( TERRIBLE THINGS. )
carl grimes.
warnings:
swearing
word count:
3412
keys:
(y/h/c) – your hair color
(y/f/n) – your full name
(y/e/c) – your eye color
author's note:
this is dedicated to my best
friend who moved away
when we were in sixth grade
and is still continuing to
support me and love me
like a sister from another
mother. imysm and ilysm!!
play 'terrible things' by
mayday parade while reading
this imagine hehe
─── • ° *｡✧ ───
[ CARL'S POV. ]
❝ by the time i was your age, i'd give anything.
to fall in love truly was all i could think. ❞
back then, i didn't care about anything besides wanting to fall in love. i was so desperate that once, i even asked and bribed beth to be my girlfriend for a day in the past. it didn't work though.
in the apocalypse, you get lonely. all you see are abandoned streets, buildings, houses and the rotten undead wanting to feed on your flesh. what a wonderful world we live in.
the only people that you see are either from your group or from unexpected places, like the time i met her.
❝ that's when i met your mother, the girl of my dreams.
the most beautiful woman, that i'd ever seen. ❞
she was beautiful.
no, she was gorgeous.
i've never seen a girl like her, mainly because the world went to shit when i was young and i haven't seen a lot of people around my age.
she looked like the most beautiful person in the world to me.
sure, there's michonne, maggie, carol, and sasha who are all beautiful, but i couldn't keep my eyes off of her. plus, she was my age.
❝ she said, 'boy, can i tell you a wonderful thing?
i can't help but notice you're staring at me.
i know i shouldn't say this, but i really believe,
i can tell by your eyes that you're in love with me.' ❞
months after i first met (y/n), she still didn't have any clue that i liked her. although, according to daryl, we both instantly 'hit it off' and our eyes sparkled when we faced each other for the very first time.
i was constantly thinking about confessing to her for weeks, but all plans were abandoned and canceled. i always froze when i was in front of her and i always thought, 'what if she doesn't like me back? what if she doesn't feel the same way? what if she wants us to be just friends?'
"carl?"
i snapped out of my thoughts by the melodic and sweet voice of (y/n).
"yeah?"
"can we talk for a while? i have something to tell you."
oh shit, get ready to be rejected.
i felt beads of sweat run down my temple as i swallowed the lump in my throat. "s-sure. what's up?"
she sighed. "carl, i know that we've been best friends ever since you guys found me and i appreciate that completely." she broke eye contact with me and looked down at the ground, sighing again before she continued, "but we can't be friends anymore."
i felt my heart drop and break into a million pieces. being told by the person that you love that they don't feel the same face-to-face is heart-wrenching.
"oh, i-it's o-okay. i-i understand," i stuttered again, feeling the tears begin to fall. i turned around and was about to walk away until i felt a hand tug me back and a pair of lips instantly press on to mine. i froze and my mind went blank until i realized that it was (y/n) who was kissing me. instead of pulling away, i kissed her back and enjoyed the moment that i've dreamt about for weeks. i placed my hands on her waist while hers was on my shoulders.
after a while, we pulled away and her (y/e/c) eyes looked into my blue orns. "you didn't let me finish," she giggled. "i want us to be more than friends." the corners of my mouth curved up into a smile and i kissed the tip of her nose, making her face scrunch up whilst giggling.
"oh and daryl told me about your little crush on me." i pulled her into another kiss and muttered, 'he finally did one thing right' against her lips.
❝ now, most of the time we'd have too much to drink.
we'd laugh at the stars and share everything. ❞
sometimes, we have these nights wherein we don't give a damn about the walkers and the world anymore and just let loose for once. we let go of our problems for one night and enjoy being alive.
that night was one of those nights.
apparently, glenn found some liquor store when he searched for supplies in an abandoned town and he came back with several bottles of alcohol. with that, the group settled in the woods for the night and the adults were drinking until they're black out drunk.
"here. have some, my boy." dad passed me a bottle of beer and i refused, shaking my head. "oh, come on. don't be a pussy!" glenn commented. "just one sip," he tried to persuade me, but i stood my ground.
