(A/N: To @ReadPercyJackson, my consultant about Leo's personality)
Leo was holding a piece of paper and taking notes.
"Again, so we need a cinnamon cake..."
Dylan shouted from under a car.
"Make it double!"
Leo continued his list.
"Coconut pie, lemon pie, a bag of scones, oreo cookies..."
"At least five!"
"I want it too, make it eight!"
"No, fifteen!"
Leo interrupted.
"I'll get twenty, okay? Ryan, what do you want?"
"I don't like sweets, bring me a sandwich"
"What flavor?"
"I don't know. Roast beef, maybe"
Leo picked the money Ryan was handing to him and headed to the bakery on the other side of the street. He was waiting in the line, humming a song, when he heard a hiss behind him. All his demigods instincts turned on.
What is it?
I don't know, maybe a monster. And I don't have any weapons! Gods, how I miss my tool belt now.
What do we do?
Improvise and get ready to run.
He turned but it wasn't a monster. Well, at least didn't look like a monster. It was a beautiful girl with green and purple streaks.
That's odd.
What?
She's looking at me with more hate that most monsters did.
Why is this odd?
Because I always had a gift to be annoying. Most monsters wanted to kill me just to shut me up. It's really flattering knowing that I can piss her off even more before even saying a word.
It's a truly blessed gift.
"WHAT are you doing here? I thought I said to stay away from me"
"No, you didn't"
"Yes, I DID"
"No,you didn't. You said to stay away from your shop and most of all, your flowers"
She rolled her eyes.
"Get. Out"
"Nope"
She was taking deep breaths, and Leo waved the piece of paper he was holding.
"I have a list to order, and I don't want to face Dylan without his cinnamon cake. Make it double"
"Fine! But don't talk to me!"
And she left to a table were she was sitting previously, probably.
What? But she came to talk to us!
Impossible woman!
***
"Hey, Leoni, can you help me?"
Leo turned to look at Carl.
"Sure, with what?"
"You already finished with your last work, right?"
Leo nodded.
"Because I need to go to the bank and hand over some documents"
"So you need me to fix the car you're working on?"
"No, I need you to go to the bank for me. The owner of the car I'm working on is a pain, looking over my shoulder to everything I'm doing, and the bank is almost closing, can you go for me?"
"Sure, just let me tell Ryan"
***
Leo was tapping his fingers on his thighs, trying to create a beat to kill the boredom of waiting in the line. The bank was crowded with all kinds of people.
Do you want to play a game?
What game?
Create backgrounds to strangers?
Let's do it!
See that old lady over there? I bet she's the master mind behind cupcake's trafficking.
That man in a suit? He is secretly a drag queen performer every thrusday night.
And I bet his professional name is Venus.
See that little girl with a flower dress with her mother? They're not mother and daughter, they're two secret russian agents. The 'kid' is actually a dwarf, and one of the best assassins out there.
That lady reading the paper? I bet she's reading the horoscope, just like everyone from Pisces does.
Is there a zodiac sign with luck number 69?
See that cougar-like lady, with the too-tight skinny pants with leopard print? She's the manager's secret affair.
She doesn't know she's the most spoken-of affair of this bank.
The really secret affair is that big guy, dirty, fat and sweat, who looks like works with construction.
Who does he have an affair with?
The manager, of course!
And he also make out with the cash clerk during lunch.
And she knows about the cougar, can you see how she is giving the change to the cougar looking guilty?
Leo was so distracted he didn't notice someone approaching him from behind.
"Again?? Are you stalking me?"
Again?
Is SHE stalking us?
Leo's voice showed clearly his lack of excitement.
"Hi. Again"
"I'll say it one more time. Stay away from me, stalker!"
Leo was becoming a little impatient.
"I could, gladly, but I won't"
"What? Why won't you?"
"Because I'm not stalking you in the first place!"
"Really? First the bakery, now the bank?"
"It's a coincidence"
"Really?"
