Bad Blood // Z.M A.U

"Liam. I know it sounds crazy. It's all that I ever wanted but with the way things are carrying on right now, it makes me feel so unwelcomed." I mutter to him.

The elevator doors open up in the basement and I walk towards my car to grab my pack of cigarettes to relax myself after the unnecessary outburst.

"I mean, right now I am in a restaurant and my best friend's mom and my father are fighting over me because she knew about my relationship with Zayn and did not tell anyone about it. It's so fuckíng frustrating how they have such an issue about it! I have been one fućking day in Miami and this is how welcomed I feel!"

"They just don't understand and what you decided to do for four years, they just don't feel comfortable so there is obviously going to be commotion about it." He explains to me.

"Exactly! It was my decision to leave home to be with Zayn! I know that I shot myself in the foot because of him but that was my own fault. No one else's. The only person who really understands is my mom. Everyone else is not being understanding of my situation. They have a tendency of rubbing it in my fuckíng face!" I exclaim angrily to him.

Opening my car, I reach for the pack of my cigarettes as I sit down in the driver's seat. Lighting the stick that is in between my lips, I deeply inhale to calm myself down after the escapade that happened moments ago.

"Carmelita, just give them a chance. I am sure they are all worked up and worried about you. That's all. Don't go off at them because you know how that's going to turn out." He explains quietly.

"I just wish that they would just become more welcoming and understanding of my situation. I missed them all so much but they really need to just cut some slack for me. Anyway, how are things on your side?" I ask as I flicker the ash onto the ground beneath me.

"Everything is fine. All of us are on a flight out tomorrow, heading back to our home towns." He mutters.

"Are you excited?"

"Yeah. I really am. I just want to go home and just start my life over with my family and friends. I had enough of this place." I hear him sigh heavily.

"You okay? You sound a little down, my friend." I ask him sincerely.

Ever since Sophia left, Liam has not been his true self. I know he is struggling coming to terms with Sophia leaving him for her actual boyfriend, especially when he does still love her.

Knowing Liam as person who I can always turn to when I need someone, he will find someone else to love.

"Just tired. You know how Timothy carries on when he is here." He laughs half-heartedly, trying to hide the truth from me.

I don't want to push him because I don't want to aggravate him. When he is ready he will confide in me.

"That's true. I miss that child so much." I murmur sadly as I watch my dad walk towards my car.

Probably to talk shít about me.

"Liam, I'll call you guys later. I have to go." I tell him just as my father is about to approach me.

"Sure babe. Chat later. Love you girl."

Deliberately, I take one more puff from my cigarette before I throw it on the floor before stepping on it. My dad just looks at me seriously, wanting to tell me off about my smoking but he instead says something else.

"Look, I am know you upset about-"

"Upset? I am píssed off by the way you and Ronaldo are acting about my situation! You are totally blowing things out of proportion!"
"Carmelita." My father warns me but I ignore it as I am ready to put him on his place.

"I am sorry that my life turned out this way. I am sorry I am not this cute and innocent girl you wanted me to be and I am sorry that things are not going planned the way you wanted it be. I know I shot myself in the foot because nothing worked out in the end with someone who I thought loved me. I know this all." I say reassuringly, trying to get my point over to him.

"But this is who I am now. You all need to accept it, whether you like it or not. You need to stop thinking that sixteen year old girl is still there because she is not. She is long gone. She has been irresponsible, drunk, high, and pregnant, killed too many people and been fuçked too many times to be counted. Even though that is not what else everyone likes about me, I am fine with it because it's who I am.

"If you keep holding onto the past, fight with one another about my choices and my secrets I kept away from you, it's only going to make me push you away and make me feel so uncomfortable around the people I love so much. All I am asking is for you to stop making such a big fuss about my past. I am trying to make peace with it and I just wish you can too."

My dad and I are left in silence, probably trying to comprehend everything that I told him. There are a lot of things that I should have not told him but it had to be said one way or another, whether I like it.

Especially the pregnant part.

He takes a deep breath in and looks down at me. "I know. It's just that... Carmelita... I did not want any of this to happen to you. I still remember as the sixteen year old you were to see you all grown up; it's hard to comprehend all of this. I am sorry I am overreacting but it's just I am concerned about you as your parent and to find out all these things like, Renata knowing you had Malik in your life already without any of us knowing, it's just really frustrating and we could have found you a long time ago."

