too..."
Asad – "exactly, its us, we both screwed up big time, but since when did you think you could go ahead and make a decision like this for me, you cant because its my choice to love you as long as I live, why does it have to be you and me separate in the conversation, where is the US that used to be??and where is the faith, why don't you have the faith that we can get past your condition together, I do not wish for you to be dependend on me or anything all I want is to be able to offer support, when you need a shoulder to lean on, and what dreams Zoya?? You forgot a very important part here, it was a dream I saw with you,and if you aren't only there, there really is no point of anything on that note, for let me make one thing clear, in my life, in my heart, I have loved only one woman, and no one else can ever take that place, and that woman is you Zoya, it will always be you... ", and he picked up her hand and placed it on his heart – " my heart has finally come alive having you by its side, your one touch has made it come back to life, your love had lit my world,please come back and light it up again, please let our love re-write our story..."
Zoya looked at the ground as she spoke, too overwhelmed with everything that had just happened – " I don't know, I don't know what to say...Asad..I..."
Asad held her hand finally and cupped her face and made her look at him as he asked – " do you love me?????tell me honestly, is that love still alive deep down inside of you?? Your eyes tell me that it is, but I want to hear it from you..."
Zoya held his hands, as she removed it from face – "Asad..please...please...don't...please..."
Asad looked at her heartbroken, why couldn't she just admit it, why was it so difficult when he had bared his heart and soul to her again, and his heart told him maybe she needed some time, it was maybe all too sudden for her, and so he got up immediately as he spoke softly – " I don't want to hurt you Zoya, and I don't want to make you cry...", and he spoke softly, spotting Arnav and Khushi making their way towards them – " I had messaged Khushi to come here when we reached..ill leave you alone with them...",and he started to walk away.
Zoya wiped her tears as she stood up and sat on the bench as she asked softly – " where are you going??"
Asad spoke softly fighting his own anguish, he didn't have it in him to speak further without breaking down and he didn't want to in front off her – "I don't know...", and with that he walked away.
...............
Arnav looked at Khushi worriedly as he asked walking towards Zoya and Asad – " somethings off isn't it?? What do you think has happened...??"
Khushi looked at him – " yes, something isn't right...but lets see...",and she halted in the track as she held her brothers hand as she asked – "bhaijaan what happened?? Did you talk to her?? Is it true?? Whatever Abir said??"
Asad gulped his emotions as he spoke – " yes, its true..."
Arnav looked at him – " where are you going??"
Asad – " I don't know, but I need to be alone for a while, you guys just take care of Zoya, iv never seen her cry like she did today..take her home", and he handed the car keys to Arnav, and with that he walked away.
Khushi looked at Arnav as she spoke – "hell be fine, too much has happened, its too much to process...lets give him some time..."
Arnav watched the drooped shoulders of his friend, and it pained him as he looked towards Zoya who sat on the bench frozen looking into nowhere.
Zoya felt a hand on shoulder from one end, which she knew was off Khushi, and right then she felt a hand on her head, which she knew was off her brother and she felt them sit next to her on each side, as Khushi made her lean on her shoulder and her brother held her hand, and she felt those tears return as she sobbed – " Im sorry, im so sorry, for lying to you and bhai too, but I was scared that if you knew, Asad would know, and he...and he...",and she continued to sob.
Arnav took a deep breathe it was heartwrenching to watch his little sister in so much misery and pain as he spoke softly – "and he wouldn't leave your side, or let you go..."
Zoya nodded silently,as Khushi brushed her hair tenderly – " shhh, ok... just let it out ok, just let out all that youv been keeping in all this while, torturing yourself like this being away from all of us, being away from bhaijaan too..I understand Zoya, I do, maybe if I had been in yourself, I would have tried to push Arnav away too.."
Arnav's eyes locked with Khushi's and he acknowledged thw exchange of raw emotion in between their hearts, and he pulled his sister for a hug as he spoke brushing her hair – " and I would have done exactly what Asad is trying to do now, I wouldn't have ever let Khushi do what you are trying to do to Asad, too bad we all couldn't see behind your mask, its our bad..."
Zoya sobbed into her brothers arms as she spoke – " no it isn't, its just that I was putting up a brilliant act..."
Arnav brushed her hair tenderly – " but you can fool the world, but not yourself, or your heart, look at what you have done to yourself in the process, you'v literally withered my little baby...."
