Chapter 21 - The Distant Road
Just sometimes, in Life, there are a few paths that the heart may want to tread,but reality stands in like a speed breaker,making us face the fact, that,sometimes the roads that the hearts want to tread, are really very distant.
..........
Arnav watched Khushi out of the corner of his eye as he asked again - " you will listen to me??"
Khushi folded her arms as she nodded - " yes,and its not because I have to, its because i know, you will not let it go until I do,and I don't want to play games with you,no hide and seek,for a change, let us both be honest, you wanted to me to hear you out, go ahead,..."
Arnav looked at her face,she meant it, he could sense it,and she didn't look angry anymore, she looked exhausted.He saw her sit on the sofa across,and she finally looked at me in the eye,as she said - " Im listening..."
Arnav took a deep breath,he felt nervous, for he didn't know where to begin,he wanted to go right across and pull her into his arms,but he couldn't,because even though they were both in front of each other, there was a stark distance, that she had marked in between them.
He took a deep breath,aand walked across,and sat next to her,and he said in a slow voice - " Khushi, will you look at me please?"
And she did,and the confusion in her eyes, was evident and she asked - " what??"
He looked into her eyes,as he finally started to speak - " Khushi, you know, the past,between our families, its too complicated, its twisted,and its painful,the hatred has been a direct result of the fateful day, that changed everything.I have been living with it, feeling it, for the last ten years, its been driving me, my mind has been trained to hate,by default.When I found out, about who you really were,something really just flipped,its like my mind went into the hate mode,straightway,the anger, the hurt, because of your lie, just blinded me so damm much..."
Khushi spoke cautiously - " so you are here to tell me, that? that you hate me by default of my name, my family?I already know that,Arnav...."
She saw him look at her in the eye again and she thought she saw so many different emotions, it was really difficult to understand what was on his mind,but she waited in silence , waiting for him to continue.
Arnav took a deep breath as he answered - " no, I am not here, to tell you that, I am here to tell you, that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hate you Khushi,I was angry at you, so angry, and I was furious with myself, for still thinking about you,for still wanting you,and so all the anger,every bit of it,drove me insane,and I lashed it all out on you,even though deep down, i knew it, that I could be making a mistake, but i didn't care that time, all I wanted was to, hurt you,because of your lie,that had put me in the conflicting position in the first place, I held you responsible for all of that,but at the same time, the emotions that I had for you,what I felt would surface,and I didn't know how to face any of it,and so i did the one thing my mind is accustomed to do, in such situations,It runs away from reality far into denial,and i just end up shutting down my emotions.But Khushi....", and he searched her eyes,and all he could see was anguish but he continued - " but, none of that could change what I felt for you,I thought of you every single day,I missed you every minute, there were a zillion times,that I wrote you messages, i never sent, I couldn't get myself to let go of you,and it angered me further,because that never happened to me, ever before,and so I went a step further,and brought Lavanya back into my life, thinking that maybe I found get some peace,some solace, that i could get my feelings and my mind in sync, so that I could get you out of my systerm,but I failed, I failed so damm miserably,Khushi,Im here because im tired of running away from myself, from what I feel for you,and in all these months iv realised that you being Khushi Ahemed Khan,doesnt even matter anymore, all that matters is, what I feel...Khushi,will you forgive me, please?? I know iv hurt you real bad,but will you please believe that whatever I'm saying is the truth, I know I screwed up big time,but I ...",and he searched her face,and he couldn't take her silence anymore as he said - " Khushi, please say something, talk to me, please, just tell me whats on your mind..."
Khushi sat in shock,as she heard what he was saying,he was telling her that he was back for her,that he still felt the same.She felt her turmoil rise, she had never thought that she would be in such a situation in her life.The memories, all came back flooding in,and she felt her heart wrench in pain,and tears finally left her eyes ,as she looked at him and said - " I bared my heart out to you, I told you I loved you, I literally like literally begged you to listen to me , to understand, to see things from my shoes,all I wanted was for you to just look at me for who I am, other than my name,look into my eyes, and see, the love that I felt for you, I loved you with all my heart, I risked everything,I was up against my bhaijaan,in being with you, but I didn't care, because what I felt about you,was so strong, so pure....but...you...."
