Elena
"There, it's a bed," H says, lying beside me while I laugh.
We realised it's rather uncomfortable to lie on just one mat, so we stacked a few of them one over another in two piles, creating a makeshift bed for ourselves. We're using towels instead of pillows and we have nothing to cover our bodies with, but it somehow works.
"Did you lock the door?" I ask, suddenly worried someone might come in.
"Yes, don't worry," he replies. "Nobody ever comes here. Well, except Niall, but only at the certain time."
I shift on the side so it's easier to look at him when we talk, his green eyes observing me. I don't think there will be much sleep for me tonight, especially with his proximity, the heat of his body basically radiating off him. There are a lot of things we need to talk about and clarify and it's obvious both of us know it, but neither is doing anything about it. The silence that settled between us is heavy with unspoken words and unresolved doubts.
"H?" I finally decide to speak since I like to get straight to the point. His head turns, his eyes looking at mine, filled with anticipation. "What is it that you wanted to tell me before the alarm today?"
His Adam's apple bobs up and down as he swallows, his eyebrows forming a slight frown on his beautiful face. "I shouldn't be attracted to you. I shouldn't want to touch you or kiss you. I shouldn't want you," he says, his eyes holding contact with mine. "But above all, I shouldn't develop any feelings for you."
My heart is drumming in my chest, my breathing has increased, a feeling I can't decipher settling deep within me. "You shouldn't," I agree quietly. He looks away and it seems he's disappointed, but I'm not finished. "And I shouldn't think about you. I shouldn't want you to touch me or kiss me. I shouldn't want you, either." I gulp nervously, waiting for his reaction.
Our mutual. . . attraction toward each other is finally revealed, the spoken words floating between us as both of us take a few moments for them to sink in. One part of me is elated he feels the same way I do, but the other is worried. Nothing good could come from it at the end, I know it. But if he acts upon it, if his eyes stare intensely into mine, if his fingers brush against my skin, if his lips touch mine, I don't think I'll be able to resist it.
I don't have a lot of weaknesses, but he is very close to becoming one.
"You shouldn't," he repeats my previous response, shifting on the side so we can look at each other properly. "But since we're breaking all the rules anyway. . ." he mumbles, his palm reaching to press against my cheek, warm and rough against my skin.
Tingles shoot through my body as he does it, my body instinctively moving closer to his. My hand slides at the nape of his neck, gently tugging his head toward mine, only a tiny gap separating our lips now. His are almost red, soft and inviting, my own itching to feel them.
"No rules, Elena," he says quietly, his voice deep and sensual. The way my name rolls off his tongue is amazing and I regret not hearing it more often.
"No rules, H," I confirm, finally pressing my lips against his. At first, they only linger on his, taking in their softness and warmth.
The coolness of his lip ring is in contrast with our warm lips as they glide and move in sync, the need to feel more of him slowly brewing inside of me. My free hand tentatively slides under his shirt, feeling his toned muscles underneath my fingertips, his skin heated and smooth. I can feel him tense at the contact, his lips briefly stopping their movements as if he's nervous.
The hand pressed to my cheek tentatively trails down my body, settling on my waist and pulling my body closer to his. He suddenly shifts above me, his hands holding his weight above me as our kiss remains unbroken, only getting more intense with each passing second. One of his hands slides down my body as our chests press together, giving a squeeze to my bum, my hips jerking upward from the action.
A throaty groan leaves his mouth as I do that, the sound only adding to the growing ache between my legs. I quickly hook them behind his back, pressing our crotches together. Another groan elicits his throat, his lips detaching from mine, his hooded eyes staring into mine. I can see hesitation and some kind of inner struggle inside them, my eyebrows pulling in confusion.
"We can't," he says after a few moments, a deep frown on his face.
He pushes himself off me and lies down on his back beside me, a pang of rejection shooting through me, but I decide not to show it. It's not me he has a problem with, I'm certain he feels the same attraction as I do. Why would he kiss me so many times if that wasn't true? And why would he admit it minutes ago? No, there's something else.
"Is everything okay?" I ask, my breathing slowly getting steady, my heart rate turning normal.
He glances at me. "Yeah, I uh. . . I have a feeling this is happening too fast. I mean, we shouldn't be doing this, but we let ourselves forget it so easily. There are rules we need to follow--"
"I thought we agreed there are no rules when it comes to you and me," I remind him.
"We can't pretend you're not a soldier here and I'm not your superior, we can't pretend we aren't supposed to do this unless it's Sunday, or at all for that matter, especially now that there's another war brewing," he says, sighing.
