CARMELITA'S POV
It's funny how things change in a split second and there is no way you can control it.
It can be life-changing in that second and it can be for the good or for the bad.
But in this case, it is definitely gone for the bad.
"Carmelita! Breathe!" Sophia cries out but I can't between the uncontrollable cries that come out of me as I am lying on the floor with my head buried in her lap, hyperventilating and sobbing hysterically.
It never was supposed to turn out this way and there is nothing else that hurt more than this. For the first time in four years – this is real pain I am suffering.
And nothing will ever come close to this.
All I am asking is – How and why?
Why out of anyone else has to be me that have to suffer like this?
》 》 》
February, the twenty-third.
The day before my twentieth birthday. My last day of being a teenager before I join the group of twenty-year olds.
I am lying if I say that I am not excited for my birthday tomorrow because I love celebrating birthdays and of course my own now that I am finally catching up to my friends.
There still is an age gap between all of us but finally I am in the twenties and that makes me nothing more than ecstatic.
And what is the best way to spend my last day being the only teen in the whole gansterism shít than spending it with my closest friends at spa, relaxing.
This day couldn't get any better.
As planned, I leave the house at seven to pick Sophia up who is very wide-awake at this hour of the morning.
"Morning Carmi!" She gushes once she gets inside the car, sitting in the backseat. "A very good morning to you Sophia. Someone seems a bit too excited for today's adventure."
"Between you and me, I have never been so excited to get out of that damn house, away from Liam for once and I am finally going to a place two hours away from here. Don't you agree?"
"Definitely! I am so glad that everyone has allowed us to go alone to Palm Springs to have a pamper day just before my birthday." I chuckle as I make our way to pick up Jade from her place.
"Also, this is the very first time I am going to have a spa day so this is a bit exciting to me yet overwhelming." She admits quietly making me gasp.
"No way! You never had a spa day in your life?! Chicka, you are in for a treat for sure!" I say exasperatedly.
"I hear so from Jade. She called the house this morning at six-thirty to tell me the whole La Quinta experience." She chuckles.
At this early hour of the morning, nothing puts me in a good mood than someone who is also in a good mood.
Thank you Dios for making this day a pleasant one so far.
"Jade loves that spa. If she could drive there every day of her life, I am sure she would." Once again I chuckle. This time Sophia joins with me.
"You can say that again."
"One rule when we get to the spa, we only talk Spanish. You'll be surprised by how nosy the workers are."
"Noted."
Taking twenty minutes to get to Jade's place, Donovan is standing outside with Jade.
I wouldn't put pass of Donovan wanting to check me out before he lets his lady go away from him far away.
"Mañana Senorita. You know exactly why I am up at this early hour of the morning." He greets stern but in a playful manner.
"Mañana Senor. We are all going to be safe and you know that Dono. Besides, we are all big girls here and we can defend ourselves if in need."
"I sure hope so. You said you will be back five, latest six-thirty. Am I correct?"
"Si. You can phone us but I will definitely phone everyone to check in. Rest assured." I say reassuringly making him nod in agreement.
"Great. I'll see you later and you girls have fun. Not too much fun though." He warns us playfully and we all giggle in response.
"No promise there babe." Jade snickers. Donovan rolls his eyes, walking back towards the gang house while I continue the journey to Palm Springs.
"Good morning Carms and Soph. Glad to see your faces that I have missed." She coos.
"We have been quite occupied. I have things to tell you Jade! Too many things, right Sophia?" I say dramatically and in the rear view, I see Sophia nodding in agreement.
"Oh yes. Lots of things!"
》 》 》
"I have been looking forward to this." Jade says in awe as she lies down on the massage table, preparing herself for our massages.
"This is the only reason why we drive two hours. For her." I say to masseurs making them laugh.
"At least you keep coming back ma'am. That's a good thing."
Immediately the masseurs get to work and all you can hear is Jade's soft moans of satisfaction.
