When I say go away, I'm trying to see how much you care to stay.
Rose and Derek were in a heated conversation, tuning us kids out. Andrew got up from his seat, "I need to use the washroom."
He left the table and Brandon walked after him, "Yeah me too."
I looked at the couple smiling, "I'll talk to them. Don't worry. Enjoy yourselves together."
I waddled away in my heels nearly falling face flat. Andrew slammed his door locking it as did his brother. I sighed and walked up the flight of stairs before sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall between their doors.
"Brandon? Andrew? Just come out please. We can talk."
"Go away!" They said simultaneously. I got up and knocked at Brandon's door first, since he was the youngest.
I knocked and knocked and knocked until my knuckles were red and Brandon finally got annoyed. His door flung open and I bent down pulling him into a hug. He sobbed in my dress, "I remember when my dad would hurt my mom and Andrew. I waa young but i wasn't dumb. I remember when Andrew would tell me to hide in the closet until dad left for another bar. I remember when I always forgot to do something, Andrew would take the blame...he'd take the blows. He always told me he walked into a wall. I don't want history to repeat itself, Jessie."
He held onto me tighter and my heart felt for the broken little boy who always put on a facade to hide his true emotions.
"It won't. Derek wouldn't be like that. You, your mother and your brother deserve better. Maybe God realized this and sent an angel from above. Maybe Derek is just a nice man who wants to get to know y'all better."
He pulled away wiping his eyes, "You think so?"
"I know so."
The truth is, I didn't know squat. But if it made him feel better then...great.
"I want you to go downstairs and get to know him and I want you to be happy like pappy."
He laughed and I smiled, "And I want a kiss."
I raised my eyebrows at him. I laughed breathlessly, "The old Brandon's back baby!"
I placed a kiss on his cheek and he said, "Woah Nelly!" He skipped down the hall and down the steps and I smiled.
Now for you mister Andrew...I rhymed.
"Can I come in?"
"Can you leave?"
"No."
"Then no."
I sighed and sat on the floor again, leaning against his door. "O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?"
"Go away, Jessie. I don't feel like talking to anybody," I could hear him laughing lightly and I smiled.
I knew he got up from where he was and was now leaning against the opposite side of the door, because I heard.
"I take thee at thy word. Call me but love I'll be new baptis'd."
"You're quoting Romeo now, Jess." He chuckled, "Do you even know what any of that means?"
"Nope." We sat in silence until I spoke up again, "Andrew let me in."
"I want to be alone...sorry."
"Andrew, I love you."
"I love you too, Jess but-"
"Then let me in."
"I don't want to. Because I know you'll tell me some shit that'll make me cry like a wuss and then I'll feel guilty and I'll have to apologize to the damn man."
"You don't want me to do that?"
"No."
"Okay...I'm still not leaving though."
"Jessie, go away."
"No."
"Jessie..."
"I'm not leaving you. I'm staying...becasue I love you."
I heard him sigh and heard shuffling behind the door, "Andrew?"
Silence.
"Andrew?"
Silence.
"Fine then. Be a fucking baby about it."
I got up from my position and dusted off the back of my dress. I walked down the stairs and I knew he heard my footsteps but he stayed in his room.
I forced a smile at the ones at the table, "No luck?"
I shook my head, "No luck."
I took a seat and Derek said, "I should talk to him."
I snorted, "Fat chance."
They looked at me and I looked up, "Sorry. It slipped. I just mean he wouldn't want to talk to you...he didn't even want to talk to me."
He's digging his own grave. Hopefully he could climb out though.
I had felt really bad that Andrew wouldn't want to talk to me. I felt like maybe he doesn't really love me...maybe it's just a facade. Maybe he was mad at me...for what reason? I don't know. I came with him to the stupid dinner even though I said no. I came only because I cared about him and he just shuts me out, just like that.
Tears pricked at my eyes but I blinked them away when I heard footsteps behind me, plus...mascara. The seat next to me was pulled back and Andrew sat down. Derek sat back in his seat.
Andrew put his hand on my thigh, under the table. I put my hand over his and he looked at me. I avoided his eyes and looked back at my unfinished, cold food.
After a few minutes of talking, me being silent, I said, "I should go now." I smiled at Rose, "I told my mom I'd be home by at least eight"
"It was nice having you dear," Rose smiled.
"Thanks for inviting me," I smiled at them both, "And nice meeting sir."
I stood up, Andrew's hand falling from me and gave Brandon a hug. I closed the door behind me as I inhaled deeply before exhaling just as loud.
I headed for my car just as I heard the door open. Andrew put his hand on my arm stopping me. "You didn't tell me bye."
"Go away," I mocked him and he ran his hand through his hair.
"Is that why you're upset?" His hand caressed my cheek before dropping to his side. "I'm sorry. The only reason I came back was because Derek said you seemed sad that I wouldn't talk to you."
His voice was soft. "You begged me to come then when I do, you ignore everything I told you and you're a complete ass hole to Derek who's trying to be nice and then you don't even want to talk to me?"
He came closer to me, his lips grazing mine as he talked, "I'm sorry, babe. I only did that because I knew I was wrong and you were right and I already felt guilty, I knew you'd make me feel even worse."
He closed the space between us. His hand cupped my cheek as the other held my waist. I put my hands over his as I enjoyed the sweet, soft and slow kiss. He pulled away shortly after and he rested his forehead on mine. "I love you."
I smiled, "I love you too."
He placed on last kiss on my lips before pulling away from me. "Do you have to go?"
"Yeah I do."
He stuck his bottom lip out, pouting, "I'll miss you."
I tapped his nose and laughed. I came closer to him and tugged at the end of his shirt, "I might stay if you let me see your tattoo."
He put his hands over mine, "You drive a hard bargain...but not hard enough."
I groaned and he laughed. "Bye."
He began to walk off but I stopped him, "Andrew?"
He turned around, his hands pocketed. "Yeah?"
Should I invite him over? What if he tell me I need therapy? What is he makes my mom send me?
"Never mind."
His eyes lingered on me before walking back into his house. I got into my car and started the engine before driving off.