He heard speak,as tears continuously poured down her face,and the sight killed him,and he acted on instant,and rubbed her tears as he said cupping her face - "But i screwed it up, I know Khushi , I hurt you...",and he looked into her eyes, they were finally bare in front of him, reflecting her every emotion,but all he could see was pain,he couldn't see any love in them,and she didn't pull away from his hold and she looked into his eyes as she said - " but, you trampled over my heart just like that, in a second,you have no idea,how I felt, how broken I was, and when I figured, that you were back with lavanya, it was like as if you had just stabbed in so deep, and it was then it hit me, it wasn't just about me being Khushi Ahemed Khan, it was just about me, as a woman, who could never be...",and she feltt him wipe her tears away again, but he didn't interrupt her ,and she took a deep breath - " you just threw me out of your life, like a fly,and you have no idea, how that felt, but I came to terms with it, because i loved you,I wanted you to be happy,and if you didn't want me in your life, it was a decision I had to live with...", she finally got up,and walked across of him, with her back to him, as tears continued to flow,she didn't want him to see her like this,as she relived every bit of pain and emotion as she continued - " Arnav,I will be lying, if i say, that I wasn't a mess,after you left,I was a wreck,There were times, I cried all night, because I couldn't get myself to stop thinking of you, of what we had, all your memories and i would cry until sleep would come, you know thats what is so crazy about a heartbreak,the anguish,and the pain,it burns you so bad, until one day it finally stops hurting anymore,and you start healing then..."
Arnav saw the anguish the pain on her face, in her eyes, he really had hurt her beyond repair,and the guilt pricked him so bad and he walked to her and slowly made her turn around to look at him as he said - " Im sorry, Khushi, I really am, I cant change what I did, but i am here now,please tell me how to make this better, what can i do?"
Khushi looked into his eyes as she asked - " you think its so easy, Arnav, that you could just fly in and out like that,you do realise this isn't just about you anymore,I am not a toy, you can just toss around when you decide you are done,and want it back when you feel you still yearn for the toy, Im sorry, but it doesn't work like that, because I am a human being,and guess what I come with feelings and emotions,and a mind of my own,I am not just a robot, you can program according to your whims and fancies..."
Arnav held her by her arms - " Khushi, no, i didn't mean it like that....gosh no, I know I hurt you,and I know its my mistake, but all I want is one chance..."
Khushi looked at him straight in the eye as she said - " Arnav, I I'm sorry, I can't...."
Arnav felt something break inside of him,as he heard her and he asked, his own voice trembling as he asked - " Khushi...??"
Khushi sighed as she said - " look the only reason why we are having this conversation is because I feel we have this history,and its time,we both come to terms with it, but whatever we had was in the past, after all this time, nothing is the same anymore,everything has changed...and I have to be honest to you,I don't want to lie to you ever again,the truth is that I have moved on Arnav, i really have,and I have met someone else, that I really like..."
Arnav felt himself stiffen as he said - " Arhaan, so this is about him?"
Khushi said looking at him - " no,please, why cant you understand,its not about you or him, its about what I feel,what I want, Arnav...look there was a time you didn't want me in your life, and i accepted your decision,and after all that has happened, i think the least you can do is, accept mine, and respect it, you and me are over Arnav, for good...."
Arnav felt as if he had been whipped right , left and center,and he said cupping her face - " Look, i know you are angry,and i messed up, but dont do this to us, Khushi...please..."
For a flash, she was taken back to the moment, all those months ago,when she had asked him the very same thing.
But so much had changed, nothing was the same anymore,she didn't have the strength in her, to go back into that vortex, because she couldn't trust him ever again, what if one day he again changed his mind.She loved him,a part of maybe always would, but she couldn't trust him anymore,she didn't have it in her.
She caught his hands on her face and she said - " I wish, i could say otherwise, ARnav, but I can't there is no us, i just don't feel the same way , anymore..."
Arnav felt some sort of pain erupt inside of him,that was so sharp,that it shocked him, but he asked - " you said you loved me,and that maybe one day i could be able to see that,just that, that maybe one day it would be enough,Khushi, I am here, right in front of you bearing my heart out to you, for I am so sorry for what I did,but all i want is one chance,one chance,to make up for it, please..."
Khushi held onto his hand as she said - " I know, but Arnav, I cant lie to you about what I feel, I wish I had something else to say to you, but I don't have anything else to say,I loved you, I truly did,but I just don't have it in me anymore, I cant just flip my emotions like that, there isn't a switch, just from where do I get back a part of me that is dead? You have to understand and accept,that I loved you,and maybe that part of me always will, but right now, as of present,no I am not in love with you,and like I said, i just dont have it in me anymore,nor do i have the strength to trust you again...Im sorry, I can't..."
As much as it hurt him to listen to her, it was right on her face, she meant everything she had just said,and he said - " Khushi, I know you have no reason to trust me, but...I meant everything that I said,today, could you atlas believe me"
Khushi looked at him straight in the eye as she said - " I do believe you, Arnav, and I am sorry,for i can't give you what you want....please dont say anything more, don't make it more difficult for me, I dont want to hurt you"
And then she walked to her door and opened the door,gesturing that their conversation was now over ,and she wanted him to leave,and she saw him look her in the eye,and the pain and the emotion was so evident in his eyes, something that she had never seen before,and she whispered - " I am sorry, Arnav..."