Zoya spoke softly – " but im not good enough for him anymore...he cant do this, he has to understand, you saw my reports, I have no clue if I will be able to walk on both my feet ever again..."
Khushi sighed – "and even a fool can see see, why is that..."
Arnav nodded – " its because, you don't have Asad by your side stupid, your so miserable inside that it's a hindrance in your recovery, let his love heal you Zoya, I know you will be fine, I trust that love is the only miracle we all need in our lives, and you very well know that coming from me, from experience, is a big thing , I realized after inflincting a lot of pain on khushi and myself that all I needed was her, I don't want you to burn yourself , suffer like I did, and realize the truth, open your eyes to the fact that Asad is the only thing you need right now, his love is the only thing that has the power to heal that pain inside off you..."
Khushi felt tears roll down her eyes as she looked at Arnav and then towards Zoya – "I couldn't agree more, I have done the same right, been in denial, almost married someone else, only good for me that he turned out to be the bad guy, otherwise imagine what would I have done , only because I didn't want to accept the fact that Arnav was all I needed, I needed an encounter with death to accept the truth..."
Arnav flinched as Khushi mentioned that bit, and he heard Zoya speak – " please don't even go there, you have no idea what we all went through..."
Khushi gave her a small smile – " just like you have no idea how its killing all of us to watch you torture yourself...how its killing bhaijaan bit by bit each day, each second, each minute, a little but more,and it's the same for you, we know..."
Arnav clutched Zoyas hand – " or maybe its been even worse for you, right Zoya??"
Zoya nodded silently, as fresh tears oozed out – " its been worse, its been so bad, I cant eat, I cant sleep, I cant go on like this....i love him so so so much, I forgave him a long time ago, bhai...",and she sobbed into his arms.
Khushi rubbed her arm lovingly – " then don't do this Zoya,, you don't have too, or maybe you haven't forgiven yourself inside deep within..."
Arnav nodded – " have you forgiven yourself for the what happened, for the fact that you misunderstood him, or for the fact that the accident happened because you believe you were too careless..."
Zoya looked at the two of them, they could read her well, now that she sat in front of them bare off any mask, and she spoke softly – " I was careless, bhai, I only have myself to blame, it all started because off me, and the accident, only if I hadn't been so careless, we wouldn't have lost our child....i cant forgive myself, I don't know to bhai, I don't know how to Khushi....", and she sobbed into their embrace.
Khushi wiped her own tears at watching Zoya like this as she spoke – " its much easier to forgive the other than to forgive ones own self, I understand, but you will figure it out, let that love beat in your heart, it will teach you how to Zoya, and it will heal you, let bhaijaan love you, Zoya, please?? Let him be there for you...you love him don't you, like you used too?? If not more..."
Zoya nodded – " ofcourse I love him, even more than before, its only heightened with this separation..but..."
Arnav smiled , finally he heard what he wanted to from his sisters mouth – " finally, you spoke something that made sense, did you tell him that?? Did you tell Asad that you love him??"
Zoya wiped her tears – " I couldn't, I mean he asked me, but I couldn't get myself to muster what I felt, I haven't even forgiven myself yet, im just such a mess right now, he doesn't need that..."
Khushi – " you are what he needs, mess or no mess, it doesn't matter Zoya..."
Arnav wanted to make the moment light as he spoke – " imust thank him for his patience though...come to think of it Zoya, we Raizada siblings have given them such a hard time, but these Khan siblings just don't seem to give up on their purety and love for us...we are lucky Zoya, to have them love us..realise it before its too late..."
Khushi gave him a small smile as she said – "and what would we do, if the Raizada siblings hadn't lit up our world huh??cmon Zoya, I know you need sometime to think things through...you know what lets take you home, sleep pver it, freshen up, think and talk to bhaijaan when you think you are ready too..ok??"
Arnav looked at Zoya – " my love here makes an excellent point, doesn't she??"
Zoya gave them a small smile – " when does she not?? I must say, shes gotten smarter in your company.."
Khushi winked at Arnav as she spoke – " and I couldn't agree more..now cmon lets go..."
Zoya stood up,and followed her brother and best friend, feeling a lot lighter,venting the misery out had really helped.
..................
Meanwhile Simultaneously
Yana lied down on the bed after freshing up and she picked up the book she was reading, right when she heard a knock on the door, and she walked upto the door to open it, and the minute she did , she felt her insides freeze for she saw Abir standing in front of her,and one look and she felt her heartbeats fasten like they hadn't in a long time, but she composed herself she could do so easily because the failed relationships she had, had in her life ended up teaching her a lot, and she gave him a small smile as she spoke – " hey , you, its been a long long time..."
