▲▽Thomas Jefferson's P.O.V.▼△
★Modern AU★
★・・・・・・★ ・・・・・・★
After grabbing my sneakers from the car and placing them on my feet, I was ready to go hiking. I waited for the rest of the crew and decided to use my portable charger to charge my phone. So I grabbed my charger and brought it to my tent, crawling inside.
"Hey Thomas," a quiet voice was heard as I crawled to my phone. I looked at Alex to see he was on his phone, reading some book or something.
"What're you doing? Aren't we going for a hike?" I asked, looking at the small man who held his phone tightly.
"I'm not really the 'walking in the woods' type of person," he told me, smiling nervously.
"You should come. It'll be fun," I reply, looking at him with a smile.
He thought for a moment before placing his phone down, grabbing his sneakers. "If I get tired, you're giving me a piggyback ride back to camp."
"Deal," I tell him and crawl back out, not getting any dirt in the tent. Alexander stepped out and zipped the tent up as the others came out as well.
"Where to, Herc?" Alex asked Hercules, who shrugged.
"I haven't been camping in years, so I'm not sure," Hercules explains, looking between us all.
"Well I say we all go separate ways and if you find something cool, then call to us," Eliza suggests. Everyone murmured agreements and assigned partners.
The three sisters go together, Hercules and Lafayette, John and Alex, James and me. I wanted to go with Alex, but said nothing to do what I wanted. Then we all headed in separate directions with our partners.
"So Thomas," Jemmy started up a conversation as we separated. "I noticed you were looking at Alexander a certain way, like you wanted to go with him."
My cheeks heated up and I looked at the ground ahead of me. "I, uh, just thought that, um, maybe we could try and get along?" I say as if it's a question, not really sure where I'm going with this anymore.
"Mhm," James hums, now looking away from me. Then a whistle was heard, from one of the sisters. It came in that direction at least. "Looks like we found what we wanted."
I followed James silently, thinking about what he said. Maybe I did want to go with Alexander. I really shouldn't say maybe, I really wanted to go with Alex.
"What's this?" I heard John call to the sisters as we got to where they stood.
"It's a pond," Peggy points out the obvious, laughing at John.
"It's the pond I used to swim in with my family," Herc says with a smirk, taking off his shirt.
"Hercules, we did not bring bathing suits!" Lafayette called out, trying to cover his boyfriend back up.
"Neither did my family," He says and takes off his shoes and pants, jumping in with only underwear on.
Lafayette's face darkens in color, watching Hercules swim around. I went over and nudged Lafayette, making him turn even darker in color. "Shut up, mon cousin."
Alexander did the same as Hercules and jumped right in. I watched with admiration, looking at Alexander's body like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. "Come on, ladies. I think we can go get out swimsuits from the car," Angelica says to her sisters, walking away.
James looked at the water, unsure, as John already stripped down and jumped in. I sighed and slowly undressed myself, not sure if I wanted to show off myself today. But I ended up doing just that as all the men stared at my body. I slid in and looked at Alex, who was staring at me with a bright blush on his face.
Lafayette looked at me, smirking. "Tu aimes te montrer, n'est-ce pas mon cousin?" (You like to show off, don't you my cousin?).
I look away with a bright blush, looking at the water before pushing to the middle of the pond, swimming around with a smile. I actually really liked to swim.
James rolled up his pants and dipped his feet and a bit of his legs in the water, watching us all. Lafayette just watched, not wanting to get wet.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
We soon returned to the campsite when we were hungry and cold from the pond. The sisters already went to their tent and changed. Alexander and I had the same idea as the sisters when we crawled into our tent and changed.
"Hey, Thomas?" He called from behind me as I slipped on a random shirt I found in my bag.
"Hm?" I hum, not turning around incase Hamilton wanted privacy.
"Can I borrow that sweatshirt again?" The male replied, which I gave to him instantly. I wanted the sweatshirt to smell of him again. "Thank you," He mumbles and slips it on.
I placed on thicker shoes to keep my feet warm as I stepped out into the sunny day. The sun didn't help the temperature, as the wind still froze us all after we swam. It was a good temperature to jump into a pond, but not warm enough to get out and not want a warm blanket.
Alexander stepped out with my sweatshirt on as James stepped out of his own tent. When he saw the sweatshirt on Alex, he gave me a questionable glance, sitting down on the same log I sat on.
"Alex got cold," I murmured to the short Virginian. Without a reply, James watched as Lafayette started the fire, letting Hercules teach him how to start one with a stone and something metal. It was easier said than done, but after a few minutes, Lafayette got it started. He celebrated by dancing a bit before placing more dry wood into the fire to keep it burning.
I stuck my feet and hands closer to the fire, looking at the fire as it danced around with its flames. I felt a stare but ignored it, letting the fire take my full focus. Then I noticed Hercules asking if anyone wanted a sandwich, which everyone replied yes but me. No one noticed, except for Lafayette and James, and maybe Alex but he didn't seem to notice when I looked in his direction.