Arnav knew he had to leave, for the storm of emotions that was building inside him,was going to reach a breakpoint,and he didn't trust himself to be around Khushi,he didn't want to hurt her any further,and so he could only whisper - " I am sorry too, Khushi,maybe one day that could be enough...",and he walked out her door,into his apartment.
Khushi shut the door behind her,and she finally sat down against it,and she cried,her heart out,because she had never ever felt so emotionally drained in her life.She knew she had done the right thing,but in the process, she had drained herself completely.She walked back to her room,and lied down in bed,she needed to sleep over what had just happened.She needed to sleep over, the heart to heart conversation that had just happened,between her and the man she had once loved,so deeply.
..............
Arnav closed the door behind him,and sat down against the door,and he closed his eyes.The storm of emotions,raged within him,the pain that he was feeling stabbed in his heart,so bad. It hurt so much ,to accept that she did feel the same anymore,he had just taken everything for granted.He had just thought,that Khushi, would just always be there, whenever, he was ready to turn to her, but he had never thought that she wouldn't be there on the other end.he had lost her, he knew he had,and it was all his fault ,and the pain pricked into his heart,and he banged his injured hand into the wall, but no, the physical pain could not out do the pain he was feeling inside.And right then,he felt his eyes wet,and he touched them to see tears rolling down his cheeks.He was crying.He didn't know he could cry, he hadn't cried ever after he had lost his father.But today, the pain he was feeling at the thought of actually loosing Khushi,was making him cry.And just like that in the moment so deep,so vulnerable, and so full of pain he realised, that the pain stabbed in his heart so deep,because he has just realised that he had just lost, the only girl he had ever loved.
He loved Khushi.
That is when it struck him,as all the memories flushed back into his his heart and mind,he was in love with her, he probably had been for a long time now, but he had been so so stupid,to not see it,he hadn't realised until now, when it was probably too late.
he had been an idiot, to not realise that he was in Love.
He, Arnav Singh Raizada, was in Love.
And he had been nothing but an arrogant ass, to her,he had been the jerk of the highest order,he had been nothing but a beast, to the beauty who had been in love with him, who he was in love with too,but because of his own blunders,he had lost her.
He quickly got up,and walked to the bathroom and washed his face,and he looked at his reflection and as Khushis memories came back to him, he saw himself smile,he had been happy, so happy with her,those moments were a bliss,and then he had brought on this pain and separation ,and loneliness upon them,and now the reason he had done so seemed so little to him, so so insignificant.And he hadn't stopped thinking of her day or night,her memories never left him, because he had always been in love with her.
He couldn't beleive, this was happening to him, he couldn't believe, that he was only realising it now,after he had been so brutal,to Khushi,after he had punished her for daring to love him,after he had thrown her out,because she had dared to trespass the boundaries of his heart.
But she had been in his heart then,and she was in his heart, now,there was no way, he could get her out of his system.he didn't want to.he couldn't let her go, he couldn't loose the only woman he had ever loved.
And the pain came stabbing back,as he realised, that it was too late, it really was,because he had lost her.She wasn't in love with him anymore,she didn't feel the same way, like he did.He was happy , that she wasn't in pain anymore,because the magnitude of the pain he was feeling right now was so immense,and he couldn't believe that he had inflicted that same pain upon the only woman he had ever loved.She had brought his deserted heart to life,and he had butchered not just his heart,but her's too.God, was there any way , just any way out of this mess, he had created for himself??
He recalled the conversation he had just had with Khushi,and what she had just said.
"You have to understand and accept,that I loved you,and maybe that part of me always will, but right now, as of present,no I am not in love with you,and like I said, i just dont have it in me anymore,nor do i have the strength to trust you again...Im sorry, I can't..."
He closed his eyes, those words rang in his ears again.
"Im sorry, Arnav, I just don't have it in me, anymore..."
"nor do I have the strength to trust you,again"
Dammit. He hated himself for doing this to her.
He hated himself for breaking her heart.
She had moved on.
She had met someone else.
And he had no one else but himself to blame,for the blunder he had committed.
She was right, the least he could do was accept her decision, after all that he had done.
But he would damm himself,if he lived with it,and didn't do anything to win the love of his life back.
She did say, that maybe a part of her would always love him,and he knew,now ,today in the present he had to make her fall in love with him, all over again.he had to swoon her off her feet, but before all of that,he had to gain her trust.
He felt drained, and exhausted, for these emotions had just caused a tsunami inside of him.But now there was just silence, and the deep realisation of how deeply he loved Khushi.
