A/N: So, Wattpad has been acting like a brat the last two days. I'm having trouble updating and I don't think the notifications are working. I hope everyone is getting to read these chapters in a timely manner.
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FLASHBACK – BEAM'S POV
"So, what are your thoughts on Forth so far, Ai'Beam?"
"Geez, Ai'Kit! Stop asking. It's only been two weeks, and you've been hounding me about it every day. I told you, I'll deal with it in my own time."
"Yes, but you said you've been talking to him every night, right?" Kit ask, pestering me with his questions.
"He seems fine." Actually, I've grown to like Forth, but I'm not ready to tell Kit that. Changing the subject, I ask, "What about your wolf? Have you made a decision?"
"No. Ming seems like a really decent guy, but I haven't had much time to spend with him since the competition has thrown off his schedule. I only saw him twice last week for breakfast. I'm going to take my time and try and make the best choice possible."
"Can't you do anything spontaneous, Ai'Slowpoke?"
"Not when it involves the rest of my life."
Hmm, "Don't you mean the rest of his life?" Kit turns his head away at my inquiry, and I sit up straight and lean forward, "Ai'Kit, don't tell me you're thinking of Soul Bonding that wolf."
"No." He looks over at me then away again, "Not right now. I haven't even decided about the mating yet. But it'll be something I consider if everything works out."
I sit back in my chair dumbfounded by his words. It's one thing to be tied down for a couple hundred years, but for the rest of my life? Possibly a thousand years. To the same person? I seldom spend more than a couple nights with the same person, before I move on.
I realize I spoke out loud when he answers, "Trust me I know. I've watched you do it for decades now. But someone could change that one day and if it's the right person, then it's worth it."
"How do you know when it's the right person?" I question him.
"You'll just know. Your heart and body will tell you. It's not a conscious choice you can make, you'll just feel it. It'll be different from the way you've felt with anyone before." Kit says dreamily.
"Shit, Ai'Kit, you almost had me until you started spouting that sappy nonsense." I tell him hiding my interest in his words with my sarcasm.
"You'll see. One day it will happen to you. Maybe sooner than you think. And I will laugh my ass off because you're an idiot."
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As I'm standing in my dorm room cooking dinner for my date with Forth tonight. I let my mind roam over what Kit and I talked about earlier today and what I've learned about Forth so far.
Since that disaster of a first date, I had spent the last two weeks getting to know Forth. Every night I went to his room and we spent time talking about anything and everything. Our lives. School. Work. Friends. Nothing seemed to be off limits.
Kit said I'd be different with the right person, well I was definitely different with him. I didn't talk to people, but I talked to Forth. I didn't make an effort to get to know people, but I was doing just that with him. Normally, I slept with people and sent them on their way, but I couldn't even think of doing that to Forth. The sending him on his way part at least. I considered fucking him every time I saw him.
The more we talked, the more I learned about him. The more I learned, the more I liked him. I'm a big boy. I can admit I'm drawn to Forth. Well, I can admit it to myself at least.
Forth was funny, charming, and thoughtful. His friends and family were vitally important to him and he could be extremely serious when it came to any of theirs' happiness and wellbeing. There were many other things I learned too, but to sum it up, Forth was a good man. He'd make someone a really good partner. I'm just not sure that someone should be me.
The main problem keeping me from mating with Forth wasn't him, it was me. I like my life the way it is. Uncomplicated. Free. Easy. Those were not things my life would be in the future if I was with Forth, and that was the main hurdle I kept stumbling over.
I needed to decide one of two things. First: do I like my life the way it currently is enough to reject Forth, or second, am I willing to give up the way I currently live my life to keep Forth.
Tonight, I would use our date to help myself get closer to making that decision. Instead of holding back around Forth, I think I should try not to restrain my actions and I see where my feelings lead me.
The knock on my door pulls me away from my thoughts, and I move away from the stove to answer it. Taking a deep breath before I open the door, I recognize Forth's delicious scent.