"Yeah, never heard? Once is an accident, twice is a coincidence, three times is pattern"
"So what, if I see you a third time, I can ask for a restriction order?"
Why did you had to say that?
Because I'm stupid!
"No! I'm not stalking you. I know a lot about machines, but I'm not one myself. I need to do human things, like eat tacos, go to the bank, catch a bus, be awesome, make the ladies swoon and all that"
"Whatever. Do your things in a different time from me, or I'll see as a sign for you stalking me, got it?"
She turned and walked out the bank.
How should we know what is her routine so we can avoid?
This girl is crazy.
***
Argh, it burns.
I can feel it too.
We need to go to the drugstore, right?
I think so.
Leo walked to the drugstore almost doubled over. The clerk raised his eyebrow.
"What can I do for you?"
"You can make the pain go away"
"What's hurting?"
"My stomach"
"Ok, did you eat anything unsual in the last hours?"
"No, nothing unusual. A pizza, ice cream, cherry coke, orange juice..."
What else?
Let me think...
"Nuggets, pringles, three meat tacos and half of a pinapple"
The clerk was looking impressed.
"All that in how many hours?"
"Three"
The man was less impressed now.
"So... you're feeling acidity"
"I feel like I'm dying!"
"I'll get you something, wait here"
Leo was looking around to pass time when he saw someone in a distance. Actually, he saw green and purple, and that combination made him muster whatever strenght he had left and jump the counter to the other side. When the clerk returned, he seemed confused and opened his mouth to probably ask why Leo was on this side of the counter, and hiding behind it. Leo put a finger in front of his mouth to ask to secret and gestured with his hand to the man kneel down. He first looked to both sides before kneeling.
"What are you doing here?"
"Hiding from a girl"
The man was hiding a smile.
"Are you that awkward among girls?"
"No, I'm the ladies favorite! I just like to avoid a she-devil painted with green and purple"
"Why?"
"Because she thinks I'm stalking her"
"And you are?"
"No! But she won't believe me. Can you wait until she's gone and let me know I can get out of here?"
The man rolled his eyes, but just nodded.
"How should I know who is the girl?"
"She has purple and green hair, will be easy to spot"
Leo had to wait behind the counter for fifteen minutes, until she left. It was just the time it took to the anti-acid do its magic. He paid it, thanked his saviour and walked home whistling.
That was close.
That girl or dying of pain?
Both.
***
Dylan called him.
"Leoni, come here"
"What?"
"Ryan is waiting for you at his office"
Ryan was with a woman, that Leo recognized as the woman who told him to run when the tire crashed those flowers. He sighed.
"What? Is she coming for me again?"
Both looked at him with confusion.
"What?"
"That girl, who hates me. Is she coming for me again?"
The woman's face was in a slight scowl.
"Who? Nymph, no, she's not coming for you. Yet, anyway. But she'll come for me next"
His eyebrows shot up.
"Why?"
Ryan took over.
"Her name is Christina, and as you remember, she works at the flower shop. And she needs a mechanic, so I offered you"
"A mechanic? What, your deliver van broke or something? I didn't see it at the shop"
"No, I need someone to fix the cold chamber"
"Cold chamber? For what?"
"We use it to preserve the flowers. We called tech-support, but they'll have a man come here only in four hours. But our cold chamber has been off for more than five hours, we need it fixed now"
"And you want ME to fix it?"
Ryan tried to explain.
"She asked if one of the boys could fix it, even if wasn't a car. And I thought about you, since you seem to have an instintive knowledge of machines, despite being so young. So, can you try?"
Leo thought for a moment.
"Will Nymph be there?"
Christina nodded.
"Yes, but she'll play nice. What she cares most in this world are her flowers, so if you're there to help with the flowers, she'll be... polite"
Leo arched an eyebrown.
"No bucket with fertilizer?"
Christina pursed her lips for a couple of seconds to prevent a laugh and promissed.
