The journey back to Australia is exhausting. We take two flights, one from England to Dubai and the second from Dubai to Australia.
We were in Dubai and have our layover, we have wo hours before our next flight, I slept on the first flight so I'm still tired but not sleepy, Delilah and Rimmy were exhausted and we were all sat in the airport. They were both cuddled up and attempting to get some rest.
I took out the small parcel Luke had given to me. I unwrapped it and opened the lid of the box. Inside the box was a letter, a memory stick and his key necklace he always wore.
I picked up the necklace making sure it was definitely the same one he always wore... it was.
I put it back in the box and went to the letter. I unfolded it and it was all hand written.
Dear Evee bee
This is the moment I'm honest with you. I suck at words and conversations but hopefully this comes across how I want it to.
I'm sorry for every time I've hurt you and left, I'm sorry for keeping secrets from you that you deserve to know.
The night after we broke up I drank myself to sleep and woke up without a second thought of it. My dad called me a month ago and that's what made me think of you.
Thinking about what you went through with your dad and seeing the way you handled it made me give my dad a chance again. Unfortunately he hadn't gotten any better and I went back to drinking.
Seeing you again made me feel happy for the first time in a long time, I didn't drink once while you were here, I didn't feel like I needed to. I'm giving you my necklace since I know you'll look after it, if the next time I see you again I tell you I've been sober give me it back (please) but until then, it's yours.
The memory stick has a song saved. I told you I suck at conversations but hopefully the song explains better than I can.
Love you,
Luke Xx
I put the letter and necklace back in the box, I got my laptop out from my bag and put the box back in my bag.
I got out my headphones out and plugged the memory stick into my laptop, I found the file with the song, my heart was racing and I don't know why I'm so nervous.
I played with the sleeves of my sweatshirt nervously while the song started playing.
Wait, don't tell me
Heaven is a place on earth
I wish I could rewind all the times that I didn't
Show you what you're really worth
The way that you held me
I wish that I'd put you first
I was wrong I admit, numb from your kiss
While you were slipping through my fingertips
Taking every breath away
With all of the mistakes I've made
From all the letters that I've saved
This is everything I didn't say
I wish I could've made you stay
And I'm the only one to blame
I know that it's a little too late
This is everything I didn't say
I didn't even notice the smile that had made its way onto my lips, nor did I notice the tears. He understands how I've been feeling and he feels the same, it might not be a blend of the nicest emotions to feel but at least we're not alone.
I know Luke's had his struggles with his dad, I'm still shaken over the thought of Luke drinking excessively, but I trust him, I just wonder if I should reach out to help him or if he'd be too scared to reach out first.
I saw Rimmy stir in his sleep and wiped away my tears quickly. I sat up and rubbed his eyes tiredly.
He looked at me, he must have depths expression on my face because he asked, "everything okay?"
"Everything will be." I said nodding while giving him a reassuring smile.
He definitely didn't know exactly what I meant, but he knows me well enough to understand what I mean.
---------
"I'm in the amazon again!" Alamo said in a sing song tune once I answered the FaceTime call.
I was back in my room, butterscotch was laying across my lap while I petted her.
"Again!" I said, a slight laugh leaving my lips, Alamo has developed an obsession with the amazon, it's his favourite place to be.
"Look how fat this bird is." He said turning the camera around, this is how you know we're related.
"Shut up and tell me when your coming back to visit!" I said, he turned the camera back around.
"I told you, Christmas." He said,
"No," I said, refused to accept Christmas as an answer, that was too many months away, "visit sooner."
"But I wanna go to dubaiiii" he said.
"Why can't I come to Dubai!?" I asked,
"It's a guys only trip!" He said, "I'm sorry, there's not enough time to fit the Dubai trip and a visit home all on my time off."
I rolled my eyes, "pick your boys over me then." I said with my hands up in defence, I had a light tone in my voice to show I was joking.
"Spend time with your boy." He said back.
I looked at him slightly shocked, "what?" I asked.
"I get twitter in the jungle." He said, "I see you with Luke Hemmings at the summertime ball."
"So." I stated.
"Your not actually back with him are you?" He asked.
"Not officially." I said,
"Are you planning to be?" He asked,
I pursed my lips together.
"Your a smart cookie, but let him know when I see him next, I'm punching him in the face." He said, "I don't care if he's your Prince Charming, if he dates you again he's taking a punch for it."
Alaki has always said he would hurt a boyfriend if they hurt me (the usual brother thing) but he seems to love the idea of punching Luke (specifically Luke) in the face.
"You can't punch people! This is why boys don't date me!" I complained.
"Good!" He yelled.
"You can't punch him." I said.
"Yeah, not really your choice." He said.
"Would he let you?" I said with raised eyebrows.
"Your brothers a soldier, he's a pretty little pop star that's whipped for you, he'd willingly let me punch him." He said.
"Alaki, your not punching him and we're not talking about this any more!" I said.
"Okay, but serious question, are either of you dating anyone, other than his PR stunt." He asked.
"I'm not and I'm pretty sure he's not." I said.
"Damn it." Alaki said, "if I see anything on twitter though, I'm sending it to you."
I rolled my eyes. This is the brother I have people.