Hercules made PB and J sandwiches and handed one to each of us. With a lot of begging from James, I finished three quarters of the sandwich before handing it off to him. He looked at it with a bit of satisfaction, but not enough to make him smile. He finished it off easily and rubbed gentle circles on my back, trying to sooth me. He knew about how I didn't want to eat, it was something my father did to me. Long story, but the shortest answer is: my father wasn't a good person.
James helped me through everything, though. He was always there and would let me stay at his home with his parents when my father hurt me in more ways than one. Then the homophobic slurs would always get me, but I tried my best to stay strong. I'm glad my father left after taking about a quarter of what he had before for our money.
"Hey, do you want to walk around a bit?" James asked me quietly, letting everyone else speak to each other, not paying attention to anyone else but their conversation.
"I guess," I mumbled, standing up and stretching a bit.
"We'll be back. Just want to adventure a bit," James tells everyone as they looked at where we stood. Without a word to us, we left and headed into the woods. "Are you feeling okay? You usually eat a lot more than this," he asks when we were a good distance from the group.
I sighed, rubbing my temples as I had to stop walking. "I'm sorry, it's just-" I pause and stare at the ground. "-this brings back memories."
"I thought you never went camping, Thom'," James remembered, stepping closer to me for comfort.
"I lied," I said without a single thought. "I didn't want to bring back all these memories, that's why."
James touched my arm in a friendly manor. "Why didn't you tell me? We could've just skipped this whole trip completely."
I want to scrunch up into a ball and cry, but I stayed still. "I wanted to get over this stupid fear. He no longer lives in my life, yet I'm so scared of his return, or his memories."
I felt James' grip on my arm tighten, but stayed where he was. "That's okay, Thomas. It's okay to be scared, he was a horrible person," he tells me.
"I shouldn't be scared anymore, Jemmy. It was years ago," I said with frustration.
"Yes but it's okay to be scared. He did horrible things to you."
"It wasn't that horrible," I murmured.
"It wasn't?" James' eyebrow rose. "He trapped you in a cellar for a few days because he thought you weren't 'skinny enough'. He would only let you eat so much food before cutting you off completely. He-"
"I get it, Jem," I mumbled for him to stop, feeling my eyes water as I searched the ground for a distraction.
James took a deep breath and hugged me tightly. He pushed my head down to his shoulder as my arms fell limply at my side. "Thomas, I'm sorry," he murmured. And that's what broke me. I started sobbing quietly, letting the tears run down my face as he held me tighter. "It's okay, Thomas. Just let it all out."
I heard footsteps come closer but that didn't stop the sobs that escaped my lips. "Thomas?" A voice was heard behind me.
"Alexander, leave him be," Jemmy warned the small male that stood behind me.
"What's wrong?" Oh god, those words always bothered me.
"Alexander, I said leave him be," James warned again, a little more forceful this time.
I suddenly got my head off of his shoulder, wiping my tears away as I looked at James. "It's okay, James. I'll be okay," I told him through whispers.
"But-,"
"Just go back, James. I'll be back in a few minutes," I interrupted, looking at him with pleading eyes. With a quick nod, he scurried past me and back towards camp. I didn't turn around. "Alex," I mumbled, letting the wind take my voice away.
"Thomas, who was 'he'?" Alexander asked innocently.
The breath caught my throat. He'd been listening to my conversation. "That was a Private conversation, Alexander," I told him, still not able to turn to face him.
"It would've came out later anyway. Who was he?" He pushed on, stepping closer to me.
"Alexander, just go back to camp and forget this whole-,"
"Who is he?" Alex pushed further, stepping closer once more.
"Alex,"
"Who is he?"
"Alexander,"
"Thomas, tell me,"
"God damn it, Alex!" I finally turned to him, tears running down my face. "It my father, okay? He did that all to me."
He stood there, speechless, for once. "He-He trapped you in a cellar? And didn't let you eat? Why?" He recalled, asking with a shocked expression.
"I came out of the closet before the beginning of senior year in high school," he explained. "That's why I was so mean to you. My father said it's bad to be gay, it's a sin and I should be punished for it."
Alexander was as close as he could get without touching me. "Thomas," he looked at me with those bright brown eyes of his. I felt like melting right there. "I'm sorry."
I looked at him, my knees giving out from under my and I fell to the ground weakly. Alexander caught my head as he ended up falling to his knees. I laid on the ground as he held my head in his lap. "Thomas, it's okay."
I sobbed and curled up, letting him hold my head. He moved me so I was leaning against his chest, letting my head rest on his shoulder. I wanted to apologize but made no effort to do so.