"nah, i'm cool," i said, refusing the bottle of alcohol in dad's hands. i heard darryl groan and he snatched the bottle from dad's hands. "kids these days, only care about their relationships and not about having fun," he grumbled, taking a long sip from the bottle.
"hey, i'm fun!" i protested.
"says who?"
"just ask (y/n), she'll say yes!"
daryl snickered and nudged glenn using his elbow. "by fun, she'll mean in bed—"
before darryl could finish his sentence, i grabbed the bottle from his hands and gulped the rest of the beer down my throat.
i heard their cheers and yells of encouragement as i chugged every last drop of the alcohol. i expected the taste to be bitter and be immediately disgusted by the taste, but honestly, it wasn't that bad. as soon as the bottle was empty, the world started to spin and i could smell the scent of alcohol in my breath whenever i exhaled through my mouth. i burped out loud, causing the group to laugh.
i felt my heart beat rapidly and the adrenaline run through my veins. i searched for another bottle and when i did, i emptied it in seconds.
"atta boy, carl!" the group hollered as the fluid ran through my throat and to my stomach.
as i continued downing drinks, i started feeling weirder and dizzier. my vision was blurry and my mind kept spinning, making me lose my balance whenever i walked.
"woah there, tiger." i heard a chuckle and felt someone place their arms around me to help me stand up. i was about to answer, but a hiccup beat me to it, causing the person to laugh much louder.
i looked to my right and saw the face of my beautiful girlfriend. her eyes beamed with amusement and admiration as she looked at me. her hair fell in front of her eyes, making her put her hair behind her ear with her free hand. she looked beautiful, as always. "(y/n)!" i wrapped my arms around her body, burying my head on her neck. her chuckles sent vibrations through her body, making me laugh.
"i missed you, baby," i coo, still buried on her neck. she placed her hands on my back and hugged back. "i was only gone for a minute."
"it felt like years!"
"that's because you're not thinking straight, hun." she pulled away and bopped my nose.
i felt a light bulb light up in my mind as a plan formulated in my mind. "hey, how about we leave and do something that only involves the two of us."
"jesus christ, carl. if you're asking me to have sex with you—"
i shushed her, placing my index finger on her lips to stop her from talking. once she was silent, i smirked and held out my hand for her. she raised an eyebrow at me questioningly and reluctantly took my hand. i lead her away from camp and walked to a grassy open field.
when we arrived, she looked at me with confusion written on her face. "carl, why did you lead me here?" i ignored her and laid down on the dark green grass. she was still confused, so i mentioned for her to do the same. she was stunned quiet for a while, but she shrugged her shoulders and followed my actions.
above us were dozens, thousands more likely, of tiny sparkling stars. there were so many stars that some stars formed shapes and images, like a heart or a horse. beside the stars sat the beautiful crescent moon that illuminated the dark night sky beautifully.
i looked over to (y/n) who was in awe at the night sky. her hair all over the place, stray grass on her wrinkled clothes, and dirt covering her soft skin. She still looks like the most beautiful person i know.
"the sky is so beautiful." she breathed.
"just like you."
her gaze shifted to me and i smiled warmly at her. though i may be drunk or tipsy right now, my main focus was on (y/n). i placed some of her stray (y/h/c) hair behind her ear. i pulled her close to me and she rested her head on my chest, listening to my heartbeat. i kissed her on the forehead and stroked her hair as i sighed.
"i love you, (y/n)."
"i love you too, carl."
❝ i said, 'girl, can i tell you a wonderful thing?
i made you a present with paper and string.
open with care now, i'm asking you, please.
you know that i love you, will you marry me?'. ❞
i held the small paper box in my hands. inside was something to officially make (y/n) officially mine, as mrs. grimes.
a gold ring.
during a supply run, we passed by a jewelry shop and i quickly snatched a ring inside. thankfully, i got a shiny gold one, not a rusted ring.
(y/n) doesn't know yet, but the group knows since they saw me holding the box and asked what it was. i told them and luckily, they support me and told me to go for it. even dad told me that he trusts me to do the right thing. plus, it was the apocalypse. you never know if you'll die tomorrow or the day after.
i heard the door open and i quickly hid the paper box behind me. (y/n) peeked her head through the crack.
