-Tori POV-
A few days had passed.
Nate and I were good. We hadn't fought or argued about the whole tour thing which was great. Because I didn't want to fight with him either way.
Firstly, I was happy and proud of Nate for getting this far. The fact that he had been given this opportunity was wild and he deserved it. I wasn't the least bit bitter or upset about it.
I was confused. I didn't know where to put my future hopes and dreams now because everything switched up. I was hesitant to start a family and get a new place with Nate but after it had settled in, I was ecstatic for it.
Now that couldn't exactly happen right away.
"Ready for family dinner?" Nate asked me, breaking my thoughts as he emerged from the shower that evening.
Every Saturday night, we tried to get together for family dinner at Nates parents house. It was a way to reconnect after everyone's busy week. And to be honest, I missed the Maloley family.
"Just need to get dressed." I nodded and walked over to my side of the closet. I could feel Nates eyes wander over my body. Granted, I chose to walk around in favorite underwear of mine.
We hadn't done anything in about four days which is normal for most couples. I don't want to say we're savage but Nate and I always had our moments. There was a tension between us as we would always be over each other.
"Tori?" Nate called as I stood on my toes to reach for a tank top.
"Hmmm?" I asked absentmindedly.
I tensed when I felt Nate's warm body against mine. He reached up and got the tank top for me - making sure he had ran his hands across my hips. I quivered from his touch.
"Here." He mumbled, breathing down my neck slowly.
I gulped and noticed I had gripped his arm to keep balanced. My fingernails dug into his skin but he didn't flinch from the pain.
"Baby." Nate sighed and ran his thumb across my bottom lip. "Please don't shut me out like this."
I felt my heart clench. I didn't what to do or how to handle this situation, given that I've never been in more than a handful of relationships.
"I need you to speak to me." Nate grasped my waist tightly.
I couldn't speak. Not when he looked at me this way and touched me like that. I would be a mess minutes after this.
"Please." Nate pressed his lips against my neck. Soft delicate kisses along my skin made me exhale in pleasure. "Please."
"Nate." I managed to get out, allowing my nails to graze his back gently. I felt his sigh from the simple touch.
He looked up at me. "I haven't felt your touch in days." His voice was pleading as he gazed up into my eyes.
"I just don't know anymore." I admitted softly and looked down.
Nate perked up. "About us?"
"No." I chuckled. "About what we both want. And it scares me because I don't want this marriage to fail."
"Baby it's not going to fail." Nate said immediately. "Nothing will fail if you just speak to me."
"How?" I felt my throat close. "Without sounding selfish? Without saying that I want you all to myself? That I want you with me."
A small smile played on his lips. "The fact that you want me, will never let this marriage fail."
I gave Nate a look. It was sweet the way he always tried to downplay a fight lately which wasn't okay in the same sense. It just made me feel like I couldn't get my words across. They were stuck in my throat.
"Look." I took a deep breath. "I just think that we're not on the same page with our future. Its not a bad thing."
"It's not good either." Nate raised his brow and gave me a frustrated look.
I shrugged.
"We'll talk about this later then." Nate said with a cold hint in his voice. I couldn't tell if he was angry or hurt but I guessed both.
"I'm sorry - " I tried to reach out and touch his arm but it backfired.
"Nah." Nate shrugged me off. "You don't wanna talk so I don't wanna talk either Tori."
I felt a tinge of guilt as Nate walked into the bathroom - slamming the door behind him. I knew I was wrong but how could I approach the situation without seeming ignorant.
I decided to get ready for the family dinner. There was no way we would talk things through before then.
-
"Tori! Nate!" The Maloley family greeted us with hugs.
"I missed you!" Kaylan - Nate's sister aid with a grin and nudged me. "You didn't even call after the vacay!"
"I've been busy Kayl." I said. "But we can hang out soon, I promise."
She smiled and walked into the kitchen, signalling me to follow. There was a look of secrecy in her eyes.
"What's going on?" I asked.
