Requested by BlueShadow_ME 🙂
⚠️WARNING⚠️
Extreme themes ahead (depression and attempted suicide)
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He kept knocking on your door, calling out your name repeatedly.
"Angelica, you okay?" He asked, concern draped his tone, "I'm going to beat everything up. It won't taste good if you come late and it's cold."
He waited there, ear on the door, hearing for a reply. "Y-Yeah I'm... I'll be there in ten minutes," You responded, and you watched his shadow, from under the door, walk away.
You got up from your seat on your bed, where you were hugging your knees and sobbing quietly. He was your boyfriend, you've been with him for two years and you'd think it would be fine... that people would have got used to it but you were wrong.
Misha's fans turn out to be quite loyal and enthusiastic, taking side with an actor who isn't the usual centre of attention, compared to Jared or Jensen.
He's been on the show 'Supernatural' for years now and you being with him for a couple of them would 'obviously' result in some fandom rage.
They throw hate at you on social media, they don't usually acknowledge your presence if Misha's with you. It was fine at first, you thought it was some sort of strong joke and that they need to get acquainted with the idea of Misha being in a relationship but over time, it just hurt you. You think you'd get used to it but you can't find some sort of calm amongst all the hatred.
But it would be deception to say that all of them do that. Most of the fans are really supportive and are always looking forward to life updates from you and Misha but these specific people just make living so much harder.
You stared at your puffy eyes and droopy face in the bathroom mirror. You had been crying all evening after seeing the comments and replies on your social media accounts.
You washed your face and dried it in attempt to freshen up. You still showed signs of sadness. You hoped that Misha wouldn't notice.
With all his work and commitments, you don't want to bother him with a problem like this. He's way too important for this world.
You stared at the sink, at your hands gripping the porcelain sink.
Maybe I could end it with my hands, right now, You thought then paused, I don't think I could though. I'm not strong enough.
You looked to the cabinet at the side of the mirror. There were two bottle of pills, you held it in your hand and stared.
Is it worth it... taking my life? I could ask Mish for help, he cares for me right? You thought, Who am I kidding? He probably doesn't care about me.
You opened the cap and poured out a handful, looking at them blankly in the palm of your hand.
You gulped then threw them back inside the bottle and put the bottle in the cabinet.
"But I love him... doesn't that mean something?" You questioned yourself, "He must have chosen me for some reason."
You wore a fresh shirt then walked out of the room, trying your best to look cheery and as if everything is alright.
You saw Misha setting the table, wearing two over mittens. You smiled slightly then approached him.
"Hi sweetheart, everything alright?" He side hugged you then kissed you on the cheek. You nodded your head slowly, trying your best to stay content.
You glanced at all the food, it smelt amazing. Misha had prepared everything tonight, it was a treat from his side. You sat at your spot and he sat opposite you, a smile on his face.
He gestured for you to dig in and you forces a smile on your face. You were starving but... You didn't want to eat anything.
All of a sudden you just didn't want to be here.
You looked at him, the shine in his eyes and the glow in his cheeks... He was too precious and you didn't want to spoil his life.
He's given you everything and what have you done for him?
"Maybe I should just finish end my life," You said to yourself then got up from your seat abruptly.
"Angelic what's-"
"I need some time alone Misha!" You exclaimed and ran into your room and slammed the door shut.
Misha banged on the door, shouting your name and messing around with the door knob.
"Go away Misha!" You yelled through your tears and stormed into the bathroom, reaching for the pills in the cabinet.
Suicide... solving your problems the easy way. But do I want it to be like this? You thought, I can't stand living in a world with people who can be so awful and inconsiderate.
You unscrewed the pill bottle cap and dumped all the pills into your hand. You threw the bottle into the dustbin and-
"ANGELICA!"
You snapped your head to the bathroom door, Misha banged on it then turned the handle.
Damn it, I should have locked it! You thought.
"Angelica you don't-"
He stared at your hand them looked up to you with disbelief and heartbreak. "What the hell are you doing?!" He questioned, stepping forward.
"This is for your own good! I have no use, all I'll cause you is misery," You cried out and brought your hand closer to your mouth.
Misha put his arms out cautiously, "Wait, just WAIT we can sort this out okay? Talk to me please! You would never cause me misery-"
"That's all I do to your fans! They keep hating on me even though I haven't done anything wrong! What am I supposed to do?!" You shouted and he moved closer.
"Ending your life... It's not-Come on Angelica you're better than that! You bring me so much happiness," Misha told, "Coming back home is the best time for me because I can finally spend as long as I want with the one person I really care about."
You looked at him, unable to respond. He had tears rolling down his cheeks, "I l-love you okay? More than anything and if you leave the world... I don't know what I'd do... It wouldn't be the same without you."
You stared at the sink blankly and he approached you slowly.
"Look, just leave this and have dinner with me and then you can tell me everything," He held your hands then took all the pills from your palm and threw them into the bin.
He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer. You grabbed his shirt and cried into his chest.
"P-Please don't leave me Misha..." You sobbed and he clenched his jaw then kissed your head.
"I would never leave you."
After having dinner and talking to you both what's going on with you, he was definitely going to have a live stream with his fan followers.
This was the last straw.
He had to let them know hat damage they were doing.
And it was hurting him inside too.