"Cállate! Es demasiado! – Keep quiet! It's too much!" I mutter to Jade. Sophia giggles and it's impossible to not join her.
"Oh whatever!" She defends. "Fill me in on what's happening?"
"Sophia, who should I start with?" "Whitney."
"What about that puta? What shít did she get up to now?"
"Now when I am around and it's time for Timothy to go home, he gets super emotional and causes a scene. I came unexpectedly and he made a scene for me in front of her. That pisseđ her off major. I came to calm him down and she acts all crazy. Jade, she fucķing touched me and dug her stiletto nails into my shoulder.
The puta knows that she mustn't get in my way but she dug her own grave. In a split second, I slapped the shít out of her. Louis was even impressed. So glad I was able to get that off my chest."
Jade gasps, gaping at me while I grin proudly at her. "Oh dios mio! No way! What did she say or do next?"
"I first calmed down Timothy and when I came back for him to finally go back home, she tells me 'I fucķing hate you. Just remember that' Puta left and I was kind of stupid to not say anything. Next time I must."
"Now I wish I saw that with my own eyes! Sophia, did you see it?"
"No. No one except for Louis saw it. When Carmi told us what she has done, everyone was surprised. Who thought she would actually do it?" Sophia answers.
"Everyone was impressed. That was the best thing I ever done. Last night there was more drama. You'll never guess who Soph, Liam, Zayn and I were hanging with last night."
"Who?" Jade asks zealously.
"Patrizio." Sophia and I answer in unison. Once again Jade gasps looking at me wide-eyed.
"Okay, what the fucķ does he want from us?"
"He says to us that he wants in on the plan to kill you know who. Apparently he is sick and tired of living like this and now that he has a woman, he wants to settle down with her and have kids."
All three of us laugh in unison, knowing that is all but lies that Patrizio has told us. Since I know this guy, I have seen him nothing but use girls like cheap fucķ and go's over the years and now he expects us all to believe what he has said.
There might be slight chance that he actually is in love with someone and that he does want to settle down to have children but after all these years, it's all too sudden.
Even if he does have a woman, why does he keep looking at me with lust then? He is such a swine to be playing woman like that.
"Bullshiṭ. That is the worst lie he has ever told, I swear Carmelita. This guy is up to something. Why the hell would he turn against Sirus, his 'brother' who gives everything Patrizio could ever want at a snap of his fingers?
Besides that, if Sirus ever found out that Patrizio is associating with us behind his back, Patrizio will get killed instantly. Ten years of friendship all down the drain because of us. It's risky and too good to be true."
"Exactly what I thought! No one, including Sophia could believe Patrizio even though he cooked his own goose when he decided to make a mockery of us! He had some nerve to mention things that weren't even up for discussion, things anyone else but us are supposed to know!" I exclaim.
"Carmi, what was he talking about you asking Liam for a favour? Is it a lie or is he actually telling the truth."
The secret of me seeing my father has nothing but bothered me. I really wanted to talk about my dad but Zayn is not that person, especially when he acted disrespectful towards him. I know for sure that these girls will keep my secret safe because everything we say to each other is always kept amongst us.
"It's true Sophia but no one can know about this. About two weeks ago, when I bailed Zayn out of the police station, an officer helped me. That officer was my father. No one knows this but my dad is police officer at the Miami Police Department. His appearance in Los Angeles obviously raised my suspicion.
Liam found out why my dad was here and it was just all a false alarm. It turns out he was filling in for a police officer for the week and now he back in Miami."
"Chicka, are you okay?" Jade murmurs and I nod in response.
"I was a bit upset about it but I have to accept that this is my life and there is no way out until Sirus is dead. I will go back home one day but for now, this is where I have to stay." I shrug, feeling a little bit blue as I miss home, my family and my friends.
"Did he know it was you?" Sophia asks zealously next.