The minute she had opened the door, Abir had felt his heart stop, like literally stop, as it basked in the sight off her, the one he had truly loved and lost, nothing in her had changed, she looked the same, but even more gorgeous than before, it had been five years, five months, and fifteen days since he last saw her.He gave her a small smile as he spoke – " its been exactly five years, five months and fifteen days.."
Yana raised her eyebrow – "how could I forget youv always been good with your numbers.."
Abir nodded and he asked – " May I come in?? im sorry for dropping in suddenly..."
Yana wanted to drop a brick on his head for doing so, because now she didn't have any time to practice what she had rehearsed in her head to talk to him, because having him in front of him all of sudden, had made her mind go blank all of a sudden, but she hid all her emotions as she said with a small smile – " no no , its ok, come on in..."
He walked in and he instructed himself to calm down as he sat down on the sofa and she took the sofa in front of him as she spoke – " finally im here, in Interlaken, it's a beautiful place, I remember how you would mention about its beauty all the time.."
Abir raised an eyebrow – " you remember??"
Yana – " ofcourse, how could I forget, you would sing about it to everyone, everyday...but I wouldn't disagree, its indeed beautiful.."
Abir smiled – " thank you, im glad you finally agree.."
Yana – " so I got to know that you are on the way to become a hotshot business tycoon, well good for you, im happy to hear youv succeeded, honestly I always believed you would make it big one day, you had it in you..."
Abir smiled at the memory of the past as to how she had always been so motivating and encouraging towards his career choices and he spoke – "maybe because I always had your good wishes with me..."
Yana smiled to herself, he still was very clever, and that smile still had the charm to melt ice and she spoke honestly – "always, iv always wished for you to be well, and be happy..."
Abir knew she was stating the truth and he spoke softly – " thank you, even after how badly I screwed up....i didn't even get the chance to apologize..im sorry yana for eveything"
Yana flinched at the mention of the past and she spoke curtly and honestly – " don't be Abir, I wanted commitment, you weren't ready for it, that's it, happens you know just because we were together didn't mean we wanted the same things from Life..."
Abir looked at her as he spoke softly – " you left, you just left without saying anything, and you wouldn't talk to me everytime I tried too..."
Yana smiled at her stupidity – " yeah I know, I gave you the best silent treatment I could have ever given anyone...I did wonder maybe could be the reason I thought of you at times, when I shouldn't have, maybe we both never got the closure we needed, and that's why im here, so that we can both get the closure our relationship deserved..."
Abir looked at her, for a second, she looked the same, but a lot had changed, she had become more straight forward and more to the point, more curt, more practical maybe, which he didn't know was a good news or a bad news for his heart and he spoke softly – "I thought off you everyday, it killed me that you wouldn't even let me explain or apologize, or even give me another chance, and then I get the news that you were getting married..."
Yana looked at him – " and maybe it didn't work out for me, because I didn't have your best wishes..."
Abir paled at that as he spoke – " no way, I always wished for you to be happy Yana, always..."
Yana smiled – " im kidding silly, wheres your sense of humuor, iv learnt to laugh at my misery sometimes, makes it easier to deal with you know, I stopped taking myself so seriously a long time ago..."
Abir nodded as he asked softly – " how are you doing?? What happened, I mean if you don't mind me asking.."
Yana – " about my divorce?? No no, ofcourse not, sometimes it just isn't meant to be no matter how hard you try, and it's the trying that kills you, that's what happened, we both felt we could fall in love with each other over time, which we didn't no matter how much we tried, I don't blame him because I maybe didn't have it in me anymore to give him what he seeked and the same goes for him, happens for some people, doesn't happen for some, sometimes a relationship has everything, but that foundation and root of love which you build your life on...its ok iv accepted it, happily ever afters aren't just meant for me...", and she got up and poured water in two glasses for the two of them as she asked – "anyways enough about me, how have you been??why aren't you married yet??"
Abir looked at her as he sipped his water and gulped it all down as he spoke softly – " maybe because I never got over you.."
Yana choked on her water as she looked at him confused – " what do you mean??"
Abir covered up his slip up as he spoke – " I mean like you said, I didn't get the closure I needed to move on.."
Yana nodded – " sorry about that...you didn't deserve all the silence I gave you.."