He closed his eyes,and lied down on the bed, he needed to get some sleep, to refresh himself, so that he could finally start acting on winning her back.Arnav Singh Raizada was in love with Khushi Ahemed Khan,and he would be dammed, if he just sat back,and watched someone else woo his princess.
.......
Alibag - 7 PM
Asad stood deep in thought,as he waited for Zoya to come.He smiled,he was content now,at peace.She said yes.And now they needed to figure out how to go about this.He was in two minds, he really did want to do it the right way,with the permission of her family and their enthusiastic involvement, but he knew Arnav Singh raizada, would be a obstacle in that, because the minute he would find out,he was sure he would do anything to snatch Zoya away from him,and so he had no other way out,but to be more inclined towards the second option, of a secret court marriage,but before saying anything he wanted to know, what was on Zoya's mind.
He turned,as he heard some footsteps,and he found himself looking at the woman of his dreams, as she walked towards him , looking like a angel or a goddess in the white long dress, he had picked out for her,it enhanced her curves,and the vision was so alluring,and so attractive, that he already wanted to haul her up in his arms, and take her back to his room,but he controlled that emotion,as he postponed it for later.
Zoya watched Asad look her from head to toe,and she felt herself shiver.How did he do that? how did he make her heat up,with just his gaze on her.She looked around,they were in the back lawn ,and it had all bin lit with lighting,and there was a table,underneatha gazebo,for the two of them,and he was standing right in front of the gazebo,while leaning on it,and looking at her,with the grin that gave her goosebumps.
She smiled,as she stepped closer to him, putting her hands on his shoulder,and she felt his hands go around her waist,as she said - "seriosuly stop looking at me like that, after all this while,i still get goosebumps,look..."and she gestured him to look at her arms.
Asad grinned as he said - " and after all this while,you still make my heart flip,everytime i see you walk you towards me,and even after all this while,my imagination can never do you justice...you look gorgeous..."
Zoya grinned as she said - " and please tell me,how can you pick dresses for me,when i am never around,and they just happen to be a perfect fit..."
Asad winked - "looks like I know your body, Zoya..."
Zoya flushed,as she whispered - " oh, that you surely do.."
And she looked around - " Asad, this is beautiful, you didn't need to..."
Asad took her by the hand and made her sit on the chair,and he sat across,and he said - " so, like I said, the plan was, to pop the question now,right under the moonlight,but thanks to my impulsiveness..."
Zoya immediately held his hand as she said - " didn't make it any less important,or beautiful, Asad..."
Asad smiled ,as he gestured for his staff, to start bringing in the first course - "well you always know what to say, Zoya.."
They started eating and Zoya heard him ask - " so have you thought about...how are we going to go about this..??"
Zoya gave him a small smile - "as happy as I am, Asad, i cant help but feel a little nervous, too, I am so excited for us,I really want to marry you straightaway,and I had always dreamed off...",and she let her voice wander.
Asad held her hand - " I know what you dreamed off, off your family being a very much part of it, Zoya i swear to god, if that situation was in our favour, i would have done everything..."
Zoya smiled - " I know , you would have done everything,and anything to give me my dream wedding...but, I know,thats not happening,because I am not sure, how will Bhai react, when you ask him for my hand?"
Asad - " oh yes, i though about that, Im sure, he will have me hauled and thrown out of Shantivan,by the security guards , or wait, I'm sure, hell give me a punch first...", he finished with a smirk.
Zoya - " and i would come and stand in front of you ,as your shield ,just so, you know, if that ever happened..."
Asad looked at her surprised - " you would??"
Zoya grinned- "for sure,I love you, I would never allow anyone harm you even if it was my blood,you have no idea, the wrath Zoya Singh Raizada, is capable off...maybe, i do love you more than you think I do, Asad..."
Asad winked- " it felt good to hear that for sure..."
Zoya resumed eating,as their second course was laid,and she said - " but on a serious note, I thought about it, we cannot go the traditional route,without spilling some blood,so i guess, we would have to do it secretly...dont you think so too?"
Asad immeditaely caught her hand across,as he said - " Yeah,thats the only way out, i guess so too,Im so sorry , Zoya, i know, you are risking everything here,for me..."
Zoya intertwined er fingers into his as she said - " not for you, for US...maybe our families will be in a situation to accept it, with time, but that time ,isnt anytime soon...and i know that..."
Asad nodded - " yes,but im sure, my mother will be more than happy,and khushi already loves you to bits,so technically, you will be more than welcome at the Khan Mansion..i hope that makes you feel better..."
Zoya smiled - " yeah it does...so what are we going to do now? what have you thought?"
Asad explained his thought - " so i was thinking, we are going back to delhi tomorrow, i need a day to get the court formalities...then maybe wednesday,we meet in the court, ill arrange two witnesses,and..."