"But that's the thing," I say, shifting a bit closer to him, catching his gaze. "We can pretend here, in this room. It's just you and me here, for a few hours, there are no rules, no wars, no labels. Whenever you want to talk or be with me, I'll come here. And the moment we step into this room, everything else fades."
He watches me intently for a few moments, a grin slowly spreading over his lips, dimples indenting his cheeks. "I like that idea. I really like it."
My expression probably mirrors his. "You have a beautiful smile, I wish I could see it more often." I didn't really mean to say it out loud, but it crossed my mind the moment I wanted to say something else.
"I have to be an example for the soldiers here and the epitome of authority, I can't smile often," he says. "Well, unless something is funny or I'm happy."
"Well, I'm glad I managed to make you smile," I admit.
"Yeah. . ." he mumbles, a faint grin still present on his lips. It seems like he wants to add something, but he doesn't. "So, Tiger, I was thinking if we're planning to keep this; whatever it is; going, we should have a code word for it. Like if I want to meet you here, I just say the word. It'd be like we're on our own secret mission."
I laugh lightly. "That's actually not a bad idea. How about cake?"
"Seriously, cake?" He gives me a look, sarcasm coating his voice.
"I really like cake." I frown, shrugging once. Damn, I wish I had cake right now.
"How about boxing? No one would suspect a thing if we said it somewhere public."
"Boxing. . ." I say, testing the word. "Yeah, alright. Boxing it is."
"High five to seal the deal?" He asks, a boyish grin on his face as he lifts his palm.
I laugh, lifting my palm to slap it against his. "I like your rings," I comment when I get a quick glimpse of the silver rings wrapped around his slender fingers.
He glances down at his hand, a faint smile on his face. When I reach for his hand, he quickly jerks it away. "Nope. Nobody touches the rings but me."
"I can be very persuasive," I joke.
"Oh I know that. . ." he mumbles, his voice slightly deeper. His eyes drop down to my lips then glance back up. "Let's see how good I am at resisting." He shifts on his back, folding his arms behind his head, his eyes looking up.
I only smile, taking a few moments to observe him, my eyes slowly closing as his image lying like that, in deep thought carves itself into my memory. I fall asleep after some time with a realisation I want to spend as much time with him as I can. I like him.
. . . .
"H!" A loud voice calls followed by banging. "Open up!" More banging. "H. . .? You-- you're not dead, are you?"
I recognise the voice. Niall.
My eyes shoot open as I frantically sit up, finding H sprawled beside me, lying on the stomach, his messy curls covering his eyes. In my attempt to stand up as fast as I can, I slide down from the mat-bed, falling on the hard floor with a thud.
"Stupid floor," I mutter as pain shoots through my bruised hip.
"Mhdhsjhg," H mumbles deeply, his head lifting up. He opens one of his eyes to the half and groans. "No." He shoves his face into the towel-pillow.
"Styles, I'm gonna assume you don't want company and I'm starving, so I'm gonna go and eat!" Niall yells again. "I'll bring you some when I'm finished."
I smile at his words. He's a good friend and he seems to know H very well. My eyes widen as I remember where am I, bolting up to my feet. I debate whether or not should I tell him it's time to wake up and that I'm leaving or should I just let him be. I choose the latter since I personally absolutely hate being woken up, besides, he looks very cute.
"Psst, Charming," I whisper. Silence. "I'll see you later," I add, a smile on my face as I reminisce last night. I hope he still wants to be a part of our deal, that he will want to see me sometime soon.
"Blrhsjfgz," is his incoherent reply. He seems to be somewhere between sleep and awake.
"You too." I turn around and walk toward the door. I rub my tired eyes and make sure to redo my ponytail properly, straightening my clothes. As my hand unlocks the door, I throw a quick glance at H's sleeping form and sneak out.
Boxing. . . soon, I hope.
. . . .
I can't help but notice the unusual amount of glares and glances sent my way throughout the morning, making me feel guarded. I'm certain it has something to do with Seth and his visit, especially since he mentioned me in front of everyone. Even when I'm away from him, he manages to ruin everything for me.
"Stop staring back at them," Tori tells me quietly. "Chin up."
I smile slightly at her words, trying to focus on the half eaten meal in front of me. The fact Alex still hasn't arrived in the mess hall is making me anxious, he's always first when it's meal time. H, Louis, and Niall are absent too, leaving only Tori, Liam, and Jess sitting at the table with me.
"Holy shit," Jess suddenly comments, her eyes looking at something behind me. "Stay calm, El, stay calm."
I turn immediately, the sight of my brother entering the mess hall along with Louis, Niall, and H greeting me. However, my eyes widen in shock when I notice Alex's lip is busted, a sour look on his face.
