~*The Day they Fly Out To California*~
Allie's P.O.V
"I can't believe I am about to go to L.A!" I squealed as we stood in the middle of the air port. Luke smiled at me but Mikey rolled his eyes.
"It's to fucking early to be awake. Stop being so loud!" Mikey snapped at me. Luke got up and walked over to him.
"Luke it's alright. He'sjust grumpy because I am allowed to come along but Kennedy isn't." I said. Ashton and Luke started laughing. I could tell Calum wanted to, but he wouldn't because he knows how mad all of us are at him still.
"Haha very funny." Mikey said rolling his eyes at me once again. I returned the action. Mikey has been bitchy with me recently. I think Calum is influencing him to be an asshole towards me. I don't know what I even did to him, he cheated on me. Not the other way around.
"Flight number 34465 to LAX airport in California may now begin boarding." We heard a voice say over the intercom. I picked up my carry on bag, which was mostly Lucas's stuff, and I grabbed his car seat. I had called the airport and asked if he needed to be in it and they told me he had to be while we were in take off, and while we were landing. Ashton grabbed my suitcases and carried them over to get loaded on the plane.
I'm going to Los Angeles with the three best people veer. Then there Calum, yeah he's coming too. I might say only two best people,because Mikey is being a dick right now. I hope he'sonly tired and missing Kennedy and he's not acctually mad at me for something I didn't do.
We boarded the plane and found our seats. Just my fucking luck, I am inbetween Calum and Ashton. I don't mind being next to Ashton, but I hope to the fucking Lord that Luke makes Calum switch seats. If he doesn't I think I might die. It'll be an awful plane ride with him next to me the whole time.
I decided to text Luke and ask him to switch seats with Calum.
to: Lukey - I don't wanna sit next to him. :( Will you switch seats?
from: Lukey - I think you should talk to him. I know he's a douche bag but you're gonna be living with him for two whole months. You have to talk to him at some point.
to: Lukey - Fine. -_-
I turned off my phone and put it back in my pocket, before I got yelled at since no electronics are supposed to be on during take off. I leaned my head on Ashton's shoulder, and looked across the aisle to see Luke and Mikey playing with Lucas.
Mikey is moving his hands around while Luke is holding him up on his feet. They are making it look like he's dancing. Lucas is laughing so he must be enjoying time with his uncle.
"He looks just like you, you know?" I heard Calum say. When I turned to look at him he smiled at me and Ashton. Ashton just rolled his eyes and looked away. I smiled at him, because I know he cheated on me but Luke is right. I have to at least be civil with him if we want to have any fun in these next two months. Without the constant fighting between the two of us.
"He has Ashton's hair." I said. I looked up and saw Ashton smile.
"And you're eyes." Ashton said back to me.
"He has your nose." I said. Ashton smiled, because I always make fun of his little nose. I think he has a cute nose, as awkward as that sounds.
After our short conversation with Calum, I fell asleep with my head on Ashton shoulder. I could hear him slightly humming, along with the laughter of my baby who was being entertained by his uncles.
~* 8 hours later*~
"Babe, wake up. We just landed. You slept the whole time." I heard my boyfriend whisper in my ear. I opened my eyes and saw that Luke and Mikey were just carrying Lucas off the plane. I got up and walked out with Ash and Calum following behind me.
When I got of the plane, I felt the sun onmy face. It felt amazing. Sun shine theree hundred sixty-five days a year. I could get real used to this, real fast. Australia is great, but nothong compared to here.
As we walked through the air port, I saw a bunch of 5SOS fans waiting for the boys. I felt like htis was gonna go bad. They know I have a son and they know I am Luke's sister, but what happens if they ask who the father is? If I say Ashton, all hell will break loose and I would die. As would Lucas, and possibly Ash.
"Ashton!!!" I heard some girl yell. I turned to see Ashton smiling and poseing for a picture. All the other boys were in a similar position, but Luke was still holding Lucas while one of his fans was talking to him and taking pictures of him. Lucas seemed happy, I thought he would have freaked out because of the noise by now. Maybe he is a born star just like Luke is.
He takes after his uncle, his dad, and me I guess. We're all gonna have a lot of fans. Well, I hope I will anyway.
"Allie! " I heard my name being yelled, I turned around and saw a group of girls signalling me to go over to them, so I did.