Kaylan giggled. "Nates agent, Ethan is stopping by as a surprise!"
"No way?" I frowned - curious as to what this could entail. "Big news?"
Kaylan nodded. "You'll see! I just wanted to give you heads up so you're not in a huge shock."
"You're scaring me." I chuckled. It must be something else that Nate hadn't brought up.
"No!" She swatted my arm. "Just act surprised when you see Ethan anyways and don't tell Nate."
Just then Nate and his mom walked into the kitchen. "What are you two giggling about here?" Mama maloley asked and sidehugged me on her way to the oven.
I felt Nate stand behind me as I leaned against the counter trying to come off as casual. His presence was warm - not even touching my skin yet but it was close enough. I wanted him closer.
"Just - " Kaylan began.
" - boys." I finished for her. She was a terrible liar.
Nate cleared his throat.
"You know this guy at college." Kaylan said quickly, covering my mistake up too because I wasn't good at lying either.
"Right." I nodded. I snuck a glance at Nate who looked at me then - his eyes so distant.
"Of course." Nate shrugged and left the kitchen. I bit my lip in guilt.
Kaylan frowned. "What's up with Mister?"
I shrugged. "Search me."
So dinner progressed as normally as it could have. Everyone was cheerful and good-natured. Nobody noticed the weird vibe with Nate and I. So I was almost content. It was almost perfect.
Around 8:15 p.m Ethan showed up with Derek. Immediately we knew something big was about to happen since Derek wouldn't stop bouncing around the dining room table. It was kind of funny.
"What's going on?" Nate asked.
His mood had roughly declined the whole evening, the longer we couldn't speak, the more sour he became. And I didn't blame him much - this was my mistake.
Ethan grinned. "We got an immediate call from Justin."
"The biebs?" Kalyan asked, eating a piece of fried chicken.
"Duh young one." Derek pinched her cheek playfully.
"You two are going to be an opening act and recurring in his purpose tour for a month." Ethan announced.
Nates mood escalated. "Ethan! Homeboy you playing with me? That's a huge tour man."
Ethan shrugged. "You guys leave tonight to catch the show tomorrow night."
Nate laughed ecstatically. He leapt up and bro hugged Derek and Ethan in one go. The trio looked beyond happy. I couldn't help but smile at them proudly.
"I'm so happy for you guys." I shook Derek's shoulder playfully - him being the closest next to me. "This is just what you need!"
As I spoke, Nate locked eyes with me and his smile faltered. I forced myself to smile and give him an enthusiastic grin despite our situation.
But everyone seemed to catch our glance.
"Everyone..." Nates mom spoke. "Let's get some fresh air outside on the patio."
Just like that, she motioned everyone outside along with Ethan and Derek who both looked at Nate apologetically, also forgetting I was in the equation now.
"Tori - " Nate began slowly and ran his hang through his hair.
The regret in his voice made me feel like I could burst into tears. I felt so selfish and wrong since the start of the news Ethan had given us a few days ago.
"Hey." I shrugged casually. "Its okay, its going to be amazing."
"Stop it." Nate groaned. "Stop acting like you're okay with this."
"Doesn't matter." I smiled but there was a sad and final note in my voice. "I already rescheduled classes for the family vacation, I can't do it again."
"Retake them." Nate suggested.
I shook my head. "A whole year? I can't Nate and you know that."
"Fuck."
"Its just a month." I said with a strong and supportive smile. "Separation is good sometimes, it'll give us a chance to miss each other."
"How can it be good when you and I aren't even in a solid place before I leave tonight?" Nate asked. "Do you know how frustrating that is?"
"Of course I do." I muttered. "I know how it feels, I'm here too. But I'm trying to he rational."
Nate nodded. "Guess I'm leaving tonight then."
This was the first test. There was no time to kiss and make-up or have a last night together. We had had plenty of those and now it was real life.
Just a month? So much could happen and we both knew that. We both knew we hadn't been away from one another for almost five days. This wasn't going to be easy and telling each other it would was just a lie.