All of us returned to the Tower later that night. Some of us went to sleep, as for the others stood awake. I stared at the Traveler and the City, leaning on the railing. I stare with a straight face, with my eyes half narrowed. I could only think of one thing; I can't fail. the Vanguards, the Speaker, the City is relying on me to do this, even if they don't know it. Ikora believes that I'm smart enough to get through and destroy the heart. Zavala believes that I'm strong enough to hold myself in the darkest of the Darkness. And Cayde... he believes that I probably won't die. So really no pressure? There's a lot of it.
My heart beat is faster than normal because I keep thinking about it. I'm scared, I really am. I look around and see the Plaza pretty much closed up shop. Tess's store is closed, Cryptarch isn't there, vendor lights are off, and the interior Tower lights are off while the edges of the Tower lights are still on. The light shines my face a little, as the mild wind blows, letting my hair flow with it. As it flows, I realize that my hair has grown longer. Maybe like half of a foot. It was at shoulder length, now it's at back length. The front goes down to my collarbone.
All I hear is just the wind, the faint sounds of the City, and the carrier ships that occasionally fly by. I'm the only one at the Plaza, it's so empty, and quiet. I close my eyes. I relax myself and let my thoughts go. Just for a minute. Think about nothing, or no one at all, just experience what I'm feeling. I hold in my hands my helmet. Celestial Nighthawk. I'll always remember the feeling of this helmet. This helmet, it has so much Light. Why is it so special? I can feel it's containment. There's so much Light, ready to be released. I want to unlock its exotic power. I want to know what it does.
"Hey," a voice a said.
I open my eyes and turn around to see Felix.
I say hi back. He leans against the railing next to me. We stare at the City, having nothing to really say to each other.
"So uh, I just wanted to say that... I'm proud of how much you've grown," he says, rubbing his neck.
I smirk. "Thanks dad."
"You know what I mean," he chuckles. "I also wanted to say that I'm sorry. For having mixed feelings."
I look a bit to the left, away from him. "Don't be sorry. I understand who you feel for. Besides, I hate it when people apologize to me again and again," I said. "Just be with who you like. Be inclined to whom you trust. We'll see in the end who will be your closest. Don't sorrow for past. Rather, savor for the present and future. If you do so, you'll never find a negative in your life."
It was silent. I said my piece.
"I've been doing that since I was resurrected. I've been alone, starving, dying, lost. The only thing I had was my Ghost, and my knife. I've been in torture during those times," Felix muttered, but just loud enough to hear.
I turn to him. "You have to bring that up, it wasn't your fault."
"But it was!" He raises his voice. "I couldn't lift it up! I could've saved her..."
"You can't blame yourself, the Fallen would've killed you, for good," I said, staring at him.
"But that doesn't give an excuse for their deaths," he said, staring at me back.
"Felix, listen. Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your Destiny. When you least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our Destiny."
He takes a moment to process that.
"But how do you know if you make the right call?" He asks.
"You don't, you just hope you do," I replied.
"And if you don't end up making the right one?" He questions further.
I stare down and close my eyes. My hands lock together and remain still. I tell him this, so he learns from my perspective.
