Chapter 28
Cosette
Grandmother.
Your grandmother.
I'm Margaret Dianna Giovanni, your grandmother.
"Excuse me?" I asked after a minute of mental blockage.
"I'm your mother's mother, dear." She shakily explained as I look at her incredulously. No wonder her eyes are familiar.
"You look exactly like your mother." She added as I shook my head vigorously in disbelief.
"We searched for you, for so long. Oh dear." She tried to touch my hand that's on the table but I swiftly took it back.
"We missed you for so long-"
Everything she's saying is just a blur now. My chest is heavy and I can't seem to breathe. Head is getting lighter, surroundings getting blurrier. Scared.
I'm having a panic attack.
"STOP!!" I shouted. I panted loudly trying so hard to not let my tears roll down. "I can't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
I walked out.
All the way to the taxi stands.
Then in my unit, and shut myself from the world. Like I used to. Like the old times.
The fear. The sorrow. The darkness. They're here once again to join me and pull me down... under the darkness of my own mind.
Knock! Knock!
I opened up my eyes from the urgent knocking from the other side of the door. I'm curled up like a ball under my bed.
Wait. Under my BED?!
I crawled out of the narrow space and saw the chaos that is my room. Mirrors are shattered, things are on the floor. Clothes everywhere. I walked out of my room to see the living space and kitchen is in the same state as well.
I opened the door and saw a very very very concerned Ryan. Oh and did I mentioned very? He embraced me as soon as I opened the door.
"What happened to you, are you fine? Did you hurt yourself?" He frantically asked as he looked at me all over trying to find what's wrong.
"I'm fine." I stated sounding confused myself. "I think."
"I haven't seen you for two days!" He outburst. "I checked the security camera but it shows that you haven't left since the day you came back after you've shopped with Ash. Are you fine? What happened?"
I looked at his black expressive eyes, I drowned in the emotions it convey and it all came back. My tears rimmed on the corners of my eyes. I clutched on him and sobbed loudly. He embraced me tightly as he quietly caress my back.
I'm scared. Really scared.
I know I should be happy to see my grandmother but what if, their just like the Ashfords? What if they'll break me too? What if they'll only try to use me. I'm scared. Then everything blacked out.
"Hey, are you feeling fine now?" Ryan asked as he pull me closer to his warm body. We're in his room, specifically on his bed.
I meekly nodded and slowly got up. He sat up as well and observed me keenly. "What happened? Ash told me that you talked with a woman in the mall."
"I don't want to talk about it," I said, almost a whisper. He caressed my back and nodded.
"Are you hungry?"
I shook my head, no. "I'm going back to my unit."
I walked out, back to my place. I know it sounds crazy, but I wanted him to stop me. I wanted him to embrace me, pull me back and tell me to stay there with him.
I caged my self inside my unit for ten days. I cleaned and put the things (that aren't broken) on its proper places. I contemplated. I always have a plan, but I'm a afraid I don't have one right now since Ryan and I happened. This is bad.
"Hi." Ryan greeted as I opened my door for him.
He looked around with a surprised expression. When I said I cleaned, I meant paint the walls remodel the room and replace everything.
"Wow." He remarked. "You redesigned."
"Yeah, did you like it?" I smiled at him expectantly.
"Yes, its quite refreshing actually."
I came back to my routine. Actually, I can't seem to remember why I'm locking myself in my unit in the first place. I'm feeling great and I'd like to stay that way.
"This looks fancy." Ash pointed to a gold wristwatch inside a glass case.
We're in the mall. Looking for a decent gift for Ryan. Preferably a wristwatch.
I looked around the store famous in selling this kinds of stuff. There are too many to choose from, and its hard.
"Too sparkly."
"Ooh... too huge."
"Too chic."
"Too yellow."
"Too many gems.
"Too heavy."
"Too tiny."
"I don't think he'll like that kind of style."
"Maybe something else."
"But not that, definitely not that."
"Maybe this one." I pointed to a wristwatch in the farthest corner of their display.
"We don't sell this anymore Ms, I'm terribly sorry." The attendant quickly said when she saw the watch that I was pointing.
"Why?" Ash asked in irritation. Maybe because he's already been asking to take a break and eat lunch countless of times, but I'm pretty determined to exit this shop with something with me.
"Someone already have it on reserve." She looked at us apologetically.
"Don't you have another in stock?" Ash confusedly added.
"I'm afraid its the only one in the whole world, there's nothing like it."
"How much did the person have it in reserve?" I determinedly asked.
"Almost over 1.5 billion, Ms."
"I'll triple it just sell it to me." The attendant looked at me in disbelief.
"Ar-are you certain, Ms?" She asked still shocked.
"Yes." I firmly replied.
"Wa-wait for moment, Ms. I'll talk to our manager." She excused herself and almost ran to her superior.
The attendant went back to us with her manager in tow. The guy assessed us politely. They were deeply hesitant at selling me the watch at first making me really curious who the first buyer is, but they eventually gave in when they saw my name on the check I insistently gave.
"Thank you so much, may you visit us again." The manager politely said as we leave the establishment.
Days went by too fast for my liking, before I knew it, its already Christmas next week. It not that I hate Christmas, I love it actually. I'm pretty excited and nervous cause its the first one I'm gonna spend it with Ryan... and not alone (but if you count the crews on 7eleven, then no.)
"I'm home!" Ryan announced as he barge inside my kitchen and kissed me on the cheek. I'm not good at cooking but I know a few easy recipes.
I stirred the crab and mushroom soup and watch it boil a few more minutes then turned off the stove. Yes, I know what your thinking, crab?! mushroom?! I both like it, so I thought why not combine it? And in my defense, it turned out awesome and also it goes really well with the pizza so... win win.
"I'm just gonna pick up the pizza across the street." I yelled to Ryan whose in the living room as I put on my converse in the doorway. He heard a faint yeah, so I left.
I pushed through the glass door of the condominium lobby and stepped out. I immediately regret that I tolerated my laziness and did not get my jacket.
I awkwardly saluted to Bernie, the person behind the counter when he saw me enter. He swiftly prepared the freshly done pizzas, I paid and literally ran back to the warmth of my unit.
I closed the door and was greeted with silence. I thought he already picked the movie? I walked in the living room and saw a serious looking Ryan sitting on the floor with his legs under the table Ash and I bought last time, the soup barely boiling over the dim lit stove on the center of it.
"Why so serious?" I settled the pizza on the table and tucked my legs under it as well.
"Its nothing." He dismissed.
We watched the movie, Agent Hitman 47. Its cool, the character's awesome. I love the game first that's why I insisted we watch the movie.
We finished the three boxes of pizza and the soup, after two more movies, we finally decided to hit the hay. Ryan was incredibly quiet. Too quiet than his normal quiet, get it?
"Is something wrong?" I asked after a few seconds of laying here in bed beside him. "Aren't you feeling well?"
He didn't answer. He just pulled me close and kissed my hair. What's happening Sette? Think!!
"Let's sleep." He finally answered after a few deep sighs. "I love you."
"I love you too." I whispered as I surrendered to the feeling of security and comfort that he always gives me.
If someone back then ever told me that being able to lay close to the person you love is this incredible, I think I would be one of those foolish people. Searching something... that can only find you.
Cause I seriously don't believe that something this unexplainable can be found in a simple luck in the sea of people in this universe.
••••••••••••••
A/N:
Wow! 2015 is a whirlwind for me.
Its like a blur actually, but it was a fun ride. I loved it.
Belated happy new year everybody! ;)