So, if this goes any longer, I might just make How Could You? A separate
e book, what do you guys think? Anyways here's part five and it goes a bit dark. Just a warning. Enjoy!
~°~°~°~°~
Dean had this uneasy feeling about Sam, who explained that he was his brother and boyfriend once the nurses left the room.
He still remembered his life of hunting, but he just couldn't recite the last few days.
He knew of Ruby and still had that feeling of distrust and that she had ulterior motives as to why she was "helping" Sam, but now that distrust also seemed to be connected to Sam too.
What had Sam done to earn that distrust?
Dean remembered, the simple love and trust Sam and him held for one other, until Ruby came in, and Dean just felt threatened by her presence, and it wasn't just jealously, and the fact that she was a demon, but that Sam was believing that she could actually help.
That she was on their side, but saying for them, or rather, Sam, to kill Lilith he would need more demon blood.
He sighed, all these emotions, the one from the good memories and the more darker ones from the more recent events that he had yet to recall.
All this hurt, anger, distrust, the feelings of betrayal.
Then there was the overwhelming amount of self hate, loathing, sadness, and loss.
He just couldn't escape and in his mind he felt trapped, the only positivity were from the few, warm, happy memories he would recall, each time his paranoia hightened or his self hate.
He knew Sam was there to help, but he couldn't help but feel that it wasn't genuine, that Sam was just following a drilling manual.
Which didn't help his over the top emotions at all...
Dean felt like he was at a crossroads, where every turn seemed like a bad one, but as he already seemed to be going to Hell, he didn't think dying was an answer yet.
He didn't want to go there too early.
He didn't know what to do, so he did nothing waiting to see which of bad choices turned out to be better.
Dean knew that if he started to recall his memories, he would most definitely break, depending on the way he found out.
Dean curled up into himself the best he could with his leg in a cast, taking himself back into the happier memories.
The ones that didn't hurt as much.
~°~°~°~°~
Sam watched as Dean curled in to himself, his eyes squeezed shut, wondering what was going inside that head of his.
While Dean had been staring off into space, Sam had called Bobby and explained everything that has happened, leaving out the Ruby parts and the reason why Dean left Sam behind. He now knew that Dean's broken down Impala was at Bobby's so when his brother snapped out of his stupor, he'd tell him.
But, now he was just thinking of a story that made sense, and would fit with what would happen.
The cog wheels in his head kept on turning as he thought to himself, what would make Dean trust him more and possibly eventually welcome Ruby with open arms?
After all Ruby was perfect for them, she was helping Sam with his pyschic abilities, and it would bring something new and different to their relationship.
She could join in, and if Dean didn't want to be left out, he even could have some of her blood as well.
Though he knew that would be way way off into the future, once they prevented the apocalypse, and found more stable ground mentally and physically.
Then it clicked, he could tell Dean that he discovered him and Ruby in a room together, and misunderstood what they were doing.
He could tell Dean that she was just lending him her blood, so they could kill Lilith and if wasn't anything about how Dean was pleasing him or anything, but just with the fact that he needs to become stronger.
Ruby which he would end up meeting with again, to practise his powers against another demon to see where his power levels at, would also confirm it when he talked to her about the plan.
Then he would spend the rest of the night with her, once visiting hours were over.
He would let Dean fix the Impala, then form a closer more stable bond with him.
He stopped his thoughts there, as more darker ones fell through, and if Dean didn't believe him or want to stay, Sam would make him.
He was Dean's and Dean was his, but Sam also was Ruby's.
If Dean regained his true memories...
No....that wouldn't happen....
He could talk to Ruby, and see how far his powers extended, if he was powerful enough, could he suppress Dean's memories for good?
He could actually meld Dean into the person he wanted, of course still keeping a few personality and core traits, along with a few memories that didn't affect anything, so it would still be Dean.
But more of his Dean.
Though, he couldn't think like this just yet, he would keep it in mind, just in case.
Right now he had to go with Plan A.
Plan B was for later.