Abir – " its ok...anyways I have a meeting that I have scheduled in this hotel itself, so I will see you in a while maybe if you don't mind catching up, I mean its been forever.."
Yana nodded – " yeah why not, like you said its been five years, five months and fifteen days..."
Abir nodded as he walked to the door, and he spoke – " ill call you then..."
Yana smiled – "sure...",and she closed the door,and she then put a hand on her heart as she composed her heartbeats, they hadn't gone haywire like this for the last five years, five months and fifteen months.
Abir stood frozen to the spot as the door closed to the spot, and the way his heart was beating he realized that he didn't need a closure to move on, all he needed was Yana, to move on, and to start their life together, because even today after all this while his heart only wanted the one that it was the happiest with, and even today he stood frozen in time, deeply in love with Yana.
.................
An Hour Later
Abir watched his business client leave and he started to make his way out himself off the small restaurant in the hotel, right when he spotted Asad enter in through the lobby.
He immediately went over to him as he asked – " hey, how did it go??", and then he looked at the ecpression on his face and he realized that the man stood in front of him completely dejected, and he asked slowly – " looks like somethings off, please don't tell me that Zoya still admit the truth to you...??"
Asad took a deep breathe, as he answered – " well she did, she did open about the truth..."
Abir smiled as he patted his shoulder – " that's great..", he paused as he asked inquisitive – " but then why are you here and not with her right now??"
Asad sighed – " well you know her well don't you, what do you think happened.."
Abir rolled his eyes – " still trying to shut the door to your face huh??"
Asad nodded – " yup, still shoving the fact in my face that I am better off without her...", and he paused for a second as a ironical smile came up on his face – " ironical how the stubbornness I fell in love with is now causing me so much pain, I used to love that she is so headstrong and strong willed, and maybe I still do, I don't want to change that about her in anyway, but definetly in the way she is dealing with us...god, this woman is going to drive me insane...anyways you tell me, how did it go for you??"
Abir smiled – "not bad, how about lets get some dose of caffine while we talk about the ladies who rule our hearts.."
Asad smiled,as he followed Abir, he really could do with venting things out, and he knew that the man in front of him, had the best interests of Zoya in his mind too, and he sat in front of Abir as he asked, inquisitive – "was Yana here with you, I mean I saw you getting out of here when I came in.."
Abir smirked – " id wish she was, well no...she wasn't , I had scheduled a meeting that couldn't be postponed here itself, just finished that..."
Asad – " how come?? I though you had all your attention over Yana today.."
Abir smiled – " yes I do, but I had because I had expected her too shut the door on my face, so I had Plan B in place, I thought if she did shut the door on my face I could come here have a meeting, clear my head, and then go and try again in round 2, but..."
Asad smiled – " but she didn't shut the door to your face.."
Abir smiled – " yup, actually it wasn't bad, not bad at all, but shes changed , shes become more practical, more straightforward you know, more crisp and precise, and more to the point, which I dont know is a good news or a bad news forthis poor organ in the middle of my chest..", he finished with a dramatic action by placing a hand over his heart.
Asad laughed at that as he spoke – " im glad you were here to make Zoya laugh, you really are a good friend.."
Abir laughed – "but the real news is, that iv realized that I still love her, and now im going have to go back to that book in my headto recheck my notes on Wooing Yana, and getting back what I lost..."
Asad smiled – " good for you, and let me know if you need my help..",and he paused as he spoke – " btw just so you know, Zoya is really mad at you, ok..like really mad..."
Abir – " I know, I know, I can imagine, its ok, iv embraced myself for the tsunami of her anger..ill handle it don't worry...now will you tell me exactly what happened.."
Asad sighed and he started to talk, leaving out the extremely emotional personal details ofcourse.
........................
2 Hours Later –
Arnav watched from the doorway, as Khushi brushed Zoya's head tenderly as she slept, and she gently tucked the blanket around her and she placed a kiss on her forehead, before she made her way out of the room and she smiled at him, and he just placed his arm around her shoulder lovingly, and they shut the door to her room,and he spoke – " I almost forgot, you almost love Zoya more than I do.."
Khushi smiled – " I do..",and she spoke – " don't worry she will be fine, it's a good thingw e made her eat before itself, its better if she sleeps through the night, when she wakes up in the morning, im sure she will have a fresh perspective of things..."
Arnav sighed as he walked with Khushi towards the small living room as he spoke – " I could only hope so..."