Zoya smiled - " and well be married, a secret court marriage,you know it is exciting..."
Asad - " thank you, Zoya..."
He saw her forehead line up,and he said instantly - " say it..."
Zoya looked at him - "say what?"
"your forehead lines up, overtime you want to say something but are in two minds about it, cmon go ahead,you have made me the happiest man on this planet today,id do anything for you, you know that...", he finished.
Zoya took a deep breath - " Look, i love you,and I really want to get married as soon as possible, but I just want you to promise me one thing..."
Asad - " anything, just say it..."
Zoya - " I love my family too, and i do not wish to give them a heart attack, so I just want us to still keep our marriage a secret, until I feel the time is right to reveal about it to my family,like no one apart from me and you...and probably Khushi , just no one can know, i wish to continue to stay in Shantivan, until..."
Asad smiled - " until the time you are ready to reveal about us,I understand, I am ok with it..."
Zoya - " you are...??"
Asad - " I knew that was coming,Zoya, i know you way too well,however, i would just like to make one change, if no one from your family is going to know, its only fair if no one from my family knows,not even Khushi, as much as I know we both are going to hate it,keeping a secret from her,but this one,is just for us to guard, for now..."
Zoya nodded - " yeah id hate it too, iv never kept a secret from Khushi,but i know she will be so happy whenever she finds out..."
Asad smiled - " yeah, she will understand and be the first one to jump on our side,but, i want to be fair to you...if you ready to risk it all for me,the least i can do is, keep my part of the deal, I promise, to not say a word to anyone, about any of this until you want me too...."
Zoya kissed his hand as she said - " thank you, for understanding Asad..."
Asad caressed her hand,and his eyes went on the ring,and he asked her to get up,and walk beside him,as he led her to a spot, right under the moonlight as he said - " although as much as id like you to never take that ring off, your finger, I know with our promise to keep it a secret, you would have too..."
Zoya looked at the ring on her hand as she said - " yeah, id hate to take it off too..."
Asad - " but just coz you cant have it on your finger, doesn't mean, its not going to be with you..."
Zoya looked at him confused,and she just watched in silence,as he took a platinum chain out of his pocket and took the ring off her hand,and put it like a pendant in the chain,and held it front of her,and he asked - " May, I...??"
Zoya understood,and she happily nodded,and turned to him,putting her hair on one side,as she felt him, tie the chain around her neck,and she felt him kiss her tenderly on the spot.
He turned her around and kept her forehead on hers as he whispered - " I love you, Zoya..."
Zoya cupped his face tenderly as she leaned in to receive his kiss,and she whispered against his lips - " And I love you..."
Asad kissed her mindlessly and then a few heated minutes later he immediately picked her up in his arms as he said - " I hope, you ate properly Zoya, for you are going to need all your energy,for I dont plan to let you have any sleep whatsoever...."
Zoya grinned as she brushed her hand in his hair tenderly - " who wants to sleep anyway?and guess what, I dont plan to let you have any too..."
Asad grinned as he walked with her in his arms to his room,tomorrow,they would have to go back to being strangers,tonight was all he had,he wanted to make love to her all night and he knew he would, for he had to store in memories to last him a long long time.
........................
6.00 AM
Zoya got up,and walked to the washroom,every freaking bone in her body was aching,but she didn't mind.She felt a blush creep up her cheek,as she recalled the events,from last night their crazy heated,raw passionate love for each other,had driven them insane with want.They had made love, again and again till wee hours of the morning,because they both knew that tonight was all they had, had until a long long time.She smiled,as she walked back after freshning up,and just lied down next to the man she loved,and looked at him sleep, in a peaceful slumber,there was look of contentment on his face,and she fought the urge to kiss him.For some time, she just wanted to look at him, and store these moments in her mind.She loved him so much, that it consumed her being, she never knew she could love someone as much she loved him, she had risked everything,in the past,and now, she was going a step further, she was going to marry him secretly,as much as she loved her family,and she knew she would be hurting her brother beyond repair if he were to ever find out, before things improved between their families,but in her heart, for her love for him, it still felt so right.They belonged together,she was his already, just like he was her's.She looked at him, and she wished the time to just stop right there, she really wished to take him to somewhere,in the world where it would be just him and her and their love, without the shadows of the ugly past,the fear,and the hatred.But she knew she couldn't,there was a big bad world of reality they both had to return to, in a few hours,she snuggled into him,to feel his warmth next to her,and he sleepily hugged her,and she felt his heartbeats calm hers,and she felt so overwhelmed with all the love she felt for this man,who was soon going to be her husband.She smiled,her entire existence was now all about him, because she would be nothing,without Asad Ahemed Khan in her life.