"Almost. He said that my eyes reminded me of his daughter that has gone missing. He even showed me a picture of the sixteen-year old me and one can imagine how I was getting more overwhelmed by the second. I was so close into telling him the truth but I knew if I did, it's going to turn bad."
Jade elongates her left arm out, trying to reach out for my hand. I stretch my arm out as well and once she has my hand in hers, she squeezes in comfort.
"You'll be home soon. Don't you worry Carmelita. For now, let's think about the girl who is finally turning twenty tomorrow and enjoy this day of relaxation." Jade says with a smile on her face.
"Zayn actually wanted me to stay at home with him. He wanted to spend my last day being a teen with him, not anyone else."
With that being said, Jade smile disappears from her face quickly to a frown. "That's a bit selfish, don't you think?"
"I think its cute how he wants to make my last day special but I told him that I can't cancel anything. He has the whole night with me so surely that should make it up."
"Pre-birthday sẻx." Sophia mutters and I gasp, looking at her wide-eyed.
That's the last thing I expected her to say.
Jade and Sophia giggle together while I turn red as raspberry at their very true accusation they have made.
"I can't believe you said that! Oh my god!" Finally, I chuckle along with them. Sophia shrugs and when I look at Jade she shakes her head.
"It's not a lie. Come on, everyone gets pre-birthday sẻx." Jade says bluntly.
"Not everyone." Sophia interjects Jade, making her raise her eyebrows with eagerness.
"Have you even had sẻx before is the burning question amongst us girls and maybe men?" Jade asks boldly.
This is maybe going a bit too far and a bit too serious for my liking.
"Why does everyone want to know my status? It's something you don't discuss with anyone, no matter who they are. I don't ask about you or Carmi's sẻx life, so why do you two desperately want to know mine?" Sophia says sternly and between the three of us, it goes dead silent.
"Uh-"
"Fine. I won't question it further then." Jade interrupts me before I can say anything.
"Girls, I hope we are not fighting. We are all friends. We all love each other." I say reassuringly but Jade just nods in response while Sophia still looks very serious.
"Honestly, I just don't like people asking me that question because it really has nothing to do with them." Sophia mutters.
"It's okay. I understand how it feels. In the beginning, I was always asked the same question, so I know. We sorry about it and we won't question it any further."
"Thank you Carmelita. I really appreciate it." Sophia smiles sheepishly at me before she looks ahead of her, clearly having nothing else to say.
Looking at Jade, she rolls her eyes in annoyance and mouths the word 'bítch' to me. Shaking my head, she waves her finger in the disapprovingly to disagree with me.
Sophia does have a point and I am not taking her side. It can get really frustrating when countless people ask whether you are a vírgin or not because apparently it's a big deal to people.
Maybe Jade and I have been too nosey and that's not what we are supposed to do. We are supposed to make her feel comfortable and make her feel at ease while she is here.
Let me be honest, Jade is very nosy to know about everyone business so now that she doesn't know about Sophia's status, upsets her because she wants to know everything about her.
All I am hoping that nothing is going turn catty today. Out of all days, I really don't need the two of my friends fighting over petty things.
》 》 》
"We will be here when you get back." I say to Jade as she leaves Sophia and I alone at the pool area to get herself waxed.
Since we had our very relaxing massages and facials, it's time to eat lunch since two hours has passed so far and I starving.
After the whole status conversation, things seemed awkward for a while but eventually we were up to our usual banter.
"Enjoying yourself?" I ask Sophia ask she takes a sip of her cocktail. "Yeah. This place is beautiful but also I am feeling so much better than I was a couple of hours ago."
I chuckle before eating from my pasta. "Absolutely. This spa makes you feel like a brand new person."
"Carmelita, can I just say something and you promise you won't get angry when I say it?" Sophia mutters. Placing my cutlery down to give her my full attention, I look at her with confusion while she looks at me poker-faced.