Khushi sat on the sofa and gestured him to sit next to her, as she took out her phone – " on that note, lets speak to bhaijaan, I hope hes doing fine...I have no clue where he went.."
Arnav gave her a small smile – " I checked up on him while you were with Zoya inside, hes fine, hes at the hotel with Abir and Yana, hes having dinner with them, and he also says that he will be staying at the hotel tonight..."
Khushi nodded as she kept her phone aside – " ok, but how is he??"
Arnav – " disturbed surely, but holding it well...why don't you talk to him for a while, in the meanwhile, ill talk to di, she should know about this..."
Khushi nodded, and she picked up her phone and called her brother, and while the phone rang she kissed Arnav lightly on the cheek as she mouthed a silent "I love you" to him, and made her way out to the other room.
Arnav smiled lovingly, as he picked up his phone to call his sister, with the hope that his younger sibling realized te power of love and how it can heal you just in time, before its too late.
..........
A while Later –
Khushi walked into the room, to see Arnav lying down on the bed,and she immediately went up and snuggled into him, and he kissed her forehead as he spoke – " hes fine, he says, he doesn't want to make her cry anymore, and whenever he comes in front of her she ends up crying her eyes out, so its better if shes by herself tonight for shes had enough for the day, and he will return to his mission tomorrow.."
Arnav smiled – " well, getting Zoya to understand is no less than a mission..di is shocked, but not much, she kind of suspected something like this long ago...but she didn't say anything, because she believes sometimes one needs space and time to come around on their own...and she has hope that everything will be ok soon, now that the truth is out in front of Asad"
Khushi snuggled closer into him – " ofcourse, I have hope too, actually im sure I know my bhaijaan too well,and obviously now that I think off it di would have suspected, she knows you both inside out..afterall shes been like a mother to the growing up Chotte and Zoya"
Arnav grinned – " well you got that right, but you cant call me Chotte ok..."
Khushi propped up on her arm as she stuck out her tongue at him – " I can and I will..chotte, chotte , chotte..."
Arnav propped up on his arm and attacked khushi with his hands, tickling her insane as she laughed around on reflex as she squealed in between – " please don't, don't tickle me...you know, I can't...", and he attacked her again making her break into a string of involuntary laughter.
Khushi defended herself against his tickling onslaught as she spoke – " please stop...",and he showed some mercy and he stopped, as he caged her arms above her head as he spoke with a gin of triumph on his face – " call me chotte again, and you know what will happen..."
Khushi grinned as she composed her heaving breathes – " ok fine, I promise, I wont tease, you again, now let me go.."
Arnav grinned as he tightened his grip on her hands, as he leaned closer into her – " where do you think you are going huh?? Asad isn't here, so you are staying with me tonight..."
Khushi watched hhim leaning closer into her, as she spoke,now unable to think straight because of his closeness – " are you insane what if bhaijaan comes early in the morning..?? you will get us caught.."
Arnav cupped her face tenderly – " about time we get caught, Khushi..dont you think, Khushi.."
Khushi gave him a small smile – " yes, but I want us to tell bhai, not for him to find out like this, now come on, let me go, and ill sleep with Zoya.."
Arnav didn't let her get up as he pushed her back into the bed – " no way, I promise ill wake up up at dawn and you can go to Zoya's room.."
Khushi groaned – " you wont let me go until you get what you want wont you??"
Arnav grinned – " ofcourse...",and he paused as he kissed her forehead sincerely as he spoke – " not just what I want, what I need, I need you by my side Khushi as I sleep, for the sleep I get with you in my arms is the most peaceful slumber..and now iv gotten used to it over the past couple of days.."
Khushi pecked his lips softly as she spoke – " it's a good thing, because I need your arms around me too...I love you so so so much.."
Arnav – " I love you too..",and with that he closed the distance in between their lips, and kissed her mindlessly, and just as she started responding to him in the way that drove him insane, he couldn't really control his emotions, as all he wanted to do was make love to the woman he so desperately loved.
And he did exactly what he wanted to, he made love to her over and over again, until they were both exhausted and sleep took over.
.................
London – Midnight
Arhaan looked at his phone, as he waited for the call to come, and he looked out the window of the hotel room into the London skyline, deep in thought, thinking of the Life he had lived so far.
Pain, anguish, depression, anger, revenge, was what he had lived with, until he had met Khushi.
Falling in love with her had been the only good thing that had happened to him,and he had now become used to living without her in his life, he had become used to the fact that she never wanted to see him again, but he was content, because those memories of her were enough to last him a lifetime.