"No bucket with fertilizer"
Leo clapped his hands.
"So, what are we waiting for?"
She guided him to the flowershop. Leo heard Nymph's voice before seeing her.
"I called support for the ninth time, and doesn't matter how much I try to explain that we CAN'T wait for four hours, they won't budge! I hope you got more luck with the..."
Her voice trailed off when she caught sight of him. She looked disgusted.
"WHAT is HE doing here?"
So much for 'play nice'. I don't see her playing nice, do you?
No. And Christina said she 'would be polite'. I don't see her being polite, do you?
Nope.
That's what I thought.
"He came here to help us and fix the cold chamber"
Nymph crossed her arms.
"When you said you're going to get someone from the workshop on the other side of the street, I didn't think you meant him"
"I didn't mean him, I meant anyone that could fix the chamber so our flowers wouldn't die"
Nymph looked him over and didn't see to like what she saw.
"He's just a scrawny boy"
Leo became offended and took a step ahead to correct her.
"First of all, lady, I invented the scrawny, so I'm not JUST a scrawny boy.Second, I'm here because I'm the most likely to know how to fix your chamber"
"Have you ever seen a cold chamber ONCE in your life?"
Have you?
Nope.
Me neither.
"No"
Her jaw went slack.
"Then HOW are you planning to fix something you never saw???"
Leo waved a hand to dismiss her words.
"Please, lady, I can fix ANYTHING"
"What are you? Fix-It Felix?"
"Sure, why not?"
Who is him?
It's a characther from a videogame, who fixed everything with a golden hammer.
I fixed a lot of monsters with a flamming hammer, does it count? They probably didn't think that as fixing, but for me, it fixed a lot.
There's a movie about it. Actually it's about a lot of games.
Does he gets the girl?
Amazingly, yes.
So I want to watch it.
Nymph snickered.
"You're just as short"
Leo leaned toward her and waved his eyebrows at her, with a side smile.
"And I'll get the girl"
Her face morphed to a scowl.
"Now, listen here..."
Christina interrupted before Nymph started her rant.
"So, Leoni, do you think you can fix it?"
Leo grinned like nothing was wrong.
"We'll never know until we try. Step aside, ladies, Uncle Leo can solve any problem"
He smirked to Nymph.
"Problems about wanting a boyfriend among them"
She rolled her eyes, ignored him and left the room.
She loves me.
And me, don't forget. This awesome scrawny body is mine.
Together, we're irresistible.
Now what?
Well, my speciality is fire and hot, but let's see what we can do for the cold.
***
Christina and Nymph were side by side, wide-eyed.
"You really fixed it"
Leo snorted.
"Your lack of faith is really encouraging"
Christina turned to look at him.
"But how did you do it?"
Leo made a mysterious face and spoke with a lower voice.
"A magician never reveals his secrets"
I thought this was obvious!
Do we always have to explain anything?
Apparently.
Nymph looked at him.
"This was an exception, but my decision is the same: stay away from my flowers!"
She stormed out and Christina had an apology written all over her face.
Why do you think she hates us?
Because she can't resist us.
Good, so we're on the same page.
Flashback over, back to present
J: Leo, are you still coming tomorrow?
L: What do you need me for?
J: The date...?
L: Fine, if you insist. But I want flowers and a limo! I'm not just some cheap girl, I deserve to be treated like a princess.
J: You're supposed to help me arrange everything for my date with PIPER.
L: No limo and flowers then?
J: No.
L: So you want me to find a way to go to your house by own?
J: Yes.
L: Snif. I'm feeling so used right now! How could you do this to me, Jason!?
J: Leo...
L: Fine, but I want tacos to eat while I arrange this 'date with Piper'.
J: Deal.
L: I still can't believe you traded me for her! What does she have that I don't!?
J: For one thing, she's the BEAUTY queen, not a DRAMA queen.
L: Hey, do you think you can get Fonzies? And Alfred to come pick me up on batmobile?