....
11.00 AM
Asad watched Zoya as she walked to other security check in line,and she have him a small smile,and he smiled back,as he headed to the other line.So they were now officially back to formal mode,until they reached Delhi, where they would officially go back to Stranger Mode.He smiled,to himself,he had so much to do today,he had to get all the arrangements done,in two days,Zoya, would be Mrs Asad Ahemed Khan.Mrs Khan,he already was loving the sound of that , in his head.
He was still in thought, when he saw Zoya walk upto him,as he picked up his bag from the security belt ,and she asked - " whats the smile about?"
Asad picked up his bag,and as much as he wanted to touch her, hold her hand, he knew he couldn't so he just said, walking next to her towards the lounge - " you know,the sound of Mrs.Khan does that to me ,brings this smile on my face..."
Zoya grinned - " yeah,me too...and oh i am so so hungry...lets eat already, we really had to hurry to get here in time..."
Asad - "sorry,about all the rush..."
Zoya - " oh please, you do know, it was like the best two days of my life,minus our fighting in the middle part..."
Asad smiled - "well, i have the same feeling..."
They quickly picked up something to eat from the buffet,and he said, sitting down opposite to her - " so, sometimes i really do wonder how do we manage to flip to all these different modes.."
Zoya took a bite of her sandwich,as she said - " seriosuly, i wonder that too,a lot of times, but hey have you heard from Khushi??"
Asad - " actually, i didn't...did you talk to her??"
Zoya immediately felt like an idiot,she hadn't checked on Khushi all day yesterday,and she just hoped that her brother hadn't done anything stupid,and that Khushi was fine.She checked her watch a she said - " its early in London,shed probably be asleep now, will talk to her,as we reach Delhi..."
Asad nodded - " yeah, ok, but is everything ok? you look somewhat worried...?"
Zoya smiled - " no no, nothing like that,ill miss you thats all..."
Asad smiled - " yeah me too,but glad we do have seats next to each other,good for me, your brother left in between,on that note, when does he return from London?"
Zoya - " Maybe a week or so, I dont know..."
Asad - "ok, so just out of curiosity, you know like I came to visit Khushi while she was there,didnt he come to visit you?? I mean, does he know that you are best friends with Khushi?
Zoya looked at him nervously, ok so she didn't know how to answer that,but she said carefully - " yeah, he did come to visit me a couple of times..."
Asad - " he did?"
Zoya - " yeah,but he only met Khushi a couple of times here and there, for he was there for really short visits,but I didn't tell him, who she really was,until about when i returned back home for good..."
Asad - " oh, so he does know that you are best friends,with Khushi? what was his reaction...?"
Zoya felt her insides churn,why did Asad have to bring up this topic,she didn't want to lie to him, but she didn't have any other option - "well he was a little furious,but i told him,he doesn't get to choose who I can be friends with and with whom I cannot be, and i did remind him,that Khushi and me were very close, until,and then we found each other,and we needed each other in London, we were both away from families,so..."
Asad asked curious - " he bought that? i thought hed bring the hell down knowing of any of your associations with us,strange, but I guess, i dont know him anymore, so.."
Zoya - " hes ok with that,me being friends with Khushi, but..."
Asad rolled his eyes - " my baby sister gets the benefit of doubt,but I know I won't...",and then he just wanted to know so he asked further - " so he has met Khushi a couple of times, like you said, I hope they havent had any conversations or anything,im sorry to say so Zoya,but i dont say this just because he's my enemy, I really dont want your brother, to ever be in an arms distance of Khushi, let alone be talking to her...its also because I know him,hes always been a player,and you know Khushi,shes naive and so so innocent...so tell me did they ever have any sort of conversations?"
Zoya's inside wrenched, what could she say? Could she just tell him that ,Khushi and her brother had more than just many conversations,that his baby sister used to be in love with him.She knew , she couldn't and so she covered up as she said - " no, i dont think they ever talked...."
Asad said relieved - " thats really good....thank God Zoya, you have no idea, how that had me worried..."
Zoya gave him a small smile as she said - " yeah you have nothing to worry...",and she was glad that right then the boarding was announced,and they walked towards their flight.
.....................
2 PM
Zoya got her baggage from the belt and she watched Asad on the other side as he waited for his.The Stranger mode was back on,and she quickly texted him, walking on her way out -
"leaving now, Asad, my driver is here, apparently some urgent meeting,have to be at work in 30 minutes...speak to you later,bye for now, thank you for the best weekend ever...",and she got out the terminal,and went to sit in her car,and right then her phone beeped - " I miss you already,and its ok, i gotta be at work too,later my love..."
