Chapter Twenty Nine:
Claire's POV
My fingers grasped onto the unusual texture under me. It felt somewhat familiar, almost like carpet. Wait. I'd know this anywhere. I opened my tightly shut eyes only to see myselfs reflection in the sliding closet doors mirror. I knew where I was. But why was I here?
I looked at myself more closely, as seeing that I was in my sweats and a baggy T-shirt. What I had worn to bed last...
I gasped aloud and stood up slowly, looking around my Nana's bedroom to see if anyone was in the room with me. Though I saw no one, my cat, Abby, scurried past me without even noticing that I was in her presence. I continued to watch her as she leaped up onto the bathroom counter and began eating out of her little bowl.
Confused by what was going on and what the point of this dream was, I closed my eyes again and tried to concentrate on my other senses. My ears immediately picked up chattering coming from the main room.. My wide eyes shot open, feeling my heart beat accelerate, I pushed my legs forward and out the door.
Soon my nose inhaled a large warm scent of fresh food. I set foot on the cold tile floor, taking a few more sniffs.
Ham? Apple pie?
I knew that we always had ham on... Christmas. Okay, so I figured out that this was Christmas day at my Nana's house, but why? More importantly, what year was it.
I moved further and further through the warm home, until I laid my eyes on my mother cooking beside Nana in the kitchen. She looked in my direction for a split second, and my hand raised up to wave instinctively. Though her expression was as if no one was even there. My eyebrows pushed down into a line as I thought.
She didn't look any older, no offense. And neither did Nana. That really got me worried in a weird way. I don't know, but I felt sorta sick to my stomach.
I continued through the kitchen swiftly and poked my head through the door leading into the living room slash dining room. Where I saw my family all around the beautifully decorated Christmas tree, presents in hands, laughing and smiling. I smiled to myself to see everyone enjoying themselves, till I caught myself smiling with my boyfriend. Tears flew straight to my eyes as I watched us sitting together on the couch; his arm around my shoulder and his other hand on my belly.
No. I can't be... What flipping year is this.. I rushed out of the room and back to the kitchen where the calender has always been hung in its same spot, and read the four numbers that were printed on top. I think my heart just stuttered to a halt.
December 2010
This was only a few months away.
"No!" I screamed, the stinging tears rushing their way out and down my cheeks. I ran back through the room, my relatives passing through me like I was a ghost. I knelt down in front of my future self and Taylor, reaching out one of my shaking hands towards the bulge of my stomach. My hand was just inches away from laying it on the peak before I let my strength go, as my hand was soon back on the floor with a thud.
I couldn't touch anything. Anybody. Not even myself.
I cried hysterically more as I kept trying to lay my own palm on the stomach, though ending up watching it fall through like wind each time.
I sat back, sniffling, watching Taylor whisper something into my ear which I guess was funny cause I laughed, having my belly shake in response. He leaned over my stomach, laying his ear right on top and listened. I couldn't stop myself from smiling at this picture, though I knew it wasn't what we wanted.. Yet anyways. I turned my head around seeing everyone else opening presents and having fun, like me being pregnant was nothing anymore. It was all in the past. But I was nineteen!
I couldn't take this feeling anymore, I stood and walked straight for the front door, which I didn't even bother opening since I knew I couldn't. I glided right through and embraced the cool winter air.
I couldn't let this happen. I knew Taylor didn't want kids- I didn't even know if he wanted kids... We hadn't talked much about it. What am I saying? We're not even married. We had sex for the first time the other night! I wasn't sure whether I should bring this dream up with him soon... But before I could really think about this subject, I hadn't noticed that I had walked all the way out into the middle of the street. I looked over my shoulder to see bright headlights getting closer and closer to me, until they just about blinded me. I opened my mouth to scream but knew that it would just go right through me, though I woke up with a gasp anyway.
I looked around to find myself in the family room, the TV's volume on low as Just Married with Ashton Kutcher and Britney Murphy was playing. I shook the recent dream slash nightmare out of my head and found the remote on the floor, switching off the TV. I got up slowly, my joints cracking along, and made my way into the kitchen. I grabbed myself some orange juice from the fridge and scratched my head as I tried to remember where the glasses were..
"Aha." I turned another direction and opened up a cabeniet door which held tall and short glasses. I snatched one and poured myself some juice. Taking a sip, I looked down at the marble counter to see a post it with my name on it.
Hope you had a good nap :)
I'm at the gym and will be back sooner than you think..
I love you with everything I have,
and my heart belongs to you.
See you,
Taylor
I sighed happily, now forgetting my future scare.. I just had to focus on being careful with him now. I knew deep down that I had to tell him what I had dreamt about, which I'm sure would worry him, but you never know until you try right? I held the piece of paper to my heart as I skipped through the empty house and up the stairs towards the bedroom. I set the note in my suitcase and went off into the bathroom, where I started up the water in the bathtub.
As soon as the water was steaming hot, I poured in some vanilla lavender soap that I found among Taylors stuff. Hmm, he likes vanilla? And lavender. I giggled as I swirled it into the water with my fingers, bubbles filling every inch of the tub. I then stripped down to nothing, and lowered myself into the warm water. It stung my skin at first, but then soon tingled; forming goosebumps on my body. I settled lower into the warm liquid, foaming bubbles covering every visible spot of my body. Maybe I had put in too much.. Oh what the hell, they're bubbles.
Then out of no where, Taylor appeared in the bathroom.
"Holy crap!" I clutched my chest under the water, as his expression grew excited, seeing me in the bathtub.
"I didn't know you were in here." he chuckled, taking off his work out shirt.
I cleared my throat, feeling my heart overheat as I observed his overly-tan-recently-worked-out-biceps-and-abs. He smiled at me, running his fingers through his hair.
"Care if I join you?" he asked sexily.
I shrugged playfully, "I don't know... What if I just wanna be by myself for once?" Smiling jokingly.
His smile turned into a grin as he came closer and crouched down next to the side of the tub, laying his huge arms on top. I sighed, trying not to let him get to me that easily.
"If that's what you want.." he dragged his words out nice and slow.. Tempting me.
Dammit.
I groaned and leaned my head back, "Okay. Come on in."
"Yes!" he whispered in satisfaction.
Taylors warm hands traced up and down my thighs as I laid comfortably in his lap; my head leaning up against his chest. I thought that with him under me would be intensely uncomfortable, but after a minute, it wasn't what I expected. It was nice. Just the two of us, soaking and relaxing together. I turned my head to the side, moving my hand up to his neck and pulling his head a little lower to kiss his lips softly. Our kisses were normally fierce and passionate, but this was sweet and affectionate. The corners of my mouth pulled up into a smile, having him break the bond between our mouths. I stared at him questionably, wondering if I should bring up what I dreamt about...
"Whats on your mind Claire.." he shifted a little under me, his arms molding around my body, as if they were meant to be there at all times.
"I just had this dream earlier..." I admitted quietly.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
I shook my head, "I don't know yet."
"You know you don't have to alright?" his hands found mine under the bubbly water.
I took a large breath in and just let it out.
"It was Christmas day of this year.. and I... was pregnant." I looked up at him, awaiting his reply.
His eyes were understanding, though shocked. My eyes on the other hand were filling up with more tears... Again. I laid my forehead on his chest while I cried. He said nothing, but just rubbed my back reassuringly. He probably thought I was crazy. At the fact at why I was crying over a dream. I mean, it was just a dream, not our real future.
Wasn't it?