I tell him this. "Then you have to take the path that life chose for you and deal with it, whether if you like it, or not. I know that life isn't easy, nor is it impossible. Even if it seems impossible, it's possible. And that sounds like life's a piece of crap, but you know what? It is. But if you try and learn to deal with it, you learn from that piece of crap, and you become stronger and better so you can face the challenge that life throws at you. That is, until one day, life gives you a lesson that affects everyone, a lesson that everyone sees before their eyes. And yet, we're all blinded by it because it arrives so instantly. We all play a role in this game of life. Instead of thinking, or grieving that it isn't fair, or that there's no point, we should try to aspire that role that we play. We're here for a reason. Not just because our Ghosts resurrected us, or just because we fight for the Traveler. It's because we impact people around us, we are the Light to others. That's what makes us strong. Do us favor, do the City a favor, do the Traveler a favor and play the role you meant to be in this world of life. Even if you don't know it, just play the role you think you're supposed to be. Become an influence on others and make them stronger, that's how we evolve. We learn from our ascendants and learn from their legacy, and we use that to our advantage. By combining their legacy with our growing legacy to become stronger. And when the time comes, our descendants will take our legacy and use that with their newborn growing legacy to become even stronger. It's how life works. It's tough, it's frustrating, life may even be a bitch, but that doesn't give any reason to give up in this world. Everyone is important here. Even if you don't feel important, there's someone in your life that you may or may not know that have been impacted by you, and allowing that to happen made them stronger. Don't linger on the bad decisions you made in your life. Just go with it, and if you regret that decision, then learn from that mistake, and carry it on with your Legacy. Even if it's mistake after mistake after mistake, life will turn up for you, and reward you, eventually. Don't think for a second that you're not important, that you don't play a role, that you're not loved. It may seem that way, but it doesn't mean it's true. Hope, Courage, and Strength is all you need in your life to continue your Legacy. If there's one thing I learned, it's that to never look on the dark side, always look on the bright side. So when I go to sleep, and wake up the next day, I remind myself the same question, 'Why do I wake up everyday?' And you know what I say? I say, "For a better tomorrow." I hope that everyday when I wake up, that I make a difference in this world. Whether if it's destroying the heart of the Black Garden, or inspiring someone into becoming a Guardian.
This is a lot to take in from a child like me," I say narrowing my eyes at him with vengeance, but then forgiving him immediately. "but when you're so optimistic for most of your life, you start to think about how you're going to do that. And I had nothing but time to think about it. I say it like it's easy, but its not. It's hard to promise people that I will always be there for them. It's hard to make decisions that harm me in order to protect the ones I love, but it's a decision I stand by if it ever comes to that. I may not be ready for it, but that's what life is, right? Challenges from life that are completely unexpected and that seem impossible. That's why life is the way it is, and in no other way. If it was, then people would think differently and act in ways that we don't always find rational. People couldn't be challenged to find their errors so they can become smarter, or stronger for the ones they pass down. This is why we need life to be like this. So we can become better and better. It's limitless to what our Courage, Hope, and Strength can go. Let it go. Let's try and achieve so much, so others down the line can learn and make the best out of us, and become the best they can be. If I don't make the right decision, oh well. I deal with it, learn, and think of a new strategy. That's my belief."
The wind blew a bit faster. I keep my straight face and think, "Have I said enough to open the eyes of one being to see my beliefs?" I hope I do.
"You preach girl!" A female voice shouted behind me. I open my eyes and see everyone I know. Tracey, which was the one who said that. Indigo, Marcus, Violet, Carolina, the Vanguards, even the Speaker himself. I blush up red as my stomach drops in embarrassment.
"As a Warlock, I knew a Hunter like you had such a way with words since your essay," said Ikora.
"You want me to get you a water bottle?" Cayde joked. "I mean, I don't suffer from dehydration, but how do you speak for that long and not have your mouth dry as sand? Am I not the only one amazed by that?"
I laugh softly. Then Commander Zavala walks up and tells me this. "Your three beliefs in life; Courage, Strength, and Hope, will inspire many victories for all of us. And those three will carry your Light beyond the skies that the Traveler can reach."
I smile and say thank you. When he's done, he steps back and lets the speaker approach me.
"Guardian, your Light has been our beacon. Light the Darkness in the Black Garden, and return as a hero," he said.
"Thank you," I said, bowing to him. "I will not disappoint you."
They all wished the best of luck to me. I was flattered by how much support I received from them. I can't and I won't let them down. Not today.
+ + +
By the time it was midnight, I went to my room and tucked myself in bed.
"This is it," said Nolan. "Tomorrow's the big day. You think you're ready?"
I hum in satisfaction. "Yeah, I am," I said closing my eyes. It's scary knowing that you're the last hope, but at the same time it feels amazing that I'm in control what happens next. It's like I decide what happens in the next chapter of our Destiny.