Zoya took a deep breath as she leaned her head back on the rest,she was tired from lack of sleep,and she had some 30 minutes to catch a nap,but she looked at her watch,it would be around 830 am in London,and Khushi hadn't called her yet ,despite her message.So she decided to nap later,and called her, she was worried,and she heard her pick up after a few rings,and she said instantly -
"Khushi, Im so sorry,are you ok? is everything ok? i mean...and why didn't you call me yet, i messaged you ..."
She got a quick reply - " Zoya, im fine, trust me, just got out the shower, was thinking of calling you, but you did...all ok, why are you so worried..."
Zoya sighed and she whispered slowly so that her driver couldn't hear - " because of my brother..."
"Oh yeah, he is now living in the apartment across, he came in yesterday...'
Zoya was now shocked as she said - " what???????????????? you'v gotta be freaking kidding me? what does he want?? did you guys talk???"
She heard Khushi sigh on the other end as she said - " yeah sort off,Zoya he wants a chance to make everything ok...as in he said he still feels the same..."
Zoya asked cautiously - " and what did you say??khushi,do you think..you can forgive him??"
"Maybe i have forgiven him already Zoya, but no i cant give him another chance, i just dont have it in me anymore, and i definitely do not have the strength to trust him again,and moreover, i dont feel the same way anymore...and i told him that very clearly",said Khushi
"what, you did??"
"yeah, im tired of playing games, it was time we were both honest with each other, and with all this history, i think we owed ourselves that,anyway you dont worry ok...?iv handled it..."
Zoya sighed - "ok, if you say so, and guess what, today Asad questioned me for the first time, if you ever met my brother??"
"what??? how come?? what happened?? what did you say??",asked Khushi.
Zoya quickly filled Khushi in about it all,and then she said - " i didn't want to lie to him,Khushi...but i couldn't tell him either,its not for me to say"
"Its ok Zoya, you did the right thing,because there is nothing to tell anyway, its over, for good,and theres no point talking about it anyway,its just better that bhaijaan should never know..."
Zoya - "if thats what you want, Khushi...but are you happy khushi? with all of this??"
"ofcourse Zoya, ok now i gotta go, gotta meet Arhaan...bye...ill call you later..."
Zoya kept the phone,and she took a deep breath,and she realised that amongst this complicated scenario,she really was keeping secrets from three most important people in her life.
She was hiding about,herself and Asad from her brother.
She was hiding about her brother and Khushi, from Asad
And lastly
She was keeping a secret about her marriage, from Khushi.
She really wished, that it could just be all out in the open,only if it were that easy,things were really so complex,and why just why did they have to be? She wished for some magic wand, that she could just swish,and make it all ok, but there was no magic and from where she could see right now that road of transparency ,was really very distant.
She composed her thoughts and took a deep breathe,she had a very important call to make.
........
Monday morning - 845 am - London
Arnav straigtened his tie,and then picked up his coat,and walked out into the small kitchenette,and started to make himself coffee.He had used the rest of the day, yesterday for himself, thinking,about his feelings , his emotions, his love for Khushi,that he had only just realised.And then he had also gone out,and stocked up his kitchen,because for obvious reasons he couldn't live without food, for the next ten days. He quickly fixed himself a sandwich,and sat down to ate it.
He hadn't seen Khushi since after their conversation yesterday,for he had so so much to think about what he could do to win her back.He felt his thoughts wonder, to the past, he had been so so stupid,to see that even though the world was moving next to him, he had felt so lonely, without Khushi,and it was only her memories, that would come to his rescue,at the end of the day.It was a little strange,his situation, even though his heart had been filled with Khushi's memories,he had only realised now about his love, but he didn't know whether to be happy or sad,he was happy because he realised he loved her, but sad, because he felt like he had lost her,that she was so so distant,she said,she had moved on,met someone else, that she really liked,but he had been stuck,in the same time and place,because he hadn't known that the roots of her love were so deep inside of him, until he had felt the ground shake beneath under him,at the thought of loosing her,and now it just felt like as if everything had been scattered,as if that string that attached them,had broken down into a thousand pieces,and he had only himself to blame.She had found a way to move on ,and have a place for someone else,new people, new things, but he couldn't,he knew he couldnt, because everything that was, and its memories were as fresh in his eyes,as if it were just yesterday,and thats why he knew, he couldn't give up,he wouldn't let her go, just like that.She was his,and now he just had to make her see that.
He finished his meal,and got up to leave back for work,and right then his phone rang,and he saw Zoya's and flashing on the screen and he picked it up in an instant and he asked - "Zoya, have you reached Delhi?"
He heard his sisters angry voice as she spat - " what the freaking hell is wrong with you Bhai??"
He was taken off guard as he said - " excuse me?? whats wrong with me??"