I quickly stand up, pacing toward him, my hands coming up to cup his jaw as I examine the wound. "Who did this to you?" I ask angrily, my eyebrows drawing together.
"I'm fine, don't worry," he answers me, slowly prying my hands away. "Just calm down, Lenny. Let's just take a deep breath, okay, positivity in, negativity out, now follow me--"
"You should know better than trying to calm me down when I'm angry," I tell him. "Who did this?"
"Babe, it's all good, we've taken care of the culprits," Niall says, a reassuring smile on his lips.
"What happened? Why did they do it?" I ask despite knowing the answer. It's simple; we're a threat to them.
"Now is not the time," H says authoritatively. "Let's all just sit down and have our meals. We'll deal with the details later."
Louis gives me a small smile as he walks toward the table with Alex. Only now I notice almost everyone is staring at us and I can't help but feel annoyed. Before I realise it, I'm storming out of the room, my fists clenched at my side. It's his fault, it's all his fault.
"Hey!" H calls after me, my pace only fastening. "Soldier, stop!" He orders firmly.
"No," I reply. "Just leave me be, I'm pissed and I'm very rude when I'm like this, and I don't want to be rude to you because I happen to like you--"
His hand envelopes my wrist, halting my body from moving. My eyes shift to his, a flicker of an emotion swirling in them. "Don't do anything stupid, I don't want any troubles with the two of you again."
"It wasn't my intention to break any rules," I say firmly, pulling my hand away. "Shit, I understand them and their suspicion, I really do. But I thought it was obvious we're on your side in this war."
"David trusts you and so do my friends. Believe me, I've spoken to them about the subject," he says. "I do too. . . well, I'm trying."
"But it's not enough. Even David and you can't go against your base. You know, every person would leave in this situation," I tell him, watching as a frown appears on his face, his lips parting to make a comment. I quickly cut him off, "but Alex and I are not quitters, that's why we've survived for so long. We'll fight to stay here and we'll fight in the war for you."
H remains silent for a few moments, his mouth slowly breaking in a grin. "Wait a minute, did you say you like me?"
"Excuse me," a voice says. I turn around, a soldier with a stoic expression standing in front of me. "The leader has asked for you and your brother to come in his office."
I nod, throwing a quick glance at H. I expect him to go back inside, but instead he begins walking with me toward the main building. We walk toward David's office in silence, ignoring the tension between us, even in the lift. When we arrive, the scent of a cigar smoke greets us, my brother already standing in front of David's desk.
"Why are you here, son?" David asks H. "I need to talk to them in private."
"Why?" He asks, slightly offended. "This matter concerns me just as much as you."
"Yes, but what I want to tell them is personal, it has nothing to do with official business," David replies, his tone firm. "Leave the room, soldier."
H visibly tenses, debating whether to argue or not. I notice a determined look on David's face and it's clear H has lost in this argument. Surprisingly, his eyes shift on me for a few moments before he turns and reluctantly leaves the room.
"I'm sure you're both aware of the tension that has been building since yesterday," David starts and it's the first time he's speaking so formally to us; as the leader he is. "You know I'll do everything you two stay in Hazard, but things aren't looking good."
Alex and I exchange glances and I nod solemnly. "We know. But we'll do everything we can to avoid trouble and prove our loyalty."
David smiles. "I know. I just wanted to warn you, but I see someone has already attacked you." His eyes glance at Alex. "I'm sorry. Just be careful, both of you."
Alex waves it off. "H has taken care of the attackers. Remind me not to piss him off."
David smiles. "Yeah, he can be very creative with his punishments. He honestly makes me laugh, that's why that is his duty. One time a group of soldiers sneaked out without permission and he made them sleep in the woods for the night. It was pouring outside, it was horrible." He laughs loudly.
I smile widely at his words and Alex laughs with him. I don't understand why does David thinks he's not a good father, but then again, I don't know what happened between the two of them. I'm grateful he's the way he is, who would expect an army leader to be this fun?
Alex and I wrap up our conversation with him quickly, both of us moving toward my room. It's Saturday, but nobody tries to stop him and tell him to go back, I guess they've been warned to stay away from us. The moment I unlock the door, Alex runs inside and plops down on my bed, messing up my neat sheets.
When a polaroid that was hidden beneath my pillow drops on the ground, he quickly picks it up, a smile slowly twisting his lips. It's a three years old picture of the two of us, his face a picture of happiness as I'm hugging him from behind, our cheeks pressed together. We were so happy that day.
"I don't say it enough, but I love you, Lenny," Alex tells me after a few moments. "No matter how annoying, evil, boring--"
"And absolutely amazing I am, I know," I interrupt. "I love you too."