"Oh my god! Allie, I have wanted to meet you since the first time i heard about you! We all love you!" A girl, around thirteen said and her friends all nodded. I smiled at them.
"Ahw really? Thank you, I love you all too." I said. They squealed. Is this what fame is like? It's loud, but I could get used to it. People fangirling over me? Doesn't sound to bad if you ak me.
"Could we get a picture with you?" The same girl asked. I smiled at her again and nodded. I stood inbetween her and another girl who looked a little older then her. They looked similar so I assume they are sister's.
I took a few selfie's with her. We took silly ones, and a few where we all smiled. Sammy, she's fourteen, is the one who spoke to me, her older sister Mikayla, she's sixteen, their bestfriends Hannah, and Chareolette, are both fifteen.
I learned all the girls names and I said I would follow them all on twitter.
"Luke is coming over here with Lucas!" Chareolette yelled. All the girls got all happy and started jumping around. I smiled at Luke as he walked over.
"Allie can we get a picture with all of you as a family?" Hannah asked. I looked at Luke who nodded. I smiled at the girls. I took Lucas out of his seat and I let Mikayla hold him in the picture. Luke kissed Chareolette's cheek, while I had the other two girls, Sammy and Hannah in a hug. We asked some random dude to take the picture as he walked through the airport.
"Allie we have to go. Tell them I'll follow them all." Luke whispered in my ear before he walked off. I nodded and told the girl. Mikayla handed lucas back over to me.
I walked out to where the boys were waiting for me, by a van. Well,Luke, Ash and Mikey were. Calum was no where to be seen and it worried me a little bit. Calum is never late. And I mean never.
I was about to ask where he was, but he came out the door with coffee's from starbuck's, and Macca's fot all of us. We all climbed in the car and started heading towards the 5SOS house. They told me when they were here before it was an amazing house.
"So,how was your first time meeting a fan?" Calum asked me. Ashton looked uncomfortable, but I guess Cal is gonna try, I mine-as-well try too.
"It was amazing! I didn't want to leave them. They were so nice." I said. Cal smiled a tme. I looked at Ashton, who looked upset. Luke looked happy that Cal and I had spoke words to eachother with out yelling I hate you at one another, and Mikey was eattig a cheeseburger not even caring what was going on.
"I know the feeling. Are ready for more? Because you are gonna be seeing a lot of that soon." Calum said. I nodded at him and smiled. Ashton shifted next to me awkwardly. I am gonna have to talk to him about this when we get to the house.
"Do you have any songs written?" Luke asked. I nodded.
"I wrote a couple. Including the one I'm colaborating with one of you on." I said with a wink.
"WHo are you colaborating with?" Mikey asked. I shrugged my shoulder's.
"Can't tell you. It's a surprise." I said.
"well, before we go to the house we are gonna stop to record some stuff. You'll record the song you want as your first single, so that they can edit it and release it with in the next two weeks." Luke said. I nodded. I heard Lucas starting to fuss next to Ashton. I was about to get him but Ashton did, I smiloed at him but he didn't return it.
Something is deffinately up his ass.
We stayed pretty silent other then a few jokes here and there, til we got to the studio. We spoke to the lady at the front desk and she directed us towards our studio. Studio number three. We all walked ovber there and they were set up for me first.
I walked into the booth and started singing a song, I wrote the other night when I couldn't sleep. It was kinda about Calum, and Ash in a way I guess.
mainly Calum. I heard him talking to Carli on the phone and I hated what I heard them talking about. It broke my heart to hear him say what he did. He's gonna know the song is about him,but I don't care. I hope he get's the message.
~*flashback*~
"Carli, I have told you before. I loved you not her. I keep her around, so that I don't have to do all the cleaning around here." I heard Calum say from the kitchen at Luke's house. I was standing around the corner and he was on the phone with the devil, a.k.a Carli. He had her on speaker, so I could hear everything.
"How does she think anyone likes her? Have you seen her? She's fat as fuck and has ugly scars on her wrist. I love knowing i am the cause of them."I heard Carli say, then she laughed.
"She'll never bee good enough for me. She's nothing like you. I'm glad I got you all to myself now. Sneak around without Ashton knowing was getting hard. Same with Allie. She was to lazy to leave the house ever." Calum said. Ouch, well that hurt.