Nodding, I stand up from the seat, closing the door behind me as I take my father's hand. "I just want to tell you that even though I am not fine, I know I will be. The only thing I want from you and Ronaldo is to stop rubbing my mistakes in my face and to stop overreacting about it. That's all I want dad. Nothing else."

My father sighs quietly then nods in response. "Okay. I'll try my best. I am sorry about that outburst at the table. You know me by now mi amor and my reasons."

"It's okay. Let's just go back to the table and forget any of this happened, okay?"

The two of us walk back to the elevator, making our way back upstairs. My father wraps his arm around my shoulder as we walk.

"You know, you are just as strong as your mother. There is so much I see of her in you and I just want to tell you something. Don't ever think sẻx is going to keep a man for you because he can just walk out of your life at any time and find someone else.

"I have a feeling Malik was like that and you see what has happened. I just want you to remember that, okay? Don't sell yourself cheap to make someone else happy and 'yourself' because at the end of the day, it will just cause more problems."

For four years of being surrounded by older women, who knows much more than me, that's one thing they never told me. They are the ones that actually influenced me to have sẻx with Zayn so that our relationship can be more 'stable'

And I believed them. I was the one who was begging Zayn to break my virginity to make sure that he wouldn't find someone else. It somehow helped us but despite giving my virginity to Zayn, It did change him cheating on me behind my back.

But it's a lesson I learnt the hard way and now I know.

"I won't. Not again."

The elevator arrives back at the top floor and both of us get out. The woman at the reception looks at us with confusion but we ignore it as the family is still at the table, talking to one another furiously.

You got to be fuçking kidding me.

"Okay, you guys can all stop it now! This is becoming utterly ridiculous!" My mother shouts as Ronaldo and Renata.

"You heard what she said Ronaldo. Stop your shít right this moment with Renata." My father says as he sits back down next to my mother.

"I don't need your fuckíng help after you insulted me! I think its best I go because-"

"Oh for fúcks sake! Everyone shut the hell up!" This time I yell at the table and all of them look at me shocked.

"This nonsense stops right now! From now on, no one is going to bad mouth another and talk about my past. We are all here today to have a nice brunch on my expense and to catch up with one another. Not to cuss, threaten or bad mouth other people's mistakes. Am I clear?"

Everyone nods their heads slowly as they look away from me, quiet after being scolded by me.

Taking my seat next to Brianna, everyone still remains quiet, too scared to say something wrong. "Oh, by the way, daddy, I would like you to apologise to Renata. She only did the right thing for me and she has lectured me several times about him. If I told you about him, you would have arrested him without even thinking twice about it because he was twenty at the time."

Renata pierces her lips together as she waits for my dad's apology. "Oh and about my father. That was very low of you to say Uncle Sebastian," Brianna adds rudely. Nudging her side about her manners, she just rolls her eyes.

"I am sorry Renata. That was really rude of me to talk about Fieto and the divorce. I am sorry about my outburst about Carmelita as well. I just did not expect you to hide away this secret from us but I guess you had every reason to." My father murmurs his apology.

"Thank you Sebastian."

"Are we all fine now?" I ask everyone and all of them say 'yes' in unison.

"Good. Let's go eat."

With that being said, everyone gets up from their seat and walks over to the buffet to get their starter. "Drama." Brianna mutters to me making me sigh heavily.

"There always has to be but I just did not expect things to blow out of proportion here in a classy restaurant. It's actually embarrassing to be really honest because I saw how everyone was staring at us."

"No, I just think it's my mom's big mouth." She chuckles. I can't help myself as I laugh with her, knowing how true that is.

Brianna's mom always had a big mouth and she is a person who always attracted attention from everyone but's something we all love in a special way.

"You know true Latinas. They don't shut their big mouths ever." Brianna whispers against my shoulder as her mom is right behind her, making me grin.

"No wonder Ronaldo does not want to embrace his roots. He does not want to speak the language and tries to hide the fact that he is half Latino, acting all white." I mutter in disbelief.

"True. I have seen it for years. Oh well. You can't change him, can you now? He is not like he is twin, who loved himself and accepted his roots." She shrugs.

"Yeah."

After what Ronaldo told me about my brother, I find it hard to believe it and I seem to look at him completely differently.

Ronaldo bares lies and for him to tell us something miraculous like that, it takes a lot of will power to do it. After all this time, believing all the sweet gestures was to somehow win me over. The fact that my own brother was in love with me just makes me sick to the core.