"Good, you're here on time." I say after opening the door and looking him over.
"I thought we were going out?" He asks as he surveys me.
"We were. I changed it. We're staying in now. I cooked dinner." I give him a smile as I invite him in.
I can tell he's irritated, but he'll get over it. It's not like I completely vetoed our date, I just made different plans for us. Besides, you'd think he'd be happy to get the chance to explore my place. We're always at his, so he's never seen mine.
He sniffs the air, taking in the aroma of the food I made, then looks me over again. "Alright," he agrees.
I give him another smile as he enters my room and kicks off his shoes. Shutting the door, I lock it, then turn to face him as I lean my back against it. Examining him thoroughly as I move towards him, words slip out of my mouth without thought. "You look good tonight, Forth. Good enough to eat."
He looks at me a little shocked as I step up to him and bury my nose into his chest inhaling deeply. His scent is masculine and woodsy, and I love breathing it in. I always thought wolves reeked before. I couldn't stand being around them for too long, but Forth's scent is different, it's enticing.
I can feel his movements as his arms slowly raise from his sides and wrap around me. He buries his face into my hair inhaling deeply also. "You smell amazing too. Sweet, but with a bit of spice. I could breathe in your scent forever, and never get tired of it... mate."
And those two words make me pause as I mull them over. Forever and Mate. I'm not sure those are things I want yet. I push out of his hold and head back to the stove to finish getting things ready. I'm really just warming everything up at this point, since I prepared everything earlier.
"Can I help with anything?" he asks.
"Sure. Can you grab us a couple drinks? Then, just take a seat at the table. Everything's ready."
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Dinner went really well. The food I made was wonderful, as expected from my cooking, and Forth was charming, as usual.
"I thought we might watch a movie after dinner." I say.
"Ok, that sounds good."
"There are a bunch to choose from. Why don't you pick one while I put away dinner?"
"Sure. You don't need any help with this?" Forth asks.
"Nope, I'm good."
When I'm done in the kitchen area, he's already waiting on the couch with the movie queued up to play. Instead of sitting at the opposite end from him, I sit next to him. He stiffens at first, but relaxes after a few moments, then starts the movie.
About 15 minutes after the movie starts, Forth slowly puts his arm around me and instead of moving away I snuggle into his side. I almost laugh when he releases the breath he was holding. I know he was waiting for me to push him away and I normally would, but not tonight. I like feeling the warmth that radiates from him.
Halfway through the movie, we pause it to get up and get some drinks and dessert. As I'm standing in the kitchen Forth walks up behind and slips his arms around my waist, holding me close. Normally I would step away from him and warn him about touching me, but not tonight. I like feeling his arms around me.
After the movie ends, he stands to leave, but I tell him to stay. I give him a shirt to change into for bed, knowing he that he usually sleeps in a t-shirt and his boxers. I change clothes too, even though normally when I stay at his place I stay fully dressed, but not tonight. I like the feeling of excitement that runs through me at the idea of being in bed half-dressed with Forth.
As we're sitting in my bed talking, I decide I want to see what kissing Forth is like. I can't believe it's been two weeks and we haven't even kissed yet. I need to know this information before moving forward with any more decisions, don't I? It's just for informational purposes.
Climbing into his lap, I wrap my arms around his neck and press my lips to his. Normally kissing him would be on the 'Danger Ahead' list for me, but not tonight. I like how his lips feel as they slide against mine.
My mind starts spinning in turmoil, when I consider where this kiss could lead. It's screaming that this is a bad idea, that I should keep my distance if I want to keep my current life. Do I want that? Maybe, I should ignore my thoughts and let my feelings lead me?
My feelings are telling me to stay right where I'm at - in Forth's arms.
FLASHBACK – BEAM'S POV (TO BE CONTINUED)
01.05.2018 8:21 am US CST