"About what Jade said, I don't like how she questions me at times. Look, I am trying to fit in but by the looks of it, Jade and I have a love/hate relationship. She is just not a person I usually socialise with and you too.
I know I am too soft and vulnerable while you two are provocative, sensual and hot. You know everything, you seen everything and done everything like you have told me. You are a much better person than Jade and what I see Carmelita, Jade is not your real friend."
Jade is not my real friend. What the hell is she talking about?
She has been there by my side from the beginning and I know who Jade truly is. Yes, Jade can come out wild and blunt but that's all a part of her personality. Sophia barely knows her so who is she to judge my best friend?
"Sophia, thank you for looking out for me but I know Jade. I have known her for several years and Jade isn't what she acts like on daily basis. She has been through tough times and great times. As for her, we are alike. She has gone through things you would never think about.
Jade can be too inquisitive at times but you know when to draw the line. For example, what you told her earlier on shut her up and that's why you need to stand up against her when you feel like she is overstepping the boundary."
"Carmelita, I know for certain Jade doesn't like me but pretends to. Same for me, I am admitting that I don't like her but I act like I do." She says nonchalant.
"I am sorry Sophia but I like Jade. She is a real friend and she is the girl that has been there for me all this time."
"Yes but look at her Carmelita, she bad mouths your boyfriend almost every time you're with her. If she was a real friend, she has to accept him for who he is and your decision in loving him." Sophia retaliates.
"I think it's best she be honest if she doesn't like him. Why be a suck up? Because she is my friend and doesn't want to hurt my feelings? I tell her straight if there is something she is doing that I don't like."
Okay, now I am getting angry. This girl knows nothing about my best friend and here she is bad mouthing her.
Fuckíng hypocrite.
"You know what; just forget we had this conversation." She brushes is off and continues to eat her lunch.
Rolling my eyes, I ignore her as I continue to eat my own lunch.
I honestly can't believe she actually thinks Jade is not my real friend. What does she know? She only has been in this shit for four months, so she knows nothing about anyone and what we really do.
I have a feeling that this is all jealously and Sophia just treating Jade as her punching bag because all of us know that Sophia is the black sheep of this group.
Whose fault is that? Fucķing Liam's.
It's his fault that he caught Sophia's attention in the wrong way and now we are stuck with her. I wish she was quiet like always because now she being too confident.
Yes, I told her to stand up for herself but now that she is being difficult, this has become a problem.
I really don't want anything else bad happening. Today's cat fight has been enough and all I am wanting is to go back home to spend the rest of my day with Zayn.
》 》 》
"Thank you Carmelita. I enjoyed that spa day. We should all do is some time again."
Telling the truth or lies Sophia?
"Yeah. Totally. I'll see you tomorrow at the restaurant at twelve?"
"Of course. I can't wait to see the birthday girl!" She grins. "Bye Carmi. Enjoy the rest of your day being nineteen."
"Thank you. I will." Waving her goodbye, I drive back to my house to spend the rest of day with Zayn.
It's only four PM which is great because instead of coming home later, I have some extra hours to spare with Zayn like I promised.
But he doesn't know that I am coming home early. I want to keep this as a surprise and show him that I will always try my best to make time for him when he needs it.
I wonder what he has been up to today. Probably speaking to the rest of the gang about Patrizio's offer that I doubt we will ever accept.
Five minutes later, I pull up in the driveway, parking next to an unfamiliar car.
Who is visiting us? I didn't know we are expecting visitors today.
Frowning, I get out and inspect the silver Volkswagen parked next to Zayn's black Mercedes. Who can this possibly be?
Finally I go inside the house, looking around the living room area. "Zayn?" I call out but there is no answer.
This house is too silent for my liking.
Grabbing a gun on the table, I make my way upstairs where there I can hear harsh whispers coming from one of the rooms.
As I slowly walk towards the bedroom, the whispers become more louder and once I step inside, the gun falls out of my grip from the appearance I see before me.