"hey babe." she smiled at me as she sat down next to me. "oh hey baby."
"what are you doing?" she asked. oh shit, just try to be smooth and cool.
"n-nothing much. just checking out s-stuff." i felt drops of sweat roll down my temple and i gripped the paper box tighter behind me.
"by the way, what's that thing behind you?"
well fuck. there goes my 'surprise.'
"w-what thing? what are you talking about?"
"carl, i saw you holding a small box when i came in here."
i cursed under my breath and tried to formulate an excuse in my head, but nothing came in mind.
here goes nothing.
i brought my hands in front of me and handed (y/n) the paper box. her face was expressed in a confused and surprised manner. she held the box delicately and slowly pulled the strings that helped keep the lid in place. when she fully opened the box, a gasp escaped her lips as her jaw dropped to the ground and her eyes were big as the size of plates.
"c-carl? what's this?"
i breathed out the breath that i didn't even notice i was holding and grabbed (y/n)'s soft and tiny hands, intertwining her fingers with mine.
i inhaled a deep breath before i got down on one knee. (y/n) covered her mouth as she gasped. she tried to hold back her tears, but it didn't work as she started sobbing.
"(y/f/n), when the world turned to shit, i was only 10 years old back then. i was lonely for years, but then you came into my life. you made my world happy and enjoyable, and i appreciate you for that. you are the most beautiful, optimistic, smart, and badass person i know. so, will you have the honor of marrying me?"
(y/n) had tears continuously rolling down her cheeks. she was speechless, so she nodded her head. i brought out the ring from the box and i slipped it through her finger.
"i know that we can't have a major wedding that you have been dreaming since you were little, but i can assure you that—"
before i could finish my sentence, (y/n) wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her lips against mine. "i don't care. as long as i can be your wife." i smiled against her lips and held her close to me.
❝ she said, 'boy, can i tell you a terrible thing?
it seems that i'm sick and i've only got weeks.
please don't be sad, now i really believe that you are the greatest thing that ever happened to me'. ❞
(y/n)'s screams echoed around the room, making my blood run cold. she gripped my hand tightly as she tried her best to push. sweat rolled down the sides of her red and tired face.
"push (y/n)!" maggie exclaimed.
"i'm pushing, goddamn it!"
i gave maggie a guilty smile and she nodded assuringly, telling me that it's okay.
"it's okay, baby. you're almost there, just keep pushing."
"does it look like i'm trying my fucking best to get this over with?!" i ignored her sarcastic remark and squeezed her hand comfortingly.
she continued to scream violently and she kept pushing so hard that the veins on her arms, neck, and face were visible.
i wanted to hold her in my arms, to comfort her and tell her that it's going to be okay, but she was in labor right now, i couldn't do that, not when she's giving birth to our child.
she screamed one last time before a soft cry of a baby was heard. i sighed in relief, it's finally done.
maggie wrapped the baby in a sky blue blanket, "congratulations, carl and (y/n)! it's a boy." she gave us a small smile and gave my son to me. i felt tears prickling my eyes and i blinked them away, letting them fall. i caressed the soft cheek of my son with my finger.
he's so beautiful.
"hey there, little buddy," i cooed at the baby in my arms as he gripped my finger. "your mommy and i have waited a long time for you and you're finally here." more tears rolled down my cheek. after so long, he's finally here and i couldn't be any happier.
i turned to (y/n) whose face was pale and exhausted from hours of labor. she smiled faintly at me and i gave him to her.
her fingers grazed over the skin of our son, smiling lovingly. "he looks just like you," she said brushing the brunette hair of our son. i nodded and smiled.
"what should we name him?"
"how about . . . tyler?"
i smiled a bright smile and thought of the name. "tyler grimes. i like it."
"tyler it is then," she said. i chuckled and kissed her on her forehead, letting my lips linger in there.
when i pulled away, (y/n) looked pale as ever and her hands were ice cold. her bright (y/e/c) eyes were replaced with dull and blank ones.