He got an urgent reply - " Just what the hell are you thinking, going back to living across Khushi, why??? Look she's moved on, just let her be na, just let it go..."
He sighed,as he sat back in the chair and he said it out loud - " I can't Zoya, I can't let go of the only one I have ever loved..."
There was a stunned silence,he knew he had dropped a bomb on his sister,and he asked - " Zoya, you there??"
"yeah, what did you just say?? the only one you have ever loved??bhai you love Khushi....?? are you like seriously, in love with Khushi???"
He sighed - " yeah,and i know its stupid and crazy, but i only realised it after she told me that me and her are over for good,its so strange, because i dont know whether i should be happy that i have actually fallen in love with someone for the first time in my life, or be sad, because i have lost her, by being such a beast..."
He heard Zoya's concerned voice as she said - " oh Bhai, this is such a mess..I spoke to Khushi, she is no mood to give this a second shot,and then there is Arhaan....you ok?what are you going to do now? "
Arnav - "yeah, i am ok, and as much as it hurts to see that man around her..."
"yeah, and imagine you shoved Lavanya right in her face...", replied his sister.
"yeah, i know what I did, Zoya, wont help reminding me, makes me feel worse, but just so you know, i ended things with Lavanya, before i spoke to Khushi..."
"You did? what was her reaction?"
Arnav sighed -" well, she doesn't care..."
he heard his sister sigh - " Now what??"
Arnav - " look dont tell her anything,ok, but im not just going to sit back and watch,im going to win her back,make her fall in love with me again...shes mine, i just need to remind her that..."
"so you aren't going to give up??"
Arnav - " I have fallen in love,for the first time in my entire life, i am so not going to let it go,when did you see a Raizada ever give up??"
He thought he almost heard a smile in her voice as she said - ' oh yes, we dont, we have a stubborn streak in every cell of our body,but good luck, bhai, its not going to be easy,and i will call you later, reached work...bye..."
Arnav sighed - " yeah, thanks, for I'm going to need truck loads of luck..", and he hung up,and then made his way out the door,and it was right then he spotted Khushi step out her front door,and he felt his heart stop.
He had laughed at this earlier, but now that he was in it, there really was something about this moment, when you first lay the eyes on the one you love, after you have just realised that you are in love.He was feeling so so drawn to her,more than what he had ever felt before,and he knew that the realisation that he loved her, had everything to do with it,for a second he just wanted to say it to her straight away,but he knew he couldnt,the situation wasn't in his favour.
He watched her give him a look,and she walked to the elevator and he took a deep breathe,and stood next to her as he asked -" tum theek ho?"
Khushi looked at him with confusion,but she nodded as she said stepping into the elevator - "yeah, im ok..."
He stepped in ,and he watched the doors close,and he then he said - " look, you were right, whatever has happened is all in the past, but for now,in the present, the least we can do is, be courteous to each other,you know For Zoya??"
Khushi looked at him,with narrowed eyes, but she realised he meant it and she heard him say - "look you are her best friend, and..."
Khushi nodded - "and you are her brother...", she said in a tone that would make him see, that to her he was only that,now.
Arnav nodded - " exactly, and i think Zoya has already been feeling torn in between because of this situation..."
Khushi knew he was making an excellent point,because she knew Zoya had been in a very conflicting position,for a long time now and for her she could do that and so she said - " yeah ok...i guess you are right, for Zoya..."
Arnav smiled - "Yup, For Zoya..."and right then he watched her step out,and he followed as they got out on the road,and he asked,as she stated to walk - " we need to be at AR,was just taking the cab, you wana join?"
Khushi gave him a small smile - " no, thanks, I'm on my way to see Arhaan, we go to work together,and don't worry i will be on time...", and then she turned and started walking.
Arnav watched her walk away from him, and he felt his guts wrench,he hated the sight of it, just how much had he hurt her.He sat in the cab and he quickly texted his sister -
"I used, 'I am your brother' card , to atlas get her to start talking to me"
He got a quick reply - " And did It work??"
Arnav - " yeah, i guess so..."
he got a quick reply and he smiled,as he read it, Zoya always had an answer - "you know after all that has happened, i did think a couple of times about how could you be so bluntly dumb towards your emotions,but good, you do have my Smart Raizada gene after all...."
.................
Destiny smiled - "looks like someone's smart gene has finally resurfaced..."
Love grinned - " and believe me, i couldn't be happier about it..."
Fate grinned - " and not just The Raizada gene, Khan has got his clever gene in activation mode too, he's working on it at the speed of light"
Destiny winked - " oh for sure, he cant wait to make her, his wife...its just how its meant to be.."
Love smiled - " its just always is like that..."
Fate nodded - " always, just how its meant to be..."