"Carmelita, can I speak to you for a moment?" Brianna's mother asks, interrupting our conversion.

Brianna just walks pasts me, allowing the two of us to talk. "Sure. What's up?"

"I personally want to apologise to you about the outburst. I never told them about your secret relationship because of your father and power of authority he holds. I wanted you to spread your wings a little, knowing what it feels like to have a boyfriend and have someone special for you. Just teenage love and I never thought that he would make you disappear.

"I still couldn't tell your parents about it because I felt like it was not my place and I had no proof about him whatsoever. Also, your dad mentioning why Fieto left us. He knows it's a touchy subject, especially now that he got this young girl pregnant and-"

"Wow. How do you feel about it?" I ask shell-shocked, watching her sigh slowly as she looks at the buffet table.

"Honestly, I am not taking it quite well. I know it's been years since Fieto and I have been divorced but the actual fact that he has gotten this young girl pregnant, it's just unbelievable. The man is forty-five for fućks sake and got a twenty-six year old pregnant. How fuckíng crazy is that Carmelita?!" She says, completely annoyed.

Not as crazy and my parents being involved with America's most wanted criminal and human-tracker, following the footsteps of theirs twenty years later.

"It's repulsive actually. What has your children have to say about this?"

Besides Brianna, she has an older sister named Karla who is twenty-six, and a younger brother, Leo who is eight years old.

"They don't know yet because I know that it will cause so much drama. Come on, this girl is Karla's age, so one can imagine how thoroughly disgusted Karla will be when she has to hear someone her age is giving her a baby sister or brother."

Shaking my head in disbelief, I watch how Renata looks deep in thought.

I know she is hurt by it. Fieto was her first love, her high-school sweetheart. They had three children together and were married for twenty-two years. Now he has some random girl pregnant which is just unbelievable.

But he has somehow carried on with his life, forgetting all the years he spent with Renata.

"He is not worth it." I tell her and she looks at me blankly. "Tia, he is not worth fretting over. I know what it's like to be cheated on and I can tell you, it's the most uncomfortable and nerve-wreaking feeling in the whole world. That's what it feels like even though you are divorced. It's like Fieto cheated on you and you upset about it."

"Carmelita...." She whispers weakly, becoming emotional. Setting my plate down, I take her hands into mine.

"I just want to say that he is not worth crying or being upset about because I know that there is someone else that is waiting for you. You still quite young and you still look absolutely hot for a mother of three." Renata laughs before she hugs me tightly.

"Oh Carmelita. How I missed you so much. You are a third daughter to me and without you, I felt lost just like Brianna. I am so glad you are back my baby."

Chuckling, she loses her embrace around me and smiles at me before she catches up to my mother who is almost finished filling up her plate.

Quickly, I fill up my plate with a starter and catch up Briana who is pouring herself some freshly-squeezed orange juice. "Hey you. What was my mom talking to you about?" Brianna asks me zealously.

Your father getting a young girl pregnant and you are going to be a big sister again.

"She was just apologising to me personally. She felt like she needed to explain herself." I shrug, pouring myself a glass of juice as well. "But enough about me. There is something I am dying to ask you!"

"What?" Brianna chuckles as we leave the buffet area, making our way to the table.

"How is the love life? Is there any special person in my best friend's life?" Nudging her lightly and playfully, her playful demeanour changes the seconds those words leave my mouth.

She pierces her lips together briefly before she looks up at me blankly. "Did I say something wrong Bri?" I ask her with confusion but she looks around to see if anyone is near us before she answers me.

"I... Carmelita... Just promise me you won't freak out, please?" Brianna asks quietly, scared someone is going to hear our conversation.

Why is she acting so weird about it?

"Okay?"

"I am kind of... stuck in the middle. I am into guys and girls. My mom recently found out and she went ballistic. When you get out into the real world after high school, things change. Not many know because if they know that I am bi-sexual, it will change how they see me." She mutters uneasy.

"Brianna. I couldn't care less. As long as you are happy, that's all I care about. Whether it's a guy or a girl you end up with. I would never see you differently. I might have left, knowing Brianna as the guy crazy girl but I left you knowing Carmelita the virgin."

Both of us burst into laughter, easing the tension between us as she grins widely.

"That is definitely true but just so you know; I still want details about that. The gossip Bri and Carmi is still around, okay?" My best friend teases me.

"We need to have a sleepover. Just the two of us with no disturbances. Just good ol' Carmelita and Brianna gossip and catching up on life." I suggest, making her nod frantically.