He picked up the file, next to him and re-read everything that he had arranged.
It was just the perfect plan.
And now all he needed was to see Khushi again, because he had too,he had too let her know that she could now live in peace wthout any fear his uncle coming after her, because he was dead and so was his aunt.He had to tell her about the accident they had all been in, that had now changed his life again.
He wiped a tear out of his eye, once again, he was orphaned, left with no one to turn to in his life.
No one except for Khushi.
Just then his phone rang and he picked it up as he heard what the person had to say and he spoke – " you are sure about it right?? Ok then, book me on the flight to Zurich tomm night, I will be able to settle things till then".
He took a deep breathe as he walked back to the bed and drank a glass of water, he was glad of the decisions he had taken.
Life had come a full circle, ironically, and now it was time to meet Khushi, one more time.He knew that she didn't want to, but now the circumstances were different.
Completely different, maybe just maybe he could get her to agree to talk to him once in a while, for he really had no one he could trust right now with his emotions but her.
Ironical though, how even though she wasn't with him anymore, her memories were the only thing he had needed so far to keep going.
She really was the only he had prayed for, for she was the only thing he had needed in his life to start over, but he had sinned too much to have his prayers answered, so he could only hope, that she would give him a chance and meet him, and listen to what he had to say.That devilish organ in the middle of his chest started beating fast just at the mere thought of seeing Khushi, and he felt a sad smile curve up his lips as he browsed his phone and opened the old pictures he had saved off Khushi, she really had been the only one he had ever truly loved.
.............................
Hate sat deep in thought as he tried to comprehend the reasons why Love hadn't come into the Emotions headoffice for three days in a row, why was she missing, it had been the longest time since she had taken a off as well, and he felt his worry rise, as he picked up his phone to see that there was no reply to his messages as well.
Dammit, she was strange, the most strange thing he had ever come across.
Fate looked at Hate who sat deep in thought on his desk as he walked up to him as he raised his eyebrow – " you wouldn't be the reason why love hasn't come in for three days now, or are you??"
Hate looked at him confused – " huh?? What do you mean??"
Fate glared at him – " I mean, did you tell her something, or did you make some usual snide comments about her existence that hurt her??"
Hate immediately spoke to his defence – " no I didn't..and what I speak with her is none of your business anyway..keep out of my affairs fate.."
Right then Destiny walked upto them as she asked – " whats the argument about huh?? Calm down please.."
Fate looked at her – "well, I was just questioning him if hes done something to hurt Love, he always does things, says thing that upset her..."
Destiny rolled her eyes – "well, no he hasn't, relax, shes taken a off for a couple of days, shell be back soon.."
Fate looked at her with narrowed eyes – " why don't I know about this??"
Destiny rolled her eyes – " because she messaged me, and you didn't ask, and moreso, youv been too busy with Misery..", she finished with a wink.
Fate rolled his eyes – " very funny, im not too occupied with her ok, see right now shes out with Happiness for coffe, did I join in, no, I believe that everyone needs space...",and he turned to get back to his desk but he looked at Hate as he spoke pointing his fingers in a V from his eyes towards him – " ill be watching you..."
Hate rolled his eyes at Fate, and excused himself as he made his way to the storage room, he needed some alone time to think, and he couldn't do so in front of the hovering eyes of Fate and Destiny.He enetered the room, and picked up a few case files, and started to read through them , to reconfirm what his mind had been telling him all around.
30 Minutes Later
He groaned in frustration as he brushed his hand through his air, and closed the files, as he sighed, it really was the time to accept the the fact he had been denying until now- that by some weird twist of the universal laws – it was impossible for him to feel at ease without Love around.
He needed to see her, even if it was from afar, which mostly had always been the case, just a sight was enough to let him feel that ease, no wonder everytime he had been away he had that stupid hollow feeling ruling his head.
Strange how they were poles apart, two different beings at the different end of the tangents of emotions, but yet, that thin line of connection always existed between them.
Ironical though how he had desperately hated Love all this while, trying to keep a miles distance from her, when there was this truth that he couldn't deny any longer – that for him to exist in peace, he very much needed Love.
And maybe it was time to let Love know about this ironical discovery he had just made, and he smiled to himself as he made a mental note to get Love alone for a talk the minute she was back.
It was about time to talk eye to eye about what had been tying Hate-Love to each other since the dawn of time.
...............................