"Just be nice to her. I don't need the piblicity right now. My belly is growing and it'll suck being on camera." I heard Carli say, and that's when I stopped listening to the conversation. I didn't need to hear anymore.
I walked upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom. I slid my back down the door and started crying. I shouldn't be upset, I should be over him, but the fact he was playing me like i was his old favourite toy, sickens me. He acted like he loved me. He acted like he loved Lucas, when in reality he kept me around for his own benifit.
I grabbed my blade from my phone case and looked at it for a little. Calum always told me to stop,but he was just pretending. He wouldn't notice if I disappeared. He wouldn't care if I died right now.
I slid the blade across my arm and said what I have said since the first time I cut myself ever.
"Once for my heartbreak, twice for my foolishness, and thrice for just being me." I whispered as I cut three times. I immedeatley felt awful and threw my blade, because I promisedAshton i would never do it again. And I just broke that promise
I walked into the recording booth and but on the headphones. I don't know if I will make it through this song without crying, becvause I remeber what Carli said now. Calum doesn't want to be nice, he's doing it for the sake of his fame.
Asshole.
I heard a track starting to play. The one I had Jonathan send in. It was just me playing rhe piano.
Here goes nothing. I'm about to record my first song!
I am the diamond you left in the dust
I am the future you lost in the past
Seems like I never compared
Wouldn't notice if I disappeared
You stole the love that I saved for myself
And I watched you give it to somebody else
But these scars no longer I hide
I found the light you shut inside
Couldn't love me if you tried
Am I still not good enough?
Am I still not worth that much?
I'm sorry for the way my life turned out
Sorry for the smile I'm wearing now
Guess I'm still not good enough
After I sang through the first verse, I locked eyes wth Calum as I sang the chorus. His mouth dropped open when he heard what I was saying, because it was all related to that phone call. He knows...
Does it burn
Knowing I used all the pain?
Does it hurt
Knowing you're fuel to my flame?
Don't look back
Don't need your regrets
Thank God you left my love behind
Couldn't change me if you tried
Am I still not good enough?
Am I still not worth that much?
I'm sorry for the way my life turned out
Sorry for the smile I'm wearing now
Guess I'm still not good enough
Now is the big part where I can show off my voice. I made sure Calum had his eyes on mine. I sang this part from the heart. It was my way of saying, I'm not scared of you. You hurt me, but I'll get right back up and fight. Over and over again.
Release your curse
'Cause I know my worth
Those wounds you made are gone
You ain't seen nothing yet
Your love wore thin
And I never win
You want the best
So sorry that's clearly not me
This is all I can be
Am I still not good enough?
Am I still not worth that much?
I'm sorry for the way my life turned out
Sorry for the smile I'm wearing now
Guess I'm still not good enough
I walked out of the recording booth, still fighting the tears that were about to fall. Luke hugged me, as did Ash and Mikey, but Calum looked pissed.
"You had no right to listen to my conversation with Carli!" Calum snapped at me. I was a bit taken a-back, but you know mw. I can't let someone just yell at me. I have to fight back.
"You don't have a right to talk about me after what you did. You told Carli flat out you never loved me. You never wanted to have Lucas stay at yourt house. You were pretending the whole fucking time Calum!" I yelled back. Ashton and Luke's faces were priceless. Mikey was smirking, what the fuck?
"How do you know I wasn't lying?" Calum asked me.
"The fact you got all defensive as soon as I walked out here proves you weren't. Plus, you cheated onme twice Calum. If you loved me you wouldn't have. If you loved me you would have realized what I did to myself every single day. If you loved me, we wouldn't be in this mess right now! " I snapped. I heard Ashton chuckle at what I said. I shot him a glare and he stopped.
"Why don't you just forget about me then? Forget I even exist." Calum said,I could sense a little bit of hurt in his voice.
"It's hard to forget someone, who gave you so much to remember." I snapped and pulled my braclets off my arm. All three of my fresh cuts now visible to everyone. Even Ashton. Luke say them and instantly got defensive of me. Michael was in shock, and Ashton looked like he could cry.
I stormed out of the building and down the street. I ran for at least ten minutes. I felt better being away from him.
Only one problem, I have never been in LA before.
And now I'm lost