"Absolutely!"

》》》

"There the pretty lady is!" Harry says excited as he claps his hands together while the rest of the men join him on the couch.

"Hi curly-wurley!" I giggle.

The brunch went smoothly after me reprimanding the table which is exactly what I wanted.

Brianna and I made plans for later in week to catch up on life which I am definitely looking forward to because I really missed her so much.

And currently I am Factiming the guys before they head back home tomorrow before I go to bed.

"Just putting it out there before we fight who misses Carmelita the most, I do. Take it or leave it." Niall explains to everyone and they look at Niall annoyed.

"Listen here Niall James Horan-" Liam interrupts but before they can argue, I interrupt them first.

"I miss you all equally. Full stop. There has been more than enough fighting for me today, so I had enough." I explain to them calmly, trying not to get irritated by their bickering.

Even though it might be playful, I am over all this unnecessary fighting. My whole life has just been fighting and I have finally reached the point of having enough after today's events.

After me reprimanding the whole table at the restaurant, they did not mention one thing about my past and everyone got along like I asked which was much more comforting than before me storming out the restaurant.

"What happened?" Niall asks zealously.

"My best friend's mom confessed that she knew about Zayn and I. My father lost it and it was really bad." I tell them, shaking my head.

"That does not sound very welcoming for you. How was the whole welcoming? How did they react?" Harry asks me next.

"Oh they cried as much as I did. They are really glad I am home safe and sound. They took it really hard when I left as they almost fell apart by divorcing each other. I am glad it's over and I am back. I really missed everyone. This morning, I went to church and my best friend's mother literally shouted out to the whole church that I am back." I chuckle and some of them chuckle with me too.

"That's actually really amusing." Liam snickers. "I can imagine that the whole church lost their marbles when they saw you."

"Liam, the priest literally called me to the altar and made me do a mini-speech. He stopped the whole service just for me. Can you believe it?" I giggle and this time, all of them burst out laughing.

"What am I missing out on?" Louis shouts out in the background. A few seconds later, he appears with Timothy in his arms as he sits down next to Niall.

"Hi Louis and Timothy." I wave at them with a grin on my face.

"Aunty Carmi!" The little boy screams out excited as he wiggles in his dad's embrace, making me giggle.

"Hi baby. How are you? I miss you so much!" I say to him, feeling my heart becoming, missing him once again.

"Miss you more." He pouts, leaning against his dad for comfort which pulls my heartstrings.

"I hope you are being a good boy. Are you excited to meet your granny and grandpa?"

Timothy nods his head in response, not saying one word to me as he plays with his dad's hands. Louis pulls him higher to his chest, rubbing his back in comfort.

I know it's hard for both of us because I am so use to having Timothy in my routine and now he is moving miles away from me with the possibility of not seeing him again in person.

"And everyone else? Excited to go back home?"

"Absolutely! I miss my family so much!" Niall says excited while everyone nods in agreement.

"What time are your flights?"

"We flying together at noon tomorrow to London and that's when we all separate ways from each other, taking individual flights to our home towns." Liam explains to me.

"And your stuff? What about Buddy?"

"Buddy is going to stay with Mike and Donovan. As for our stuff, it's all packed to be shipped to the UK. We began to clear the house once Sirus died so that we wouldn't be running around the place like a headless chicken to get everything done. The house is already sold, so it's all settled for us. None of us want come back anytime soon or even at all because we really just tired of this place." He tells me, making me nod slowly.

"But babe, I will definitely come visit you and the family to let them know about my wonderful self-" Liam continues to boast but Louis interrupts him.

"Oh please! You think you are the shit when you are actually a piece of shit." Louis scoffs. All of us chuckle except Liam who is glaring at Louis about his snide comment.

"Remember, our doors are always open for you but you see, you need to come visit us in England to-" Harry tells me and this time Niall interrupts him.

"And Ireland. You are forgetting the most important Harry Edward Styles."

Chuckling at how silly these men are, Harry looks unfazed at him while Niall just smiles sheepishly at him.

"I miss you all so much. Seriously. I hope I will come visit you in the future once everything is settled on my side."

For the next half an hour, the five of us talk over Facetime catching up and talking about future plans before they are unavailable for the next few days. I really am happy for them to be going home and rekindle their relationships with family and friends.

"Okay, let me know when you guys are settled in and ready to talk."

"Will do. Bye Carmelita!" The men wave me goodbye then hang up.