"hey, hey. (y/n)? what's wrong?"
she didn't utter a single word and her eyes were droopy. "(y/n), don't close your eyes," i panicked and the baby began crying. i told the baby in my arms and asked for maggie to take him outside.
(y/n) gently laid down on the bed and her eyes were almost closed. "no! don't you close your eyes, okay?" i shook her shoulders slightly, trying to keep her awake, but it wasn't working. "you're going to be okay, baby. everything is going to be okay." hot tears rolled down my cheek and landed on the bed.
"carl," she faintly said. i raised my head to look at her. "i love you so much. take care of tyler for me and tell him that i love him with all my heart."
"no, no, no, no! you're going to be okay. you're not going anywhere."
she placed her freezing hand on my cheek and i reached for her hand and held it. "you are the greatest thing that ever happened to me, carl." she wiped away the tears from my cheek using her thumb. "please don't forget about me," she whispered before closing her eyes and exhaling one final breath.
"i won't and i never will." i kissed her forehead one last time and let the tears fall.
❝ now, son, i'm only telling you this because life can do terrible things. ❞
"daddy?" i snapped out of my thoughts and turned to the 4-year-old in front of me.
"yeah, buddy?"
"what was mommy like?"
i sighed, trying to contain the tears from falling. "well," i crouched down to his level, "your mommy was my sunshine in this world. she was the only thing that kept me sane and happy. she was the most beautiful girl in the world in my eyes." tears began rolling down my cheek, but i didn't care. "she was my world, my savior, my other half that i lost."
tyler pouted and tried to stop himself from crying. "h-how did mommy die, daddy?"
"she was giving birth to you and after a few minutes, she passed away."
"why?"
"i don't know, bud. i don't know."
it was silent for a few minutes. mine and tyler's sniffles and whimpers are the only things that can be heard.
"it's my fault," i hear tyler say. my head instantly snapped up to look at the crying little boy. "it's my fault that mommy's not here anymore. if i wasn't here then mommy would be alive right now."
i wrapped my arms around my sobbing son and patted tyler's back comfortingly, my tears staining tyler's shirt.
"don't you dare say that, tyler. it wasn't your fault, it wasn't anybody's fault. your mommy loves you very much, she told me that. your mommy and i are thankful that we have a son like you, so don't say that, okay?" tyler's sobs became louder and he began shaking, making me clutch him closer to me.
"i know that your mommy is watching us from afar, protecting us from the monsters. be strong for her. okay, bud?" i kissed tyler's forehead and ruffled his hair.
"daddy?"
"yeah, bud?"
"i miss mommy. i want to see her."
my already broken heart shattered into a million pieces just by hearing tyler say that.
"i miss her too, bud."
[ READER'S POV. ]
"i miss you too," i whisper, watching my family sob from afar. i want to go up to them and tell them that i'm here and that i'm never leaving them, but i couldn't.
tears rolled down my cheek and soft whimpers left my mouth. i miss them so much.
i've tried so many times to reach them, but i always fail. i felt a hand on my shoulder and i turned around to be met by beth and tyresse who had soft and worried expressions on their faces. i assured them that i'm fine and they nodded their heads, understandingly.
"you have a wonderful family, (y/n). i'm so sorry that they have to go through this," beth said as she gave me a warm hug. "thank you, beth."
"they'll never forget about you, (y/n)," assured tyresse. i gave him a small smile, which he returned.
i heard my name being called. "c'mon, lizzzie and mika have been waiting for us to play with them! you know how impatient they can get," beth said, dragging me out of the sight of carl and tyler sobbing.
"i love you both," i whispered, looking at my family one last time before following beth and tyresse into the light.
─── • ° *｡✧ ───
wow i'm horrible
anyways, thank you
again for 1k reads!
and i'm sorry for the
wait, school has
drives me nuts i s2g
i wrote this while i
was in a restaurant
and jfc i tried my very
best to not cry in the
middle of eating
dinner kms
i hope y'all liked this
imagine and the next
imagine will be up
soon. ily all 🙈💞
last updated:
january 27, 2020