Slowly, I stopped crying. "Thomas?" He mumbles. I made no response. "Can you get up?" I shook my head no. "We need to go back to camp now."
I looked at him, my eyes probably red and puffy from crying so much. His brown eyes showed worry, looking back at me. He held my gaze as he sat me up. "Can I go get James? I don't think I can pick you up."
I nod and let him get up. "I'll be back, Thomas. Don't worry," and with those last words, he ran back to camp. A few minutes later, James and Alex not only came by themselves, but Hercules and Laf as well.
"Did you have to bring these two?" I asked quietly to Alex who slid down next to me.
"James couldn't pick you up and Lafayette is here for support," Alex replied.
"Mon cousin, are you alright?" Lafayette went down to my level and checked for any bruises or scratches.
I sniffled and looked at him. "I'm alright, no need for worry," I told him quietly.
"Hercules, can you pick him up? He needs to get some sleep," James asked as he looked at me, his eyes filled with worry.
Hercules easily picked me up, even if I was just a bit taller than him. Maybe it was because Lafayette was taller than me just by a bit and Hercules probably picked up the Frenchman a few times.
"What happened?" I heard Lafayette ask either the Virginian or the Caribbean man.
"It's a long story," both said at the same time, which made them giggle behind me.
We got back to camp and I jumped down from Hercules arms, surprising everyone. I wanted to fall onto the ground again because of how weak I was, but I stayed upright. Alexander and James instantly ran over and helped support my weight. I was never going to hear the end of this from anyone.
Everyone stared as the two men helped me to my tent, letting me crawl inside. "Yo, what's happening?" I heard John call out, which made me sigh. I knew they would be curious, but I did notice Alexander and James were about ready to kill any of them.
"It's alright, mes amies. Let's let them be," Lafayette called to the group who then was no longer silent. I knew they wanted to know what happened with me. I just knew they didn't care, they were just curious.
"Hey, it's alright," a small whisper was heard from James.
"Go tell them," I mumbled, curling up on the makeshift bed.
"What?"
"Just go tell them everything. It's not like I can keep it forever," I replied with a sigh, closing my eyes. Shuffling was heard and soon one of the two men left.
"Thomas?"
"Yes Alex?" I reply.
"Am I allowed to hug you?"
I nodded without looking. I felt small arms take me in. I turned around and looked at Alex who was sitting up. I sat up a bit as well and looked at the male who sat in front of me. I sat down and Alex crawled onto my lap, taking my jaw into his small hands. He looked at me, his eyes full of worry.
I then closed the small gap between us and let him kiss me as I kissed him. I kept ya balanced by my hands being behind me, but I wanted to run my fingers through his hair badly. He put his body against mine as he pulled me closer. Then we separated, looking at each other with no other emotion except love.
"You should do that more often," I mumbled as he looked into my eyes. I heard a laugh come from him and I laughed along. This was definitely an interesting day.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
It was dinner time and Alexander and I have been in the tent the whole entire day. I kept him close as he kept kissing me all over my face and head. He kept comforting me whenever I started to cry over small things. He was there and that was the most important thing.
"Thomas?" Another voice was heard. "It's dinner time and the pizza we ordered is here."
I didn't reply, I just curled up against Alexander's chest. "We'll be out in a few minutes, James," Alex responded for me. Without a reply, I heard James walk away.
"I don't want to eat," I said quietly to Alexander.
Alexander put his fingers under my chin and made me look at him. "Thomas, you have to eat."
I look away from him and try to move my head away. "I'm not hungry."
"Thomas," Alex's voice made me look at him. His eyes were fully focused on me. He was worried. "I'm going to go out there, I want you to follow, okay?"
I didn't reply as he separated from me, letting me choose whether or not I would follow. He crawled out of the tent and I followed quickly, not wanting to be alone. Once we were out, he zipped up the tent and started walking towards the group. I grabbed his hand tightly and he squeezed mine, letting me know I wasn't alone.
The talking ceased as we walked over, hand in hand. I kept my head down as Alexander let me sit on a log. He left me for a second and came back with a plate of two slices of pizza. He took one and handed the plate to me. The silence killed me as I took the plate, looking at the pizza with no expression. Alex let go of my hand and slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me against his side. "So how is your sister, Hercules?" He started a conversation to make the attention get off of me.
I silently thanked him as the talking started up again. I took the slice in one hand and ate slowly, my mind telling me it's okay to eat. Everyone needs to eat.
I finished off my slice and I looked at James who was smiling at me. "Can I get another piece?" I mumbled to him, moving my plate towards him. James handed me another slice and everything seemed to be brighter in the world.
Everyone was happier somehow. James seemed to smile more. Alexander's grip seemed to tighten with joy. And I finally ate more than I ever did. This had to be one of the greatest trips of my life.
★・・・・・・★ ・・・・・・★
Word Count: 3114
Published: 3-10-18