Zayn and some random biṭch getting dressed back into their clothes that is scattered on the bedroom floor.
Both of them look at me wide-eyed, obviously in shock that I am here and seen them caught in action.
What about me? I am just as shocked as them but overwhelmed at the fact that this has been going on behind my back for god knows how long.
Zayn has been cheating on me and of course with a woman that's his age.
"Who the hell are you?" The biṭch spits at me.
As much as I don't want to admit to it, this bítch is one beautiful girl.
She actually looks almost like I do when I was sixteen years old and that's a bit scary – long brown hair, green eyes and flawless body features.
It's clear why Zayn has gone for her. She is just as beautiful as Natalia.
I'll never be beautiful like they are and I'll never meet their standards.
"So it seems like he has been lying to the both of us hey? How rich." I say in disbelief and just as Zayn takes a step forward, I place my hand up.
"Don't you dare move one step Zayn!" I threaten and look back at the clueless girl.
"I am his wife." Placing my left hand up, I show her my ring and of course she gasps in surprise.
"Oh my god! You didn't tell me you're married!" This girl cries out and I have to refrain myself from rolling my eyes. Instead I shake my head in disbelief.
Look at this – we have been both played by my so-called lover or should I say 'our' lover.
"How fuckíng rich Zayn." I taunt. He looks back and forth between us, uncertain of what to do in this situation.
Two angry girls that he has lied to but out of those two girls, I am the one that is hurt more than the other.
I sacrificed everything, for what? To be a fuckíng fool in front of everyone?
How great.
"I can explain, if you just-" Before he can continue his sentence, his side-bítch slaps him hard against his face. Zayn stumbles back, clutching his cheek.
I hope that fucķing hurt like I slapped Whitney.
"Listen here Zayn. I am no side-biṭch for anyone and I especially don't like being in the middle of commitment. You have a wife so there is no need for me. I don't roll that way." She sneers at him then collecting all the rest of things.
"I would like to apologise. I would never have an affair with a married man. I had no idea and I am sure you too. Once again, I am so sorry about this." This girl says sincerely to me, actually telling the truth to me.
Nodding in response, she leaves the room and finally Zayn and I are left alone.
Now that we are left alone, everything becomes overwhelming for me. My heart begins to ache, my eyes sting with tears, my legs feel like they are going to give in any moment and I all I want to do is scream at Zayn.
I am hurt. All this time, he has been cheating on me and it hurts.
I feel.. so stupid.
He lied to me every single day about him loving me but he never did.
"Carmelita, I-" Zayn tries to speak but once again I cut him off.
"Don't speak to me and don't come near me." I mutter as I step inside the closet, retrieving a bag to put as much clothes I can.
I can't keep doing to this to myself.
Fighting, getting abused emotionally and physically by him and being played with my feelings.
It's finally time to walk away from him.
After this, I can't take his shiṭ anymore.
"Carmelita, please. Just give me a chance to-" As he places his hand on my shoulder, I can't contain my anger any longer as I slap him next on his other cheek.
"No! I heard enough and seen enough! I had enough!" I yell out at him with my vision blurred by tears.
Cry later. Not now. Not in front of him.
"Please let me pack and I'll be out of your way in five minutes."
For once, Zayn actually listens to me as he steps out of the closet to leave me to pack all necessities. Wiping away my stray tears away, I take a deep breath and continue to pack my things.
Walking back and forth between the closet, bedroom where Zayn is lingering around and the bathroom, I grab all the things I need and in five minutes I have everything I need for a week packed.
"I'll have all my other stuff removed by the end of the week. The keys are on its usual place and lastly, here."
Sliding off my ring off my finger, I toss it to Zayn and he catches it. He looks at blankly and looks back up at me.
"You're right. Promises are meant to be broken. In future, don't make a promise you can't keep." I murmur.