Closing the lid of my laptop, Toby jumps up onto my bed to join me. "You ready for bed?" I giggle, petting his head as I place my laptop on the side table and change into something I can sleep in.

Just before I am about to go sleep, I quickly go say goodnight to my parents. When I reach the living room, only my mom is sitting on the couch watching some reality TV show.

"Hey. I am going to bed, so I just want to say goodnight to you." I tell her as I place my arms around her, kissing her on her cheek. "Where is dad?"

"Dad is gone to the station. There is some emergency and they need him urgently." She explains to me and I nod in understanding.

"Anyway, night mami."

I head back into my room but I hear my mother's footsteps behind me. Sliding into bed, she enters my room and leaves the door ajar before she sits down on the empty side of the bed.

"Now that your father is not here, I just want to talk to you baby. While you were busy on the phone with your friends, he mentioned something that you told him earlier on. He did not want to question it but as a mother, I want to hear about it, only if you are comfortable talking about it, of course." My mother says squeezes my shoulder in comfort.

"You dad said you mentioned about being pregnant. Do you want to talk about it?" She whispers carefully as I look at her blankly.

Piercing my lips together momentarily, my mother waits patiently for me to say something about the sensitive topic. A topic that still bothers me even though it's been two months since the incident happened to me.

If the miscarriage did not happen, I might have been three months pregnant now, without the father in the picture as I raise the baby as a single mother.

I know I am better off being not pregnant, especially how things turned out between Zayn and I, but I have that burning desire to be a mother right now.

"I was pregnant... but I did not know about it and not knowing about it, ended up in a miscarriage."

My mother looks at me with pity. "Oh Carmelita. I am so sorry to hear that."

"But Malik knew about it somehow and he made me take abortion pills unconsciously." I tell her and her empathy changes to shock, as she gasps, covering her mouth with one her hands.

"He just gave you pills and you had no idea it was abortion pills?"

Nodding, my emotions get the best of me as a tear slides down my cheek and my mom caresses my cheek, wiping the tears that fall down my face.

"That is such a foul thing of him to do to you. Why?"

"He never wanted to have children, even in the future. We argued about it constantly and he was scared that I was going to insist on having the baby when he did not want one. He had to make me take the pills without me knowing and I ended up in hospital, almost dying because of his selfish fears."

My mom just shakes her head in disbelief as shuts her eyes tightly closed to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill. Reaching out for her arm, she looks at me and the tears falls down her face. "Mami..." I whisper through my tears.

"Carmelita... I am so glad that are you still here after what he did to you and what makes me even gladder is that he is out of your life. After he cheated and almost got you killed, it's enough for me to say men like him don't deserve us woman, especially if they give and do everything for them."

"I know but... a part of me really wished that I could still be pregnant and have our baby. It's all I ever wanted from him. To get married and have children of our own. The fact that I lost our baby, even though I did not know I was pregnant, I am still distraught about it up till this day even though it's been two months." Despite the two of us crying, my mom takes my hands into hers.

"Let me tell you something sweetheart. I know, out there, there is a wonderful and respectful man waiting for you that is much better than Malik. A man that wants more than just sex out of you. A man that wants a family and loves you for what you give to him just like your father.

"I know you having a hard time getting over this long relationship you had, but Carmelita, it was completely toxic and it made you someone that is not you. If you had to be pregnant right now, you do realise you would have to be a single mother of this baby because one thing for sure, there is no way that Malik would still have been in the picture. You are better off without him and the baby because looking at that child for the rest of your life, will only remind you of the unwanted memories you shared with the father." She explains to me sincerely.

"I know and I am somehow glad I am not left in that predicament. I know Malik comes out wicked and abusive to everyone but I knew the true him. I knew deep down, he was really sweet and loving person who I saw from time to time. I loved him for that. One thing I will be grateful, despite the fact that he was left no option, is that he is getting the help he needs to become even better than before. I hope that being in rehab and going back home to his family, will change his views about wanting a family and how to be towards woman in general."

"I guess so but you are one strong young women Carmelita. You have gone through a lot and you still here, pulling through." My mother says impressed as she wipes away the stray tears away from my face.

"Just like you mami. Just like you."

》》》

I have been m.i.a. I know I know I know 🙈
But I have been busy studying for my rewrite exams. So I treated you with a 5000 word chapter for my lack of updates 😊

And I PROMISE next week I will update again because this coming week is going to be too hectic to update because work and stuff.