He takes a step forward while I take a step back. "Don't do this. Please. I-I know I can't fix this but don't leave me. I-I need you." His voice comes out as beg but there is a slight crack in his voice.
"You don't need me. You never did. I was just your trophy girl you showed to everyone while on the side; you had another girl to keep you happy. Let me tell you something Zayn, you'll never find another biṭch that loves you like I do. They want your money, not your heart."
With that being said, I walk out the bedroom and make my way downstairs. The sound of Zayn's footsteps pads behind while I continue walking down the stairs.
Once I reach the bottom of the stairs, his hand grabs mine and when I turn around to look at him, he drops onto his knees.
"Don't leave me Carmelita! I can't do this without you!" He begs for mercy and finally for the first time, tears stream down his face.
Zayn is actually crying right now, begging for me to stay.
"You only realise now that you are going to lose something good that has happened. No, you were wrong about me. Apparently I was always good enough but by the looks of it, you lied to me and yourself. It's time for you to suffer."
But I know for certain that I am the one that is going to suffer more.
"Please!" Yanking my hand out of his hold, I open the front door and leave the house.
With me pacing towards the gang house so that Zayn can't catch up to me, I get there just under ten minutes. Once I get inside the house, the door bangs behind me.
"Hello Carmi!" Harry greets cheerfully but I don't respond to him as I trudge up the stairs to be left alone. Dropping my bag on the floor in Zayn's room, I begin to pace back and forth in the room.
I still can't believe I have been cheated on and even though I don't know how long it has been, I figure it's been a while.
Everyone was right about Zayn.
'Zayn doesn't do commitment'
'You're with Zayn? Oh my god! What a joke! Honey, just head back home because you're looking for love in the wrong place'
'The word 'love' doesn't exist in Zayn's vocabulary'
But what grinds my gears and finally breaks me down are Louis words.
'Zayn never loves anyone. You're going hurt yourself little girl and it's going to hurt badly. Save yourself from that and rather run off or even better, kill yourself'
Screaming till my lungs burn, I grab the bedside lamp and throw it hard against the mirror making the actual mirror and lamp shatter to pieces.
Falling onto my knees, I break down in sobs while banging my fists against the hardwood floor. "Why?! Why?! Why?!" I continue to scream through my cries.
Everywhere it hurts but what hurts the most is my broken heart.
All the love I have given to Zayn for four years has gone to waste. Everything I have given up – my life, my family, my friends and my values, has all gone down the drain.
For what? To be cheated on for god knows how long.
He played with my heart, my feelings and even my life for his own satisfaction. He lied about loving me, wanting to be with me forever and being the only girl he will ever love.
He fuckíng lied about everything and he got me so good.
I am a fool to not believe what others have said about him because they were telling the truth but I chose not to believe them.
Now here I am, on my knees, sobbing at the fact that I have been heartbroken by the only person I ever loved.
My first and only boyfriend – Zayn Javadd Malik.
Finally Dios found a way to punish me after disobeying him and betraying him.
And fucķ, it hurts tremendously. Worse than anything else.
The bedroom door flies open and I see Liam, Sophia and Niall looking stunned at the scene before them.
"Carmi, what happened?" Liam panics. Sophia sits down on the floor and pulls me closer to her. Unable to stop crying, my anxiety begins to rise as I begin to struggle to breath and my sobs aren't making it better.
"She is having a panic attack!" Sophia yells to the men and both of them run out to get something to help me.
"Carmelita! Breathe!" She cries out and with every second passing, I find it difficult to breath with me hyperventilating and sobbing hysterically.
I hate him. I fuckíng hate him.
And one way or another, I am going to make him pay for what he has done to me.
》 》 》
And we have finally come to the big downfall of the story. Oh good god, I am feel like crying too :(
Poor Carmelita but did I get you guys? Or did you somehow felt that Zayn wasn't his true self?
But hey, I am gonna catch you more out. Just you wait ;)
Alright, till next time. Bye bye
XO